Quiet on the Campus
by MaliceArchangela
Summary: Sequel: After a long boring summer, Cin is ready to start college. But what happens when the Akatsuki show up injured at her front door? She heals them and they go off to college. But on the campus, can the boys keep their secret? Or will Cin go insane?
1. Chapter 1: Reunion

After a long boring summer, Cin is ready to start college. But what happens when the Akatsuki show up injured at her front door? She heals them and they go off to college. But in the off-campus housing, can the boys keep their secret?

Hey everyone! Welcome back to my story!

To any new readers, you might want to go to the first story, _Quiet on the Golf Course_ before reading this one, or else you might find yourself confused, because there are some things that I'm not explaining twice!

To reuse the quote by Robert Porterfield I started with, not even a full year ago, "If you like it, talk about it. If you don't, keep your mouth shut!"

And back by popular request is your riddle!

Ready or not, here it comes!

**Is it legal for a man living in North Carolina to be buried in South Carolina?**

RERV! (Read, Enjoy, Review, and Vote!)

…** … … …**

Cin couldn't believe it. She just couldn't believe what she saw before her eyes. She had hoped that she would have more time before this moment, oh, why had they come so soon? Was it not bad enough that a good portion of her summer was taken up by the Akatsuki? And now her period of relaxation and recuperation was gone!

According to the calendar, it was almost time for college to start.

The girl was grateful to have not seen any sign of the Akatsuki…not that she didn't _want_ to see them, it's just being around them was extremely stressful.

But she'd get to go without them this school year, and she couldn't help but look forward to going to college, especially since this university was one that she had wanted to go to for practically her entire life.

Everything was packed up, and now she was just counting down the minutes until she would be able to move in her dorm.

Cin couldn't help but wonder who her roommate would be…and hoped that she would be really nice!

Something else the somewhat-Akatsuki member hoped for was that she'd be able to find time to practices her skills before she lost them completely.

And something told her that forgetting such things would be a fatal error.

Leaning back in her chair, she flipped a strand of hair behind her ear. She was happy to notice that her hair had almost fully grown back to its length to the small of her back that it was before it had been cut off in that disastrous haircut the now missing Veronica had so graciously given her.

She wondered what the Akatsuki would think of her hair being so long. It probably wasn't the smartest thing for a ninja to have…but then again, didn't some of the Konoha shinobi have long hair? Also, she could use Deidara for an example.

Besides, she had an idea of a way to keep from her hair being used against her.

But before she could indulge in more rest and relaxation of the knowledge that the Akatsuki were back in their hideout and she was heady off to every teen's dream, the doorbell rang.

Sighing to herself, she went to the door…opened it, and stared with wide amber eyes.

"I know we said we'd leave you alone for four years, un," the blond spoke, holding his arm at its elbow down at his side before lifting it to show the shocked girl, "But we kinda need some help, yeah?"

Deidara's arm was sliced off.

Hidan was being carried by Kakuzu in a bunch of pieces with his head yelling loudly profanities.

And Sasori was being carried by Kisame, looking very much so like a puppet while Itachi held the thing that Cin knew to be the puppet's heart.

So, Cin did what any girl would do when a bunch of crazed murderers who were supposed to leave her alone for four years so she could go to college in peace who had just shown up at her front door needed to be healed does.

_Thunk!_

…** … … …**

Sorry it's not very long, but hopefully I'll get the second chapter written soon enough!

Remember, RERV! I'll be keeping the voting for pairings up until chapter 10, so keep voting!


	2. Chapter 2: Broken Bird

It's nice to see that so many people were anticipating this story coming out! My inbox was flooded with stuff from this, and it made me really happy!

**Is it legal for a man living in North Carolina to be buried in South Carolina?**

I've gotten a few good answers, you know who you are!

So, Cin's fainted at the sight of the Akatsuki returning, but how will things continue when she awakens with such a huge mess to clean up?

The only sure way to find out is to read on, dear friends, read on!

RERV! (Read, Enjoy, Review, and Vote!)

…** … … …**

_Why was everything so fuzzy?_ Cin wondered as she wandered to consciousness, _And so loud?_

"Why did have to _expletive_ing faint? That _expletive_ing girl hasn't changed at bit since we last _expletive_ing saw her!"

Three guesses on who, and the first two don't count!

But anyways, Cin responded before she even opened her eyes without thinking first.

"_Expletive_."

"OW!"

Her eyes opened to see Hidan's head flinching next to her, swearing profusely.

Grabbing him by the hair and lifting him into the air, she glared at him, "I thought you said you'd stop swearing."

"In case you haven't noticed, this is a perfect situation to _expletive_ing curse!" he yelled back.

Oooh! Her swear was a moonstone this time!

"And how is that important?" everyone's favorite weasel asked…

He can still hear me, can't he?

"Yes, 'he' can."

I thought you were going to get rid of that over the summer!

"Hn."

!

"Itachi, perhaps you ought to see someone about these delusions of yours."

"I am quite fine, Kisame."

Cin sighed as she rubbed her eyes.

It was as though they hadn't even left.

…

"Okay, so what's the problem?" Cin asked, finally having gotten everyone to settle down.

"Well, as you can _expletive_ing see…"

"_Expletive_." Cin spoke without blinking, "Okay, someone _besides_ Hidan want to tell me?"

"We got into fights and I lost one arm, my other arm is crushed, un," yeah, she could see the state of his remaining limb now, "Sasori was killed, and Hidan was blown to itty-bitty pieces."

"Okay," she could work with that, though she was kind of sad Sasori died, "Question two: What am _I_ supposed to do about it?"

"Isn't it obvious?" the rag doll spoke dryly.

"I like stuff stated out," was the clipped response, "It saves trouble later."

Deidara sighed before continuing, "Fix my arms, put Hidan back together, and hopefully restore Sasori to life."

"That's a big order," was the response as she pulled out a scroll and started looking through it, "But I think I can handle it. Dei's first, I'll work on Sasori tomorrow and Hidan the day after."

"Don't call me Dei, un," the blond muttered.

"Why them _expletive_ing first!"

"_Expletive_," she smirked as a huge rock of granite fell on his head, "You told me you'd watch your language, Hidan. This doesn't look like watching your language to me," she sighed, "But anyways, Dei's first since he'll be the easiest to heal. Then Sasori because I'll need a full tank of chakra to even _attempt_ to fix either of you, and the longer he's dead, the harder it will be to bring him back. As it is, you're last because no matter when I attempt to put you back together, you will be extremely difficult to fix. Question answered?"

The albino grumbled under his breath.

"Good," now she was smiling again, "Come over here, Dei!"

"Don't call me Dei, un," he grumbled, but sat next to her, "Which arm?"

"Let's reattach the severed arm first, the longer it's separated, the harder it will be to reconnect the neurons in order to allow you full use of this appendage again."

Deidara decided it would be best to at least _pretend_ he understood what she was saying, nodding as she started rattling off everything she'd need to do.

"Wait," Itachi spoke before she started, "Have you been practicing?"

"Yeah," was the response, "Unfortunately, not on something quite like this, but I've healed some animals with bad wounds and worked on the pain thing. But thanks for reminding me!" she turned to our masked member, "Tobi, can you fetch me another stick?"

"Sure, Cin-chan!"

He bounced away and quickly returned with the wood asked for.

"Thanks," she put it in her mouth and got to work.

…

She _had_ gotten better, Deidara realized, he could actually feel his arm connecting as he focused on that rather than looking at her face.

Even if she _could_ handle the pain, there's no guarantee that it wouldn't show on her face, just like practically _every_ emotion that crossed her mind.

She would need to work on that.

"Okay, done," she spoke, spitting out the wood with extreme gusto, "Just let me take a break and we'll get to the other one."

Her breathing was extremely ragged, and when he looked at her, she was sweating from the exertion.

"Kisame," she spoke, "Could you get me a granola bar from the kitchen, please? And also some water?"

Normally the fish-man would tease her about having legs so she could fetch it herself, but looking at her, he reasoned that if she tried to move, her legs would probably collapse on her.

So he fetched the items she asked for.

With all the eagerness of a hungry lion, she ripped open the bar and ate it so quickly that no one saw it move in between her hand and her mouth.

Then she chugged the water down, and afterwards she looked much better.

Not great by any means, but certainly much better.

"Zetsu, I know you said when we last parted that you didn't want to do this, but could you fix dinner these next few nights? I don't think I'll be up to it."

The plant man sighed, "Fine. **But just three nights.** No more than that."

"Got it!" she grinned happily at him before sighing and retrieving her stick, "Okay, Deidara, let's get moving on the next arm."

"Don't call me…" then he realized she had used the full name and decided to just fume in silence as the others laughed and Itachi smirked.

…** … … …**

So, what did everyone think of Chapter 2?

Like I've said before, though, there's no guarantee the other chapters will come out as fast as this one did, it all depends on how much time I have.

But hey, I don't like waiting either, so I'll do my best!

Remember, RERV!


	3. Chapter 3: Severed Strings

**Is it legal for a man living in North Carolina to be buried in South Carolina?**

Who's still up for answering? I'll be accepting responses till chapter 5!

So, who's ready for Cin to attempt to bring our favorite scorpion back? Read on…if you dare!

…** … … …**

Cin was usually a very healthy eater, this the Akatuski knew from pass experience, especially since she hated running but didn't want to blow up like a balloon.

So when they came down to breakfast the next morning to find her in the midst of the king of all carb loads, you can imagine they were a little surprised.

"I'm going to need a lot of energy to even _attempt_ bringing Sasori back," she explained before shoving a large bit of French toast in her mouth, "For that, I need lots of sugar and lots of protein. Besides, this healing thing really takes up a lot of energy, and afterwards I always feel so hungry I think I might be sick. So I'm eating ahead of time to lessen that a bit."

"So do you have a plan, un?"

"A bit of one, no guarantees that it will work, though."

"Hey, it's better **than what we've got**."

"You don't know that."

"Hn."

"Yes, I'll get to work now, Itachi, no need to be so pushy let me just wash off this syrup and get prepared."

…

"Okay," she was all business now in her comfortable t-shirt and shorts, "I've got an idea on what to do, but I'll need some help from Itachi, Kisame, and Kakuzu."

"Why us?" the blue man asked.

"Well, Itachi's got the best chakra control, so he can possibly help me guide mine in the right direction. You've got the largest amount of chakra, so I'm just going to connect a little of my chakra to yours. It'll be sort of like a lifeline that you can pull me out of this healing if necessary. If I'm going too far, use your sword to cut the connection. If you can't pull me back but still try, you might end up pulled in after me. It will take a while with your chakra amount, but it will eventually happen. And Kakuzu, I'm going to be playing a little Doctor Frankenstein. We might be able to give his heart a bit of a jump start."

"So this'll bring him back, un?"

"Not necessarily. I'm banking on the fact that Sasori built something into this jutsu to allow him to be brought back from a near death state. If I'm right, he won't be dead, just in a state of limbo. If I'm wrong…" she shuddered, "…well, the chances of me getting pulled in might increase a bit…"

She trailed off, but upon seeing the worried looks, she gave the others a huge smile, "But like I said, I highly doubt that Sasori didn't create a failsafe method to get himself back. He may be arrogant about his skills, but he's not stupid. He would've planned for a way to get back…he might have even written it down, just didn't give it to you guys. So, ready to get to work?"

With the group assent, she signaled for Kisame and Itachi to bring in the puppet and his heart.

"Deidara, Tobi, you two might want to take Hidan out of here. This is going to be a _long_ process and we'll need absolute silence. How about you head over to the game room or something?"

With that, Tobi skipped off carrying the bag that was Hidan while Deidara slowly walked behind them, casting glances behind him.

He tried to comfort himself; it _would_ be like the old man to create a failsafe…but he was always so sure of himself. Somehow, the blond couldn't help but doubt that his danna had ever thought about being killed, especially by a pink-headed girl and his own grandmother.

Hey, _he_ had a hard time believing it. Danna was always so sure of himself.

But this was out of his hands…he'd just have to hope the others could bring him back without dying in the process.

Something was seriously wrong with the world if he was _missing_ that art-idiot.

…

Cin sighed as the loud trio left before turning to her helpers.

First she turned to the partners, gesturing for them to lay the puppet out on the low table she had and to replace his heart where it was supposed to be.

"Kakuzu, could you go over to his head please?" when he did, she sat herself down on Sasori's left (her right) and beckoned the other two to pull up a chair next to her.

"May I?' she asked the fish-man, who nodded.

Her eyes closed and she searched for the colors she new her chakra to me. Finding the little ball inside her, she pulled out a strand and connected it to Kisame's chakra, tying a quick but good not.

It wouldn't come undone unless it was cut. And the only thing that she knew of that could cut chakra in her house would be the tall man's sword.

Now she turned to Itachi.

He wouldn't have much to do, but she felt better for having him here. He knew much more about this sort of thing than she did, and could possibly pull her back if she started going too far.

They exchanged a nod and she turned back to Kakuzu.

"What I'll need you to do is this," she told him, "You will need to give bursts of electricity traveling from one hand to the other, passing across his heart. Somewhere in the middle voltage would be my guess…we need to really get his attention. Don't worry about messing up the puppet, I'm sure Sasori will be able to fix it later. Just do them at standard intervals until I tell you to stop."

The ragdoll nodded.

Sighing, she wiped her sweaty hands on her shorts and placed them on Sasori's heart.

It was time to begin.

She closed her eyes.

No going back now.

…

Deidara got a cold feeling in his gut and knew that they had started the attempt.

He wanted to forget and focus on beating Tobi at the game, but at this point he couldn't even recall what they were playing.

Hidan constantly swearing at them didn't help matters much either.

He wanted to be down there, but he knew that he'd only be in the way. He'd be affected by what was going on and try to stop the process…which would be the most dangerous thing he could possibly do for all those involved.

She had explained that part to everyone last night.

It was obvious that she was just getting the impulsive ones out of the way.

The least he could do was try to focus on what was going on in this room, rather than what must be going on down there.

…

She felt cold, like she had just jumped into a pool of freezing cold water, making all of her organs seize up.

It was hard to breathe.

She opened her eyes, and the room was gone, all she could see was blackness.

So this was death…no, limbo, she corrected herself.

She would be in _big_ trouble if this was death. The lords of the dead were notoriously tricky when it came to freeing the deceased.

"What are you doing here?"

It may have been a while, but she could recognize the sound.

"Sasori," she spoke, turning around to see the redhead.

…

"This will all turn out okay, correct, MaliceArchangela?"

[Of course it will. What story do we have if I kill off my main character?]

"Hn."

[Of course she's important! Don't you imply that Itachi Uchiha!]

"What is with the weird brackets anyways?"

[A reader asked for an easier way to tell that we're breaking the fourth wall.]

"Ah. Should you not try to fix that habit? Do you not remember what happened last time when you completely shattered it?"

[Eh, that was a one time thing. I hired a construction crew to keep fixing it every time it gets broken. By the way, shouldn't you be paying attention to Cin?"

"Hn."

[I thought so.]

…

"What are you doing here?" the scorpion repeated his question.

"Well, I'm here to attempt to bring you back," she smiled, trying not to giggle as a spasm passed through the redhead's body.

Kakuzu must be keeping up the pulses.

Good.

At this he sighed, "Did no one think to check my body for the solution? I put it in my leg."

"Heh heh," she laughed sheepishly, "I thought they had already checked…oops."

"It's not like your method won't work, it's just that my way would've been much easier and with less risk on your part."

"What was your way, then?"

"I'll show you when we get out."

"Right," now she was rubbing the back of her neck, "Um…how do we do that?"

An eyebrow twitched, "You mean to tell me you don't _know_?"

"Eh heh?"

…** … … …**

The dreaded cliffhanger strikes again!

I was planning to finish the whole rescue of Sasori in one chapter, but I just kept coming up with new stuff and it kept getting longer and I couldn't resist to stop right _there_!

So please don't kill me!

Just remember, if I loose my life, I won't ever be able to finish this story, sicne I don't know how to make it so I just go into limbo instead of actually dying!

Remember, RERV!


	4. Chapter 4: Hanging On In Limbo

**Is it legal for a man living in North Carolina to be buried in South Carolina?**

Who's still up for answering? I'll be accepting responses till chapter 5!

So, Sasori and Cin have gotten stuck in limbo. How on Earth will they get back?

Read and see!

…** … … …**

She hadn't realized that Limbo had walls until Sasori walked over to it and started slamming his head against it, his image every now and then fizzing with the electricity Kakuzu was shooting through his heart.

"I-_**smack!**_-can't-_**smack!**_-believe-_**smack!**_-you-_**smack!**_-came-_**smack!**_-here-_**smack!**_-without-_**smack!**_-a-_**smack!**_-plan!"

"Well, excuse me for not having an Idiot's Guide to getting out Limbo!"

"I would've thought you at _least_ would've had done some research about it!"

"_I_ would've thought you at _least_ would've known how to get out!"

"Gah!"

...

"Kisame, how's her chakra doing?"

"It's pulling on mine stronger now," the blue man responded, "She told me she had worked it out to start tugging on me once her chakra was half-gone. Once it started pulling on mine to the point that I couldn't keep a good grip on it any more, to cut the connection."

Was that a hint of worry in the weasel's eyes? What about the rag-doll's face?

"She should've been back by now...something's wrong."

...

Something was seriously wrong, Deidara could tell.

Sure, he might not know much about bringing the dead back to life, or even getting out of Limbo, but he just knew that this was taking too long.

"Argh!" Hidan yelled as a piece of rose quartz landed on his head.

_Cindra!_

She had to be back. He ran downstairs...but her body was still empty. Itachi was leaning over it, shining a light in her eyes, an almost concerned expression on his usual impassive visage.

Kakuzu looked uneasy as well, but kept the pulse going, and Kisame had one hand on her shoulder, the other gripping his sword as though it was his teddy bear.

Not that he _had_ a teddy bear, it was just a comparison.

The blond's eyes were wide as he approached his comrades.

"What's wrong, un?" for a moment he thought no one had heard him, but then Kisame looked up at him, an almost fearful look in his eyes.

"We think she's stuck."

...

It felt like they had been there for hours.

Who knew how long she had really been in there for.

Funnily enough, her mind couldn't stop playing the Limbo song.

So...this would be how she'd spend eternity. Constantly playing a dance song in her head with a grumpy redhead smacking his brain cells out.

Not that he'd need them where they were now.

She could feel the connection she had created with Kisame growing stronger...her chakra supply was decreasing.

She had tried using the connection to pull them back to the world of the living.

Since they were still here, I bet anyone can tell that it didn't work.

"Any ideas?"

The other prisoner sighed.

"None since the last time you asked."

"Hey, a girl can dream, right?" she was leaning against the wall that wasn't there.

"If you had done better research, you wouldn't have to be dreaming of me thinking of an escape."

She just rolled her eyes, the music kept playing in her head.

It seemed to get louder as the connection felt stronger.

She was getting closer to death. Delusions were starting to run through her head.

The lights seemed to be flashing.

She had to say, this wasn't the way she'd envisioned ending her life, playing a rag-tag game of Limbo with just a stream of light as the bar.

But what else was there to do for eternity?

...

"Her pupils are dialated," Itachi noted, placing a hand on her forehead, noting the fact that her skin felt clammy and cold.

Deidara was pacing, "Isn't there anything we can do, un?"

"None of us has the chakra amount to go in after her," was the retort, "And if she and Sasori got stuck in there, then what makes you thin one of us would be able to get out?"

"What about Kisa-"

"Kisame's chakra is getting drained by the second. And none of us would be able to play lifeline for him."

"Can't Kakuzu try-"

"No. It would only keep her body alive, it wouldn't retrieve her mind."

"But Sasori-"

"Sasori's mind was tied to the jutsu, therefore it was theoretically be able to return. She's not dead yet, and any attempt to use the same method on her could either kill her faster or strand her mind forever in Limbo."

He took a deep breath and moved back from her.

"We're going to have to cut the connection."

...

"No."

The redhead was adamantly holding onto his sanity.

What was the point, anyways?

Any minute now they'd break off the connection, might as well give herself something to do for the rest of eternity.

"Can't you see the lights?"

"Yes," he grudgingly admitted.

"Isn't that light kind of horizontal?"

"Yes..."

"It's like a limbo bar. We might as well enjoy our...nonexistence."

"No."

"There's no point..."

"That's the point itself."

"That makes no sense."

"Why would it need to make sense?"

"You're insane."

"You just now noticed?"

...

"I knew there was a reason you fit in so well with the Akatsuki."

"Including yourself."

"Touché."

...

Too much time had passed. If she wasn't coming back now...she was never going to return.

"You can't do this, Itachi," the blond was furious.

"We cannot stand to loose Kisame too."

Only a slight tremor in his voice hinted at his own internal fury.

"But just a little longer-"

The weasel exploded, "She has been in there for too long already! This is not an easy decision to make, Deidara! However, we cannot stand to loose two when we can save one!"

"She's not a shinobi, un!"

"She knew the risks! She knew that taking this chance she might die. She chose to do this anyways. But she requested that if the connection grows too strong, Kisame break it. If it gets much stronger, Kisame will be dragged in afer her, and we would have disobeyed her last wishes, is that what you want? Get it through your thick skull, Deidara!"

He took a step back and turned to Kisame.

"Cut the connection."

…** … … …**

I was considering have her just pull herself out of there, but I just had to make things difficult for them.

I'm evil, I know, but then again, it's in my nom de plume.

So Cin and Sasori are going bonkers and Itachi is telling Kisame to cut the lifeline.

And Deidara is majorly P.O.d, but then again, what else is new?

So, will they escape next chapter? Or will this be how they spend the rest of the series?

I'll be in big trouble if they die, so I've got to get them out somehow.

Poor Cin, all she wanted was to go to college like a normal girl, now she's stuck in between Life and Death.

But I'll finish my rant and simply tell you to just Read, Enjoy, Review, and Vote!

RERV folks!


	5. Chapter 5: Limbo

Hey everyone, welcome to chapter 5 of _Quiet on the Campus_.

Your riddle was this: Is it legal to bury a man living in North Carolina in South Carolina?

The answer is this: Why would you want to bury him? He's still alive if he's "living" in North Carolina, so I doubt you want to be burying him!

Thank you, and enjoy the chapter!

… … … …

Kisame didn't want to do this, but he had no choice. His chakra was starting to get drained, he didn't think he could hold out much longer.

Thinking a silent apology to Cin and Sasori, he drew Samehaeda and prepared to cut the lifeline.

Then he felt a jerk on his chakra…what could it mean?

"Sasori! You made me lose the game! That wasn't very nice!"

He could hear her now…a bit more clear than if she was only in his head though.

"It's not my fault the floor was slippery!"

Cue turn to see Cin whack Sasori on the head before immediately cradling her hand.

Hey, puppet heads _hurt_! She wasn't so tough that she could just brush it off.

"Cindra," Itachi looked visibly shocked, "How did you get out?"

She broke off with her argument to realize that they were back in the real world, grinned, and turned back to Sasori.

"See! I told you playing Limbo was a good idea!"

"Well, I'm sure you can excuse me for being a little skeptical of the plan."

"Wait, un, you mean to tell us that you got out of Limbo by playing Limbo?"

The two nodded.

Itachi sighed and directed his eyes to the ceiling, "Did you _really_ think this was a good idea, Malice-san?"

[Obviously, by the fact that it happened. And don't give me that look! I wasn't the only one who thought it!]

"Nonetheless, they escaped Limbo by playing _Limbo_?"

"Not just by playing it!" Cin heard the last bit, "We lost it! Sasori hit the bar, jerked back, and caused me to land on the floor, disqualifying both of us."

"Once again, excuse me for the floor being slippery."

"You're a shinobi, you're supposed to have awesome balance!"

"I was practically dead for the last few days! I think I can be excused for a bit of clumsiness!"

"By the way, you guys didn't do a good job of searching him," this was addressed to the rest, "He had a way out hidden in his leg."

At this, Sasori detached his limb and pulled out a parchment rolled up and tossed it over to Itachi, who opened it and quickly scanned it.

"Hm, I guess that could work."

At this point, Cin's knees started to give out, "Well, you can discuss this further, but I'm going to bed. I get to put together Humpty Dumpty tomorrow, and hopefully I'll be able to accomplish what all the King's horses and all the King's men couldn't. If not, I'll be cussed out for the rest of my life."

With that, she left and the others filled Sasori in on what had happened while he was out of it.

Two down, and one to go before the Akatsuki would be complete once more.

… … … …

Well, Sasori's back after two more chapters than I had originally planned! Yay!

Hope everyone enjoyed it, and remember, RERV!

Once I get to chapter 10, I'll be putting up chapter polls for your favorite chapter, so vote now while you still can!


	6. Chapter 6: Humpty Dumpty

Who needs astrology? The wise man gets by on fortune cookies. ~Edward Abbey

Hey everyone, welcome to chapter 6 of _Quiet on the Campus_.

Thank you, and enjoy the chapter!

… … … …

Cin sighed as she cracked her neck. She just knew she'd pass out before the end of the day. She would be trying to put _Hidan_ back together, and he would trump Humpty Dumpty every time on being put back together again.

But it was worth a shot. Plus, she had two people to help her. Kakuzu and Sasori had agreed to piece the immortal back together and Kakuzu stitched most of his appendages together. All Cin had to do was make it permanent and seal everything up.

Yeah, it sounded simple, but it was anything but.

Unfortunately, it wasn't like she had much choice. Hidan was blown apart to the point that just sewing him together wouldn't be enough for him to move about and stay together.

But here it was; the final test of her training…at least as far as healing goes. Something told her that once she recovered from the healing strain, they'd test her fighting abilities.

Joy…her specialty was still escaping, and that only worked when they were at her house.

Jeez, why couldn't they have just come back after she finished school like they had _promised_.

But she digressed.

Happy thoughts, Cin, you'll need them to get through today.

She just hoped that would be enough.

…

"Glad you finally expletiveing showed up," she decided to ignore the sarcasm in his voice and the swear word. He had good reason to be pissed off. Why, if she had _her_ had severed from her body and her body blown to little pieces, _she_…no, scratch that, _she_'d be _dead_, and therefore not sarcastic or swearing at the people trying to help her.

Why was she being considerate again?

"_Expletive_."

"OW!"

"Yay! It's basalt!"

She'd think of the confusing paradox that Hidan was still able to talk, despite having his vocal cords severed later.

"Cin, stop that!"

"I suppose I should," she sighed, before grinning an evil grin that he couldn't see since her back was to him, "You don't have enough brain cells to keep losing them."

"I'll kill you!"

"No you won't. Because you can't kill me until I heal you, at which point you won't be angry anymore and will have even forgotten the reason you were mad!"

Itachi sighed at this exchange. That smart mouth of hers would get her into trouble someday. It was a surprise that she had managed to get this far without being killed by annoyed shinobi. She was lucky that they found her forthrightness amusing rather than insulting.

He just wished she'd at least _try_ to mouth off to the less volatile shinobi, but somehow he doubted that it would work. She just had no idea of how to act in dangerous situations.

Once again, they had sent Deidara and Tobi from the room, and Zetsu was still out scouting to ensure that no shinobi had followed them here and also to get them enrolled at Cin's college.

Shh, it was a secret from her. She was still under the impression that they'd leave as soon as they were all fixed up and she had recovered.

"Do you have to tell them _all_ of our secrets?"

[Oops, was I not supposed to?]

"Well, you ruined _that_ plot twist."

The others were still ignoring him. It wasn't like he had such a big role besides monitoring the healer's chakra.

[That plot twist has _been_ ruined. I think it would be kind of obvious that you weren't going anywhere since if you _did_, the story would end. Therefore, you'd have to go along as well.]

Itachi grumbled and looked down at his book.

[Oh, I nearly forgot! Itachi!]

"What?"

Insert evil Uchiha glare here. Good thing it can't come out of the screen.

[_SakuraDreamerz_ says hi!]

Cue Uchiha glare and exasperated sigh.

"So, are you ready?" Kisame asked. He was only here to hold Hidan still. It was likely that once she had reconnected the nerve endings, he might start thrashing around a bit.

He had tried to persuade her to use him as a lifeline, but she had declined.

Cin had figured that if she got too far into it, Itachi could shake her out of it without endangering her mind, unlike what it was like yesterday.

If she couldn't finish it all today, she'd go back and finish tomorrow.

"Yeah, I'm ready," she stood to walk over to Hidan, "Are you?"

"Ready and waiting."

"Then let's get started."

…

Deidara couldn't bring himself to be worried about this procedure. She knew what she was doing here, no guesswork involved.

It was just reattaching stuff, not like she hadn't done it before.

Granted, this was _Hidan_, and she'd be reattaching stuff that usually didn't need to be reattached.

The reason for this was that if you were this blown up, you wouldn't be alive to need it.

And it's kind of pointless to reconnect a dead body.

But now he was rambling.

The point was, he wasn't worried.

Not one bit.

Why would he be worried over something so simple?

No reason at all, which would be the reason he _wasn't worried_.

There was no reason to be even the slightest bit anxious.

To feel concerned was ludicrous and would imply that he had absolutely no faith in her abilities.

So no, he was not worried.

Not even apprehensive.

Not one bit…okay, who was he kidding?

It was painfully obvious that he was worried!

He knew there was no good reason to be so, but he couldn't help himself. The blond hoped that Hidan appreciated this, because Cin would be going through a lot of pain and energy to put him back together.

You know, he was feeling kind of hungry, maybe he'd better go to the kitchen to grab a bite.

_No_! It had nothing to do with the fact that the kitchen was right next to the living room where they were putting Humpty Dumpty back together again!

That was just a coincidence!

Right?

Because he, Deidara, wasn't worried to the extent that he felt he needed to check up on her…

Right?

…

"Oof!" she fell onto her rear as she finished attaching the second leg.

The reason? Well, the nerve connected a bit quicker than Kisame could move and so she was kicked in the stomach.

Not a _hard_ kick, but enough to wind her and earn Hidan a whack on the head from Kakuzu.

It was nice having shinobi to whack Hidan for her, since she didn't think she had the energy to get up and walk over to whack his head.

And if she did, she would've felt like she had to go and find his head and reattach it again.

Like what Kakuzu was doing now.

Heh-heh

But from now on, Kisame would have to hold the limbs before she reattached them. It might not hurt, but it didn't exactly _tickle_ either.

…

Hidan sighed in relief as he was finally able to get to his feet and move for the first time in what felt like infinity.

But, he promptly stumbled.

He hadn't been using his legs for a while, of course he'd be a bit unsteady on them!

Not to mention, his feet were asleep.

Joy

He looked over at where Cin had passed out. They were currently debating whether or not they should wake her up to feed her or just let her sleep.

Whatever, not his problem! He went straight for the kitchen, he was hun_gry_!

On the way, however, he walked into Deidara, who gave him a sheepish smile and suddenly sprinted back upstairs.

Weird, huh?

… … … …

So the healing arc has finished! Who's happy?

~If you're happy and you know it, please review!~

Seriously, RERV peoples! RERV!

See ya later!


	7. Chapter 7: Roses Have Thorns

Who needs astrology? The wise man gets by on fortune cookies. ~Edward Abbey

Okay, I'm going to try to answer the Anonymous questions starting now.

**Nya-chan, you've asked a pretty difficult question. Personally, I just leave my mind open to the possibilities. I listen to a bunch of music and just let my brain drift, as well as research a bunch of random stuff and ask questions. Mostly, I just let the characters direct the story. They **_**are**_** the ones who know the most as far as their lives go.**

Hey everyone, welcome to chapter 7 of _Quiet on the Campus_.

Thank you, and enjoy the chapter!

… … … …

They had left her alone all yesterday to let her recover, but today they had decided they would test her skills.

So after breakfast, Cin took it upon herself to prepare to have the stuffing beat out of her.

Not that she was going to take it lying down…but she was going up against a member of the _Akatsuki_.

It wasn't going to be easy.

…

"So, who's going to test her?" Kisame asked the Akatsuki.

It was a tough decision. But eventually they settled on a very nervous Deidara.

The Cin he remembered was very poor at this sort of things. Maybe if she spent at least _half_ of the time she spent avoiding it actually _practicing_, she'd be much better.

But even in that case, she'd still be outmatched it going up against a fully trained shinobi.

Especially an S-class criminal like all of the Akatsuki were.

He didn't know how well her healing would work on herself.

And to be honest…he didn't really want to know.

Yeah, he knows healers can usually fix themselves easily, but then again, Cin wasn't like other healers. And her power involved feeling the pain of the person who was wounded.

How would that work out?

"Hello, Cindra."

The blond flipped around to see the girl emerge from her house.

Her attire was simple enough, but ready to allow easy movement…that's not what he was staring at.

Now, what he, what the _Akatsuki_, were all staring at was her _hair_.

Her long _hair_ that was down her back in a long _braid_ with white _roses_ entwined in it.

Had the girl gone _insane_? Had she forgotten that they were preparing for a _fight_?

A mock fight, but still a _fight_!

She smiled and waved at all of them, "Hey, guys! I'm ready!"

Tobi's arm was going to fall off if he kept waving it like that.

"Cin, your hair…" the blue man attempted to warn.

"Yeah, I know," she tossed it behind her shoulder, "I thought I'd try something a little new."

"That's not-" Deidara tried to argue, but was cut off by Sasori.

"Let her make her own mistakes, Deidara. Who knows, she might've figured out a way to fight with it like that. You and that Ino girl both have managed it."

Though Deidara's eye twitched at being compared to the purple-clad Konoha shinobi, he defended himself, "Yeah, but we've been training for years. She hasn't even managed _one_ year yet!"

"Just let her try," Sasori was using his calming voice, "She might surprise you."

"Any more surprises," Deidara grumbled as she stretched out, preparing for the battle, "And I might reach the end of my warranty early."

"Get in there," he was slapped on the back, propelling him into the area they had set aside for their battle, "And _try_ not to hold back. Remember, we're all here, ready to step in if necessary."

Blue eyes rolled, but he found his hands reaching for his clay pockets, tossing them at Hidan, nearly knocking his head off, "Let's just fight hand-to-hand."

"Fine with me," amber eyes twinkled as she handed over her katana and bow and arrows, "Are knives considered hand-to-hand, though?"

"Yeah, un."

"Then let's get started."

(Itachi! _Jestie Uchiha_ says hi!)

"Ugh. Why _now_?"

The start was now delayed while Itachi talked to what everyone else considered to be his imaginary friend.

"You are not my friend."

[Anyways, she's not the only one. Here, read this aloud to Hidan.]

Itachi sighed, "Hidan, I'm giving you a message from one _daleksuperfan_."

Hidan asked, "Who's that?"

"A reader," Itachi sighed again, "I can't believe you're making me do this? ' Hidan i think you're an expletiveing expletive that needs to expletiveing to expletive expletiveing expletived expletive, ... oh and I'm trying to make plushies you want one maybe a Kakuzu one so you can call it Kaku-chan and those other 'things' I know you dream of~'"

Hidan spat out the water he was drinking, "What?"

[Good job, Itachi!]

"I hate you, Malice-san."

[That means I'm doing my job correctly!]

"Either that, or you want me to figure a way to get out of this fiction and strangle you."

[…let's go with the first option.]

And the fight finally begins!

…

Deidara was smirking a bit, watching the braid as she dodged his blades.

There was a way to finish this quickly, a way where he could avoid many injuries that he might accidentally (okay, since he's fighting for real, they'd be purposeful) inflict.

And it was something he had done before.

All he had to do was give a good yank on that hair, and he'd win.

She really should've have either cut her hair, or kept it up out of the way.

Now she'd end up paying the price.

He managed to get behind her and reached out a hand towards where a particularly large blossom was.

"Ow!" Deidara whipped his hand away from her braid, "What the-"

She was grinning as she gave a twist and her braid flipped away from his hand, leaving a large red mark that looked deep.

She caught the end, and fingered a flower, moving aside the petals to reveal the sheen of metal.

"Like it, Dei? I decided to put spikes in my hair in the event that you tried to use it against me."

"Don't call me Dei, un," was all that he could say.

He had to admit, that was a pretty good solution. Anyone who thought to use her long tresses against her would be in for a huge wake-up call.

"Why'd you do something _expletiving_ stupid as that?"

The fighters paused for a moment and stared at him, questioning how he couldn't see the advantage of this situation.

"_Expletive_."

"Ow!"

"Wow, it's unobtainium! I can't wait to do something with _this_!"

Itachi sighed (he'll break his sigh-box if he keeps this up), "Malice, is it not enough to break the fourth wall without breaking into alternate universes?"

[Nope. Besides, unobtainium isn't exactly exclusive to _Avatar_. Who knows, she could just be giving a Greek mythology reference?]

"You don't know if she is?"

[Oh look! They're fighting again!]

Indeed, the two fighters were once again competing, this time Deidara doing his best to avoid the stinging bite of her braid that she was not afraid to use.

She had a few nicks on herself from where some of the bigger spikes had accidentally brushed her, but her eyes showed only brutal determination.

It was then that Deidara _knew_ that she _had_ practiced, and while she might not be as good as him…she was _not_ going to be a pushover.

…

Yeah, since I stink at fight scenes, we're just going to once again skip through this. Suffice it to say that it involved a lot of dodging and striking out with blades and the braid jerking about.

Eventually, the fight ended when one of the two keeled over.

"Oh shoot, I forgot about the poison!" Cin cried out, reaching into her pockets to attempt to find the antidote.

"You dipped the spikes in poison?" Deidara's eyes bugged out.

The rest of the Akatsuki couldn't help but laugh.

"Yes, I figured that people pulling on my braid in battle would probably be trying to kill me and so devised something to help me out. I'm so _STUPID_! I can't believe I didn't think about creating a second spiked-strap for friendly battles…shoot, I forgot the antidote in the house!"

She yanked off a glove and grabbed the hand with the initial and deepest wound, "This is going to sting a little Dei."

"So this poison's going to kill him?" Kakuzu asked.

Was it just Deidara's imagination, or did he seem the slightest bit _happy_?

"No, just incapacitate him for a couple of days. However, since he's only _just_ recovered use of his arms, it's best to avoid it sinking into his bloodstream and spare him the next painful set of days."

She was focused completely on the healing, but that didn't stop her from responding to Hidan's muttered swear.

"_Expletive_. If it's another block of unobtainium, I call it, Kakuzu, so get your mitts off of it."

Now it was the ragdoll who swore.

"Sasori, can you run into my house and get the antidote? It's in a green vial. I'd do it myself, but all of my energy is kind of focused on pulling the poison away from his brain."

The redhead was gone in a flash.

Kisame was leaning over the blond, a grin on his sharky face, "So, Deidara, how does it feel to nearly die from a hair ornament?"

The blond made a face.

The blond grumbled something that Cin wouldn't have approved of if she was able to hear it was him.

As it was, she just assumed it was the usual culprit.

"_Expletive_."

"Cin!"

… … … …

The spikes in the braid was an idea that I had taken from Tamora Pierce's _Beka Cooper_ series. The main character (Beka, of course) has a long braid, and also puts a spiked strap into her hair when she's on duty. But the poison was my personal touch.

[So you pulled in something _else_ from another universe?]

Why yes, Itachi, I did. Kind of surprising that you showed up for the Author's Note, though. Usually you avoid it like the plague.

[And I wish I had avoided this one.]

The unobtainium was specially requested by _JLWafflezMan_, as well as the reference to _Avatar_. However, unobtainium doesn't only appear in the _Avatar_ universe. From my research, it's also found in other sci-fi universes, and also changes qualities depending on what people need it for.

Cool, right?

[Just wrap it up already. I am tired.]

You're not the only one. Okay, people, you know the drill.

RERV, and I'll do my best to update ASAP!


	8. Chapter 8:  The Truth

Who needs astrology? The wise man gets by on fortune cookies. ~Edward Abbey

Hey everyone, welcome to chapter 8 of _Quiet on the Campus_.

Thank you, and enjoy the chapter!

… … … …

Itachi came stomping out of the Review area. He looked up at the readers and glared, singling out one called _GEMfaerie_.

"That will never happen."

[So you're going to be good? Wonderful!]

"Not necessarily, I just know that you do not have the ability to do that. You would get embarrassed before you even started."

[So good threat, wrong person?]

"Pretty much."

[Well then, how about _this_ for threats? Another reader, _authorchik039_ wants me to tell you that both "the fangirls AND fanBOYS r watchin him at the very moment waitin for the moment he can feel the love!"]

His onyx eyes grew wide and he shuddered, deciding it would be best just to walk away and hope they'd stop focusing on him…oh look! Here comes Cin!

[Itachi, tell Cin that _daleksuperfan_ thinks her spiked braid "looks cute…and deadly"]

The Uchiha sighed before acquiescing.

She looked puzzled, confusion in her amber orbs, "That's one of the readers you say are watching us, isn't it?"

Sighing (huh, I thought we had broken the sigh-box already. Guess not!), he nodded.

She hesitated for a moment. Did she believe him, or was she about to suggest he see a psychiatrist?

Then suddenly she grinned, tilting her head up to the sky.

"Thank you!" she called out, waving up at the area the readers supposedly dwelt.

Itachi was shocked.

"You believe me?"

She tilted her head, confused at what he was asking.

"Do you believe that there are fangirls or fanboys reading this?"

She just shrugged.

"I don't know," she said, "But just because I don't necessarily believe, doesn't mean I can be rude about it!"

Good ol' Cin with her misplaced priorities. Gotta love her!

…

"So, when are you guys going home?" Cin asked, smiling at them as she sat back in her chair, the rest of the Akatsuki scattered across the room.

Tobi and Deidara were sprawled out on the floor, but Sasori, Itachi, and Kisame were sitting on the couch. Hidan was spread out on the smaller couch, and Kakuzu was in her second chair.

"In a few days," Itachi responded, speaking carefully. This was going to be the difficult part.

"Wow, what a coincidence," was the perky response, "That's when I'm leaving here too! Where are you guys going next?"

"Your college."

Was it just their tense imaginations or was her smile seeming a bit strained, almost as though she started to see through their attempts at keeping it a secret.

"Guys, I shouldn't have problems with people trying to kill me there. There's no need for you to set up precautions…"

"That's not it, un," Deidara interrupted, "We're going to your college to learn."

_Silence_

The girl burst out laughing, "Good one, Dei! You almost had me going!"

"Don't call me Dei, un!"

Was her laughter a bit forced?

"Funny joke, guys! But there's no way…"

"We are not joking."

His cold voice cut through her mirth in a heartbeat, killing the gleeful chuckles in midair.

"Pein has ordered us to attend your college with you, Cindra, whether you like it or not."

And here's the moment everyone has been expecting, where Cin does what she does best.

_Thump!_

… … … …

Sorry, shorter chapter, but I just _love_ ending it with a _Thump!_, don't you?

When the going gets tough, Cin starts fainting.

Maybe she should see a doctor about these fainting spells, or at the very least carry around some smelling salts or something.

At any rate, hope you enjoyed this chapter, and remember!

_**RERV!**_


	9. Chapter 9: Settle

Who needs astrology? The wise man gets by on fortune cookies. ~Edward Abbey

Hey everyone, welcome to chapter 9 of _Quiet on the Campus_.

Thank you, and enjoy the chapter!

… … … …

The first thing she heard as she swam back to consciousness was the sweet melody of dissension.

Itachi noticed her eyes flicker before anyone else.

"You really need to do something about that fainting problem of yours."

"I don't have a fainting problem," was the retort that let everyone know she had regained consciousness.

"Oh really?" he questioned, "You've fainted quite often, especially recently."

"Healing takes a lot out of me," she accepted a glass of water from Kisame, "Thank you."

"You fainted the moment we arrived," the Uchiha pointed out, "I sincerely doubt that you had done a large-scale healing moments before."

"I hadn't eaten that afternoon."

"You never miss a meal."

"I wasn't hungry at lunch."

"Nonetheless, I would suggest that you really do something about these fainting spells, perhaps figure out what is causing them."

She mumbled, "They only happen when you guys do something shocking, such as showing up at a college where I am supposed to spend the next four years _without_ you. Speaking of which, why are you coming along?"

"The author won't have a story unless we do."

The girl was reaching the end of her patience, "Right, does anyone want to tell me the _real_ reason why you are here?"

[Haha! She doesn't believe you!]

"Shut up."

"No one even said anything, un."

"Not you, the author."

"Oh, yes," she was starting to get a bit hysterical, "Blame the invisible author that doesn't exist!"

[Hey, I represent that remark! Oops, I mean resent!]

"Sure you do," he muttered, causing the girl to glare at him.

"If you ask me, _you_'re the one that needs the doctor here, Itachi, not me! Now why exactly are you all going to college with me?"

She yelled that last part.

"Because Konoha might send agents too."

"So you trust me so little as to think I'll sell out to the enemy at the first kind word?"

"No, it's not that, un!" Deidara tried to intervene to save the situation.

"Then what is _it_?" she growled.

"They might try to abduct you," Kisame cut in.

"And you being there is supposed to stop that? Wouldn't they just attack you and get it over with? I can hardly believe you wouldn't expect a fight with your names being as famous as they are!"

"All shinobi, exiles or not, have a pact to ensure the outside world knows nothing of our existence," the Uchiha continued.

"So the first rule about the Shinobi World is not to talk about Shinobi World?"

"In essence. However, that does not change the fact that they might attempt to take you by force."

"But wouldn't that go against their whole 'good-guy' complex?"

"Konoha has a belief that what they are doing is right," Sasori spoke, "They _are_ the self-proclaimed 'good-guys'. As such, they wouldn't see it as abducting you, they would instead see it as a rescue of a naïve outsider who got brainwashed by the ruthless Akatsuki. And those who think differently, well, they'd be loyal enough to the village that if Konoha wanted you, they'd bring you back, whether you like it or not. We just hope that us being there will be enough to dissuade them a bit, since they'd have to break the pact in order to get you out."

Cin groaned, leaning back in her chair, "So in other words, I'm stuck with all of you?"

"Yes."

"Urgh," she moaned, brushing an auburn strand out of her eyes, "How'd you guys even get in, anyways?"

"To your house?" Kakuzu questioned.

"To my college, duh. The deadline for applying was back in January."

"Money and words," Itachi responded, "But mostly _words_."

[What? So what if it's a bit unrealistic, get off my back about it Itachi! If I hadn't done that, then you wouldn't have been able to follow Leader's orders!]

"Orders that you gave him," Itachi responded, ignoring the collective groans from the others at his breaking of the fourth wall (not that they knew it).

[Touché. However, the fact remains that you're going to college, deal with it.]

"You leave me no other choice."

"So there's nothing I can do to get you guys to change your mind?" Cin asked the others.

"Unless you can persuade Leader-sama from miles away, nope," Hidan shrugged, and she facepalmed.

"It was a rhetorical question, Hidan. Anyways, I've got to get back to packing, and I suggest you guys get ready too. The day orientation starts is approaching, and you'd rather not get caught unprepared."

… … … …

Eh! I'm so busy that I was surprised I was able to get this up!

Hope you enjoyed this chapter, and remember!

_**RERV!**_


	10. Chapter 10: Orientation Begins

Who needs astrology? The wise man gets by on fortune cookies. ~Edward Abbey

Hey everyone, welcome to chapter 10 of _Quiet on the Campus_. _Cue the fireworks and confetti, unless you live in a state where fireworks are illegal, in which case it's too bad for you!_

As for N3m0zCh4n's question (sorry it didn't get answered early), well, I'll answer it as best as I can:

**Because I wouldn't have a story without it. Also, they're not entirely sure that the other shinobi won't accept the fact that she **_**chose**_** to stay with the Akatsuki. Therefore, she might be "kidnapped". And I'll do my best to lengthen chapters, though no guarantees. And as for the other characters, well, we'll see.**

Thank you, and enjoy the chapter!

… … … …

Cin took in a deep breath of air, taking in the fresh air with the sweet sun shining down on her in a stereotypical movie moment where the shy geeky girl goes off to become totally popular at college.

"Cin, why don't you carry your own _expletive_ing stuff?"

Moment ruined.

She sighed, "_Expletive_."

"Ow!"

"Cindra, perhaps you should stop doing that? People might get suspicious."

"Nah, they'll come up with their own explanations."

"Why _are_ we carrying your stuff, anyways?" Kakuzu grumbled, still not having gotten over the amount of money it would take to enroll the whole Akatsuki in college at such a late date (despite the…words used to get them in).

"Because you were the ones who insisted you wanted to come, _despite_ my objections," she was still angry, "And also you are all stronger than me, and since due to your stupid war, I no longer have an older brother to do this for me, it's your job now."

"_You_ were the one who chose-"

"Shut up, Deidara."

The venom in her voice made even the foolhardy bomber stop short and continue following her silently up to her dorm room where she could see that her roommate hadn't arrived yet.

"Put the stuff over there," she directed, and then had Kisame help her to set up her refrigerator up before shooing the boys out of her room, telling them to go find their dorm now.

A few minutes later, she emerged from her room upon hearing loud voices from the next hall over.

Though she mentally begged that it wasn't what she thought it was, she was proved right.

Okay, what girl doesn't want to be protected? She gets that. But getting the hall _right __**next **__**to HER**_ was definitely pushing it.

The only bright side she could see in all of this was the fact that all halls would be going through Orientation separately.

Well, that, and the fact that the Akatsuki were all paired up with their partners, so there'd be no poor innocent college boys (that just sounds funny putting it like that) would be scarred from the terror of having, say, Hidan for a roommate.

"I must agree with you on that account."

[I thought you were on the other hall.]

"I can still hear you, remember?"

[People are going to give you funny looks…]

"I am in my dorm room. With the cell phone Cin suggested I get to my ear. You will need a different excuse this time."

[Shoot. That girl's too nice sometimes.]

"That, I will attest to."

Anyways, ignoring the side dialogue with the fourth-wall-breaking-character, we shall return to the main character, who is currently turning to greet her new roommate who has just entered the room.

"Um…h-h-hello?"

… … … …

So, obviously Orientation is much more than what I'll write, but because of it and my lack of time, I'm not going to go into all of it, so the next time you see them (after Cin's roommate is announced) will be around when classes start.

So, any guesses as to who it is? Of course, I could be messing around and it not even be from Naruto-world at all! In fact, I don't think I've even designated a roomie yet!

Anyways, I'll update as soon as I can, but no guarantees as to when.

_**RERV!**_


	11. Chapter 11:  Orientation Continued

_**If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.**__**—Catherine the Great**_

According to _JLWafflezMan_, Itachi's broken the wall about 35 times! Give it up for everyone's favorite Uchiha (especially since Sasuke went off the deep end).

I'm not going to dwell too much on orientation since I don't quite know how to explain it, so I'll introduce her roomie and then cut to the first frat party.

I was pleased to get so much feedback on the subject of the roomie, everything from Hinata, Sakura, Karin, some random OC, and myself.

As an attempt to be unpredictable, if they're a Naruto character, I shan't be saying which one they are.

At least, not yet.

As to questions asked, here we go!

Answering _Miss Eri-chan_

**No, there's no specific time, though I do seem to update a lot in the evening since I actually have time then.**

Hope that clears things up a bit.

But let's get started!

…

"Um…h-h-hello?" Cin turned to greet her roommate, holding out a hand, "My name's Cindra Laeh. Would you be Akiko Hashimoto?"

"Yes," the blonde girl smiled, entering the room to dump her stuff on a bed, "It's nice o meet you, Cindra."

"Please, call me Cin."

Blue eyes crinkled in a smile, "Okay!"

…

"Okay, line up boys and girls!"

Cin was about ready to die. As luck would have it, their OAs (Orientation Aides) were friends with the next hall over and so were planning to do stuff together.

So now the Akatsuki were sitting around her, completely blocking her off from the rest of her hall (except Akiko who had somehow charmed her way into allowing the boys to let her sit next to her roomie).

Thanks guys, she really appreciates it.

The OAs left the room.

[Hey, Itachi!]

The Uchiha sighed and pulled out the cellphone, "Hello?"

_[JLWafflezMan_ says to tell you "Hhhnnnnnn. hhhnnn. hn. hnn. hnnnn!"]

The weasel winced, "You have a terrible accent."

[Hey, give me a break, I don't know what I'm saying!]

"I hope you do not expect me to tell you."

[Aw, come on!]

"Hn."

[Fine, your cousin, _UchihaMiyoki_ says to tell you hello]

"Hello, Miyoki-san," he groaned, "Is there anything else you feel the need to bother me with?"

[Nope, I think I'm good!]

"Hn," he hung up without another word.

[Well that was mean.]

He pointedly ignored me.

…

And, since I forget most of my orientation experience due to being very tired from getting dragged about all day, we shall skip to the weekend when Cin's new friend, Akiko had gotten her and some other girls on the hall invites to a fraternity party.

Walking down the street, Cin did her best to ignore the fact that the Akatsuki were sneaking along behind them.

They didn't know exactly where they were going, though, since the girls had decided it while hanging out in one of the rooms without listening devices and while the Akatsuki were doing a hall event somewhere else on campus.

If they had the slightest clue where they were going before now, Cin would've been locked in the library studying.

But she persisted in ignoring them, only going for one reason to the party.

Free highlighters.

Yeah, it sounded so silly and ridiculous, but that was the only reason they were going to the party.

They'd go, dance a bit, grab some highlighters, and get out of there.

And no one would be hurt.

…

Deidara was shocked as he saw the girls flash their IDs at the door and enter the building where flashing lights were coming through the windows.

They were going to a _frat_ party? How could these girls take the innocent healer to a party full of drunken college students?

He tried to hide his horrified expression. He was a shinobi, he had seen worse things.

But why did this situation fill him with such dread?

…

How could this be considered fun? They were all packed in there like sardines, and any attempt to move meant pushing by someone else. Some people had cups, and everyone was dancing.

Well, almost everyone.

The girls Cin came with were busy picking up the pens while they were dancing and stuffing them into their pockets.

Though the lights were flashing on and off, Deidara could see a faint look of being uncomfortable on her face. He wasn't surprised, this didn't look like her kind of place.

But after a bit, she started smiling and dancing with her friends.

Oblivious as always, she didn't notice the looks she was receiving from the boys at the party.

And Deidara didn't like it.

He glanced to the side and saw the Akatsuki each bearing a red cup and drinking. Tobi was cheerfully offering him one as well.

What the hell.

He grabbed the beverage and swallowed it in one large gulp.

The buzz he felt from just that one drink was enough to relax him a bit.

Suddenly, this party didn't seem like it might be so bad.

None of the Akatsuki saw the girls decide to leave, their pockets full of the colorful highlighters.

…

Cin was relieved to leave the party, and she could tell she wasn't the only one.

It smelled like cheap bear and B.O. in there, she felt really icky, but was happy to be able to breathe clearly as cold air flowed around her.

The silence seemed almost overpowering, but was so calming on her poor abused eardrums that she welcomed it.

She noticed that her shadows had disappeared, and assumed that they had gotten bored and had done the smart thing to go back to sleep so they could be somewhat-functional the next day, even though it being a weekend meant they could sleep the day away if they wished.

Man, she was sle-ee-py!

…

Some of you might be able to predict what'll happen in the next chapter, some of you won't.

All of you will just have to wait and see, though!

Hope you enjoyed!

RER!


	12. Chapter 12: Hangover

Hey, people! I found an **AWESOME** riddle! Remember, looking it up is considered cheating!

With pointed fangs it sits in wait,  
>With piercing force its doles out fate,<br>Over bloodless victims proclaiming its might,  
>Eternally joining in a single bite.<br>What am I?

So, any ideas? You know the drill (at least, by now, I hope you do).

In the meantime, we shall get on with the story.

I don't own any Naruto characters that may appear with or without my noticing.

Also, this little idea was given to me back when I was writing _Quiet on the Golf Course_ by _JLWafflezMan_, so you've got him to thank for this!

…

Cin had been looking forward to sleeping in the next day. Yeah, she was usually a morning person, but having stayed up late the night before wandering around with her hallmates, she was feeling happy that the next day was a Saturday, and as such, she could sleep in as late as she wanted.

As you can probably guess, this was not to be.

Knocking on the door woke her from a light sleep (her consciousness was very close to the surface at this time as now was when she usually was waking up at). A look at her roommate told her that Akiko was nowhere near being awake, and that she was completely swaddled in blankets to the point that all Cin could see was the tip of a tanned nose and a bit of a shock of bright blonde hair.

So much for hoping to pretend she was asleep and let the roomie take care of it.

But she wasn't giving up just yet.

Maybe if she didn't answer they'd go away.

Yes, _they_, she had no doubt in her mind who was waiting at the door.

Everyone had been out last night, so everyone would be sleeping in, and any administration people would know this and so not bother to contact the college students.

So it _had_ to be the Akatsuki.

_**Just**_ what she needed to start off her morning.

The knocking was getting louder.

At this rate, they'd wake up everyone around them; she could even hear them calling her name through the door.

Well, she should probably answer before they broke the door down.

Sighing, she reached her arms above her head to stretch, before groaning as her feet touched the ice-cold floor.

This had _better_ be important.

…

Kisame groaned as he pressed her head against the cool wall.

Maybe he shouldn't have had those last ten drinks.

His only consolation was that he wasn't the only one in this situation, though it irritated him that Itachi and Sasori were seemingly unaffected by their pain.

Only one thought was in their heads as they all woke up.

"What was I _thinking_?"

…

Cin opened the door to see bedraggled Akatsuki members with bloodshot eyes, looking like they had been…actually, there's no metaphor that can accurately describe how bad they looked.

Before they could open their mouths, Cin made her choice.

"No."

She shut the door quickly before it sunk in to their shrieking brains.

A cacophony of noise started up, making her wince and pray that her new friends were all heavy sleepers.

Wishful thinking.

Akiko snapped awake when the noise got louder, tried to get up and ended falling out of her bed onto the floor with her sheets tangled around her legs.

Now her cell phone was ringing persistently.

Quickly, she switched it to vibrate.

But it didn't seem to deter them.

Akiko didn't seem too happy, her blue eyes flashing angrily.

Cin sighed, looks like she'd have to face the music.

Pulling the door open a bit, she hissed at them, "Is there a particular _reason_ you insist on waking everyone up?"

"Our heads _expletiving_ hurt!"

"_Expletive_," she hissed, "And _whose_ fault is that?"

"You shouldn't have gone to that party, un!"

"You didn't _have_ to follow me! And you certainly didn't _have_ to drink yourself into a hangover! And _why_ are you even coming to me?"

"You obviously know why, or you wouldn't have slammed the door so quickly."

Normally, Kakuzu would be sober, but the booze was free, so he indulged.

His stitches were now aching.

Perhaps I should mention that some of the…odder appearing Akatsuki were in their henges for appearing at college, something like they wore for going to Disney World and Sea World in the previous series.

So therefore, girls peering from their rooms just saw a bunch of good-looking college boys and not monsters…except for the bloodshot eyes, those were kind of scary.

So therefore, Kakuzu's stitches, while aching, were nowhere in sight.

Just saying.

"Will you quit blabbing?"

[Hey, I'm just setting the mood. I thought you were sleeping in.]

"I was trying to; however, Kisame with a hangover is like a bull elephant let loose in a china shop. Just tell Cin to fix them up so we can go back to sleep."

[Um…well, about that…]

…

By this point, she had grabbed Hidan by the ear and was leading the Akatsuki to the woods behind the dorm, not even thinking about the fact that they were all clad only in pajamas, nor the fact that she wasn't wearing shoes.

She was just too angry; otherwise she might've picked a different target, knowing all too well that Hidan's head has come off numerous times before.

"And _what_ pray tell, makes you think that _I_ can get rid of your hangovers?" she hissed angrily, reminding them all of a cat that had been splashed by a deluge of water.

"Uh, _healer_?" Kisame thought it was quite obvious, and Kakuzu, Hidan, Deidara, and Zetsu (Itachi was trying to go back to sleep and was too cool to get drunk, Sasori's got a puppet body, he couldn't get drunk if he tried, and who knew where Tobi was?) nodded, backing him up, before wincing in the pain that such a simple gesture caused.

"From what I understand," her frigid tone could make even Hell freeze over (_Ow!)_, "_Tsunade_, a healer of great renown, can't make a hangover go away, so what gives you the slightest _thought_ that I, an _untrained_ _beginner_ can accomplish that?"

"Because you have the potential to be better than Tsunade, un?" Deidara hoped that appealing to her vanity would work.

She turned her amber glare on him.

Guess that plan failed.

"Do you even _think_ this stuff through?" her voice was starting to rise again, and the Akatsuki flinched away, holding their poor abused craniums tenderly, "Did you even consider the _consequences_ of what might happen if I mess around with your heads? I'm not brain surgeon! If something goes wrong, I could completely end up frying what's left of your brains!"

They tried to think about what she was saying, they really did, but it was kind of difficult when it felt like the whole college marching band was playing on the inside of their heads.

Kakuzu was astonished to feel himself on the verge of begging her to try; at least if his brain was fried the pain would stop.

Usually, he'd be the person on the sidelines, quietly snickering at the others' misfortune and taking pictures of the groveling that would occur for peace and quiet or (as in this case only) for relief from the dreaded pain.

He decided that he didn't like having the shoe on the other foot.

Curse you, free beer!

But no, he'd stay strong…

"Please! I'm begging you! Fix this mess! At least if you fry our brains we won't be able to feel the pain!" a whining voice rang out.

It took the ragdoll a while to realize that it was he that spoke, and was currently on his knees begging.

All he knew what that if he heard the slightest snippet of a laugh from the immortal, he would tear him apart and bury him again, and this time, he most certainly would _not_ dig him up again.

Luckily, he seemed too engaged in his own problems to notice his partner's extreme pansy behavior.

Fortunately, it seemed to be the case for all of them.

Small blessings, hey?

Cin seemed a little taken aback by that "Is it really _that_ bad?"

If the pain was so terrible that he was practically _asking_ her to fry his brain, then she planned on staying far away from being intoxicated.

It didn't sound like the aftereffects were worth it at all.

"I think I can numb the pain, at least," she couldn't believe she was even considering how to do this.

She got their attention immediately with those few words, and she quickly backtracked.

"I'm not saying I can get rid of it, or that I _would_ be able to numb the pain. I think I could at least _try_ though, and have a…_reasonable_ chance of success."

They were looking at her with such hope in their eyes that she had to stop for a second to recall that these were trained _assassins_.

Note to self, stay far far _far_ away from the liquor.

"The thing is," she spoke, trying to calm them down, "I've been studying the scrolls and books Itachi found about my family, and it seems that every time I use my power on a person, they become more immune to it, so I don't know how many times I'll be able to do it. But on the bright side, since I won't be _fixing_ the problem, I should be able to avoid the side-effects that come with healing."

The Akatsuki suddenly felt embarrassed.

They hadn't even thought about the effects healing hangovers would have on the girl. Add the effects of just _using_ her power to the sheer force of the hangovers and she'd possibly pass out from the sheer pain of it all.

They didn't _mean_ to not consider the downsides for her; they just wanted the pain to go away.

Was this so bad?

She saw their embarrassment turn back to hope, and knew that she couldn't refuse them.

"Sit down," she sighed, rolling up the sleeves of her long-sleeved T-shirt, "Let's get started."

…

It was a good thing there were no classes that day.

She felt like she could sleep the day away, but also there was a gnawing hunger that was driving her insane.

Before she'd be able to sleep, she'd have to head over to the cafeteria and demolish a few plates of breakfast. Fortunately not nearly as much as she would if she had to actually _heal_ someone, but enough that it would seem more like the breakfast of a football player mid-season.

Sighing, she sat back on her heals, surveying the peace her efforts had brought.

She had taken a thin layer of her chakra and partially blocked the pain receptors in their heads. The film would deteriorate throughout the day, but hopefully before it was gone, the hangovers would be all but gone.

She cracked her neck once before drawing the boys' attention to her.

"Okay, listen up boys. This isn't permanent, and it's slightly messy. With your pain receptors partially blocked, you'll need to be more aware of your surroundings. It'll be easier for you to get hurt and not realize it. For example, if you were to accidentally put your hand on a hot stove, you'd not be able to feel it."

They nodded, recognizing the danger of such a jutsu.

"I've only got one set of those in me for a day, and any attempt to redo it on your receptors without giving them a good rest could end up destroying them for good. Stay away from loud noises; they could destroy the whole thing. It's very fragile."

The Akatsuki nodded gratefully and turned to head back to the dorms, only to see a perky boy running towards them.

"TOBI'S COMING!" he screamed, and the Akatsuki nearly cried as the pain came rushing back.

She almost laughed at their expressions, but that could be considered cruel, so she simply hurried back to the dorm, allowing the Akatsuki to beat up their fellow member in peace.

…

"What was that all about?" Akiko asked from where she was reading a textbook over behind the bed. She insisted on being far away and blocked from the other when either was changing, so she also had her blanket up as a sort-of tent over her head.

"Oh," Cin realized that she'd have to make a good excuse for this.

Well, the best lies have some grain of truth in them, after all.

"My friends went out and got wasted last night. I've got a pretty good recipe that helps relieve hangovers so long as the victims are kept in quiet areas, so they wanted me to make it for them. Unfortunately, Tobi came along and ruined all my hard work."

The other girl snickered under the covers, "That stinks!"

"Yeah, it does," Cin responded, "You ready for breakfast? I'm starving!"

"Me too!" Akiko cheered, leaping up from under her make-shift fort, "Let's eat!"

…

I hope this helped satisfy everyone who was asking for longer chapters. Like you, I wish every chapter could be this long, but sometimes the reasonable end to the chapter isn't as far along as this one was.

Also, sorry if I got the descriptions of the hangovers wrong. Having never had one myself before (or been around someone having one before), I am forced to rely on stuff I've read/heard.

Knock on wood that I avoid that pain.

Hope everyone enjoyed the hung-over Akatsuki.

Remember! RER!


	13. Chapter 13: Murphy's Law

With pointed fangs it sits in wait,  
>With piercing force its doles out fate,<br>Over bloodless victims proclaiming its might,  
>Eternally joining in a single bite.<br>What am I?

Please say what you think, and if you've figured it out (or looked it up) then don't tell anyone!

Please enjoy, remembering I don't own Naruto.

Thank you.

…

[Hey, Itachi!]

Sighing, the Uchiha looked away from where he was watching Kisame be tortured by his aching head.

"Hn."

[_Annibellee_ wants to tell you she said "HI! 8D LOL"]

The weasel just sighed.

"Why do you do this to me, Malice-san?"

[I need a reason?]

"Shut up, please."

"'Tachi! Please be quiet!" Kisame whined.

The weasel's eyebrow twitched at the shortening of his name, and shot a particularly evil glare at the fish-man.

Such was the strength of the hangover that the larger man didn't notice.

…

** - - An Interrupted Transmission - - **

_Tsunade, are you there?_

What is it, Christopher?

_Urgh, I hate that name! Why'd you have to choose that for a code name?_

Just shut up and report, shinobi!

_Fine. Apparently Cindra has the ability to take care of hangovers._

…

_Tsunade?_

You're not lying to me?

_No…_

…

_You still there?_

BRING HER BACK OR ELSE!

** - - Transmission Signal Lost - - **

Cin shivered in that way people say means someone just walked over your grave before giving a quick sneeze.

Rubbing her nose, she prayed that she wasn't coming down with something before laughing at herself.

Could the healer really get sick so easily?

…

Stupid Murphy's Law.

Stupid her for jinxing herself.

Apparently healing was ineffective against the greatest foe humankind has.

Yeah, that's right, the common cold, the cursed thing.

Snapping a mask over her face and enclosing her hands in gloves, she prepared for class.

Yeah, she knew the best thing would be to stay home, but if she did, then she wouldn't be able to keep up with her classes. It stunk that the whole education system was set up like that, especially since it was that way ever since high school.

Just one day of missed classes could leave you far far _far_ behind.

It just wasn't fair.

But then again, who said life was fair?

Sighing, she left the dorm, trying to ignore the strange looks she received with the dust mask over her face.

Yeah, laugh all you want, but you should be thanking her for doing her best to avoid getting everyone else sick.

It was way too early in the year to get behind.

…

Deidara held his still-aching head in his hands, mentally cursing Tobi with every word he knew.

Because that _idiot_ had messed up the jutsu, they had ended up with an even _longer_ sentence of hangover-time.

And, of course, there was nothing Cin could do about it, though part of him doubted she tried overly hard, thinking that it served them right for going to get wasted anyways.

He had given up on trying to explain to her that it was _her_ fault for going to that party. She just didn't see the logic behind his words.

Why, he couldn't tell. It seemed pretty obvious to him and the others.

He flinched as his professor's voice rose again, and once again cursed Tobi for giving them a week-long hangover.

He just prayed that Pein would never find out.

He didn't want to deal with the lecture that would accompany it.

…

Stupid Murphy's law.

…

Yeah, sorry everyone about the long stretch of time before updating. I'm guessing that since I'm not reading for fun so much any more due to a lack of time, I'm getting a block on my creative juices.

However, I've got a little idea that I can work with for now, and I have another idea for further down the road that you'll just have to wait for!

However, in the meantime, just RER!

And answer the riddle if you haven't found the answer yet!

(Also, sorry for it being so short)


	14. Chapter 14: Mission

With pointed fangs it sits in wait,

With piercing force it doles out fate,

Over bloodless victims proclaiming its might,

Eternally joining in a single bite.

What am I?

If you don't have it right, yet, you've still got some time to figure it out!

But in the meantime, you get a new chapter!

Yay!

But I warn you, you might feel angry with me about…hm, midway through?

Read at your own risk!

And remember, REVIEW!

…

[Hey, Itachi, I've got some news for you about the outside world!]

The Uchiha looked up, "Why do I care?"

[Well, first off, _JLWafflezMan_ says that he has a way to solve your "Fourth wall breaking problem".]

To give him credit, the Uchiha actually looked interested.

"Do tell?"

[He didn't tell me, though. You'll just have to take it up with him!]

He growled under his breath.

[And _authorchik039_ wants me to tell you that she said, "i want nothin' more than to scream the barney song to u while you hav' ur hangover just remember my last threat...↲"]

His eye twitched.

"I am not having a hangover."

[I could always fix that!]

The weasel scowled and tried to ignore me.

[Oi! I'm not done yet! There's one more thing I need to tell you!]

"Not interested."

[It has to do with a fanfic about you guys that I'm collaborating with _SakuraDreamerz_ on.]

_That_ regained his attention.

"You can_not_ be serious."

[Oh, but I am. You can check it out for yourself if you want.]

"Why would I_ want_ to know what you are planning?"

[Being prepared? Isn't that an Akatsuki thing?]

"We are _hardly_ the Boy Scouts. And in the interest of keeping my sanity, I would have to say that I must decline."

[Some would disagree with you about that.]

"And I do not care about those people."

"Itachi, I would be happy if you would actually _listen_ when I'm speaking to you."

The weasel glared up at the ceiling, promising that this conversation was _not_ over before turning to look at their Leader.

Much to the Akatsuki's disgruntlement, they had been called out by Pein and Konan to fufill another mission.

And the hangovers were very much still there.

"Why don't you have this problem, un?" Deidara grumbled at Tobi as they were preparing to leave, "You drank the most out of all of us!"

He just tilted his head to the side in a very peppy way.

"Tobi's a good boy!"

…

But the Akatsuki weren't the only ones upset, though she was trying to hide it.

It was family weekend, and everyone on her hall had their parents there and were showing them about the campus.

Cin had never expected her parents to show up, and seeing how she had made an enemy of her brother by staying with the Akatsuki, there was no way he'd come either.

So this was why she was sitting in her dorm room, pretending not to care overmuch, whilst everyone on her hall were out bonding with their parents.

Even Akiko had left early that morning with her guardian.

She must resemble her mother, since the blank-faced brown-haired man looked nothing like her.

Sighing, she settled herself by the computer, preparing for an empty day.

It was kind of like those "back to school nights", in a way. She'd go in order to get some more information that teachers usually only give to parents.

It was always embarrassing to be the only child there alone.

She wiped away a threatening tear.

The loneliness that she felt now was something she had managed to avoid ever since the Akatsuki came.

But they weren't there now, and who knew when they'd return.

All she could say was that they were lucky they weren't dependent on their college grades to find a job out in the real world.

Then, her cell phone rang.

Clearing her throat, she reached for it, hoping that her voice wouldn't tremble and give her away.

"Hello?"

"Cindra?"

Her eyes went wide at the sound of the voice.

…

"Should we really be leaving her?" Kisame asked.

He received a lot of strange looks.

"What? Isn't that the reason we came? To look after her since we're so sure she can't do that for herself?" the fishman defended his words.

"She'll be fine for now," Pein spoke offhand, leading the way.

"But it seems that whenever we leave her, something bad happens, un, " Deidara reasoned, joining the fray on Kisame's side.

"It is just coincidence."

"Or a malevolent authoress."

[I'm not evil, Itachi! I only have "Malice" in my name because of liking the way it sounded paired with "Archangela"!]

Needless to say, he ignores me.

Just like Leader ignores him.

Ignoring is fun.

Ignore…

"Just shut up already!"

"We weren't even saying anything, un!"

The weasel groaned, rubbing his forehead, "Never mind me, just continue on. I am too tired to explain matters."

The others exchanged a confused look, but did as he said.

And the fact that if they debated the point, the Uchiha could make them wish they were dead had _nothing_ to do with it.

"Look, the sooner we go, the quicker we work, the sooner you can return to watch after the healer," Pein sighed, feeling a headache coming on, "Now get moving!"

He sprinted ahead, Konan following immediately behind him.

Uneasy, the Akatsuki members followed after.

They could only hope he was right.

…

So, who called Cin?

What did they want?

When will the Akatsuki return?

Where are they even going?

Why am I such an evil author?

And how long do I expect you to wait for the next chapter?

Wait for the answers in the next installment of _Quiet on the Campus_!

But in the meantime, _**RER**_!


	15. Chapter 15: Missing You

Well, that was an interesting last chapter if I do say so myself.

However, since everyone's looking forward to this one, I'll try to speed up my little intro.

I'm not going to repeat the riddle this time, so look at previous posts if you don't remember it.

I'll reveal the answer at long last with chapter 20.

In the meantime, I shall finish off with a **RER**!

Thank you! Oh, and thanks for reviewing! It's hard to believe I've got over 200 reviews already with only 15 chapters!

…

Itachi sat back against a tree, waiting wearily for the voice he knew would come once again to intrude upon his peaceful thoughts.

Aw, it's not as much fun if he expects it!

"That would be the point," he sighed, "What do you have to tell me now?"

[Well, _JLWafflezMan_ says to tell you "that if [you] really [want] to re-construct the Fourth Wall for [yourself], that it will involve Tobi, 3 gallons of root beer,$20, some Adamantium, a rubber duck, and an account on …if [you] can get all of these things by say, chapter 25, then [he] will review in with the way to keep [you] from breaking the Fourth Wall constantly." So, do you take up the challenge?]

He raised an eyebrow.

"I shall think on it. Is there anything else?"

[Um…let me just check real quick. Don't go anywhere.]

"I would not _dream_ of it."

[Sarcasm's not very nice, you know! Well, _Nya-chan_ told me to tell you to tell Deidara "hi!" for her.]

"Fine," he turned to speak to his companions, "Deidara, a reader says hi."

Deidara looked momentarily confused before shrugging it off as just Itachi's weirdness returning.

"I am not weird, MaliceArchangela."

[Oh, speaking of my name, some people find it quite nice, so there's no cause for you to malign it!]

"I would not…"

[Stop it with the sarcasm! Okay, _ParanoidDiva_ wants to know why Sasuke has duck-butt hair.]

He just glared, funneling the full force of the Uchiha glare at the sky.

"My foolish little brother just thinks it looks cool."

His cool voice was at complete odds with the deadly expression, but we'll let it slide.

"I am _so_ grateful."

[Seriously, who taught you sarcasm? It's really not nice! Whoever taught the Uchiha sarcasm needs to come take responsibility for their actions since it was hard enough _before_ he learned sarcasm! Anyways, _ParanoidDiva_ also wants to ask why Deidara is short compared to the rest of the Akatsuki.]

A little smirk popped up on his face, "I do not know. Deidara, why are you so short?"

The blond's face turned bright red with frustration and anger, "I'm not short!"

"Oh, I am _so_ sorry. Why are you vertically challenged, Deidara?"

"Shut up, Uchiha! I'm built low to the ground for speed and accuracy, un!" a confused expression crossed his face, "Why did I say _that_?"

"The author," was the dry explanation as he turned away from the fuming artist, "Alright, is that all, now?"

[Um…let's see, fixing the fourth wall, saying hi to Deidara, duck butt hair, shortness…yep, I think that about covers it!]

"Good. Now go away."

[…meanie…]

…

"Cin!" a voice greeted her, and then she was running, colliding with warm arms that encircled her.

A few tears ran down her cheek.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she demanded, "Why did I have to go through so much to find out my abilities?"

Her mother smiled and stroked her hair while her father patted her back.

"We figured that if you didn't know about it, then there would be a lesser chance of you letting it slip to the wrong people and so getting used for it."

She pulled back and looked critically at her mom before giving the same gaze to her dad.

"'Getting used for it'? Have you guys _looked_ at the properties and description of this ability? There's no other way about it, I'm supposed to be willing to give my life to save a bunch of others. That practically _screams_ getting used, wouldn't you say so?"

"If you kept taking your pills," her father's warm voice stopped her, "then the powers wouldn't come out so easily. I've noticed that you're not taking them now. Your chakra is flaring."

"Suppose I'm in a situation where I don't have those? If I don't learn control, then I'll die the first time someone gets hurt!"

She flung herself back into the hug.

"I-I-I missed you," she sobbed, "Why did you stay away for so long?"

"We didn't want to lead them to you," her mother spoke, "But come, tell us what you've learned, and we can answer any other questions you have."

She only nodded and led her parents inside to her dorm room.

As much as she wanted to be angry with them for going away for so long, she couldn't hold a grudge.

That was always a weakness of hers. She was just happy to have them back, for however long they would stay.

…

Well, that's the end of that chapter.

We finally meet Cin's parents! Yay! But since they're still so abstract, it's hard to write them!

Hope everyone enjoyed, and remember **RER**!


	16. Chapter 16: Peace

Alrighty! Here's some more reading for the people interested!

Welcome back to _QUIET ON THE CAMPUS_!

If you're looking for seriousness and tragedy, then you're looking in the wrong fanfiction.

If you're searching for a random plotline that will eventually make sense someday, then you're in the right place! (Probably)

Anyways, my riddle is the same, refer back to chapter 14 for it if you've forgotten but want to give it another try…if you haven't solved it already, that is.

**RER!**

…

She wished she could've spent longer with her family, but they had to keep moving, and she finally understood why.

You see, her mother had the same powers as she, and a long time ago, the "hidden villages" had wanted to use her power. Well, she hadn't wanted to be used, and decided to marry a pharmacist civilian, which would be her dad, and run away. If they kept moving, then they wouldn't be found. When Cin had been born, her father had started working with herbs and medicines to try to find something that would suppress her chakra enough to let her live a normal life. By the time she wanted to stop traveling around, he had finally come up with something.

But traveling around and not letting their children know where they were became even more of a necessity as a friend of her mother's from Konoha told her about how Alexander found the world of shinobi and took to it like a fish to water. They had managed to contact him, however, and told him that if she came into her powers too early, she could have some issues.

And as they were the only ones who knew anything about her power (especially since they had stolen the scrolls that detailed the aspects of it), their words were heeded and Cin was only watched.

But the time of watching was done, and so she received the prized family scrolls.

So whilst the other freshman were enjoying their family weekends, Cin was inside the dorm, pouring over the scrolls with a focus that belonged to the average college student on the eve of the finals.

And that was how Akiko found her when she returned from her day with her blank-faced parent, sleeping in her desk chair, head resting on a bunch of scrolls.

Smiling, she shook the other girl's shoulder until she awoke enough to move like a zombie to prepare for bed and take a real sleep, a tear of happiness rolling down her cheek before she lost all contact with reality and fell into dreams.

…

"Do you not usually do this at the front of a chapter?"

[Eh, I just wanted to shake things up a little. You got time?]

The Uchiha looked to the side at his traveling companions.

None of them were being very happy, or, indeed, very quiet. Pein suddenly called for a break, and they all stopped running to land in a clearing.

"I suppose I could indulge you for a few minutes."

[How generous of you. Okay, first of all we have _ParanoidDiva_. She wants you "to tell Kisame to tell Sasori to tell Deidara to tell Tobi to tell Zetsu to tell his other half to tell Hidan to tell Kakuzu to tell Konan to tell Pein that I said Hi!"]

Itachi sighed.

"Very well."

He walked over to Kisame and spoke softly to him.

"What?" the blue man looked confused.

Giving another exasperated sigh, Itachi repeated himself, and this time a huge sharkish grin crossed his face.

"Normally I'd ask you what's up with you doing this, but I figure he deserves it for dragging us all out after a jinchurriki report that turned out to be baloney. This could be a little revenge."

The weasel returned to his tree to watch the message pass down the line until it reached its intended recipient. They watched his eyes nearly go crossed with the sheer amount of confusion he was receiving.

Then his eyebrow twitched as it all sunk in, and his glare froze all of the Akatsuki where the stood before he turned around and walked to the edge of the clearing with Konan to plan more.

"What is the next torture you have for us now?"

[Well, _AkatsukiDevil_ wants you to ask Deidara "why his name means "Mr. Mud"]

"Deidara, why _does_ your name mean 'Mr. Mud?'"

"Because it does, un! Don't ask me, ask my parents!"

He turned back to looking at the skies, "Next?"

[One second…ah yes, _Dragonfire2lm_ wrote "that sarcasm is awesome..and that fangirls shall brun by my writing power (well Itachi fangirls at least he deserves respect not obseesion)".]

He nodded approvingly, "Yes, I definitely appreciate the respect. Next."

[You might not like the next one as much, though. _death2society _wrote to tell you "to stop being a meanie or else Tobi will hug [you]...forever and ever and ever."]

The weasel gave a little shudder at the prospect.

"Next."

[Okay, now we've got _GEMfaerie_ who says to "Tell [you…she doesn't] want [you] to fix the fourth wall. It'll take away a lot of the chapters."]

He groaned, "Well, I will go insane if I keep hearing fangirl voices like this. Do you really want that?"

[Actually, I think they do. Besides, in case you didn't notice, everyone likes teasing you, you give such hilarious reactions!]

"Shut up. Next."

[My collaborator _SakuraDreamerz_ says to "Tell [you] that another akatsuki will have the same power as [you]."]

"What power are you talking about?"

[Of course it's the awesome fourth-wall-breaking in our collaboration!]

"Who?"

[You'll just have to wait and see! Okay, now _luckydog10heart_ wants to ask you this: "Can you…say hi to Sasori and Deidara!…who's hair is softer and longer, [your's] or Deidara's?"]

"Very well. Sasori, Deidara, some person called _luckydog10heart_ says hi."

"Um, hi, un?"

"Hi?"

"Now that that is done, you want to know who's hair is "softer and longer"? I think that I'd have to say that Deidara's hair is longer, but mine is probably softer…I cannot believe I am _talking_ about this. MaliceArchangela!"

[Yes?]

"Why are you messing around with my character design?"

[Haven't I already told you why? It's funny!]

"Whatever," he sighed, leaning his head back against his tree.

"I'm going to take a bath," Kisame announced as he noticed Pein and Konan starting to set up camp. He pulled out a scroll to find his bath stuff.

Itachi started to drift off to semi-consciousness, doing his best to ignore the words and conversations of the rest of the Akatsuki setting up their own camps.

"Hey!" Kisame yelled, "Where'd my rubber duckie go? Who took Mr. Squeaky?"

…

Ah, no rubber ducks were harmed in the making of this segment.

But stealing someone's rubber duckies is still wrong!

Where could Mr. Squeaky be?

I wonder…

Anyhow, hope everyone enjoyed this chapter!


	17. Chapter 17: En Garde!

Yeah, I know it's been a while since my last update, but I hope you think that this chapter is worth the wait.

Anyways, I'll just go ahead and tell you that the answer to the riddle is a "stapler".

RERV!

**...**

"Ready? Fence!"

Cin started moving immediately, doing her best to implement what she had learned into this simple bout. Aggressively, she moved down the strip, gaining right-of-way as she smiled, breaking her opponents guard by using her lefty skill.

The beloved beeper went off, and she looked up to smile at the fact that it was her signal that was going off.

"Attack, point," the referee for the practice round gave her the point, "Bout!"

Both of them removed their masks and came forward to shake hands, Cin turning her ungloved right hand over to do so.

"Nice job," she murmured to Lee Ann, who responded similarly.

"I never thought you'd be willingly engaging in combat."

She turned and winced as she saw the Akatsuki standing there.

She had managed to keep the fact that she was fencing secret from them for a long time. Now it was time to face the music.

"Um…yeah," she unhooked and practically dragged them out of the practice room, "What are you guys doing here?" she hissed under her breath

"We got curious about where you were sneaking off to," Sasori continued, shrugging, "We didn't know whether or not you could be in trouble."

"Well, thanks, _Dad_," she said mockingly, "I wasn't aware I needed to answer to you guys about everything."

Kisame laughed and ruffled her hair a little, "I'm just more surprised that you're doing this willingly! We had to _force_ you to train."

She smacked his hand away and crossed her arms, irritated, "Fencing's more classy."

"How?" Itachi asked, "You are whacking at another person with a pointy object. Where is the class in that?"

She glared at him, "Now if you guys don't mind, I'm going to get back in practice now so that I won't have to do push-ups later."

She turned and walked back in.

She prayed she hadn't been gone long enough to earn more push-ups from the older members of the team.

…

Deidara sighed as he sat in his room, his hands absently sculpting.

Why did she want to do some sort of sissy fighting, anyways? The swords weren't even sharp! What sort of damage could you do with something like that? It was pointless.

"It's not pointless."

He lifted his head to see Cin standing at the doorway to his room.

"What, are you telepathic or something?"

"Nah, it's just that your face is really easy to read. You might want to work on that, or it'll be kind of difficult to call you a shinobi, Dei."

"Don't call me Dei."

But he was smiling a little now.

"You know me, Deidara, I don't do pointless things. I guess it's a way of reminding myself that _I_'m in control of my life, no matter what happens to me. Not to mention, I also learn patience, control, not to mention when to attack and when to retreat. Besides, it actually makes me run, and therefore stay in shape."

He nodded grudgingly.

"Besides, it's fun. Now come on, I'm hungry and want my dinner."

"So what, now you think you're a queen just because you wield a non-pointy useless weapon?"

Nonetheless, he stood and walked over to stand next to her.

She punched him lightly in the shoulder.

"It's called a foil, numbskull."

"Ooh, bad word, huh? 'Numbskull'? Your language has gotten worse, un."

"Shut up, will you?"

…

Itachi gave a sigh of relief, he had managed to avoid the questions of the fangirls…oh _no_, she was focused on him now, wasn't she?

[Hullo, guvner!]

"Just shut up and get it over with," he groaned, resting his forehead on his hands.

…

"I told you to just get it over with!" the silence was annoyingly ominous.

[But you told me to shut up, remember?]

"Just get it OVER with."

[Fine, calm down, will you? _Ookami-no-Seirei_ – "And I have a little message for Itachi-kun! No matter hom hilarious I think the fourth-wall-breaking segments are, I truly feel sorry for you. I hope you will be cured of your ability and that MaliceArchangela will bestow this amazing(ly terrifying) ability upon another Akatsuki member... I have spoken. Enjoy your day, Tachi-kun, and hugs and kisses to all other Akatsuki members :D"]

"…well, I must thank her for seeing my side about this, but I hope you don't plan on me passing on the hugs and kisses, because I will not."

[Fair enough. _teiaramogami_ – "Tell both sides of Zetsu I still think he's the most epic cannibal ever since Hannibal Lecter came around (HL from his YOUNG years, not his old ones...except Silence of the Lambs...he looks ok in that one.)"]

"Fine," Itachi sighed as he pulled out his cell phone and sent a quick text to the cannibal.

[Aren't cell phones convenient? You can communicated without having to move.]

"I moved my thumbs. Ergo, I _moved_."

He glanced back down at his device, "Zetsu just told me to stop being weird or else he will sincerely eat someone."

[Ah, always our favorite cannibal. Why not threaten to eat you?]

The Uchiha smirked, "Zetsu knows better than to even try."

[Okay, not delving further into that. I don't think I want to know.]

"No, you do not."

[Moving on, _AnimeVamp1997_ – "After you die would you rather be: Forgotten or Hatefully remembered~!"]

"Hatefully remembered. Next."

[Not so fast, weasel-boy. The question's for the whole group. Though I must say, I would rather be forgotten than hated.]

"You asked the question," he shrugged, texting, "Be prepared for my answer to not be as you like."

We'll look over his shoulder to see who's responded in what ways.

Sasori: _I won't die. I'll live forever, remember?_

Hidan: _Rember anyting, weasel? I'm imortal!_

Kakuzu: _You're making me use up my minutes!_

Deidara: _Forgotten, I guess. Art's fleeting, after all._

Kisame: _Congratulations, you're actually communicating on your own! Hatefully remembered, I guess._

Zetsu: _What's with the weird questions you've been asking lately? __**It's making me hungry.**_

"There, are you happy now?"

[Eh, not really. But let's move on. _daleksuperfan_ – ""Itachi i demand that you sing! i comand it!"]

"No."

[Really?]

"I refuse to sing. Next."

[_Midnighter67_ says – "Tell itachi to tell tobi that I'm on to him and the ducky...and hi :)"]

"I have not the slightest idea what you are talking about…and hello?"

[_Dragonfire2lm_ – "poor poor uchiha, maybe he should get an ipod..music si always the best remedy for drowning out people."]

"If you can persuade Kakuzu to shell out the money, then I would be grateful."

[Or you can ask Cin.]

"I could. But I do not feel like it."

[Someone's feeling sadistic. Oh, I forgot to put this in earlier, from _MizTroublezxx_ – "Anyway considering as people ask/tell alot of things to Itachi tell him he amuses me and should continue to do so (I just wanna know his reaction) Ohh and can you get him to tell Deidara thats hes f***ing sexy and tell Itachi did he know that when all the Akatsuki die the end up stripping? (Well not really strip but their clothes come off one way another)"]

"So wonderful to know that I am a method of communication," he spoke dryly, "And I would rather not know that, nor tell Deidara. Therefore, I shall not."

[Here's another one I forgot, sorry, _Fruity_-_chan_ – (also forgot) – "I thought that sasori was the shortest. I love how you annoy itachi. Please tell itachi to ask sasori how he made himself a puppet."]

"No, I think it is Deidara that is the shortest. And as I would rather not deal with the absolute mechanics that you would likely not understand, besides the fact that Sasori would never tell anyone his secret, you will have to deal with not knowing."

[Someone's in a snooty mood, aren't they? Okay, _xXxCrimsonRosexXx_ – "I wanna say something to Tachi-kun as well! Tell him I says Hellos and that he has pretty eyes ^o^!"]

He raised an eyebrow, "Thank…you?"

[_xXxCrimsonRosexXx_ – "I wanna say something to Tachi-kun as well! Tell him I says Hellos and that he has pretty eyes ^o^!"]

"Once again, thank you?"

[And finally, _SakuraDreamerz_ – "Could you ask Itachi if he was the one who stole Mr. Squeaky for jzwafflemans idea to him? Plus, could you give this to him? *gives him the adamantium*"]

Itachi got the shifty eyes, "…Maybe…"

But he gets a small smile as he sees the adamantium appear nearby.

[*sighs* I really wish I wasn't giving you this, it'll make it all too easy!]

He smirked at my words, "Thank you, Sakura, it is less work I have to do, and less time spent hoping for Cin to drop adamantium on Hidan's head."

[Eh, true. So just got back to whatever you were doing, and we'll be taking our leave now.]

"You had better…"

…

So, what'd you think? Worth the wait?

I hope so, if not I shall be sad.

Please review! It'll make me very happy!


	18. Chapter 18:  Under the Weather

Okay, first things first.

I'd like to apologize for being so late in updating. I've just been under a lot of pressure lately. Not to mention I plan on participating in National Novel Writing Month, so I won't be updating until I have more time, sorry.

Here's your riddle:

You are in a room that is completely bricked in on all four sides, including the ceiling and floor. You have nothing but a mirror and a wooden table in the room with you. How do you get out?

So thank you for being so patient, and here's chapter eighteen!

…

"_Aaa-_**choo**!"

Cin felt _terrible_.

She had been sneezing and coughing _all_ day long.

Her roommate was being smart and avoiding her…so were the Akatsuki.

It just stunk. The _one_ time when she'd be grateful to have the boys around, they were nowhere in sight.

Of course, she couldn't exactly blame them. If one of them were sick, she'd try to stay away until Sasori dragged her over to attempt to heal them, and which point she'd tell them that she can't heal the common cold, hence the reason why she's currently wallowing in misery.

Stupid cold. Can't cure it, can only endure it.

Just like life.

So she sat back in her bed and pondered why on earth she was sick, when her immune system hadn't failed her for years.

And then she hit upon it.

Her powers must be taken partly from her immune system.

It would've been nice if it had been mentioned in those scrolls about her family…but then again, she guessed that usually healers were kept in nice safe hospitals, around a lot of clean stuff. From the scrolls, it looked like they were treated like porcelain dolls, given chakra training, but not allowed to do much outside of the hospital.

Healing people became their lives.

Cin liked healing people. She liked saving lives.

But she wanted to be more than that.

If she let saving people become her entire life, then one day, she just knew that she'd end up sacrificing herself one day for the greater good.

It was funny.

A lot of people called her selfless, but that wasn't her. She was as selfish as anyone, especially when it came to wanting her own life to be spared.

Even if more people died.

She couldn't help it. It was just part of being human.

At times she'd wish she could change that.

But for the time being, she was stuck inside with a cold.

Joy

…

[Cin's sick.]

"I know."

[I'm bored. So I'm just going to bother you now.]

"Just get it over with please."

[As you wish. _Dragonfire2lm_ wants to know that you could just trick Hidan into stealing money from Kakuzu as far as the iPod's concerned.]

"Even Hidan is not that stupid. He has tried to steal money from Kakuzu in the past, and ended up the worst for it. I will just leave it at that."

[_7_ says to "tell Itachi-san that I feel for him. Excessive stupidity from life in general along with being treated like a madman from the fourth wall incident must get to you.

The only bright side to this is that you probably only have to endure this for around 110 chapters max.

But then again, I may have just jinxed you Itachi-san. Forgive me.

I believe you don't need me to tell you good luck.

PS Has Kakuzu sold all of the precious gems and metals he's accumulated from all the chapters? If he hasn't, they would make very nice weapons.

SHARP POINTY WEAPONS.

Live on, Uchiha. And you realize you can steal an IPod right?"]

"I appreciate your sympathy…and _one hundred and ten_ chapters? Malice-san, are you planning on torturing us for that long?"

[Who knows? I seem to have done it before, haven't I? And I have to say, I wasn't planning on it there.]

"I despise you."

[I love you too, Itachi.]

"Anyways, Kakuzu has been hoarding the fallen rocks, and we haven't seen them since they fell. And yes, I realize that I can steal an iPod, however, Pein has specifically instructed me to stay low, therefore, stealing is not allowed."

[_Annibellee_ says, "Tell the Akatsuki I said hi, and tell Itachi he's cool and Sasuke's a dick head, hence, he is the better brother. LOL XDDD Sorry for the language, just thought I'd establish that. X3 Oh, and tell him to tell Deidara that I am friends with a fangirl of his. ;D She's totally obsessed, and she's making him seem more cool ever day. XDDDD"]

Itachi sighed, "Very well, I appreciate you thinking that I am the better brother, I guess…_ignoring the fact you called my brother that_…and very well, I will tell Deidara."

He pulled out the cell phone and sent off a quick text.

The response was quick, even though Deidara was _supposed_ to be in class.

"_What the _expletive_ Uchiha!"_

Itachi smirked.

This was the only good part about the fourth wall breaking.

But, moving on.

[Itachi, _Teiaramogami_ would like to say "Itachi needs a serious hug...or a girlfriend...SERIOUSLY.^^ Tell Sasori, 'Sup?'"]

"I have neither the time nor the inclination for a girlfriend…and hug me and I will _kill_ you. And yes, I will tell Sasori."

He texted him, and got a confused response back, something along the lines of the Uchiha to stop sleep-texting.

[Okay, time for the comment from _AnimeVamp1997_, "Heh.. Hidan doesn't know how to spell.. Tell him I said that."]

"My pleasure," he smirked, using the phone again (wow, it's getting a lot of use!).

"You are the one that wrote it like that."

[Shut up, Uchiha…what did he say?]

"Look for yourself."

Hidan's response was sort of like this:

"_What the fuc r us taking bout uciha?"_

[How did you guys manage to get him in here anyways? How did he endure those AP classes anyways?]

"He is actually pretty smart, he just cannot spell at all."

[Okay, and finally we have _Lyric the Kunoichi cat _with "'tachi-kun to tell Dei-kun to dress up in a school girl uniform! (A fetish of mine...)"]

"Please do not call me that. And to be honest, I would rather not."

[Come on, Itachi!]

"No. Now end the story. _Now_."

[Fine…talk to you later everyone!]

"Just do not come back."

[You're so mean, Itachi!]

…

So, that's the end of chapter 18, and I'll update as soon as I can, but no guarantees. Maybe after November's done.

Have a nice month!


	19. A Day in the Life of a Moving Target

Thank you for your patience, everyone! I am glad to say that I completed National Novel Writing Month with the requisite number of words! But now to the reason you're all really here.

Let's face it; you're not interested in my personal accomplishments. No, you've gone a whole month without an update from a currently ongoing story, and you want your chapter!

Of course, I'm not going to necessarily be able to update again the upcoming week because of finals, so please review a lot to help me keep going through these trying times that you don't really care about because it has absolutely nothing to do with you!

And yes, I realize that was an easy riddle from the last chapter, though I'll repeat it here for people just picking up the stories and flying through the chapters so they can catch up and have absolutely no idea whatsoever I am talking about.

You are in a room that is completely bricked in on all four sides, including the ceiling and floor. You have nothing but a mirror and a wooden table in the room with you. How do you get out?

Read the chapter for the answer!

I appreciate the sympathy Cin received from the last chapter though! And she thanks you too!

I don't own any Naruto characters that may appear in this story!

RERV!

… … …

"No!" Cin screamed as she ran across campus. She couldn't let herself be caught. She just couldn't.

But then again, I'm getting ahead of myself.

Now, Cin's got a lot of reasons to run screaming across campus, most of them having to do with a crew of criminals that she works as healer for and are unfortunately overprotective due to the fact that she's the last of her race and therefore irreplaceable if lost. Usually, the running has to do with her being forced to practice some shinobi skill or another. And if you recall, there have been a few times when it has to do with her being injured and not wanting even her worst enemy to receive the wrath of the Akatsuki when angered.

However, this current situation might have more to do with the fact that despite her constant inability to think before she speaks (which miraculously has earned her allies rather than enemies like it usually would for saying such things) , she is a big coward.

Of course, given the circumstances, I'd say that she currently has a rather good reason to be scared.

The reason, you ask? Well, it has a little something to do with fangirls from the realm of the story.

Not Cin's fans, obviously. These belong to the source of all of her problems lately.

Yeah, you guessed right.

They're the Akatsuki's fans.

Scared yet?

The worst part was…THEY WEREN'T EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE HERE! THIS WASN'T THEIR CAMPUS!

Some of them weren't even in college.

She cursed the Akatsuki mentally as she kept running. For a group of ninja, they were surprisingly unable to stay low and avoid attention.

Which ended up with her fleeing their fans, who somehow saw her as a huge threat.

Luckily she was a good runner. She'd never tell them, but she was grateful they had worked on her running skills.

Why would she never tell them?

Well, maybe it had a little something to do with the fact that they worked on her speed and endurance by alternating having Kisame chasing her across her yard with Samhaeda, with Deidara chasing her throwing bombs at her.

True, the unconventional method was probably the only way she'd improve, or even try, but it still didn't make up for the fact that she was pretty sure she came really close to Death quite a few times.

His eyes are blue, in case anyone was wondering. Death has blue eyes.

The problem was that she knew, she _knew_ that this was going to happen. However, since it hadn't happened around Halloween like last year, nor earlier than that (which would also have been reasonable, considering that they started college sometime in the year before they started last year).

So, Cin would admit it. She had gotten complacent.

If she could make it out of this alive, she planned to never let her grd down again.

Now, I could be nice and go tell Itachi about this, but I think Cin's doing quite well. She was trained by shinobi, after all. She could outrun a few angry people, right?

Of course, that's neglecting one small fact.

She's trying to run from crazed fangirls. They are surprisingly faster than normal people, possibly having something to do with having to chase down the character they see as their love interest.

But, I think Cin will be able to manage for a bit, so let's get to where the Akatsuki are doing something they couldn't believe they were doing.

Homework.

…

The Akatsuki were sitting on the floor of Itachi's and Kisame's room, doing their homework.

Now, they had asked a few times why they were doing homework. It's not like it made much sense. They were the _bad guys_. Why act all goody-two-shoes? It's not like a college degree will make a difference in taking over all the Hidden Villages. It wouldn't get them any more respect.

But somehow, they couldn't stop doing homework. They tried, but they'd receive an irresistible urge to continue working and studying for the upcoming finals.

"The sooner you get on with it, the sooner I can focus on doing this infernal studying you are somehow making us do."

The others groaned.

"Is it not bad enough that we have to _work_ without listening to you arguing with yourself, un?"

Without speaking, Itachi rose to his feet and left the room, instead walking into Deidara's room to talk to us.

They really should lock their doors.

"Just ask me already."

[Fine. First one: _Dragonfire2lm – "_oh yeah nearly forgot...what do the Akatsuki (including Pain and Konan) do in your spare time"]

"What spare time?" Itachi asked with a dry humor, "We are constantly being written into stories. And Malice is now making us do homework and study, so that is taking up a lot of our time. However, if we had the choice, then I assume that we would all train."

[Come on, at least give us a little information about yourself! Just those little secrets!]

He looked away with a snort.

[Hey, if you don't tell them, I will, and you'll really wish I hadn't!]

He still refused to answer.

[Okay then. Folks, I am happy to inform you that Itachi Uchiha likes to do nee…]

"Read," he swiftly interrupted, "I enjoy to read and prefer _quiet_. Deidara and Sasori make art. Kisame likes going to aquariums. Hidan kills random things that he finds… I should probably mention that for once, the squirrel from last week had it coming. Kakuzu counts money. Zetsu gardens. And Konan and Pein secretly enjoy ballroom dancing. Happy now?"

[I'd be happier if you answered more questions. Next one! _SakuraDreamerz_ – "Please ask Itachi if hidan is STREET smart or BOOK smart"]

"It depends. Personally, I think that he seems more street smart after a sacrifice, but much more intelligent when it has been a while since the last one. For some reason, he actually managed to resist sacrificing last year, hence his ability to keep up in those AP classes. I suppose he used up all of his ability to do a sacrifice fast, though."

[Okay, _YukoxxxIchikawa_ requests that Itachi answers the riddle]

"Fine," he sighed, "Well, you look in the mirror and see what you saw. Then, you take the saw and saw the table in half. The two halves will make a whole, and you can jump through the hole. Done."

[Bravo! An excellent performance!]

"You have no place criticizing me for being sarcastic when you do the same."

[Well I'm a hypocrite. Are you really surprised? Next! _Daleksuperfan – "_Itachi I would like to inform you the one of your fangirls have defected to the Darker Side. I am now a Tobi fangirl. This is my last message for you and I will bid you farewell"]

"That is it?" Itachi randomly fell off the bed, "What was that for?"

[Be nice! They're your fans…well, not _Daleksuperfan_ anymore, but they still read the story! So just grin, bear it, and be nice!]

"Fine," he spoke through gritted teeth, "I am very happy for you. Better?"

[_*sighs*_ We'll work on it. Next one, step up! _SkyTheLugia_ – "I'd like to tell Itachi that I feel his pain,getting knocked around sending (stupid) messages are not fun,that I despise him for poking Sasuke on the forehead,'cause I'm getting poked on the forehead too,and that I will stalk him...maybe. Hurrhurrhurr."]

"At least someone feels my pain. Though I would much rather not be stalked, and I suppose I must apologize for poking my little brother on the forehead?"

[That was the most insincere apology I've ever seen!]

"I highly doubt you would apologize any better yourself."

[Fine! Here's the last one! _authorchik039_ – "'tachi-chan do me a favor n tell sasori-senpai tht he's as hot as the puppetmaster drocell keinz'']

"I have no clue who that is, but since I have absolutely no choice, I will do it."

He pulled out his phone and sent off a quick text.

"Oh, and please do not call me "'tachi". Here's the response. 'Stop acting so weird, Itachi.' I hope you are happy."

[Extremely. Now go finish your homework! We have to go see Cin!]

He left without another word.

So let's go visit Cin!

…

Okay, so far as bad days go, this isn't the worse she's had.

I mean, yeah, she's treed, but seeing as the last few times she's tangled with the Akatsuki's fangirls, she's ended up either in the hospital or just with her face carved like a Thanksgiving turkey, it's really not so bad.

How did they have fangirls here anyways? It's not like any of them were particularly charming in any way, shape, or form. In fact, most of them went out of their way to be as hostile as possible.

And yet, here those crazed fans were, screeching up at her for _talking_ to their obsession.

Stupid Akatsuki. This was really cutting into her study time. She had _finals_ in the upcoming week, and if she didn't pass with flying colors…well, she didn't know what she'd do, but it probably wouldn't work out well for her dream of becoming a doctor.

"You've gotta come down sometime!" one of the girls yelled up at her.

She knew she should probably avoid speaking to them, but could a little phrase hurt that much?

"No I don't!"

Furious mutters ranged through the crowds, and to top it all off, her stomach gave a little growl.

"I hate you," she muttered to the irritated organ, which responded with another gurgle.

"No, I can't feed you unless you want to eat leaves, because I highly doubt that you want to get torn out of my body if I go down…and now I'm talking to my stomach. _Great_."

At least she had her backpack. She could study and hopefully outlast the fans' attention spans. Besides, eventually one would squeal she caught sight of her love interest, they'd run to chase them, and she'd be free to escape.

Sadly, she knew this from experience.

Even sadder, she was running out of fingers to document the incidences on.

The good part was that all of this had happened last year. The bad part was that the great chase and her problems were only starting up again.

She could tell the Akatsuki, Cin knew that. But as much as she hated them for doing this to her, she couldn't bring herself to sic a bunch of bloodthirsty criminals on fangirls.

She just wished she had thought to pack snacks…that would be something she'd make sure she'd do in the future.

But hey, lucky! Candy cane! Unwrapping one end, she stuck it in her mouth like a lollipop and started to work, tuning out the yells and threats from below.

She could make this work.

…

It was late when Deidara finally got rid of the fans chasing him (again? Why did they keep popping up?) and returned to the dorm. And surprises of surprises, Cin was sitting in the lounge, studying.

"Where have you been all day, un?"

"You mean where have I been all _yesterday_?" she corrected, "It's past twelve."

"Whatever! Just where have you been, un?" she raised an eyebrow, and he backed off with a "I…we were worried."

"Usually when you're worried, you come looking for me."

"For some reason, none of us could leave the room! We had to do homework, and whenever we tried to leave, we'd end up back in front of the work, doing it diligently. It was weird, un!"

She nodded, "I was getting some studying done as well."

"Oh," he said.

"Yeah, '_Oh_'," she stretched her arms, "Well, I'm going to go to bed. I'm sleepy…"

With that, she left the room, walking rather dazedly to where her bed was.

Deidara sat there a little longer before he reluctantly went to the room he shared with Sasori.

It had been a long day.

… … …

So, was it worth the wait? Please say it was! If not, then I'll just have to do better next time.

I'll do my best to get chapter 20 up soon. It's funny, this time last year, I was somewhere around 50 and 60 chapters.

But thanks for being patient, and remember to Read and Review!


	20. Chapter 20: Stress

Well, happy holidays, everyone! Hope everyone's doing well!

Here's your newest riddle:

Two convicts are locked in a cell. There is an unbarred window high up in the cell. No matter if they stand on the bed or one on top of the other they can't reach the window to escape. They then decide to tunnel out. However, they give up with the tunneling because it will take too long. Finally one of the convicts figures out how to escape from the cell. What is his plan?

Any ideas? Think carefully!

And remember…RER!

… … … … … …**. …**

Cin stared scared at her roommate, biting her lip.

This wasn't good, it wasn't good at all.

Actually, just saying that it wasn't good didn't really do the situation justice.

Now, I'm going to milk this situation just a little bit more, seeing as I'll probably lose all respect from you guys once I tell you what happened.

At least, until I tell you exactly _why_ this is such a big deal.

Now, something else you need to know that all of this is occurring in a few seconds instead of the couple of minutes I'm dragging this all out to be. It would be really awesome, for me at least, if I could manage to drag this out to telling you at the end of the chapter, but I'm not sure that I'm enough of a genius to make that work.

Therefore, back to the long boring and agonizing drawing out of the situation that's freaking my little original character out.

"Are you alright?" Akiko asked, blue eyes wide, peering into her wide eyes, "Cin, can you hear me?"

She couldn't speak. Why did this fill her with so much horror? It never had before. Not even close, in all honesty. Was this how it was going to be for the rest of her life?

How could she be this squeamish? She wanted to be a DOCTOR for who or _what_ever's sake.

She couldn't be feeling ready to faint at the sight of a little blood! She just couldn't!

Though technically, she could say that it wasn't necessarily the blood that was making her feel so queasy, maybe it was the yank in the pit of her stomach this time.

She was low on energy and mental control due to finals, and so she could just feel the chakra slipping away from her control.

And all it had taken was a small, insignificant skinned knee to send it all to Jashin in a hand basket.

"I, I have to go," she stuttered and ran from the room, hoping that the small bit of healing chakra that had slipped from her grasp wouldn't be enough to heal the wound completely and arouse her roommate's suspicions.

She didn't have time for this! She wanted to help people, but if she wasted all her power on the small stuff, she'd die. She could already feel the pulsing headaches of everyone in the building, begging to be relieved, a few scrapes and bruises that the owners didn't know where they came from, all praying to be taken away.

Now, you might be thinking, "What's the big deal about fixing some scrapes? Those things hurt, you know, and are really annoying!"

Yeah, that's what she thought to, until she had tried to fix something small.

See, most medical chakra is thin and easily manipulated once you know how. It can be adjusted to do something big or something small.

But Cin's…well, it could fix small stuff, of course, but using it for something like that was like drilling a hole in a dam and thinking only a small cup of water will come out.

It just doesn't work. And you just end up destroying the only barrier you have left.

Maybe one day she'd have the skill to let only a bit out, but from what Itachi was saying, she was already at a huge disadvantage to most medic-nin, who had precise chakra control and the blocks that she lacked in order to keep her chakra from spilling out willy-nilly.

So, that one time when she had fixed that huge, ugly-looking bruise on her leg from fencing very early on in the year, she had almost fainted from the sudden absence of her chakra, and barely kept conscious, since if she blacked out, it would just leave without any control.

But, this is taking forever for something you thought was only supposed to occur in a few seconds, so I'll mention that by this time, a few minutes have passed since she ran from the room, and she is currently hiding in the middle of the forest, using just a smidge of the chakra the refuses to return to her stores to help her climb a tall tree.

She doesn't have the same problems with injured animals, and most people won't be out there in the middle of exams.

It'll give her some time to collect herself and regain her control.

…

Kakuzu was not in a good mood.

Now, some would argue that he is never in a really good mood, especially if you try to talk to him, since "time is money, and if you're wasting his time, you're wasting his money".

Such a nice ragdoll, right? Just what every little kid wants for the holidays, huh? Well, next to the next copy of everyone's favorite violent manga with weird plot twists that no one sees coming!

And that is all I will say since I'm trying not to spoil things for everyone.

Anyways, Kakuzu might always be in a bad mood, but I'm afraid that this is the bad mood to end all bad moods.

"Itachi!" he roared, slamming open the door. The weasel looked up calmly from where he was reading at his desk.

He _had_ been enjoying some quiet time with Kisame gone, but it looks like it would have to be delayed.

"Hn?"

"Don't _Hn_ me! I want my money back!"

The Uchiha just raised an eyebrow.

"Pardon?"

"The twenty dollars you stole from me! I want them back!"

"What makes you think I took them?"

"Maybe this?" Kakuzu whipped out a sign that had written in large, messy letters, **"Itachi was here"**.

Itachi only gave a long-suffering sigh.

"Kakuzu, do you not think that if I wanted to steal your money, which I would not, I might have better sense than to leave a note saying I did it?"

That made the ragdoll stop for a moment, and grudgingly, he mentally admitted that the younger shinobi might have a point.

MIGHT, mind you.

"My guess," Itachi continued, "Would be that Hidan did it as a joke."

Yes, that did make sense. Okay, maybe he _was_ jumping to conclusions…just a little bit.

And it _would_ be like Hidan to pull something like that.

Without an apology (since he's an evil shinobi and evil shinobi don't apologize), or another word, he turned on his heel and left the room, presumably to hunt down the culprit and get his money back.

Some might say that this is overreacting, but then again, some might not know Kakuzu.

We all remember that time when he rushed into a burning building to save the money, right?

If not, I don't remember which chapter it was, but you might want to take a look at it.

One might almost feel sorry for Hidan in situations like this, especially since there's no way he'll be able to die, and so will have to endure.

Itachi might feel sorry for Hidan if he were that kind of person. But then again, Hidan's probably done something to deserve it anyway.

[It _was_ you, wasn't it?]

He didn't look up from his book.

"What was your first clue?"

[Clever move, leaving behind that note. You're already unlikely suspect number one, but no one would believe that you'd…]

"No need to restate what we already went over, Malice-san."

[Okay, you've got the rubber duckie, the twenty bucks, Adamantium, Tobi…you just need the root beer and fanfiction account before the next five chapters are up.]

"And then I will not have to listen to you ever again."

[Well, that's mean.]

"Member of Akatsuki, remember? _Mean_ is in the job description."

[I suppose so. Anyways, you ready?

"No, but I do not suppose I have a choice."

[And I'd suppose that you be right! First we have_ SkyTheLugia_ – "my friend would like me to pass a message to says hello and was touched at how Itachi sacrificed his honor and trust to protect Konoha and deserves an award for being such a noble person"]

He choked a little before ducking his head, pretending like he wasn't listening.

[Aw, isn't that just the sweetest thing?]

"Shut up," he grumbled.

[Resorting to the common language now? It looks like you're speechless! Fangirls, take a picture! He just looks so cute!]

The weasel groaned, and repeated the action as he noticed Kisame enter the room.

"Is there something wrong?" Kisame asked, noticing his expression.

"I might be needing something for my headache soon," Itachi grumbled as he tried to bury his face in his hands, "Just make them leave me alone."

[You know, you're only adding fuel to the fire.]

"Just leave me aLONE," he moaned. Kisame was starting to look worried.

[Okay, you look suitably embarrassed now. _SkytheLugia_ also said, "P.S. Be sure to embarrass Itachi before giving him my friend's gift! (;"]

"Gift?"

A packet of dango falls from the ceiling and into his lap. Kisame visibly startles.

"Where did that come from?"

Itachi ignored him, focusing on the food, murmuring, "I never thought I would be happy that the others cannot hear these voices."

"What was that?" Kisame asked.

"Nothing you need to be concerned about. What is next, Malice-san?"

He'd keep the dango for later.

[Well, we have _Metal Butter_ - "Itachi, can you please tell the person closest to you(in a five mile distance) that they can't say [certain words] really fast? Also, make them try it, kthxbye." I have implanted the necessary words in your mind.]

"Kisame," he looked like he was reading again, though we all know he's not.

"Hm?"

"I bet that you cannot say four words really fast and in quick succession."

Now, normally Kisame would feel that something was quite wrong with the weasel, but the bet distracted him just a little.

"You're on."

"Here," he handed over a piece of paper with the words written on it.

"Eye…laws…duh… game?"

"Faster"

"ILOSTTHEGAME!"

Silence reigned before the screams of readers started to echo in Itachi's ears.

Kisame's eyes widened as he realized what he said, "Itachi! Why'd you do that?"

"It is amusing. What is next, Malice-san?"

[_daleksuperfan_ – "i feel bad for cin send her a cookie from me she deserves one after having to deal with this"]

"I will give it to her later. Next."

[_SakuraDreamerz_ – "And please warn Itachi that the fangirls are on the loose again!"]

He rolled his eye "Will they never tire of this?"

[Apparently not. Here's the final message! _Cho-chan_ – "Will you please ask Itachi-san why his name means weasel. I mean who would want to be called a weasel?"]

"I do not know why it means weasel. I had nothing to do with what my parents chose to name me."

"You talking about your name?" Kisame overheard it, "I always thought it meant something about how sneaky you are."

Cue Uchiha glare that has Kisame running for the hills.

"Anything else?"

[Nope, I think we're good.]

"Then leave."

Itachi really wanted to read, and tried to find the spot where he was interrupted at earlier.

"I thought I told you to leave."

[I'm going, I'm going….]

Weasels are really touchy.

"Malice!"

…

_It's almost done_

She can last a few more days, right? Then she'll be alone.

_No, not alone_

That's right; they'd follow her with injuries. There was no escape. She knew that college was supposed to be stressful at times, but somehow she felt that she had the lion's share.

After all, how many college students had to deal with her troubles.

_Stop whining_

Yeah, there were worse fates. She should be grateful to have these opportunities to help people.

It's only being human that makes her unsatisfied.

"What's with the frown?"

Yeah, she should be happy…that wasn't her talking to herself, was it?

She jerked her head up, nearly falling off of her branch noticing that she wasn't alone.

"You need to work on your skills, un."

She made a face at him, he chuckled.

"Come on, now, what's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Hey, you can't lie to me, un!"

She didn't answer, eyes fixated on the ground below.

_Too high for me to jump. There's no escape, is there?_

"Come on, Cin, tell me what's bothering you."

She made her decision.

Her head came up, a wide smile on her face that she managed to make reach her eyes. She drew on times of relaxation to calm her heartbeat.

"Just stressed about exams, you know?"

It probably wasn't enough to fool him, but at least it would be enough to confuse him.

Besides, it's not like that wasn't bothering her anyways.

It wasn't a complete lie.

…

Cin would be glad to know that her ruse worked.

The fact that she doesn't usually lie to them helps.

She was a rotten liar at any point; it was easy to pick out those times when she was being deceptive.

Of course, he had never really considered the idea that she might be purposefully bad to throw them off.

Why would it cross his mind?

He was still worried, but prepared to leave.

"Wait."

He turned to look at her, confused, especially when he saw how nervous she looked.

"Do you…um, do you…think you could maybe…um, help me down?"

A wide grin crossed his face, "Little kitty stuck up in a tree, un? Should I call the fire department?"

Now she was pouting.

"I'm not stuck…atleastIdon'tthinkIam, but it would help me get to the ground much faster if you help me."

"You'll owe me, un."

She glared, and grabbed onto her branch, "Actually, I think I'll get down by myself, then."

He wanted to laugh, but kept a straight face, "You sure? You asked for help, after all, un."

"Shut up. It was for convenience sake since it takes me a while to get down from trees."

She was obviously trying to find a way to get down with minimum risk on her part.

"Come on," he said, reaching out a hand to you, "I suppose I could give you a freebie just this once."

He could tell that she wanted to say no, for the principle of the matter if nothing else.

But rationality sunk in, and reluctantly she nodded.

"Fine."

When they were safely on the ground, he let her go.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

… … … … … … … … … …

Wow, that was a long chapter, wasn't it? Just a little over eight pages!

I hope everyone liked it!

Consider it a celebration that I am done with exams and currently looking forward to the holidays!

I hope everyone else is as well, and I'll do my best to update soon!


	21. Chapter 21:  Missing

Here's the next chapter, and here's your riddle again:

Two convicts are locked in a cell. There is an unbarred window high up in the cell. No matter if they stand on the bed or one on top of the other they can't reach the window to escape. They then decide to tunnel out. However, they give up with the tunneling because it will take too long. Finally one of the convicts figures out how to escape from the cell. What is his plan?

Some of you have figured it out already, but if you haven't then keep on trying!

I hope that you find this chapter at least a little funny, even if it isn't as humorous as the previous one.

Remember, RER!

… … … … … … …

"Cin? Cin, where are you?"

"Cin!"

"Cin-chan!"

"**Cin**, is not here either."

"Where could she be, un?"

I think it is quite obvious what is going on here, but just in case, I'll clarify it a little.

Cin is currently missing.

Exams are done and the group is all back home…well, back at Cin's house, that is. Well, at this point, Cin is the exception to being "home".

They've been back for a few days, and she was with them then.

"Do you think they took her again, un?"

"They would not just kidnap her again after the last time."

"Then where is she?"

What happened?

"I bet you know."

[You would be right in thinking that. Maybe the answers will come out if you answer some questions?]

"They had better," the Uchiha sighed as he walked to his empty room, knowing everyone would be too busy running around to notice his disappearance, "shall we get started then?"

[Okay, first from _SakuraDreamerz_ – "And to Itachi: I don't think so. More fangirls are coming everyday, they even tried to chase Cin-chan arounf the campus 1 to 2 chapters ago!"]

Itachi raised an eyebrow, "Why did she not speak to us about this then?"

[She didn't want you to kill them.]

"Next."

[Your concern is truly touching.]

"There is nothing I can do about it right now, therefore it is worthless to think on it. Next."

[_AnimeVamp1997_ – "Okay, I have something to say to Weasel-chan~ I suggest you don't go anywhere near Allen Walker with those Dango. He will attack you for them."]

"Allen Walker? Anyways, there is no fear about the Dango, as I have eaten it already…and I would appreciate it if I was not called "Weasel-chan"."

[Like that's going to work, _Weasel-chan~_.]

"Just give the next comment already."

[Fine, _authorchiki039_ – "Tell itachi this "you naughty weasel tachi stealin kakuzu's money! May all fangirls knw where you live"."]

"They may know where I live, but they cannot get to me unless Malice-san allows them to shatter the fourth wall again."

[That can be arranged.]

"But it will not occur because you do not like the work it takes to rebuild it."

[Eh, the entertainment factor makes it worth it, don't worry.]

"Oh _joy_. Just give the next one."

[You should like this one. _Dragonfire2lm_ – "tell Itachi that I said hi...and give him a fangirl repellent...and this Ipod and fifty dollar itunes card. from my naruto fics...enjoy."]

"Why, thank you _Dragonfire2lm_, I appreciate it."

[_Le gasp!_ Itachi can be polite?]

"It occurs when someone actually _tries_ to get on my good side, unlike some specific writer."

[Guilty as charged, 'Tachi-kun~.]

"Stop that."

[Stop what?]

"You know what…"

[What?]

Itachi sighed, "Just give the next one already."

[_teiaramogami_ – "Tell Itachi I said "Hi! And to tell Tobi, I KNOW WHAT HE DID LAST SUMMER!"."]

"Hello," he responded as he opened his phone and sent off a quick text.

Here's the response.

{What is 'Tachi-kun talking about? TOBI'S A GOOD BOY!}

[Sure he is….anyways, here's the next one: _Ookami-no-Seirei_ – "I want to give Itachi root beer... can you give it to him?"]

"Excellent. Now I simply have to create the fanfiction account."

[Ooh! I have an idea! Whoever can name all of the rocks that fall on Hidan's head get to decide what the account is called!]

"No! You cannot do that!"

[Yes I can! I'm the author, remember! Besides, if I don't, you'll just pick something extremely boring!]

"Do you even know the names of all the rocks that fell on Hidan's head?"

[…I'll look them up before I publish this chapter.]

"Do you not think that is a bit much for simply naming my fanfiction account?"

[Do you have any better ideas?]

"Perhaps letting me name it on my own?

[Nah! Though I suppose I could take the first ten suggestions and put them in a poll for later!]

"What is the big deal? I am just going to use it once."

[It's fun!...though maybe I should lessen it a little. But what other contest could I do?]

"How about how many rooms we had to go through to find Cin in the first story after Homecoming?"

[Itachi, you are a genius!]

"I am considered a prodigy."

[**ATTENTION ALL READERS! THE FIRST TEN PEOPLE TO RESPOND CORRECTLY WITH THE ANSWER TO THE QUESTION "HOW MANY ROOMS DID THE AKATSUKI HAVE TO GO THROUGH TO FIND CIN IN HER HIDING SPOT IN THE **_**QUIET ON THE CAMPUS**_** SERIES" GET TO SUBMIT THEIR IDEAS FOR ITACHI'S FANFICTION ACCOUNT TO BE IN A POLL! NOT THE ROCKS, ROOMS!**]

"That was unnecessary."

[Just ensuring that people won't spend all their time doing that just yet. Anyways, here's the next comment: __ – "Oh and tell Itachi to tell Hidan that i said "hey, Hi-chan!" and he must say Hi-chan and tell Itachi that he must be blinder than we thougt because Sasori, in puppet form, is waaay shorter Deidara (i realize that i shud have said that earlier but i forgot) and if he ask how i know how tall Sasori is in human form just ignore him"]

"You probably shouldn't have said that last part."

[Shut up and do what it says.]

"Fine."

The response to the text.

{What the _expletive_ Uchiha?}

"It looks like he has not sacrificed for a while. Anyways, Sasori's puppet form might be shorter, but when he is not in his puppet form, he is not quite as short."

[Whatever, ready for the next one?]

"Do I have a choice?"

[Eh, not really. _Annibellee_ – "I WANNA KNOW WHAT WAS REALLY WRONG! XD Tell Itachi to 'weasel' it out of her. ;D LOL, I had to do that. :'D"]

His eyebrow twitched, "Excusing the pun, I will discover what is wrong as soon as I can find her and Malice _will_ tell me."

[Actually, I'm going to be nice and hand over this message: _Midnighter67_ – "Please give itachi a coupon for thirty minutes of silence for me please..." And guess what! It's effective right now!]

His eyes widened, "What are you talking about?"

Heheheh! Neener, neener, neener! You can't hear me~!

"Malice!" he roared.

Anyways, since he can't hear what's going on, let's take a look at what happened earlier today to cause the current events, shall we…?

… **Previously that day …**

Cin knew she looked absolutely terrible.

She had never been overly much caring about her looks besides the requisite looking respectable, but this was different.

She didn't even have to look in a mirror to know this.

Why? Well, for one, she felt absolutely terrible, and secondly, beauty isn't something that really comes with staying up for long nights after working your butt off to prepare for exams, constantly being attacked with the need to heal people in the surrounding areas.

Seriously! How many times could that girl in the room next to her's injure herself in one night? She was constantly guilty of knocking into her furniture, creating numerous bruises.

And even if that girl couldn't see them herself, Cin knew they were there.

It seemed that the more pressure that was put on her, the more in tune she felt with others' injuries, making every bump echo in her chakra.

She hadn't slept one bit, running on caffeine and sheer will power.

If she went to sleep, it would all be over.

She had believed that once they had gone back to her place that she'd get the rest, relaxation, and recuperation that she so desperately needed…too bad that hadn't happened.

See, the Akatsuki hadn't had the training they were used to having practically every day. So when they came back, they were making up for lost time.

And even the best of the best can get injuries, especially if they are sparring against the best of the best.

These injuries didn't mean much to the boys, as you might guess, but it meant a lot to her.

A scrape here, and bruise there, what does it matter?

More than you think.

Sooner or later, one of these straws would break the camel's back, and her chakra would come flowing out.

There was only one thing to do.

She left a note on the kitchen table, saying that she was going to the grocery store, but instead leaving for a spot where she'd be able to relax with no human contact whatsoever.

There, she'd be safe.

She just took with her a small tent, sleeping bag, water, and food, intending to stay there until she had recovered.

And nothing would make her come out earlier short of an emergency.

… **back to current time …**

"Has anyone tried her cell phone?"

"Only fifty times already!"

"Well try again, un!"

_Ring! Ring!_

They turned to look on the countertops where Cin's phone was vibrating completely alone.

Where could she be?

Out of curiosity, Deidara flipped the phone open, and saw a message waiting for them on a memo pad.

{If you are looking at this, I suppose I've been gone long enough for you to start worrying. If I haven't, then you need to relax more. I just can't take it anymore. I'm going to relax. Please don't try to find me.}

They ran for the room under the house.

She was kidnapped again! There was simply no other explanation!

… … … … … … …

[**ATTENTION ALL READERS! THE FIRST TEN PEOPLE TO RESPOND CORRECTLY WITH THE ANSWER TO THE QUESTION "HOW MANY ROOMS DID THE AKATSUKI HAVE TO GO THROUGH TO FIND CIN IN HER HIDING SPOT IN THE **_**QUIET ON THE CAMPUS**_** SERIES" GET TO SUBMIT THEIR IDEAS FOR ITACHI'S FANFICTION ACCOUNT TO BE IN A POLL! NOT THE ROCKS, ROOMS!**]

I just thought I'd repeat it in case anyone's forgotten.

Have fun!

And in the event that I don't manage to update before Christmas, Happy Holidays everyone!

Enjoy the break!


	22. Chapter 22: Christmas Fear

Two convicts are locked in a cell. There is an unbarred window high up in the cell. No matter if they stand on the bed or one on top of the other they can't reach the window to escape. They then decide to tunnel out. However, they give up with the tunneling because it will take too long. Finally one of the convicts figures out how to escape from the cell. What is his plan?

The answer is this:

They dig halfway out, then pile up the dirt into a little mountain they can use to climb out the window. Those people really should've installed bars, shouldn't they?

Sorry, I meant to update yesterday, but I got preoccupied with playing with my new toys. I'm sure I'm not the only one guilty of this, so hopefully I'll be forgiven?

I don't own the Akatsuki, so read on, good readers, read on!

… … … … … … …

Cin opened her eyes as she sat up and stretched, her fingers touching the top of her tent.

Ah, now that was more like it! She had spent the last few days doing nothing more than reading, sleeping, and eating to her heart's content. She felt like a new woman, her chakra not only back where it belonged, but her ability to keep a good grip on it was renewed as well.

Yes, the peace was what had been needed the most of all.

She pulled her legs out of her sleeping bag and went about getting ready to return home.

No doubt the Akatsuki were crazed with worry by now. For a group of crazed psychopathic murderers, they could act pretty mother-henish at times.

Nothing was weirder than trained assassins worrying over you, and that wasn't including the fact that she wasn't used to people worrying over her at all.

Suddenly, it hit her as she glanced at her watch.

She hadn't realized that she had missed Christmas!

…

Normally they would still be running around like chickens with their heads cut off, but excessing amounts of worry are quite tiresome.

Therefore, as you might guess, the Akatsuki are currently lying about the house that they had finished tearing apart trying to find a clue that she might've left behind.

So, to cure some of the boredom that accompanies running out of options, we'll bug Itachi!

"I feel so honored."

[You should be. So you might as well go to another room since we've got a lot of them this time!]

"Oh goody."

But he did get up to go into an unoccupied room.

[Okay, first up is: _Annadrujok_ – "tell Tachi that he can come to my fanfic, where the fourth wall is never broken, if he wants! Also, give him this one-way ticket there, but keep it away from Tobi! Especially if he's allergic to cats! We do not need another Tobi there. Also give Tachi these earmuffs, proven to fix the fourth wall!"]

"It is good to know that there are some people out there that are not annoying."

[Is that supposed to be directed at me?]

"Possibly. I thank her for the earmuffs."

He moved to put them on, but we can't have that, so we'll just lock them away until the end of the Q&A session.

"I hope you realize that what you are doing can be constituted as cruel and unusual punishment."

[Hey, I am the author. It is my prerogative. I thought you had gotten used to it by now.]

"Just tell me who is next already."

[Well, we've got _SakuraDreamerz_ – "To Itachi, I have two things to tell you: One, I have an idea to get rid of the fangirls, but it will need your help in trying to find it. And two, wanna guess which Akatsuki member will have breaking fourth wall power?"]

"I would be delighted in helping with that noble cause…and as for the second question, I presume that you are referring to that story you are collaborating with Malice-san on? If I had to guess, I would infer Deidara since he would possibly have the best reactions, something that you authors seem to take into consideration when making decisions."

[Aw, 'Tachi-kun, you know me so well!]

"We have been over the nicknames, I believe."

[Speaking of nicknames, _AnimeVamp1997_ – "Tell Ita-Chan that I like calling him weasel-chan and HE CANNOT STOP ME!"]

He gritted his teeth.

[Don't do that! It's bad for you!]

He glared, but said nothing.

[Oh, there's something else involving nicknames! __ – "Tell Itachi that I thank him for saying hi to Hi-chan for me but because of the fact that he back sassed me on the subject of Sasori's height (and yes I know that Sasori is taller that Deidara in human form, Sasori in human form being 5'7" while Deidara is 5'5") I feel that I must inform him that Sasori is in puppet form right now, his puppet form only being 5'4". Adding in the fact that Sasori cannot go back and forth between human and puppet forms as he pleases, unless he dies and comes back as a zombie, I feel that he had no right to back sass me and his punishment for doing so is to call the Akatsuki the following names for the next week. Kakuzu = Zuzu-kun, Hidan = Hi-chan, Kisame = Kisa-kun, Sasori = Saso-kun, Tobi-chan, Zetsu-kun and Deidara = Dei-dei-kun. He is not allowed to refuse this request and if he ever talks back to me again, remember, this is only the tip of the iceberg." *takes deep breath before nearly passing out due to the sheer amount of words* ]

"I will simply not talk. Unlike some other members of the Akatsuki, I am perfectly able to keep my mouth shut."

[Don't count on it. She says that if you say that, to remind you that your punishment will only be worse.]

"I hate you, you sellout."

[Aw, I hate you too. Next! _Dragonfire2lm_ – "to Itachi, I don't try to be nice, I am nice to those i respect, you are no.2 on my 'most respected Akatsuki members' list, Pain is No.1 on my list, I respect him the most, he's awesome. Merry Christmas to the author and cast of quiet on campus!"]

"I am perfectly fine with Pein being the better-loved. It is less attention on me. So Merry Christmas to you as well…it certainly is strange that Cin would not be here for this time of year."

[Yeah, well, moving on…oh, this looks good! _Narinu Narasu_ – "and to itachi i wanna say that i feel for him. and he should ask kisame if he would eat sweets shaped like sharks or would that be considered cannibalism to him. and if he ever thinks of kisame if he hears the song "follow me" by uncle kraker."]

He raised an eyebrow, "Why would I think of Kisame for that song? What is that song anyways?"

[You can look it up after this chapter's done. We're on a tight schedule here.]

"I am not the one delaying the chapter."

[Shut up Uchiha. _Stargazer77_ – "In case you do get to update before Christmas (and even if you don't XD) will you tell Itachi Merry Christmas for me please? Actually I want the wish the entire Akatsuki Merry Christmas! Even S-class Criminals deserve some holiday cheer! XD And just cause my dad put me in the mood today: *Gives Itachi a cup of my dad's special mix of hot chocolate with marshmellows* (It's the best! XD)"]

Itachi took a cautious sip, before giving a rare smile, "It certainly is good. Thank you."

And about a thousand fangirls faint at the sight while a thousand more scramble for the new cameras they persuaded their parents to get them for Christmas.

"Hn."

[And…the moment is gone. Well, no point trying to salvage it. _Klu891_ – "Anyways, question for Itachi- What kind of shampoo do you use to make your hair so soft? Oh, and same question for Dei :D"]

"We both use the same brand. Usually it is simply whatever we can find on hand, but we have become rather partial to _Raven Explosion_ since Cins started getting it for us."

[Aw, isn't that sweet!]

"I hope you get a cavity."

[Not nice! More torture time! _Ari Akaryuu_ – "Hiya, can you tell Itachi that I feel for him? And in the spirit of season's vicomte, pass this on from me. *gives author-proof earmuffs* that way he can wear them in the cold and not look stupid. And give Cin an "it'll-get-better" hug from me."]

"I appreciate the methods of blocking out Malice-san this year."

[I'll have you know that…]

"Yes, yes, we have heard it before. As for the hug, if we ever find Cin, I suppose I can give it to her, though why does she need an "it'll-get-better" hug?"

[No reason you need to know about right now.]

"Is it something that will come back to trouble me later?"

[Of course.]

"Of course it is. Next?"

[*evil grin* You'll regret asking that, 'Tachi-kuuun!]

"Why is that?"

[Well, the winner of the poll is ItaSasucest4evah. Isn't that great?]

He spat out the chocolate he was still drinking.

"You have got to be kidding me."

[Why?]

"Even you cannot be so cruel."

[Why can't I?]

"I can tell when you're lying, Malice-san."

[Eh, no hablo ingles!]

"In what universe would that actually work?"

[I'm guessing not this one? Okay, so maybe not. The truth is, I never got around to putting up the poll since there weren't enough suggestions, so _JLWafflezMan_ is considering whether or not to make that a stipulation of his bargain. The other option is from _Xanime4lifeX_, and it's SmexyDangoEatingMan]

"That is enough," he glared, "I will get out the WoMFD if this keeps up."

[I hope you realize that what you are doing can be constituted as cruel and unusual punishment.]

He smirked, "Hey, I am the guy who murdered his clan. It is my prerogative. I thought you had gotten used to it by now."

[Hey, stop mocking me!]

But he shoved on the earmuffs I hadn't locked away, signaling the end of the conversation.

Stupid Uchiha.

…

Cin's plan was to sneak in through her room to grab the presents and sneak downstairs to hide them under the tree, all without the Akatsuki catching her.

But that would require me to actually let one of her plans work for once.

So, in a moment sponsored by _Annadrujok_, Cin pulled herself into her room only to see a figure there. Hearing her, he turned around to show it was Kakuzu.

And he wasn't wearing his mask.

Scream or faint.

Scream or faint.

Jeez, such a hard decision!

So, being Cin, she decided to do both.

… … … … … … …

Cliffhanger! You know you love them, don't try to tell me otherwise!

Out of curiosity, I'll post the poll with the two options, and we'll leave it up to _JLWafflezMan_ to decide if he wants his idea to pass through.

Yay for dodging responsibility!

RERV!

(yes, the V for vote is back for the moment!)


	23. Chapter 23: Control

Oh no! I'm so sorry that I haven't updated since last year! I hope everyone will forgive me for their long wait!

Anyways, I think I might have an idea of where to put this plot, so yay! Let's just hope it sticks! So thanks to _YukoxxxIchikawa_, since messaging with her has given me a brief idea on what I want to do and where I want to go!

Anyways, here's your riddle!

A man was found dead in his study. He was slumped over his desk and a gun was in his hand. There was a cassette recorder on his desk. When the police entered the room and pressed the play button on the tape recorder they heard: "I can't go on. I have nothing to live for." Then there was the sound of a gunshot. How did the detective immediately know that the man had been murdered and it wasn't a suicide?

So, take your best shot, and remember…

RER!

…

_ - - Interrupted Transmission - - _

**Christopher? Are you there?**

Who's Christopher?

**Don't mess around with me, Kit, now report in.**

Who's kit? For that matter, who are you lady?

**You are the owner of this phone, aren't you?**

No, I just found it on the ground and picked it up a moment ago.

**Joy. Put it back where you found it, and don't pick up strange phones anymore.**

Ok

_ - - Transmission Ends - - _

… … … … … … …

Cin woke up to a bunch of furious Akatsuki members.

"Heh, heh, Merry Christmas?" she said hopefully, praying that it would ameliorate matters.

Silly Cin, you know better.

"Where were you, un?"

"Hiding."

"From?"

"You guys."

"Why?"

"Secret."

"Do you have any idea how worried we were, un?"

"Do you have any idea how weird you sound, _mother_?"

"Itachi! Knock some sense into her, un!"

"Are you actually asking me for help?"

"No!"

"Well, I'll just excuse myself now…"

"SIT DOWN!"

The room echoed in its complete and utter silence.

"Now," Kisame took in a deep breath, "Why did you run away, Cin? Be honest, we can tell if you are lying."

She looked a little uncomfortable, and fidgeted in her seat, "I just wanted some alone time, that's all."

"It's not all," Kakuzu retorted, "You would be able to have alone time by locking you up in that panic room you have."

She made a face; it was true after all.

What were the benefits of keeping it a secret anyways? She hadn't expected them to worry so much. Not to mention the fact that they might be able to help her. So was it pride? No, it couldn't be. She had never really been a proud person.

"It's my powers," she said, mumbling a bit, "I think something's wrong with them."

… … … …

And so we'll take a break with Itachi-san, away from all that drama as I freeze-frame that previous scene to make him answer questions!

"If I answer questions, will you do the same for me?"

[Highly unlikely. Anyways, firstly, we've got _SakuraDreamerz_ – "And to Itachi: One, thanks! Alright, I am planning to make a special timer that can get rid of the fangirls for short OR long periods of time (it looks like a handheld kitchen timer, only its set on days than minutes), however I need these items to make it: 2 pieces of ubatonium, some of Konan's paper, Deidara's clay, some of Sasori's poison, a grandfather clock, some data chips from another world (you are going to have to actually go through the world in order to find the chips), and some quick-dry paint. Think you can do it, Itachi? And 2: It is from our collaboration, and sheesh! You're one smart guesser! *giggles* Could you please text to Deidara that he will experience the same things as you soon?"]

"Why is it that I have to do so much stuff to get people to leave me alone?" he sighed as he sent out a quick text: {Deidara, I have received word that you shall be experiencing the breaking of the fourth wall. Be ready.}.

[Because that's life, don't 'cha know? Next, we have _Narnia is real so stop lyin 2 urselfs_ (note, I have been informed that the name keeps getting deleted from the chapter, so I have inserted spaces in an attempt to make sure it sticks around. Hope it works!) – "and tell Ita-kun that for being a good little weasel he'll get a present at the end of the week (haven't decided exactly what it is yet though, I'm much better at torturing people than being nice to them by buying presents but there's not much I can do about that no can i ^:_:^)"]

"Well, if there is one benefit, it is the gifts. So thank you in advance."

[Greedy weasel.]

"You are one to talk, Malice-san."

[Whatever. Next is _Lyric the Kunoichi cat_ – "Also, Tell Itachi this. "You should be nicer to Malice. She seems like a very nice person. Also, please tell Hidan, 'Losersayswhat?' If he responds i can die happy.""]

"Obviously these people have never met you."

[Oh, like you have!]

"I have done one step better than that. I have been written into a story by you."

[Well, in order to finish up the rest of that, we'll just pop Hidan into this little area. So get to work, weasel-chan~!]

Hidan suddenly appeared, "What's going on! Where am I!"

Itachi took a deep breath, "Losersayswhat?"

Hidan's eyes bugged out of his head, "What the _expletive_ are you _expletive_ing talking about!"

[Expletive.]

The resultant basalt was enough to knock him out a moment before we made him disappear again.

"You just like torturing him."

[I will not dignify that with a response.]

"Because it is true."

[_Zira the insane one_ – "And...please tell Itachi that I feel for him, and that I have a question for him. How did you become able to hear us in the first place? How did you break the fourth wall back in the first story?"]

"I do not think it was something that I did to break the fourth wall, Zira-san. From what I have gathered, Malice-san did that for kicks after reading a fanfiction in which I had some telepathic powers, wanting to do her own little twist on stories where I had extra senses and the like."

[At least it worked out great! _ShanaShakaku_ – "ANYWAYS, could you tell 'Tachi-kun that he's lucky Malice-chan isn't a yaoi or incest writer and that he should appreciate the fact that she is writing an awesome fanfic!"]

"The part about an 'awesome fanfic' would be a bit debatable, since I am sure that Cin would be thought to be a Mary Sue by some other readers, as well as the plot being childish and the themes superficial..."

[Shut up Uchiha!]

"But I suppose I should be grateful that Malice-san is not a yaoi or incest writer, you are right about that."

[Hmph. And finally there is _Annibellee_ who wants to wish the Akatsuki a "Merry Belated Christmas".]

"Thank you for your well-wishes, _Annibellee_-san."

[Well, now that that's over, we'll just drop Itachi-kun back into the little tableau!]

… … … … …

_ - - Interrupted Transmission - - _

**Christopher, is that you?**

Yeah, it's me. Still hate that name, by the way.

**Don't leave your cell phone around. Someone might pick it up again.**

Yeah yeah, I get it. Anyways, I've got a quick report.

**Well, get to it.**

Cin's chakra's been feeling a little…weird, lately.

**Define weird.**

Like it wants to explode.


	24. Chapter 24: Trouble

For those of you who haven't solve it yet, here's the riddle again. But congratulations to _JLWafflezMan_ and _Konri Kari_ for being the first to solve the riddle!

A man was found dead in his study. He was slumped over his desk and a gun was in his hand. There was a cassette recorder on his desk. When the police entered the room and pressed the play button on the tape recorder they heard: "I can't go on. I have nothing to live for." Then there was the sound of a gunshot. How did the detective immediately know that the man had been murdered and it wasn't a suicide?

… … … … … … …

- - Transmission Continued - -

**What do you mean by that, Christopher?**

Exactly what I said.

**And you didn't say this earlier because…?**

Because I was trying to place the feeling! I don't know about you, but I've never come across chakra that feels ready to explode like this! It was when I was seeing some fireworks some people had set off on New Years that it finally connected.

…

Does it mean anything to you?

**I'll have to do some research into this. Keep an eye on her, especially when you go back to school.**

- - Transmission Lost - -

…

"Something's wrong with your powers, un?" Deidara asked after deciding that the silence had gone on for long enough.

Cin took a deep breath as she nodded, "Since exams started, it's been steadily getting worse. I thought it was just stress…I thought that once I could get away from the stressful environment, I'd be able to recover. But the power just kept leaking when we went home. You kept getting injured, and the power kept seeping out. Then I figured that if I was away from people for a bit, I could rebuild my walls. So I went where I could be alone, away from everyone else…but ever since I've gotten back, it's been starting to seep again."

"Is that why you fainted?" Kakuzu asked.

She smiled weakly, "Partly it was the shock, but maybe the shock loosened my grip enough to lose a huge chunk of chakra all at once. Thinking back on it, it must've been leaking since before you guys came back, I just didn't notice it before that since I wasn't using it nearly as often…"

And then Itachi was there, looking closely at her. Finally, he sighed and moved back.

"It would be better to have a Hyuuga here in order to see if there is something wrong with the chakra pathways."

"Wait, so Uchiha can't do _expletive_ing anything?"

"_Expletive_," Cin responded, and gave a little wince as she felt the chakra try to help repair Hidan's head, crushed by the rock that came from her swear. I believe it was limestone this time.

Itachi stared the Jashinist right in the eye, "The Sharingan may be able to see the flow of chakra, but a person possessing the Byakugan would be able to see the chakra pathway system in entirety. It would be inadvisable for me to attempt to fix something that I believe to see, only to discover it is something else and that I had only worsened the damage."

The Akatsuki all were silent.

"So all we have to do is kidnap a member of the Hyuuga clan. Right, that's not hard at ALL, un."

"Your sarcasm is not appreciated, Deidara."

"Shut up, Uchiha!"

…

Tsunade came flying like a flash from the Hokage office, seeking out the head of the Hyuuga clan.

"Can chakra explode?" were the first things out of her mouth the very moment she saw him.

He looked taken aback at that.

"Excuse me?"

"Can…chakra…explode?" she spoke as though talking to a small child.

His eyes widened.

"Who's chakra?"

"Cindra Laeh."

"The healer?"

"The very same."

"How reliable is this information?"

"Very."

"Not good," he whispered, before whirling and practically running to the heart of the Hyuuga estate where the library was kept, passing wide-eyed Hyuugas, shocked at their clan head actually _running_ through their halls, Tsunade doing her best to keep up in the verifiable maze, "Not good at all."

…

In a dark cave, somewhere, three figures sat in near darkness, silent, until one of them spoke, of course.

"Would it kill you to turn on a light?"

"Sorry," the figure moved to light the room.

"Much better. Why were we sitting there with the lights off anyways?"

"Atmosphere."

The third figure never said a word, barely even blinking when the lights came up, content to sit there in the dark.

… … … … … … …

So it looks like Cin's fainting actually does have something to do with the plot. How odd! I was just doing it for comic relief, you know, with the whole "something bad/unusual/daunting occurs and Cin reacts promptly by fainting" scenario, and now it has a purpose!

Cool!

Stay tuned in for a little extra chapter up in a bit that was supposed to take place during the Christmas season.

5

…

4

…

3

…

2

…

1

…

HERE IT IS!

… … … … … … …

Itachi retraced the steps he had taken last year, and again yesterday, to get to the post-office. He was going again today to get a package that MaliceArchangela had said that a reader had sent to him.

He was just hoping it wasn't going to be a person jumping out of the box at him.

But as he received the package, he knew that it was much too small for any fangirl to pop out of, no matter how much reality was bent for that. He nodded to the workers and rushed over to the alley we remember him going to from last year.

He opened the package and saw an envelope and a sealed box inside. Opening the box first, he gave a soft smile at seeing dango and onigiri with seaweed inside. Linden Village didn't really make those items, and he felt like it had been forever since he had eaten them…even if someone had sent him dango rather recently.

Then he turned to the envelope, slicing it open carefully with a kunai, noting the message that said "Two more for your collection - _narnia is real so stop lyin 2 urselfs_". Two pieces of paper fell out. The first one was a picture of Sasuke with the two louder members of his team and Nekobaa in front of a huge sheet of paper that had a huge paw print on it. But what really made his day was the second picture, one of Sasuke with a pair of cat ears on, scowling a bit.

Maybe fangirls weren't so bad after all.

…

"Why did you show them that, Malice-san?" Itachi asked, his eye twitching.

[For fun! Anyways, since you're in such a good mood towards fangirls, you can answer some questions!]

"No."

[It's only three! Please!]

"Do I have a choice?"

[Not at all!]

"Then fine."

[Yay! _AnimeVamp1997 – _"To Itachi: ITAAAAAA-CHAAAAANNN~! No. I-chan? That isn't right either... I GOTS IT! CHI-CHAN! That is your new name from now on! But then again.. I could call you wrinkles or pink eye.. Nah. I like Chi-chan better~ Oh and HAPPY BELATED NEW YEARS BEEYOTCH. :D"]

"I suppose any threat I attempt to make will be useless?"

[Yep.]

"And any showing of annoyance will make them more likely to tease me?"

[Most likely.]

"Right…" he sighed, "Next."

[_SakuraDreamerz_ – "Plus, could you also ask Itachi to give this to Deidara? *gives you a 'breaking 4th wall preview card'* That way he can talk to you and still remember this after the card has expired!"]

"Right, you said that Deidara should be able to hear you in that little collaboration you and _SakuraDreamerz_ are doing?"

[Exactly.]

"Fun. Next."

[_The Paradoxical Otaku_ – "Itachi-kun~ Mind doing me a favor? Help meh pass these special candies out to the rest of the gang. And a special chakra-fixer candy to Cin. It be whatever flavor you want it to be! :D And you get a piece of ubatonium for helping!"]

"Thank you," he bowed his head in a courtesy gesture.

[And…that's all the time we've got today, so see ya'll sometime again soon!]


	25. Chapter 25:  Cliffhangers

Well, sorry for the late update, but I've been really busy…and instead of boring you all with exactly _why_ I couldn't update, I'll just get to the point of WHY you are here.

But first, riddle-me-this…

A man was found dead in his study. He was slumped over his desk and a gun was in his hand. There was a cassette recorder on his desk. When the police entered the room and pressed the play button on the tape recorder they heard: "I can't go on. I have nothing to live for." Then there was the sound of a gunshot. How did the detective immediately know that the man had been murdered and it wasn't a suicide?

This should be clearer to those of us who remember the days of VHS and VCRs. It makes me miss some of my old movies that we can't exactly watch since we only have one VCR…I think.

But here's the answer…

The cassette had started at the beginning of the man's utterance. Someone else had to be there to rewind the tape.

Congratulations to those who managed to get it right or even slightly close to the answer.

RERV!

… … … … …

Cin was currently down in the safe-room. The thick walls and the earth surrounding the basement seemed to be able to block out the feeling of people needing to be healed.

So upstairs was where the Akatsuki were discussing whether or not to call Pein about this development.

Right when they were wrapping up the discussion, with the decision to call him and hope he could come immediately, the front doorbell rang.

** - - Interrupted Transmission - - **

**Christopher, we're sending in Hyuuga and team.**

Who? What? When? Where? Why? How?

…**I just knew college would be bad for you.**

Just answer the questions, baa-chan.

**I thought I had broken you of that habit.**

Come ON! We're on a tight schedule, aren't we?

**Hinata. Neji. Shino. Tenten Now. Cin's house. Investigate Chakra. How else?**

I don't think that's gonna work. The Akatsuki follow her around whenever they can, and if they know, there's no way they'll leave her alone.

**They'll cooperate for this.**

How do you know?

**Because she's no use to them dead.**

** - - Lost transmission - - **

Pein and Konan walked in a moment of such extreme coincidence that it couldn't be anything but _deus ex machina_.

"What are you doing here, un?" Deidara yelled out.

Pein raised an eyebrow, "Is there something wrong with us being here?"

"No, just extremely coincidental," Kakuzu admitted, "We were just going to send for you."

"Why?"

"Cin."

"What about Cin?" Konan asked hesitantly.

"There's something wrong with her."

"You mean besides the fact that she enjoys hanging around a bunch of S-class criminals?" Pein asked jokingly.

Usually the group responded eagerly if he made one of his rare jokes.

The fact that they were just looking at him spoke volumes.

"What did you do?" he hissed, eyes narrowing.

"Nothing," Itachi responded, "Her chakra feels like it's going to explode, that's all."

…

"Finally!" Naruto exclaimed as he finally caught sight of the fresh team, and ran out of the building to greet them.

The quartet skidded to a stop in front of him and stared.

"Naruto-kun?" Hinata asked.

"Of course it's me, Hinata-chan, can't ya tell?"

Suddenly, Tenten started snickering, "I think you're forgetting something."

"Huh, what are you talking about?"

It looked like Neji and Shino were also snickering, just a tad.

"What is it, guys?"

"Naruto-kun," Hinata handed over a mirror, "Look at your face…"

…

Okay, so while the others are continuing to fill Pein in, we'll borrow Itachi for the question-answering stuff.

"Just make it fast."

[Don't worry, there's not that many this time.]

"Then get going already."

[_AnimeVamp1997_ – "To Chi-chan: HELLLOO CHI-CHAN! I am bored. SOOO~ I decided to do something nice for once. Here. *Hands box with mysterious contents* I'm going to tell Malice-chan the contents, but you cannot open it until after Cin's problem is over, and you have to open it in front of everyone. It's for you and everyone else after all. KEEP IT IN A VERY SAFE PLACE OR ELSE YOU HAVE A VERY AGONIZINGLY TORTUROUS DEATH OKAY? Fufufu~ That's not an empty threat, alright~? :D]

"I am dreading this, but very well."

[It's a good idea to dread this.]

"Thank you for the vote of confidence, Malice."

[Any time! Next - _narnia is real so stop lyin 2urselfs_ – "YAYZ! My package arrived! Tell him I'm glad he liked it! And he's right fangirls arent always bad it's just the insane ones which is 90% of them.]

"Yes, well, I hope you do not do something to make me change my opinion."

[_Klu891 _ - "For the weasel- Suggestions to fix the fourth wall that are kinda dumb but may work(and that could very well in in failure, but I like to stay on the optimistic side!): 1. DUCT TAPE. It can fix almost anything. If that doesn't work then use super glue. It's pretty much the same as duct tape, but gets all  
>over your hand, is messier and doesn't come in wacky colors. All you have to do it find the break in the wall and cover it with one or both of the above. Don't really know if it works that way, but I have seen duct tape and super glue perform miracles. Good luck ItachiWeasel-kun :D"]

"I will keep that in mind, but with all the trouble I am going through, this had _better_ work."

The "or else" was left unspoken, but yet was extremely tangible in the air.

"Is that even possible?"

[It is for me. Anyways, time for your account that we've set up, ready for _JLWafflezMan_'s solution to the breaking of the fourth wall. The winner is… _ItaSasucest4evah_!]

If Itachi was drinking something at this moment, he surely would have snorted it everywhere.

"_**WHAT?**_"

[You heard me.]

"You are insane!"

[Oh, you just now noticed? And don't blame me, the readers voted for it.]

"I take back every nice thing I said about you!"

[Well, that's not very nice.]

"Nor is making me use that name."

[So I guess it's a good thing that I lied then?]

"Yes, it is a…what did you say?"

[I lied. The winner is _SmexyDangoEatingMan_ submitted by _Xanime4lifeX_.]

"I…guess that's not so bad…"

[Good, now we'll just drop you back in the story and be on our merry way!]

…

The Akatsuki led Leader and Konan down to where they had left Cin.

They opened the door, led them through the various rooms.

But the final room was empty.

…

Cin snapped awake as the side of her head hit the unforgiving wall next to where she had been sleeping.

How she had done that, she wasn't quite sure. And to any readers skeptical of how she managed to hit the side of her head against the wall right next to her while unconscious, I will tell you that it is possible. If you still think not, then tell that to the side of my head, which is still sore from my mishap like this from yesterday.

Don't ask me how, but it's possible. I have progressed to a new level of clumsiness. I have managed to injure myself while unconscious.

So Cin has too, because she's just as clumsy as me.

Right, author rant over, as Cin's rubbing her head and looking around, wondering how she had managed to whack her head hard enough against the wall while unconscious to momentarily take her focus away from the pounding pain still echoing in her head.

Then something occurred to her.

This wasn't her room.

Right, she was sleeping in the basement.

But this wasn't the basement either.

In fact, she was sure that no portion of her house resembled a dungeon with a cold chill and flickering candles.

She could be wrong, Alexander could've always added something extra without her knowing.

But she somehow doubted that, just a smidge.

Where was she?

… … … … …

You know what one good thing about having multiple viewpoints going on is?

You can pack multiple cliff-hangers into the same story!

And like I said, the incident with the whacking of a head against the wall next to the bed IS possible! And it HURTS!

It still is tender. We're all baffled on how exactly I managed to hit the wall with enough force while unconscious on my bed.

Guess it's like the tootsie pop mystery.

The world will never know…

Thanks for reading, and Review please!


	26. Chapter 26: Liar, Liar

And here's your new riddle:

Five minus two equals four. How is that possible?

Sorry for the late updates. If my writing seems disjointed, then it should be a combination of sleep deprivation and the fact that I might be joining sabre squad. And those people will hit for my head and face if given the chance.

… … … … …

Cin was a liar.

That was a word that seemed to be applying more and more to her in every day that passed.

She'd say it was to help with the Akatsuki's peace of mind, but we all know that she's really not that selfless.

The thing was that it was something between pride and the fact that she didn't want them hovering over her.

But in all honesty, hiding out in the basement helped as much as being chased by the Akatsuki's fangirls.

Needless to say, that means it didn't help at all.

Maybe it was the fact that their emotions and high states of chakra was making it so that she could easily feel them with her power, even from where she lay deep in the earth, but all she knew was that the headache was growing again, begging for her to simply release the power and be able to relax.

She said that she was fine in the cellar.

That was a lie.

So she snuck up to the attic, keeping a firm grip on her abilities as she did so, and escaped out the secret passageway up there.

And then she started walking away from the house, needing some way to relax.

Now, considering what we know, not only of what usually happens in stories where there are dangers awaiting, but also taking knowledge from the previous chapter, we know that relaxation isn't exactly what she's going to find.

Also, that Cin has yet to really learn that she really needs to be more careful.

To be honest though, I'm sure that it's difficult to be rational when you've got the equivalent of a migraine beating on the inside of your head.

…

Naruto let out a strangled gasp at his (sorry, _her_) appearance, and quickly dropped the henge, even as the others laughed as he lost the blonde pigtails for his usual blond cropped hair.

"So that was your disguise?" Tenten laughed, "A girl?"

Naruto made a face, "Hey, Cin knew what a good portion of us looked like! She wouldn't have expected Akiko to be me!"

"_Sure_, _Christopher_," Neji drawled out.

"Don't call me that!" Naruto snarled.

"Let us just get to the house," Shino interrupted, "I was under the impression that this was a matter of great urgency?"

"Oh right!" Naruto exclaimed, dropping his rage in an instant, "Follow me!"

…

"Would _anyone_ care to tell me exactly how this happened?" when Pein broke out his ice voice, you knew you were in BIG trouble, "How you managed to let a teenaged civilian escape?"

No one really wanted to touch that with even a fifty-foot pole. They just kept their eyes on their pacing leader, a morbid curiosity keeping them there to see who he would pick to try to explain.

You know the saying "saved by the bell"? Yeah, that doesn't happen.

However, they are saved by the knocking on the front door.

The very loud knocking that threatened to knock the door down until Leader finally stomped over to it and pull it open.

"_What_?" he hissed, before seeing the wide-eyed faces of the Konoha shinobi.

"We're not here to fight!" the loud blond one exclaimed, "We're here to help, believe it!"

"Go _away_," Pein growled and tried to close the door, but the blond stuck a foot in the door (probably not the best idea as his face immediately contorted in pain.

The white-eyed Hyuuga girl spoke up then.

"P-p-please, w-w-we j-j-j-ust want to h-h-help…"

"Why? Cin is on our side, not yours."

"She can still change her mind," the Hyuuga boy backed the girl up, "Not to mention the consequences of what will occur if her chakra is allowed to explode could be disastrous for everyone."

"I do not think you will be able to help. Leave."

"We're helping whether you want us to or not!" the blond seemed to have recovered by now.

"It would be rather difficult to help if the object needing help is not here."

That confused them.

"Cin has been abducted."

…

"Now what?" Itachi sighed.

[What do you think? I need you to do fan service again!]

"You could have done this earlier instead of freezing the scene."

[No time then. Now let's get cracking! _Akatsuki FTW_ – "Itachi is sooooo awesome. Itachi, try using duck tape or diamonds they work well on people. Oh btw tell deidara he needs therapy. He needs to figure out weather he's a guy or a girl."]

"I will pass the message on some time after time is unfrozen. Thank you. Next."

[Thursday.]

"What?"

[Sorry, book I'm reading…]

"You are reading while you are talking to me?"

[Hey, give me a break. I only just connected the synapses to realize that my college library does have more than just research texts, and I'm taking advantage of it to read a series that I liked but not enough to pay over $9.99 for my own copy on a nook.]

"Nobody cares."

[I care.]

"You do not count. Now, if you please, next."

[I do not please.]

"And I repeat, nobody cares. Just say the next message."

[Fine *pouting*. _AnimeVamp1997_ – "To Chi-chan: HELLLOO CHI-CHAN! I am bored. SOOO~ I decided to do something nice for once. Here. *Hands box with mysterious contents* I'm going to tell Malice-chan the contents, but you cannot open it until after Cin's problem is over, and you have to open it in front of everyone. It's for you and everyone else after all. KEEP IT IN A VERY SAFE PLACE OR ELSE YOU HAVE A VERY AGONIZINGLY TORTUROUS DEATH OKAY? Fufufu~ That's not an empty threat, alright~? :D]

Itachi raised an eyebrow.

"I am not going to like this, am I, Malice-san?"

[I am not at liberty to answer this question.]

"I will take that as a yes."

[No, take it as…well…um…fine, have it your way!]

"I usually do."

[Shut up, Uchiha. _Metal Butter_– "Yay! An update!

Oh, and-(gestures at deus ex machina)-that was very uncalled for.

This cliffhanger makes me want to kick a puppy, so please.

Update.

For the sake of the puppies. And/or kittens.

SO! Itachi's dare-go write some ItaSasu or ItaShi, OR you may pick the closest person to declare 'Eye marie tardde' really fast. Preferably Pein, but we can't always choose things can we?"]

…

[Aren't you going to answer?]

"You told me to shut up."

[Stop taking things so literally!]

"What do they even mean, "Eye marie tardde"?"

[Beats me.]

"And you are having me do it anyway?"

[You _could_ always…]

"No."

[Then we have no other choice. I guess I'll just pop Pein in here for a moment…]

Pein appeared.

"Pein, someone wants you to say 'Eye marie tardde' really fast."

"Eye marie tardde" Pein spoke quickly and was popped back into the real universe with no memory of the encounter. Sorry, but it's kinda hard to make something funny if you don't know what's going on and _Metal Butter_ hadn't responded back yet.

"Just get on with it."

[Okay, pick a door out of three.]

"Why?"

[You get a prize.]

"No thanks."

[Do it.]

"Three."

[Is that your final answer?]

"Yes."

[You sure?]

"Just finish it."

[Kay, here it is.]

A package appeared in Itachi's hands, and cautiously opened it.

"How did she get a picture of Sasuke wearing a bunny costume?"

[Don't ask me.]

"Whatever, just move on."

[_JLWafflezMan_ – "... Poor, Poor Tachi-chan... He didn't make the dead line... Very well! Since I am 1) Feelin generous today; 2) Feel as devious as Malice-dono herself right now; and 3) Want to see how this would play out to the end: I shall extend the deadline to chapter 40! Although, if Tachi-kun HAD managed to get it by this chapter, the total Break Count would have been... 426! Tell Itachi about his lucky deadline extension and tell him to GET IT DONE! NO THIRD CHANCES!"]

"I honestly could not have broken the wall that many times."

[You did. Get over it.]

"And what does he mean I did not make the deadline? I got everything!"

[Yeah, but I forgot to tell you what do with it all.]

It's a good thing I'm out of reach of the Uchiha glare right now.

His eye was twitching, "Then how about you tell me now then?"

[Okay, here it is. "This is what he needs to do. First, Itachi needs to get Cin to swear some Adimantium containing rocks onto Hidan's head. Then, Itachi needs to trap Tobi in the Adimantium. Afterwards, he feeds Tobi the root beer; ALL of it. He then needs to borrow a rubber duck from Kisame and $20 from Kakuzu. with the money he must buy the one of those cheap, plastic, robotic hand thing (you know, the ones that have buttons for each finger). Then he must get Sasori to attach chackra strings to the most moveable joints in Tobis body and the other ends to each finger button on the robotic arm. Next he must annoy Dei by squeaking the rubber ducky, and then blame it on Tobi. Tobi will be moving around a lot now so he must hold the robotic arm over a keyboard and have it type. It doesnt matter if its actual words or not. after the 3 gallons of root beer induced sugar high has worn off, he is to post the document as a story on fanfiction under the title, A Ninja's Sugar High Twitches."]

"You do realize that this would have been something nice to know _before_ Cin was abducted and when I therefore actually had time to do this?"

[I am aware. And this is one of the benefits of a comedy/parody story. People aren't too upset if your timeline is wacky, or if you are speaking to an imaginary character that is speaking back.]

"Well what am I supposed to do?"

[Well, wait for Cin to swear. She's been abducted, she'll probably start swearing sooner or later, and when things happen, we'll pull the people needed to accomplish this. Okay? Well it looks like this has gone on too long, so see you later!]

"Wait!"

…

"So you managed to lose her?" the elder Hyuuga asked skeptically.

"Not exactly, Cin-chan was abducted," Tobi responded cheerfully.

"And that makes things _sooo_ much better," Neji answered.

"You can either belittle what has happened through no fault of our own or you may help us get her back."

"Why would we do that?" Shino spoke up.

"She's no use to you if she's dead either," Pein smirked.

… … … … …

Yeah, I double-casted Naruto.

For the Christopher-thing, I did have a way to get to that point. It's not _completely_ random.

Naruto - Kyuubi - Kitsune - Kit - Christopher (read somewhere that "Kit" is a nickname for "Christopher")

So there you go!

Review please so that we can save Cin!


	27. Chapter 27: Don't Fix It

It looks like I've got some new readers! Welcome! I'm impressed with the fact that you read so much for fanfiction, and that you thought my story was good enough to keep reading!

And yes, the answer to the riddle is this: FIVE – F_ _ E = IV = 4

Gotta go, but I hope everyone enjoys!

… … … … …

If this was a movie (or if Cin had any common sense whatsoever), the main character would be very freaked out by where she was and the fact that there were snakes crawling everywhere.

Cin was just glad to have some respite from that continuous pounding that had been drumming quite persistently on the inside of her head.

Besides, she liked snakes. Obviously she wasn't getting too close (they looked poisonous), but she enjoyed cooing at them and watching them slither back and forth. She could feel their minds press against hers…she hoped this new development wasn't bad. It felt cool, kind of like actually holding them in her hands. Many people would disagree, but she thought it was kind of comforting.

"Hey there," she smiled at the closest serpent, a dark black with a white underbelly, a black mamba to be precise, "What are you doing here?"

There was no verbal response, not that she really expected it to. But the soft feeling intensified in response.

She decided to take that as a positive thing rather than a sign that she was about to be bitten.

Hypnotized by those eyes, she cautiously reached out a hand, heedless of danger, only to stop short as she remembered herself and pulled back, lying back down on the stone ledge, relishing in the soft hisses that soothed her aching mind.

As she closed her eyes, she felt the cool scales trail over her arm for a moment with a gesture of comfort before settling down beside her.

She was suddenly glad that it was a smaller venomous snake. If it was a constrictor, she might suspect that it was sizing her up to see if it could swallow her.

She didn't know where she was, but panicking would only serve to possibly excite the snakes into a fury.

There was nothing she could do now, but wait for her captor to arrive. That, rest, and feel the cool texture of scales.

Not the ideal, but it was what she had…

Her eyes opened quickly, "_Expletive_."

She had forgotten to do the dishes. The Akatsuki surely wouldn't do it.

Cin feared what would be growing in the sink when she returned.

… … …

[And here we are in Itachi's attempts to fix the Fourth Wall!]

"Whoop-di-do."

[Hey, cheer up, Cin just swore some Adamantium in. You can get started.]

"Can you not just write it fixed?"

[Where would the fun be in that? And let me remind you that you're the only one that _wants_ it fixed.]

"You do not have a little voice in your head."

[But I have a cricket on my shoulder!]

…

"Have you been watching the Disney movies again?"

[Unfortunately not. I'm writing this during a homework break when I really should be studying for tomorrow's Chemistry test and watching a movie with my friends.]

"You should be doing your homework then."

[Do you want this done or not?]

"Hn."

[Anyways, first we'll take care of the messages and then to the Fourth-wall work.]

"You will make this section too long again."

[Whatever. _GEMfaerie_ – "Itachi should never fix le fourth wall. Nothing ever works anyways. Tell him I said that."]

"It is worth a shot. You all are annoying."

[Smile 'tachi. You're needed for fan service.]

"Great. Now you are buying into this too."

[Eh, it was only a matter of time, and you know it. Reviews are what keeps this story alive. Now smile or else I'll make you.]

Cue grudging (but still really awesome) smile.

[Good boy.]

"Just get on with it."

[_SakuraDreamerz_ – "HOLY COW! I never knew Naruto was both Akiko AND Christopher! Anyway, Message to Itachi-san: give Deidara the preview card quickly! It expires on chapter 27! *If deidara gets the card, here's my message to Deidara: Heh heh heh...welcome to our world Deidara! This type of pain will come to you in my collab with Malice-chan! XDDD*"]

"Naruto was AKIKO?"

[Ignore that. Focus on giving Dei-Dei the card.]

"It expires this chapter."

[Do it anyways.]

Deidara suddenly appeared in the room and Itachi shoved the card into his hand.

"What's this, un?" the blond asked, peering at it, "Not funny, Uchiha."

[It's not his joke, it's mine.]

The bomber suddenly shrieked and dropped the card, "What was that!"

"The author."

"You mean you were telling the truth?"

"Since when have I not?"

[Okay, moment over, moving on.]

Deidara disappeared promptly.

[Next. _Dragonfire2lm_ – "To Itachi...Uh Yell pein that he is awesome! (even if he won't remember) and that he has a fan on the other side of the world! All hail the God of the hidden rain!"]

Itachi did as told and brought out his phone to text it to Pein.

The response was prompt.

**Where are you anyways, Uchiha? And of course I am awesome.**

[Well, there's your response. And here's the last one! _Akatsuki Blossom_ – "I have a few questions for Itachi-san. The first being: Have you enjoyed anything in the story so far? And the second would be: What is your favorite modern literature novel? Mine, personally is The Metamorphasis by Kafka. And I have rewarded you with 3 pieces of ubatonium, a grandfather clock, and a package of dango."]

"I have not had much time for reading lately, unfortunately. Perhaps…_The Book Thief_ by Markus Zusak. I have not read it in a while, so might preference might have changed."

[Okay, next!]

"You said that was the last one."

[I forgot about the more recent reviews. First up we have _Suki77_ – "I FINALLY caught up in the story, it took 5 WEEKS to finally read all of the 146 and 26 chapters, and I have to say, I love the plot twist and the randomness of it! And tell itachi for me to bring good luck on fixing the fourth wall! The fangirls will find a way in if he doesn't... *shudders*... And that will be the end of having a chance to sleep. And tell hida-chan that jashin died in a plane crash! And tell kakuzu that there was a fire in some bank in the village! :3"]

Itachi seemed surprised, "Five weeks? Is Malice-san really that great?"

[Hey!]

"And thank you. It is nice that someone understands why I am doing this and supports me."

He sent the quick texts out.

Here are the responses:

Hidan: **I will sacrifice you Weasel! You will die! You will **_**expletiving **_**die!**

And part dos of Zombie duo: **…**

Pein: **Thanks, Itachi. Kakuzu's gone running off in the middle of things.**

[This is fun!]

"You do not have to deal with the fallback."

[Exactly! Next is _LastLoneWolf_ – "Itachi-sama, before you fix the 4th wall, can you tell Hidan and Kakuzu thatI explitiving love them and I have discovered Hidans cellphone number. Beprepared."]

"Malice-san, I think we might have an explosion."

[Do it anyways.]

"I blame you if something bad happens."

[You do it anyways.]

Itachi went ahead and texted the Zombie duo again.

** - responses are censored due to extreme cursing and **_**expletives**_** - **

[Oh, there goes another crack.]

"You just want to make it so I cannot fix the wall."

[Give the man a prize!]

"I would rather the wall simply be fixed."

[And I want straight As. Too bad we can't all get what we want.]

"If you were studying instead of writing this, you might mange that."

[Shut up, Uchiha. _RiRi_ – "i haves a message for Itachi- Just like Santa Claus, fan girls see you when your sleeping ^_^ (just remember that)I also want to give you a special pair of glasses, ones that help you see chakara and help you see better, because since you are getting old you need glasses, and because of your...what ever it's called." Also, RiRi, good call on the riddle! I guess teachers are good for something after all, right?]

"Thank you for the glasses, I suppose. The gesture is appreciated."

[Is that all you're gonna say?]

"Yes. Continue."

[Anyways, back to the Fourth-wall fixing…]

"Well?"

[Hold your horses, Uchiha, I've gotta find it first. Ah, here it is: "This is what he needs to do. First, Itachi needs to get Cin to swear some Adimantium containing rocks onto Hidan's head. Then, Itachi needs to trap Tobi in the Adimantium. Afterwards, he feeds Tobi the root beer; ALL of it. He then needs to borrow a rubber duck from Kisame and $20 from Kakuzu. with the money he must buy the one of those cheap, plastic, robotic hand thing (you know, the ones that have buttons for each finger). Then he must get Sasori to attach chackra strings to the most moveable joints in Tobis body and the other ends to each finger button on the robotic arm. Next he must annoy Dei by squeaking the rubber ducky, and then blame it on Tobi. Tobi will be moving around a lot now so he must hold the robotic arm over a keyboard and have it type. It doesnt matter if its actual words or not. after the 3 gallons of root beer induced sugar high has worn off, he is to post the document as a story on fanfiction under the title, A Ninja's Sugar High Twitches." Well, you've got the Adamantium already, so let's bring in Tobi!]

"Not until I make the cage."

[Fine, I guess we'll just go back to Cin while we're waiting…]

…

When Cin was startled out of her dreaming state, she barely remembered where she was in time to avoid disrupting the snakes that were dangerously close to her. Doing her best to minimize her movement to avoid disturbing the dark snake currently relaxing on her stomach, she turned her head to an area she was able to see was a door with a figure entering, a familiar one.

The corner of her mouth twitched up into a smirk.

"Careful, Duck-butt-head. The snakes might eat your hair."

…

And we're back with Itachi!

"That did not take very long."

[Plot holes. Gotta love them. You got the cage?]

The weasel sighed, "Yes, I have the cage, no thanks to you."

[Actually, considering how short a time you had, it definitely was thanks to me.]

"Malice-san, shut up."

[Whatever. Here comes Tobi!]

And as we drop Tobi into Itachi's little side-world, we'll end this chapter and come back with most of this done.

"You are just being lazy."

[No, I actually am very busy and therefore will come back once you've got Tobi ready to type. OH, I probably should mention that Tobi's just inhaled a whole lot of candy, so good luck trying to catch him!]

… … … … …

Wow, that was a long chapter, 6 pages!

I hope everyone enjoyed it!

RER!


	28. Chapter 28:  Ssssssnakessssss

Howdy everyone. I think this story is experiencing some sort of revival as far as readers go. I haven't really picked up any new readers for a while, but now it looks like a few more people have joined the readership. Thank you for reading, especially if you just picked it up considering how long the first story was.

Also, I was just wondering if the main attraction for people reading this story is the breaking of the Fourth Wall. It seems like that is what is keeping the sequel afloat. I'll try to do more to further the plot along, especially now that I have an idea of where I'm going with this.

One day a lady goes to the store, and buys a pair of high heels. The next day, at her job, she died because she was wearing high heels. Where does she work, and how does she die?

… … … … …

Sasuke glared at the girl smirking up at him, "Hn."

Cin pouted, "It's not nice to tell people that you want to kill them, Duck-Butt-Head."

"Hn."

"I never said I was being nice either."

He raised an eyebrow at this, "You know that I do not care whether or not I come across as being mean?"

"Yes."

"Then what was the point of bringing that up?"

"What was the point in telling me that I wasn't being very nice either?" she shrugged, "Personally, I was just being childish, especially considering that I'm in a dangerous situation that I have no control over. I don't know about your reasons, though I suspect they might be the same."

This got her an evil glare.

"I should just kill you now."

She gave him a bright smile while her brain was screaming at her to shut up before she went too far, "But you won't."

"And why is that?"

"I've given you reasons to kill me long before this. I imagine that the only reason I am currently still breathing is because there's a reason that you can't kill me."

It was really too bad that she had a habit of babbling when nervous. Basic hostage guidelines 101: Don't try to antagonize your captor, especially by rubbing it in his face that he can't kill you.

Besides, he can do a lot that you won't like without killing you.

Besides, this is Sasuke Uchiha we're talking about. Little brother of Itachi Uchiha who could be very scary when he put his mind to it, and apprentice to Orochimaru, who Cin had heard/read was not the person she really wanted to meet…especially not without her overprotective bodyguards around.

Speaking of which, she was really regretting leaving the safety of her house now. Granted, she hadn't minded that much when she first woke up…but that was before she had gotten any idea of _who_ had taken her. If it had been a simple kidnapper…well, she had enough training to free herself from one of those, but these were shinobi…

…and she ditched practice every chance she could get. Yeah, probably not the smartest idea, certainly not something she would've done had she known that one day she'd be sitting in a den of snakes after having been kidnapped by shinobi who wouldn't think twice about killing her.

Yeah, that was why she was mainly banking on the hope that Duck-Butt-Head _could_ not kill her, for whatever reason that was.

Also, she was hoping that the reason they kidnapped her and were keeping her alive wouldn't come back to bite her in the butt either. She glanced behind her. There was a lot of things that could bite her in the butt here.

She focused her attention back on Sasuke. It wasn't like she'd be able to stop him if he wanted to hurt/kill her, but she hoped that maybe…no, it's pointless to even say it.

Maybe he would be angry enough to make a mistake.

Unlikely, but not impossible.

He was glaring, and she was starting to wish that she had learned to keep her mouth firmly _shut_ in situations like this.

"Now, now, Sssasssuke," a voice hissed, "Let'sssss, not be ruuuude to our guessssst."

Something told her that this meeting had the potential to turn her off snakes for life.

…

Itachi was actually looking a little bit worn out when we finally returned to him.

[Oh, so you got him into his cage?]

He raised an eyebrow, "Obviously."

[Ah, I forget. What an Uchiha wants, he gets one way or another.]

"Just get on with it already."

[You give him the root beer yet?]

"No. Do you honestly think I would let him get hyper before I had to?"

[Quite honestly, no. Anyways, I presume you had Sasori hook him up previous to now?]

He glared.

[I will take that as a yes. Alright, go ahead and get started, the sooner it is done *sighs* the sooner you can fix the wall of yours.]

He almost smiled at that, "Good."

[But before that, let's take a look at your messages…]

"Do I have to?"

[Yes. _GEMfaerie_ – "Itachi, if you fix the fourth wall, I will blow it up with DeiDei's clay. Because ART IS A BANG! Ooo, tell that to Sasori!"]

"I will not let you blow it up," he grumbled as he pulled out his phone and sent the message.

_Deidara, return Itachi's phone_.

[Well, that's that, I suppose. _TheParadoxicalOtaku_ – "E-eto, a-ano, Itachi-san... All I want to say is... Let's get married and have 10 kids! Whoot~! -Tackle glomped to floor- Oh yeah, btw give Tobi a lollipop as a bribe for staying in the cage. It be whatever mysterious flavor you want it to be! Don't fix the wall... NUUUU! -Grabs chainssaw to start hacking away at the wall again- (Apologies, I be high on sugar and various other sweet products)And Sasuke is in the house! Dattebayo!"]

"Why is everyone talking about Sasuke?"

[No reason. Ignore that.]

"Please stop trying to destroy the fourth wall," he spoke as he handed the mystery lollipop over to the masked member who happily managed to start licking the candy without removing his mask.

[But we all agree that's it's so much fun.]

"Stop."

[No, but I will move on…_Annibellee_ – "Hehe, cute chapter. XD Tell Itachi that I wish him luck!"]

"I appreciate the luck giving, thank you."

[_Dragonfire2lm_ – "You think the fourth wall breaking in your world is bad, get malice-san to check out my new my little pony fanfic...i'm surprised the fourth wall still exisists over there…"]

"I shudder to think what that must be like, I sincerely do."

[You know you wanna visit.]

"Not really, no."

[_maxridefan1234_ – "Tell him to tell Pein that even if he is awesome he's not as awesome as Prussia!"]

He sent the message.

_What's Prussia?_

[That poor guy, not knowing what Prussia is.]

"Are you going to harp on that, or are we going to finish this up?"

[Now I want to harp on it just to bug you.]

"Please do not."

[_xLL-Ax_ – "Dear Itachi, I wanted to say I felt sorry for you... But I don't. Its awesome you can hear the almighty author! It's like being able to talk with god. 0.o Anywayz, say hi to Hidan for me =) And good luck with your crazy duckbutt brother who doesn't deserve someone like you as a brother so you should just ignore him. Bye =D"]

He blinked, "Thanks…I will message Hidan later."

[_AnimeVamp1997_ – "To Chi-chan: YOLLO CHI-CHAN! (I can't stop saying 'Chi-chan'! It's so fun! :DDDDDD) I do not support your efforts in fixing the fourth wall! Just had to get that out there. :) I would offer you help with your fixing of the fourth wall, but due to the fact that I DO NOT WANT TO THE FOURTH WALL FIXED (As stated previously) and because of the self-explanatory reason of that I'm ME, I won't"]

"You people sincerely want me to go insane, do you not?"

[Undoubtedly.]

"It will not work."

"So you say. How do you know it is not working already?"

He ignored that.

[Moving on, _Stargazer77_ – "OH can you tell Itachi: Aww I love Tobi! Don't lock him up Itachi! Although if he is on a sugar high then you may want to XD So in case he really drives you crazy here: *gives Itachi a tranquilizer gun fully loaded*. That ought to do it! XD"]

"Thank you," there was a slight smile in his voice, an evil smile. Tobi had better watch his step.

[Go ahead and feed him the root beer. Post the story once he finishes it.]

"Please do not order me around."

[Maybe. I'll just leave it up to you.]

"Sure."

[Don't think I don't hear that sarcastic tone of yours!]

"I thought you were leaving."

[I was.]

"Then go."

[I will.]

"Then go."

[I am.]

…

Cin was biting her lip in an effort not to say the words that were bubbling at her mouth. Teasing Sasuke was one thing, and she really shouldn't be mouthing-off to him either. She had been told multiple times that if she didn't watch her mouth she'd get into trouble someday.

Funny thing was, this was mostly after she had met the Akatsuki (they must've made her more outspoken, especially considered that she didn't talk a lot to strangers before she met them), so she hadn't really seen that there was any possible way for her to get into _more_ trouble than she already was considering that her closest friends were all trained killers.

So she hadn't really tried curbing the habit except when talking to her teachers. Now she wished she had.

It would certainly have made things a whole lot easier right now if she had. She really wanted to make a remark about…no, don't think about it. Thinking about it will just make it more likely to be said.

"…no, to get to the point of why you are here…"

You mean that oily speaking for the last half an hour _wasn't_ the point? Suddenly she was glad that she hadn't been paying attention. But perhaps she oughta tune in now. She wouldn't want to miss something important…

"…you have a great gifffffft, and a rahhhhhrre one, Misssss Laeh. I would be mossssst interesssssted iffff I could find a waaaay to duplicate thisssss to help othersssss…"

Blah, blah, blah. Did he really think she was falling for it? If it wasn't enough that his appearance practically _screamed_ villain, but she's been staying the Akatsuki. Was it really that surprising that they might've been telling her about that? They were no idiots. And neither was she.

…but, it _could_ not hurt to _pretend_.

"Really?" she asked, tilting her head to her aside in mock-confusion.

He grinned, and she repressed a shudder.

"But of coursssssssssse."

She widened her eyes even more.

"Really Mr. Roach?"

She said it.

She was in for it now.


	29. Chapter 29:  Thank You, Mister Roach!

I wrote this while on a trip for a fencing tournament when I just couldn't take studying for Chemistry anymore. So good for you, not quite so for me unless I manage to ace this test. Here's your chapter!

Please enjoy my hard work to make you laugh!

One day a lady goes to the store, and buys a pair of high heels. The next day, at her job, she died because she was wearing high heels. Where does she work, and how does she die?

… … … … …

"_Really Mr. Roach?"_

She flinched back as the reality of what she had said finally came home to her. She had been trying so hard not to say it, and she had thought that she had been doing so well also!

And now it was all tumbling down around her ears. The smirk on Sasuke's face told her that this mistake could possibly be fatal.

For her. Just in case there was any doubt, I thought it would be best to go ahead and put it out that this mistake could potentially be fatal to _Cin_.

Now she was desperately praying that Orochimaru really needed her, or else she'd get to know what it would be like to…it's rather difficult to use a good metaphor if she doesn't know what his preferred method of killing is. But somehow she doubted it would be something as cute and cuddly as "sleeping with the fishies". One, because she doubted that these villains would ever use the term "fishie", and two, something told her that his symbol was a snake for a _reason_, namely a way of killing with them, perhaps?

And however much she loved snakes, she would much rather _not_ learn , thank you very much. She liked her innards poison-free, without a dash of fang, and her lungs in their normal space instead of squished into weird and unproductive shapes.

Yeah, that would definitely put a damper on her career to become a doctor…and why the _EXPLETIVE_ (meanwhile, Hidan was swearing in pain as the Konoha shinobi appeared confused to see a huge rock suddenly fell out of the open sky in Cin's backyard to hit the Jashinist on his head) was she thinking about that when she was in a very bad situation here ("very bad" being a bit of an understatement…but only a bit).

Getting sidetracked was a very bad idea at the time! Her amber eyes darted back to stare at Orochimaru, who seemed to be taking a deep breath with his eyes closed, in a very familiar expression to her, this being whatever Alex did whenever she was being particularly vexing.

Gah! Sidetracked again!

…

[Speaking of getting sidetracked, let's get back to our favorite weasel!]

"I would really appreciate you stopping that."

[And I would really appreciate being recognized as a Best-Selling Author, but we all know that's not happening anytime soon.]

"Stop looking for pity, Malice-san. Digging for compliments doesn't suit you."

[Contradictions, 'tachi? Are you feeling sick again?]

"Who wouldn't after being fed up with people whose only purpose in life seem to be making you go insane?"

[Ooh, weird "?" combo! You really must be sick!]

"I thought we'd established that already."

[But speaking of driving you insane, there is more questions and comments for you!]

"Oh joy. Just get it over with, won't you?"

[I'd get it over with faster if you'd just stop talking!]

"Just _go_," his voice sounded really exhausted.

[Going! _AnimeVamp1997_ – "To Chi-chan: In response to your question on weather or not I want you to go insane, yes, yes I do. It's for my entertainment you see, and NOTHING gets in the way of my entertainment. Especially when it's involves my sadistic pleasure. The great Chi-chan falls into insanity because of a hyperactive (And maybe a bit not right in the mind) girl! Now wouldn't that be great to see! XDDD Now Chi-chan, I do so hope that you live through your encounter with a sugar high Tobi, because if you die I wouldn't have my entertainment. And you'll find out soon enough why everyone's talking about Sasuke~ :3 Fufufu~ Duck-Ass-Hair~! (I would say something incredibly rude to you right here that would severly impair your peide and dignity, but I won't. I can actually restrain myself, unlike Cin~! :D) Byebye Chi-Chan!"]

"I knew it. And I won't dignify that with a response."

[You just did, Itachi-san!]

"Shut up."

[Wow! It looks like the weasel is turning into a real boy! Did you finally live up to your deal with the Blue Fairy.]

"I hope you're not talking about Kisame."

We both pause as the image of Kisame as the blue fairy enters ours (and your) heads, and immediately wish for some sort of brain bleach.

"We never speak of this again."

[Agreed. Moving on, _SakuraDreamerz_ – "To Itachi: I wish you good luck in finding Cin *hands him a katana* And I hope this will cut him down! Gaahh! Oro's there too! Hurry!"]

"Wait, what?"

[Moving on! New comment, new comment! _HKTM_ - "Please don't fix the fourth wall because talking to an author is cool and please tell Sasori-san to stop playing with barbie dolls~ and say Hi to Tobi for me!"]

"I fail to see how Malice-san is 'cool' in any way."

But he took his phone out and texted the message anyways.

The response came back quite quickly.

_{I will kill Deidara! I told him to stop spreading that rumour! It's not true!}_

[Methinks the puppeteer protests to much.]

"Tobi responded with a very happy response. Thank you _so_ much, now he thinks I actually like him! I have to build up his belief that I absolutely despise him again!"

[Next! The self-proclaimed Keeper of the Fourth Wall would like to tell you that he is extending the deadline to Chapter 33.]

"Well, that's good. Tobi's currently refusing to write, claiming he's got writer's block."

[I had a feeling you'd like it. _SkyTheLugia_ – "Hi there Ita-chan,the hyper fangirl(Sasuke better watch himself!) haz returned!It'd be a real shame if the fourth wall was fixed...you might never know when you need stuff that the fans give ya!Wouldn't want to know what you're gonna do to Tobi with that tranquilizer,but here's a bottle of chloroform in case the tranquilizer doesn't work."]

"How did Sasuke get involved in all this."

[That's for me to know and you to eventually find out. Now keep reading.]

"Thank you for the chloroform, I guess," he said grudgingly, "But I would rather manage without it if I couldn't hear your voices. Also, if the Fourth Wall wasn't being continuously broken, then I wouldn't need either the tranquilizer or the chloroform, now would I?"

[Be nice, 'Tachi!]

"That _was_ me being nice."

[…do you know what the really sad part about that was?]

"What?" Itachi rolled his eyes.

[I believed every word. Okay, fun-time with Itachi is done! Let's get back to the real world!]

…

Itachi blinked as he suddenly reappeared in the backyard of Cin's house, and gave a sigh of relief to see that it didn't appear as though anyone had even noticed his absence. He didn't feel like trying to give a reasonable explanation, knowing full well that the others have been losing respect for him with the Fourth Wall. Hidan and Deidara didn't even fear him anymore. Hm, he would have to fix that. Perhaps after he fixed the Wall and they had rescued Cin so he would actually _have_ free time…hm, perhaps if he could get rid of the annoying author, he could break the fact that everyone seemed to like Cin and since he couldn't offer her (she was too valuable for that), he could definitely make everyone stop treating her like a best friend or a favored pet. She needed to be disciplined before she got herself into trouble with that big mouth of hers.

…

Speaking of a certain big mouth, it looked like Orochimaru had finally calmed down enough to reopen his eyes and put on what he obviously thought was (but was obviously not) a very charming smile.

"Iiiiii thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiink, you missssssssshearrrrrrrd, meeeee, Missssss Ciiiiindrrrrrrrrrraa. My naaaaaame issssssssss Orrrrrrochiiiiiiimarrrrrrrru."

The young adult nodded eagerly, thankful that he had come up with a good excuse for her. Behind his back, she could see Sasuke slump a little, a disappointed look on his face. It looked as though he had really been hoping to kill her.

Too bad, Duck-Butt-Head, she _liked_ living.

"Oh, I am ever so sorry, Mister Orochimaru!" she used her most innocent voice and spoke as innocently as she could, biting her tongue when "Roach" wanted to come out instead of his given name, "I must have misheard you!"

Please, please, _please_ let him think she was in earnest instead of mocking him; she prayed this to whatever deity you might prefer. He seemed like he could have a very short fuse at times.

And she didn't want to be standing on the barrel of compressed flour when the fuse finally burned down to reach it. Her body wasn't perfect, but she liked it enough to really _really_ not want it to be rearranged.

Either he bought it, or she really _was_ too important to kill right away, but he _seemed_ to accept this argument to be true and didn't push it.

"I thaaaaaaaat youuuuuuuuu haaaaaaaaavvvve a giiiiiiiiiiiiiift, Missssssssssssss Ciiiiiindrrrrrrrrrrra. A gifffffft forrrrrr heeeeeeaaaaaaaaliiiiing."

Her first instinct was to lie like it was going out of style, to lie like her pants were going to light on fire. But then it hit her that this wasn't a question. Orochimaru obviously knew, and Sasuke did too. And they _both _knew that _she_ knew, as well as both knowing that _she_ knew that _they_ knew that _she_ knew about the existence of her powers. Therefore denying them might not help the case she was trying to make, namely that was completely naïve and maybe a little ditzy.

"Oh, yes, Mister Orochimaru, the Akatsuki mentioned that to me, but they're really mean about it!"

It was attempt to reuse the strategy she had when she was taken by Konoha (namely lie like mad, get in their good graces, and then leave the moment the Akatsuki showed up, whenever that might be). She could only hope that it could be successful.

Probably not. This S-class shinobi didn't seem the type to trust people like the Konoha shinobi, and his Duck-Butt-Head sidekick even less so. And besides, something told her that the Akatsuki wouldn't have a very easy time of invading this…lair would be a good word, she supposed. If it was easy, they would've destroyed him long, long, long ago. They had never made any secret of their intense dislike and anger towards the serpentine criminal. And she supposed the feeling was mutual, especially considering the look that flashed over Orochimaru's face as she mentioned the Akatsuki.

He might suspect that she would be lying, but so long as she didn't make it obvious, they might both continue to pretend that this charade was reality, all the while with both of them watching for the right moment to make their move, for better or for worse.

He might have experience and cunning on his side, but _she_ had…no, she didn't have that, but she had…nope, didn't have that either, how about…nope, that was going to be next week's lesson. Okay, so she didn't really have anything that was going to get her out of this mess. All she had was her ability to say the wrong thing at the wrong time, and let's face it, that was more likely to get her killed than anything else.

"Hhhhhhhow wooooooooould you liiiiiiiiiike to leeeeeeeeearn hoooooooooow to ussssssssssse yourrrrr pooooooooowerssssssssssssssss?"

"Oh really? That would be just nifty!"

Okay, maybe this was laying it on a little too thick. And since when did her innocent act revert to the 1950s? That's it, no more of those old movies.

"Good!" he smiled rather evilly, "Then let's begin."

Cin blinked, completely confused, "Where did the hissing go?"

"Oh, I use that for first meetings and my enemies. My evil consultant said that it gave a better atmosphere and made me seem more fearsome. Does it work?"

She gave a huge smile, "You betcha!" but in her head, she was thinking 'If it didn't sound like you had a lisp instead'.

"See!" he turned to Sasuke, "I told you it worked!"

The Uchiha rolled his eyes at this, but Orochimaru had turned back to the healer.

Okay, this might just work after all. She wasn't dead yet after all. Surely she'd be able to survive till the Akatsuki came and got her out…or maybe she should figure out a way to escape herself and escape the world of shinobi completely since her friends were likely going to put her under house arrest for the rest of her life.

Completely unlikely to happen, but it's a nice hope.

However, let's not count our chickens before they hatch. That would need luck, and this seemed like something she was lacking lately.

Didn't all the community service she'd done count for _something_ as far as karma was concerned?


	30. Chapter 30: Making Plans

I am currently reading _Characters & Viewpoint_ by Orson Scott Card to get a better idea of how to write better, and have run across a section detailing the main things that can usually inspire comedy, and I find that I am doing quite a few of them in this story. Yay! Considering all the responses saying how funny this story is, I am doing a pretty good job of finding the balance between believable and unbelievable to make something comedic, which makes me very happy! I hope that I can continue that as this story continues.

But seriously, one of the paragraphs sounded almost exactly like what Cin would say, though while they have the character speaking being very nonchalant about being at knifepoint, she would probably be a little more scared about the whole idea. But just a tad.

Hey, it's been brought to my attention that Zetsu has not been appearing much and has been fading into the background, so let's see if we can bring this wallflower (or wall-Venus-Fly-Trap) out of his shell.

But first, the answer to your awesome riddle!

One day a lady goes to the store, and buys a pair of high heels. The next day, at her job, she died because she was wearing high heels. Where does she work, and how does she die?

The answer is this: She works at the circus as a lady who stands with an apple on her head, while an archer tries to shoot the apple. The heels made her taller than usual, so the archer missed the apple, and shot her head

Thank you very much! Enjoy!

… … … … …

Hi! This is Tobi! Tobi's a good boy! Tobi doesn't know why Itachi gave him so much SUGAR! but Tobi likes him for it! Tobi's been told that Tobi's supposed to write a story, but wasn't told what he was supposed to write about! So, Tobi decided to write about VILLAINs! You see, VILLAINs are people, just like you, but who are EVIL. We are not immune to fears like those of *gulps* needles. Even Hidan really doesn't like needles, and we all know how much he enjoys pain! So if you're writing about a villain, make sure to give them flaws like this…

**Tobi, what are you doing? I told you to write a story, not a how-to for fanbrats.**

You weren't specific enough! Too bad! Tobi's writing what Tobi wants now! Now where was Tobi?...oh yeah, Tobi was looking at flaws for VILLAINs. It would be interesting if they were like Al Capone, who apparently suffered a disease for years rather than get an itty-bity injection that could've stopped his suffering! So give flaws! We are not perfect and never will be! Next thing is that we are VILLAINs! We LIE! Yeah, we'll give our word of honor and all, but eventually we will break the promise the moment it is no longer beneficial to us…

**Great, now you are giving away all of our secrets on top of failing to write a story.**

Fine! You want a story? I'll give you a story! Once upon a time there was a teenager who insisted on messing with someone's creative genius. The genius responded by first driving him insane, and once he had completely discredited the idiotic little teen, he tore him into little pieces and scattered them all over the world, never to see each other again. And THEN went back to writing his awesome story on VILLAINs.

**Interesting story, but you forgot the ending. He spent so much time **_**arguing**_** with the teen that he ran out of time to keep writing and the story ended unfinished.**

What? !

…

"Itachi," Pein spoke, looking at the masked member rocking back and forth, "Is there something I should know about in regards to Tobi?"

"Hn."

"Kisame?"

"Um, I'll take that one as a "better if you don't know"," Kisame promptly responded.

The leader nodded, "I can live with that."

"As can we," the elder Hyuuga spoke up, "So long as you can keep him under control."

"What my members do are none of your concern," Pein retorted, while secretly thinking the same exact thing. Not that he would ever admit it.

"It is if you want our help."

"I don't recall asking for it."

"Do you even know where to start looking? Do you even know who took her?"

"And I suppose you do?"

"Considering the fact that we are currently allies with most of shinobi world, or are allies with people who are allies with them, I can tell you quite easily that she has not been taken by any of the Hidden Villages, which leaves only one option left."

"Orochimaru," Zetsu finally spoke up.

"_Expletive_."

…

Somewhere a good distance away…

Cin had the sudden urge to swear. Orochimaru and Sasuke had left her, so one tiny swear wouldn't hurt her cause…

"_Expletive_."

…

Hidan barely seemed phased as a large chunk of sandstone dropped on his head, only startling the Konoha shinobi, Leader, and Konan.

The others, sadly enough, were used to it.

Pein just sighed, figuring that it was useless to attempt to understand what was going on, and the Konoha shinobi (seeing the others not being overly shocked) did their best to ignore it as well.

But it's kinda hard when rock literally just fell out of thin air to clonk your enemy on the head after he swore. From what they had heard from Asuma's team, he had a very dirty mouth, but they didn't recall any rocks dropping on his head from their story. Hinata was POSITIVE that Ino would've mentioned something like that.

"Let's get **back to business**," the plant-like man spoke up, "**Does anyone know** where Orochimaru's current hideout is?"

"Since Sasuke's probably with him," Shino spoke up, "Naruto should be able to find him.

Everyone gave the bug-master a weird look.

He just shrugged in return, "I can't be the only one who's noticed that Naruto appears to have an uncanny ability to find Sasuke when he's looking for a fight with someone else."

After thinking about it for a moment, there was a chorus of nods amongst everyone there, except a brooding Naruto.

…

[And now, to interrupt your regular show for Itachi answering your letters! Yay!]

"Hn."

[C'mon Itachi! Work it for the cameras.]

"No."

[It's a good thing you're popular then, even with your bad moods. Okay, first question, _Metal Butter_ – "I would like to say, Itachi-san, these things. Do not succumb to the insanity. It will incapacitate you and then we can't see your (hilarious) reactions when we say things. Outrageous things. So, as the first time I'm giving you something, I'm going to give you a book on how to stay sane."]

The weasel nodded as he accepted the book, "At least someone understands my…" he had opened the book by this point, "It is BLANK."

[*shrugs* I guess that means that there's no way for you to stay sane. Better luck next time, Itachi, and April Fools from _Metal Butter_!]

"It is not even April first anymore!"

[In our world. In your world it is.]

"No, considering the fact that you do not want Cin to miss college, it is still winter break."

[Is it now? Oops. Oh well, just take the stupid April Fools stuff!]

"Fine," the Uchiha grumbled.

[Now, say thank you.]

He just glared, so we move on to the next message!

[_ShanaShakaku_ – "Hey again Itachi! I see that you are still on your quest to block the Fourth Wall -because it deserves to be capitalized-. I'll be sad to see it go, but if you want it gone I will support you. Getting back on track I realized that Malice-danna has been making Konoha be a pain in the arse. So here are dango flavored soldier pills! Not much, but I have limited time to think of something. Now go get Cin-chan back!"]

"It is nice to see that SOME people have manners out there."

[Hey, no being a big meanie, 'tachi!]

"I complimented. That is what you want me to do."

[But for once, can't you compliment without insulting?]

"No. Now hurry up with the next question."

However, he ate one of the soldier pills, and a small smile crossed his face, causing many readers to grab their cameras to take a fast picture before the moment passed.

[_Annibellee_ – "And messing with Itachi is fun! But was usual, I feel bad. X3 Give him a lollicookie for me! (It's like, a cookie inside of a clear lollipop. I just made it up. ;D) But, if he doesn't want it, he can give it to Tobi, or to throw it out. X3"]

"Thank you for your consideration," he looked skeptically at the lollipop, but put it into his pocket anyways.

[_AnimeVamp1997_ – "To Chi-Chan: *Laughing hysterically* I-i think Cin is going to be fine! After all, if He has a... Pfft~...EVIL CONSULTANT... than she's got it easier than she thinks. Although I don't think she's ever going to come to the strategy I thought of, as she has no strategic part in her very ESSENCE. And thank you for dignifying my message with a response, even if it was to tell you WEREN'T going to dignify it with a response. You kind of failed at that. HA! THE GREAT UCHIHA HAS FAILED! :DDDDDD Take that, beeyotch! That's what ya get for ignoring ME! THE KING! YOU DON'T IGNORE THE KING, DAMNIT! (Ahem. I just ate a lot of chocolate.) Off with your head! (I'm also semi-obsessed with Alice in Wonderland.) Also, here's some magical un-writer's block to help you get Tobi to write. Be glad I'm helping you, cuz this ain't happenin' again, got it? *Leers* Bye bye Chi-chan~! :3"]

Itachi was quiet for a moment, the only signs that he was still alive was that he was still standing and that he was blinking.

[_AnimeVamp1997_, I think you might've broken him!]

He didn't move.

[Is he dead?]

He stirred a little at that.

[Well, he's not dead yet! WAKE UP!]

He jolted at that before glaring up out of the Fourth Wall.

[Okay, now that Itachi's awake and listening…_Narnia is real so stop lyin 2 urselfs_ – "Can u please tell Ita-kun that i just re-read the chapters that had my comments in them and the moment where he got my gift and i would like to say that he should smile like that more. It's such a nice smile but its much to rare for my liking. He shouldn't be so upset like that all the time. (And besides if he were happier he wouldn't have to worry abour fulfilling threats that he makes when he's upset and obviously cant fulfill since hes a pacifist. Opps, did I say that? Sorry, Ita-kun, I had too"]

Itachi responded, "I would ask how you knew that I was a pacifist, but I presume you discovered this through your constant spying on me."

[Eh, it's possible.]

"Can I leave now."

[Isn't there supposed to be a question mark there?]

"No."

[Why not? The Word document is saying that it's a grammatical error!]

"There should not be a question mark there."

[Oh, so Uchihas don't have to adhere to the rules of grammar?]

"I am not saying that. Also, I believe that you are overdoing the sarcasm."

[Then _why_ is there not supposed to be a question mark there?]

"Because it is not a question. I am leaving now whether you like it or not."

[Now I kinda wanna force you to stay just because you're being mean…but I've run out of stuff to talk about, so I guess we'll drop you back in the story.]

"Finally."

…

"Um, are you sure that this is safe?"

"You doubt me?"

"Not exactly…just curious?"

"I don't intend to kill you yet. I haven't gotten what I need from you yet."

"…yet?"

"Don't take it personally, sweetie, think of it as bettering the world with your healing abilities."

"Is there NO way for me to save the world without DIEING?"

"Miss Laeh, I have to request you to calm down. Overly much adrenaline could skew the results."

"And we definitely don't want to keep me around longer than necessary, of course."

"I'm glad that you're finally seeing reason."

"Gah! Get that away from me!"

"It hasn't even touched you yet."

"Hey, I make it a personal rule that things like that stay out of my bubble!"

"Your…bubble?"

"It's a ten-inch radius around me that things like that cannot come into."

"Look, it's not like it's going to hurt."

"Says the guy who's not going to have to endure it!"

"You weren't this anxious about it before!"

"Hey, I think I've got a right to be anxious about it now!"

"SASUKE!"

"Hn."

"Restrain her."

"Hn."

"Hey! Let me go!"

"Gag her!"

"Mmphfffffffff!"

…

"There, now that wasn't so bad, now was it?" Orochimaru was smiling benignly at her as Cin was released.

She spat the gag out of her mouth, "Once again, you weren't the one getting stabbed by a two-foot needle!"

"Don't be absurd," Orochimaru sounded offended and a little hurt, "It was only one foot."

_Thud!_

The two men stared at the still figure on the floor.

Finally, Orochimaru spoke up, "Do you think she does this often?"

"Hn," Sasuke shrugged.

…

"So it is decided then," Neji spoke as he and his team rose to their feet.

Across the table, the Akatsuki did the same.

Leader nodded, "We leave tomorrow for Orochimaru's hideout. And until Cin is back, we will maintain a temporary truce."

"Agreed."

"Zetsu," Leader said, "Show the shinobi to the rooms they can use in Cin's house."

The plant-man nodded and moved smoothly toward the mansion, not looking to see if they were following him.

He would do his best not to eat them…yet.

… … … … …

Wow, 7 pages! I hope ya'll enjoyed this! Or better yet, I hope everyone found it funny!

I'm also going to see if I can insert some romance in. Yeah, I know I've said I was going to do this before, but I'm still trying to find the best way that'll preserve the comedy and ridiculousness of the story without crossing the line into the straight unbelievable and Mary-Sue-land.

Wish me luck!


	31. Chapter 31: Rescue

Sorry for the long wait, I've been doing Final Exams and finally finished!

Newest riddle! Promise this time that it's not quite as violent!

Ganga river is in what state?

… … … … …

Cin blinked wearily as she came to, and then she started to rub at her eyes to remove the sleep. It took a few moments, but eventually where she was started to sink in. Do you have any idea how horrible it felt to wake up from what felt like a nice dream to what felt like a nightmare? Yeah, factor in the fact that she's currently fearing for her life at the hands of a sadistic mad-scientist, and we have high-octane nightmare fuel, ready to go.

Okay, let's stop dwelling on pessimistic things and find a bright side…or at least a side that's not quite as dark?

…okay, I don't know about you, but nothing's coming to me. So let's quit with the philosophizing (especially since I am VERY glad to be done with that class) and move on with the story.

As she moved her left arm, she could feel something tugging at the crook of her elbow. Confused, she looked down, and promptly wished she hadn't. The tube sticking into her arm wasn't very comforting to her attempts to believe that all was well. Especially since it looked like it was connected to some sort of fluid bag that was putting something into her body. And considering where she was, she couldn't quite think of a good reason for it to be there. She tried. She gets points for trying, just doesn't succeed.

She could hear some beeps moving faster, and turned her head to see a monitor reacting to her heartbeat. Great, that was probably going to bring in Orochimaru fairly soon. She was sure that there was only so much you could do with a subject like her while unconscious; yeah, her powers were often on autopilot, but it would be a huge risk to attempt to trigger them when she would not be available to control them, considering the fact that they would drain extremely quickly.

And that would result in her death. Yeah, a dead lab rat would be pretty useless to Orochimaru. And currently, that was the only thing that made her feel remotely safe.

But there was a lot of things that could be done without killing her, and to be honest, Cin was pretty certain that she'd prefer death over some (okay, MOST) of those things.

Hey, give her a break, she was no hardened shinobi (or criminal). A little over a year ago, she had just been a normal teen…and that sounds as cliché as all get out. It was times like these where she thought that Itachi might actually be right about his "we're all characters in a big story" idea. It would definitely explain why her life sometimes seemed like the plotline of a B-movie.

Well, if it _was_ a plotline to a B-movie, someone should come to rescue her in three…two…one…

She flinched as the ceiling exploded, and then looked up in confusion, her eyes widening as she saw a figure up there, with what looked like long…blond(?) hair.

No, impossible. Either that, or her life really was a B-rated movie. At the moment, Cin was kind of hoping for the latter, wanting to get out of this creepy place.

And that was precisely why her eyes must be deceiving her. She was going stir-crazy, she had cabin fever, or there was something hallucinogenic on that needle. It's not like there was any shortage on the possibilities behind this delusion.

"Cin! Cin!"

Wow, this was a very good delusion. It actually felt like she was getting shaken.

"Cin! Did he do something to you? Cin!"

Now she was doing her best to fight the urge to acknowledge the illusion. She had read somewhere that acknowledging them as though they were real was the first step to making them even more difficult to escape from…

But what if he really _was_ there? Then she'd be making it more dangerous for both of them since Orochimaru would surely send someone to check the noise soon.

"Cindra! _Look_ at me!"

He wasn't yelling. If it was all in her mind, wouldn't he be yelling? Just because no one'd be able to hear him except for her? But if it was in her mind, wouldn't he be quiet simply because she'd think of it as the best case scenario?

Ugh, this was worse than philosophy class. She never had liked Descartes, and now she was having her own little moment of doubt. It was freaking scary when you couldn't trust your own mind. It could be a good torture technique all on its own.

"Dang it!" Deidara swore, and suddenly she was getting picked up and thrown over his shoulder in the classic fireman hold.

"Hey!" she couldn't stop herself from letting out an exclamation as the blood rushed to her cheeks.

"Oh, so you _are_ awake in there?" Deidara seemed a little upset, "What was the big idea with ignoring me?"

Cin sighed; well, if this was a hallucination, then she had already acknowledged it, and therefore might as well finish the job.

"I was pretty sure that you were a hallucination, and acknowledging them is a good way to get trapped," she confessed, putting her elbow on his back as an attempt to keep her torso from flipping about like a rag doll, "I was trying to think of a way to figure out whether you were one or not for sure."

"Well, I hope you're convinced now, un!"

"Not quite, this could be a very real hallucination that I've just gotten completely sucked into by acknowledging your existence."

"I'm real."

"You'd be saying that if you were an illusion too," then she sighed, "But, since I've already been talking to you as if you existed, I might as well treat you as real at this point. So congratulations, Dei, as of the moment, you are real."

"Thank you for your permission," he grumbled, "And don't call me Dei!"

"Real Dei would've let me call him that," she muttered into his back.

"No, I wouldn't, un."

"My subconscious could've given that response too," she cut him off before he could respond to that, "By the way, why are we heading further into his lair?"

"By this point, his agents would be swarming my break-in point."

"Good answer," Cin approved, "Next question. Why am I being carried like this? It's not very comfortable."

"Um, cause we're running for our lives and don't want you holding us back, un?"

Cin snorted, "Running from enemies is the only thing I'm really good at. It's the only time I ever appreciate your fangirls."

"Ah, I see."

"So really, Dei, I can run for myself."

"Not fast enough to run out fully trained shinobi."

"I can outrun you guys."

"That's at your house where you have a superior knowledge of the lay of the land, and lots of little tricks. Here, you'll be caught very quickly."

"Look, if I _must_ be carried, can't I go piggy-back instead of the style of a sack of potatoes?"

"No."

Cin forced herself to bite her tongue instead of arguing. They were running for their lives after all. It probably wasn't the best time to get picky.

She also was a little surprised that there was no teasing from the blond, but once again, they _were_ a little busy running for their lives.

Still, something nagged at her as something being wrong…

Bored out of her mind (really, only Cin), she started playing with Deidara's hair that was moving into her face every other step. It was just one of those things that made Dei himself.

Besides, it smelled nice…

…

…

Where did _that_ thought come from? Hold up, Deidara was her _friend_! It was sad that he was her _best_ friend and that the Akatsuki were almost her _only_ friends, but they were still her friends. It would completely upset the wagon if she had feelings for him.

So therefore, she resolves to pretend like nothing like this had ever crossed her mind…

…another strand as hair flopped across her face.

It wouldn't hurt to indulge or a little bit, would it? He would never have to know, no one would. And she'd forget about it soon.

Suddenly, Deidara was dodging a bolt of lightning, making Cin jerk where she was perched on his shoulder.

Of course, right now wasn't exactly the best time to indulge in miniature fantasies like this. How many times would she have to recall that they were in the middle of running for their lives before it'd sink in?

It was times like these when she'd honestly worry about her intelligence.

She grabbed on tightly to Deidara's back as she felt his arms start to throw his bombs at whatever enemy they had managed to confront. It was odd to see that he wasn't laughing, usually he'd be borderline hysterical at the mere thought that he'd be able to create impressive art like this.

(His definition of art, not quite hers unless it was applying to something where the bright spots of red were the sparks flying, and not blood)

Where was the rest of the Akatsuki anyways? She knew that she wasn't quite best buddies with any of them except Deidara, but she had been under the impression that they hadn't exactly _hated_ her. She might've read their reactions wrong, but she didn't really think so.

They wouldn't just leave her to the mercy of Orochimaru, would they?

No, she was valuable to them, for her healing ability if nothing else…

Suddenly, something hit Deidara, sending her flying off, crashing into the wall, and the blond bomber being propelled into her.

Their heads collided in the cliché accidental kiss, red flaming up into Cin's cheeks once she realized what had happened.

And, it was at that moment, that she woke up.

…

Cin was briefly confused as she jerked awake, her hair briefly obscuring her vision.

The first thing she was aware of was the fact that it was completely silent.

The next thing was that there was no one there to rescue her.

And the third…was something she refused to admit even to herself.

It seemed that getting stabbed with a two-foot-long (pardon, _one_-foot-long) needle did not make for pleasant dreams.

…

And now we pull Itachi away from his very important meeting on _how_ to save our favorite healer to do something that he doesn't think is quite as important.

"Hn."

[Speak when you're spoken to…which is right…now: _Darkpetal16_ – "Could you tell Itachi to... Say hi to Kakuzu-san for me...Tell Tobi he is a very good bad-boy... and to simply admit he secretly enjoys breaking the fourth wall. He's just in denial. :D And if he says he's not, he's denying denial"]

He nodded and quickly sent off the texts.

Kakuzu's response: {Itachi, where did you even go?}

Tobi's response: {No,Tobi's just a good boy!}

Itachi responded to Tobi's text with a {You are in denial.}

Tobi: {No, Tobi isn't!}

Itachi: {You are denying denial then.}

With that, he snapped the phone shut and slipped it into his pocket, before looking up at the ceiling to wait for the next little bit of hell we have for him.

[_ImawesomeKL_ – "ImawesomeKL:Heya! I really love this story so please update also can you tell Tachi that I said that I feel for him. I have a friend who constantly randomly talks to me it's kinda like the fourth wall being broken. Also can you tell Hidan that I said I love him and die an Sasori? please. * gives random dango* there you go Tachi and these are for Hidan * gibes ribs*"]

Itachi: {Hidan/Sasori, _IamawesomeKL_ wishes me to tell you that "I love him and die". And Hidan, _IamawesomeKL_ also has ribs for you.}

Response of Hidan: {What the _expletive_ Uchiha! Ow! She can't even hear me!}

Response of Sasori: {Hidan cannot die, and neither can I, Uchiha. Now hurry up and get back here, we must finish the meeting.}

[*pouts* I had hoped for some more satisfying responses.]

"Blame your own lack of imagination."

[SHUT UP UCHIHA! *ahem* Now, next we have _Narnia is real so stop lying 2 urselfs_ – "(again im doing this on my fone so its not signed properly) To Ita-kun: Its not like I try to stalk you thats just how things turn out. In fact I know a lot more about you than you'd like me to know but im not gonna say it all here, all I'm gonna say is that I know your secret. Besides I didn't learn that your a pacifist by spying on you I learned it by spying on your brother and Tobi... yeah, figure that out"]

"My secret?"

[Yeah, so stop blaming the spying on me!]

"You spy on me."

[I create another story for you. Different from spying.]

"I refer to what you read…"

[…]

…

[…shut up, Uchiha.]

"Can you not think of something else to say? It is getting quite tiresome."

[…]

…

[…]

…

[…]

"You do realize that you are making a fool of yourself by not only arguing with a fictional character, but arguing with a fictional character you are writing about in a fanfiction."

[…]

"Speechless?"

[…]

"Giving me the silent treatment?"

[HN!]

A slightly scandalized expression crossed Itachi's face.

"That was rude."

[And that was obvious. Now, we shall move on…_0Kuro Tenshi0_ – "Ok, question for Itachi: why don't you use those ear-muff thingies you got a few chapters back so you can't hear the authoress? If you're like me and lose things easily, then here's some new ones *hands Itachi authoress-proof ear muffs*"]

"MaliceArchangela stole the ear-muffs. Thank you for the replacements."

[Grrr…_ SakuraDreamerz_ – "to Itachi: I heard about Tobi trying to write the story. How did it go? And I must warn you that Orochimaru's base has more traps that you can count. Be careful! plus, please give this to Deidara? *hands him a bracelet that lets me and Malice-chan speak to him for 5 chapters* I kinda missed talking to Deidei, too!"]

"Tobi did an okay job attempting to write it, but was unable to carry it out. I am always careful, and of course I shall give it to the blond furball."

[Sadistic Uchiha.]

"You are the one who is writing me in this manner."

[…]

"We are not starting that again."

[Fine…_ Metal Butter_ – "So, on to Itachi's question! /happyfacewhat? What would you do in Germany during the reign of (HITLER!)? Ooh, I just said the H word! Anyway, the circumstances are: -You have no weapons because they were all stolen by man-eating CHUPACABRAS that popped out of nowhere. -You cannot ASK for help from the audience because the FOURTH WALL is fixed. -You are TEMPORARILY BLIND due to a weird liquid that the chupacabras(which turned out to be rabid chinchillas) squirted all over your eyes! And mouth. -The Akatsuki are forced to sell NUCLEAR BOMBS to civilians to survive! -You get DRUNK one night and roll into the GUTTER where there are bioweapon FANGIRLS who MAUL you! -Your current situation is: you are in a prison cell with the Akatsuki who got to keep their NUCLEAR WARHEADS. You get a prize if you survive."

"Hn."

Snakes started to tumble down from the sky onto his head.

The Uchiha glared.

"Was that really necessary?"

[_Metal Butter_ told me to.]

"If _Metal Butter_ told you to jump off a cliff, would you do that?"

[No, but jumping off a cliff won't fulfill my duty as an author to create interesting situations for people to read.]

"I would Mangekyou anyone who came near me."

[What about food? You will starve. Besides, you're blind now.]

"My brother will keep looking for me, he will kill me off."

[Um, Itachi, the point of this exercise is to _survive_.]

"One of the main things about being a ninja is to change the rules if they do not suit you."

[Okay, suppose Sasuke _does_ show up. Now the fangirls are mauling _him_, and the chupacabras are coming to get him and turn him blind.]

"My brother is not that weak."

[These are superpowered creatures.]

"You just want me to lose."

[What was your first clue?]

"The fact that you are deliberately manipulating events."

[Of course. I'm Sasori's successor as a puppet-master, according to my friends.]

"You say that I will win the game if I survive, correct?"

[Bingo!]

"Well, suppose I do not want to live in a world ravaged by chupacabras, psycho fangirls, and possibly nuked. Then, in that case, I will lose if I survive. Therefore, I will win if I die."

[That makes no sense!]

"Or does it?"

[Stop messing with my brain!]

"I killed my entire clan, I deserve to die, do I not?"

[Hey, if you really want punishment, then you stay alive.]

"I am not looking for punishment. I am looking for justice. If I was looking for punishment, I would make it much harder for Sasuke to find me and kill me; I would make it impossible as I disappear into the woodworks and torture myself alone. I killed them, therefore I deserve to die, end of story, game finished. Next."

[*sighs* Sorry, _Metal Butter_, Itachi's refusing to play. I'm trying as hard as I can.]

"_Next_."

[I'm getting there!]

"Next."

[Fine! Final message! Protector of the Fourth Wall – "Very Good, Itachi! You've successfully completed all of the tasks I have set forth for you! Your reward, as per my earlier reviews, will be given to you when you read/hear this review! As Malice-sama is reading this to you, a book and about 5 rolls of duct tape will appear in front of you. The book details several ways to fix The Fourth Wall, all of which work as I have used them myself countless times. The duct tape is Fourth Wall-Strength duct tape: it is specifically made to hold and/or block The Fourth Wall. You can use it as described in the book."]

"About time,"Itachi sighed, preparing to open the book.

[Wait!]

"What?"

[First off, I'd like to say that it was a pleasure interacting with you, Itachi, and also to please make sure you give Dei that bracelet so that we can torture him instead, alright?]

"Very well."

He poured over the book until he finally found the answer he was looking for, and left the room to fix the problem.

But before he left completely, we can hear his voice, "How does making a large ball of duct tape and shooting a basket with it help anything?"

… … … … …

Okay, admit it. I want to see hands in the air of everyone who was excited when they saw Deidara come in. *counts the hands* Okay, now I want to see everyone who was confused and didn't believe it was Deidara! *counts them again* What about the people who didn't think it was him, but quickly changed their minds?

And as for Itachi, I do plan on breaking the wall eventually, but for now, we all get to torture DeiDei, so please don't kill me, or else you won't get any more story!

Anyways, hope you enjoyed this chapter (10 pages on Word)! Was it worth the wait?

See you next time!


	32. Chapter 32:  Hallucination?

I'm slightly surprised that I don't have as much time as I thought I would. Sorry about that. I do promise you that I won't drop this story, especially since I can see an ending to the story. Sorry that it's not quite as long as the original though.

A lot of people got the riddle that the Ganga River is in Liquid state, plus I want to use another riddle before I forget it, so here's a new riddle!

There is a small town. Some men shave themselves. The barber shaves all the men who do not shave themselves. Who shaves the barber?

… … … … …

Cin blinked wearily as she regained consciousness, and then she started to rub at her eyes to remove the sleep. It took a few moments, but eventually where she was started to sink in. Do you have any idea how horrible it felt to wake up from what felt like a nice dream to what felt like a nightmare? Yeah, factor in the fact that she's currently fearing for her life at the hands of a sadistic mad-scientist, and we have high-octane nightmare fuel, ready to go.

As she moved her left arm, she could feel something tugging at the crook of her elbow. Confused, she looked down, and promptly wished she hadn't. The tube sticking into her arm wasn't very comforting to her attempts to believe that all was well. Especially since it looked like it was connected to some sort of fluid bag that was putting something into her body. And considering where she was, she couldn't quite think of a good reason for it to be there. She tried. She gets points for trying, just doesn't succeed.

She could hear some beeps moving faster, and turned her head to see a monitor reacting to her heartbeat. Great, that was probably going to bring in Orochimaru fairly soon. She was sure that there was only so much you could do with a subject like her while unconscious; yeah, her powers were often on autopilot, but it would be a huge risk to attempt to trigger them when she would not be available to control them, considering the fact that they would drain extremely quickly.

And that would result in her death. Yeah, a dead lab rat would be pretty useless to Orochimaru. And currently, that was the only thing that made her feel remotely safe.

But there was a lot of things that could be done without killing her, and to be honest, Cin was pretty certain that she'd prefer death over some (okay, MOST) of those things.

This was seeming VERY familiar, as though she had seen this before…maybe in the plotline of some B-rated movie? That was slightly sickening. Not that she had anything against B-rated movies, in fact, she liked quite a few of them, but if her life was a B-rated movie, she'd have to admit that her life wasn't exactly realistic (which it's not).

Well, if it _was_ a plotline to a B-movie, someone should come to rescue her in three…two…one…

She flinched as the ceiling exploded, and then looked up in confusion, her eyes widening as she saw a figure up there, with what looked like long…blond(?) hair.

Cin didn't know how she should feel about the sudden rescue that might prove her depressing theory right. But if it could get her out of here, it couldn't be _all_ bad, could it?

Famous last words.

And that was precisely why her eyes must be deceiving her. She was going stir-crazy, she had cabin fever, or there was something hallucinogenic on that needle. It's not like there was any shortage on the possibilities behind this delusion.

"Cin! Cin!"

Wow, this was a very good delusion. It actually felt like she was getting shaken.

"Cin! Did he do something to you? Cin!"

He sounded so _real_, but could she really trust her instincts? Getting stabbed with a two-foot (_cough_ one-foot_ cough_) needle couldn't be good for her mind, even discounting the possibility that the torture instrument (_cough_ tiny prick_ cough_) had something hallucinogenic on it. She wouldn't put it past the snake (no offense to actual snakes out there) to do something sneaky like that to break her down.

But what if he really _was_ there? Then she'd be making it more dangerous for both of them since Orochimaru would surely send someone to check the noise soon. The guy was creepy, but she doubted that he was stupid on top of that (well, _completely_ stupid that was. Doubts about the extent of his common sense still existed due to the fact that he seemed perfectly willing to piss off the Akatsuki). However, despite how interesting this internal monologue was, it failed to solve the most pressing question.

Was this real? Or was it just wishful thinking.

"Cindra! _Look_ at me!"

He wasn't yelling. If it was all in her mind, wouldn't he be yelling? Just because no one'd be able to hear him except for her? But if it was in her mind, wouldn't he be quiet simply because she'd think of it as the best case scenario?

Ugh, this was worse than philosophy class. She never had liked Descartes, and now she was having her own little moment of doubt. It was freaking scary when you couldn't trust your own mind. It could be a good torture technique all on its own.

"Dang it!" Deidara swore, and suddenly she was getting picked up and thrown over his shoulder in the classic fireman hold.

"Hey!" she couldn't stop herself from letting out an exclamation as the blood rushed to her cheeks.

"Oh, so you _are_ awake in there?" Deidara seemed a little upset, "What was the big idea with ignoring me?"

Cin sighed; well, if this was a hallucination, then she had already acknowledged it, and therefore might as well finish the job.

"I was pretty sure that you were a hallucination, and acknowledging them is a good way to get trapped," she confessed, putting her elbow on his back as an attempt to keep her torso from flipping about like a rag doll, "I was trying to think of a way to figure out whether you were one or not for sure."

"Well, I hope you're convinced now, un!"

"Not quite, this could be a very real hallucination that I've just gotten completely sucked into by acknowledging your existence."

"I'm real."

"You'd be saying that if you were an illusion too," then she sighed, "But, since I've already been talking to you as if you existed, I might as well treat you as real at this point. So congratulations, Dei, as of the moment, you are real."

"Thank you for your permission," he grumbled, "And don't call me Dei!"

"Real Dei would've let me call him that," she muttered into his back.

"No, I wouldn't, un."

"My subconscious could've given that response too," she cut him off before he could respond to that, "By the way, why are we heading further into his lair?"

"By this point, his agents would be swarming my break-in point."

"Good answer," Cin approved, "Next question. Why am I being carried like this? It's not very comfortable."

"Um, cause we're running for our lives and don't want you holding us back, un?"

Cin snorted, "Running from enemies is the only thing I'm really good at. It's the only time I ever appreciate your fangirls."

"My fangirls? What are you talking about?"

Cin thought for a moment, before deciding that if it was a hallucination, there was no problem in talking about them. If it was real, then Deidara would get distracted if she didn't go ahead and tell him and put them both in danger.

"Your fans are very scary, Dei, they've treed me on a few occasions as I ran from them."

"You can defend yourself!"

"So you'll put me down?"

"No!" he laughed, "But why did you run from them?"

"Didn't want to get into trouble. It was easier just to run."

"I suppose that's true, un."

"So really, Dei, I can run for myself."

"Not fast enough to run out fully trained shinobi."

"I can outrun you guys."

"That's at your house where you have a superior knowledge of the lay of the land, and lots of little tricks. Here, you'll be caught very quickly."

"Look, if I _must_ be carried, can't I go piggy-back instead of the style of a sack of potatoes?"

She could feel his shoulders shake as Deidara snickered, "Only you, Cin, would worry about that when we're in the middle of running for our lives."

Cin forced herself to bite her tongue instead of arguing. They were running for their lives after all. It probably wasn't the best time to get picky. Not to mention that the currently stubborn set of her friend's shoulders practically screamed that she might as well save her breath 'cause there was no way she was getting her way anytime soon.

Bored out of her mind (really, only Cin), she started playing with Deidara's hair that was moving into her face every other step. It was just one of those things that made Dei himself.

Besides, it smelled nice…

…

…

Where did _that_ thought come from? Hold up, Deidara was her _friend_! It was sad that he was her _best_ friend and that the Akatsuki were almost her _only_ friends, but they were still her friends. It would completely upset the wagon if she had feelings for him.

So therefore, she resolves to pretend like nothing like this had ever crossed her mind…

…another strand of hair flopped across her face.

It wouldn't hurt to indulge or a little bit, would it? He would never have to know, no one would. And she'd forget about it soon.

Suddenly, Deidara was dodging a bolt of lightning, making Cin jerk where she was perched on his shoulder.

Of course, right now wasn't exactly the best time to indulge in miniature fantasies like this. How many times would she have to recall that they were in the middle of running for their lives before it'd sink in?

It was times like these when she'd honestly worry about her intelligence.

She grabbed on tightly to Deidara's back as she felt his arms start to throw his bombs at whatever enemy they had managed to confront. It was odd to see that he wasn't laughing, usually he'd be borderline hysterical at the mere thought that he'd be able to create impressive art like this.

(His definition of art, not quite hers unless it was applying to something where the bright spots of red were the sparks flying, and not blood)

Where was the rest of the Akatsuki anyways? She knew that she wasn't quite best buddies with any of them except Deidara, but she had been under the impression that they hadn't exactly _hated_ her. She might've read their reactions wrong, but she didn't really think so.

They wouldn't just leave her to the mercy of Orochimaru, would they?

No, she was valuable to them, for her healing ability if nothing else…

Suddenly, something hit Deidara, sending her flying off, crashing into the wall, and the blond bomber being propelled into her.

Their heads collided in the cliché accidental kiss, red flaming up into Cin's cheeks once she realized what had happened.

And, it was at that moment, that she woke up.

…

Or not.

And that meant one of two things.

One: This was a very strong hallucination.

Two: It was real, and she had just accidentally kissed her best friend.

Neither were favorable ways of looking at the situation…

…

Now, I'm sure that you're wondering how exactly we got to this situation. Last time we saw the Akatsuki, they were back at Cin's with the Konoha shinobi trying to figure out the best way to find Orochimaru's lair and rescue the DID.

Also, we still want to torture Deidara since Itachi is currently out of our reach.

Therefore, we shall go back to the previous days before this chapter occurred, after this brief interview (_cough_ torture _cough_) session with our favorite bomber!

"What's going on, un?"

[How nice of you to join us, Dei. I am Malice-Archangela, the author of this particular fanfiction.]

"The weasel was telling the truth?"

[Indeed. Anyways, we've got some questions for you…first, of all, we'll briefly use my tiny author power to bring back Itachi for _pheonixyfriend_ since this is her first review, but then the weasel is off limits!]

Itachi suddenly appeared in the stark white room, and immediately leveled a glare at the ceiling.

"I thought that you had fixed this problem."

[It takes a little time to completely set, in which time I have one last message to give you. _p__hoenixyfriend_ – "I just read the entire story in one sitting, and I must say that I'm impressed. I actually only found myself being referred here by one of TvTropes' pages on breaking the fourth wall and notable examples of such in fanfiction. Since it appears that Deidara is set to appear in the breaking of the fourth wall for the next five chapters, might I make a few queries and comment a bit?

Itachi: While I realize that your situation concerning the fourth wall is annoying, do you not enjoy, even in the back of your mind, the knowledge that you know and hear things that are the truth, and have a higher and deeper understanding of the world than your peers as a result? Do the gains not make up for the cruelty that you suffer at the authoress' hands? In concerns to MaliceArchangela herself, I would like to note that certain interactions between the reviewers and Itachi seem rather forced and unnatural, in that Itachi would rarely lower himself and sacrifice his dignity to do some of the things that they ask.

Deidara: Having fun? Isn't it nice, knowing that your raven haired compatriot is not losing his mind as you suspected? I assume that you have regained your memories of the events at the end of the last story concerning the utter demolition of the fourth wall, if only hazily, correct? Do you find the situation amusing? Disturbing? Terrifying? Unsettling? Worthy of Hidan-level expletives?

Now, for either of you two: do you truly think this is the oddest of all types of breaking the fourth wall? If so, I must inform you that that is, sadly, not the case. Even several of my own stories have their own version, interwoven throughout. I suppose that AK: PCO demonstrates it best, though I doubt you would enjoy reading about yourself being turned into kittens post-mortem.

Ja ne!" Itachi, you first.]

The weasel stood up straight and cleared his expression, "Only because Malice-san is forcing me to tell the truth, I will admit to the fact that I would enjoy the knowledge if the consequences were not quite as annoying. I appreciate that you understand that I am being forced to act out of my character, which is the main reason why I dislike this Fourth-Wall breaking and wish it to end, something that I was sure had happened after last chapter."

[Thank you for being polite, 'tachi. Dei, your turn.]

The bomber made a face, "I'm still not convinced that Itachi's not insane. He's an Uchiha, it practically comes with the territory. And now that you mention it, that incident definitely is coming back in full force," he shuddered, "I hope that never happens again. It was worse than when the Uchiha used his eye technique on me. I could only be thankful that the ones who liked me were completely focused on defending me instead of trying to seduce me, or else I would've been in real trouble. Definitely worthy of Hidan-level expletives."

"What do you mean, it's not the oddest type?" Itachi blinked, façade subsiding for a moment to express his confusion.

All three of us look up the story you mentioned out of curiosity.

[Huh, nice job with the Author-ex-Machina. The fact that you specifically point out instances of clichéness makes it better.]

"Can you get her to threaten Tobi with atomization if he doesn't shut up here, un?"

[I'm sure she's occupied with her own story.]

"Hn."

[What do you mean, "At least she's helpful?"]

"Exactly what it sounds like."

[You are really mean, Itachi…uh-oh, Fourth Wall taking over story again! Going to answer the other questions before I run out of room/time! *snapping my fingers, Itachi vanishes, leaving Deidara alone* _ImawesomeKL_ - "Awww that was nice! Hidans so mean *Anime cries* anyways can you please tell Deidara the his fangirls have written fanfics about him.( I have) also can u get him to yell Sasori and Hidan, fine don't die anyways...Sasori should check his puppets ( Tobi alert!) and Hidan should just try and find his sythe. *evil laughter*"]

Deidara blinked before muttering to himself, "I think I understand why Itachi was cracked now."

[Care to share it with the class?]

"If what Itachi says is true, un, I'm sure you already have."

[Touché. Anyways, you must answer!]

Deidra thought closer about the words, "People write fanfiction about me? Why?"

[Cuz you're an anime character and a villain.]

The bomber decided to ignore that last bit, "And I guess I'll tell Sasori and Hidan when the author finally lets me go back."

[Eh, suppose that works for me…_ Metal Butter_ – "Aw! Itachi, that stubborn Uchiha. May his duct tape turn alive, backfire on him, wrap him up, put cat ears on him and take pictures of him and sell it to fangirls! I accept your, erm, apology. Heh, heh. If the Dei questions are starting next chapter, then could you ask him if:

He's had gay thoughts?

Gay thoughts of Sasori?

Gay thoughts of Itachi?

He knows what November 5 means?

annd could you tell him that he's the perfect uke. ]

Deidara blinked, "Gay thoughts?"

[Yep.]

"Isn't that a little personal, un?"

[That's the idea!]

Deidara did his best to pick what looked to be the safest question, "What does November 5 mean?"

[According to _Metal Butter_, it's SasoDei day.]

He blanched at that, unsure of what to say.

[Come on, Dei, answer the question!]

"Definitely understanding why Itachi was insane."

[Wow, you're almost as rude and mean as the weasel.]

"Can't you just let me go now, un?"

[Now why would I want to do that?]

"Because deep down you actually have a heart?"

[I do have a heart, I'm just not going to apply it to this situation. Answer the questions.]

"You can't make me."

[And why is that?]

"You don't know how to make me answer it, otherwise you would've forced me to say it already instead of dragging it on in hopes that it'll come to you."

[…you're smarter than you look. Fine, we'll move to the next one _Annibellee_ – "I thought it really was Deidara. :'D Then I found out that it was a dream.. I was like: NUUUU! XD So yeah, I am now making an official ship-couple-thing CinDei! :'D God I fail, anyway, I was SO excited that I literally squealed with happiness when I saw that you updated. XD For some reason, my account doesn't let me see that you updated till like a day or two later. :/"]

"What was a dream, un?"

[None of your business.]

"You mentioned my name…"

[That happens a lot. Still none of your business, so move on.]

"…what's CinDei?"

[You figured out SasoDei, but you can't figure out CinDei?]

"…shut up."

[_SakuraDreamerz_ – "To Deidara: well, at least Itachi has someone to believe him now! P.S: Deidara: since Itachi got only a couple of stuff for the fangirl timer, you get to find some of them until Itachi can be reached again. these are the items needed left: 1 piece of ubatonium, a few pieces of Konan's paper, some of Sasori's poison, a grandfather clock, some data chips from another world (literally from another world!), and quick-dry red paint. Oh, and ell the others that I said Hi and watch out for snakes!"]

"Fangirl timer?"

[You'll have to ask Itachi on his time, since I don't recall what it is. Time to say goodbye since I've got stuff to do, and next time we'll go back to what happened with the Akatsuki to lead up to the rescue mission!]

"Wait!"


	33. Chapter 33: Finding Cin

Hey, look who's finally updated again? Some of you might also notice that on top of this, I am also uploading a new story for Hetalia fanfiction. That story has nothing to do with why it's taken me so long to update, nor will it be a factor in why it will probably take a while for me to update again. I've just got a lot of stuff I'm doing this summer, and so won't always have time.

Just wanted to give a heads up there, and hope that ya'll enjoy this chapter!

There is a small town. Some men shave themselves. The barber shaves all the men who do not shave themselves. Who shaves the barber?

No one. The barber's a woman.

Thank my dad for that.

… … … … …

"So, do you have your heading, un?"

"Be patient! It's not like I'm a Sasuke-sensing rod!"

"Of course not, if you did, then you would have long since found Sasuke."

"Shut up, Neji! It's not my fault that I can only seem to find him when I'm not actively looking for him!"

"Hn."

"I don't speak that stupid Hn-language!"

"I believe Itachi was saying that there is your problem there."

"Thank you, Kisame…it really feels weird thanking you for anything."

"I agree, it definitely feels weird to be thanked by a Konoha kunoichi…nice, but weird."

"What do you mean, that's my problem!"

"Hn, you are trying too hard, and therefore are not able to find my foolish younger brother. Try to find something or someone else and we might actually succeed in our mission."

"…eh?"

*sigh*

"Maybe you should try to find Pein instead or something."

"But Pein's right there…"

"Close your eyes and pretend like he isn't then, un."

"Fine…"

"Ow! You idiot!"

"Found him!"

*groan*

"We didn't want you to actually _find_ him, idiot…why haven't we destroyed you yet, anyways?"

"Beats me, un."

"Yeah, no one in Konoha gets it either."

"Why so little faith in me?"

"Hn."

…

"Why don't we try at that creepy house that's been behind us this entire time?"

…

"That's actually a good idea, Tenten."

"Just because I'm not a major character in the manga/anime, doesn't mean I'm not smart."

"…There's no right answer to that statement, is there?"

"You're finally learning, aren't you, Neji."

"That isn't a question, is it?"

"Nope."

…

[And it's time to chat with Deidara!]

"Can't you leave me be, un?"

[Nope: _ImawesomeKL - _Heya was so happy when I saw you updated. Anyways I decided that today I would give something to Deidara. So here, * Gets out a sasodei picture* after you see the picture here's the real gift * gives a Tobi detector and some puke candy.* the Tobi detector should help you dodge and  
>stay away from Tobi whenever he's in the area and the candy should help if someone he does get to you. Anyways I hope you told Hidan and Sasori about the missing things and I give you good luck in finding some of the things you need for your list"]<p>

Deidara just blinked before promptly dropping the picture as he realized what it was exactly.

He liked the second gift a lot better, and grinned.

"Thanks!"

[_Metal Butter_ – "Anyway, for the question: 'Well, Dei, do you know there are several deathfics of you that bash you and make you look like a complete meanie? Which you probably are cause you're in the Akatsuki but yeah. I mean, they had you kill Tobi, Sasori, Kisame. Woah. Also nice going with the Cin kiss, heh, heh.'"]

"Cin…kiss, un?"

[Is that a little bit of red I see on your cheeks?]

"Akatsuki don't blush, un!"

[I don't recall saying that it was blush…it could've been blood.]

"…"

[Anyways, I find it funny that the kiss was the only part you got out of that statement.]

He took a second look at the rest of the statement.

"I don't know why you're that surprised that I killed Tobi. I've been trying to do that ever since they forced me to work with him. Besides, I highly doubt that this two-bit author can do justice to how evil I am."

[So you admit that I exist?]

"Now who's only catching part of the statement, un?"

[Moving on…_ Annibellee_ – "Oh, and tell Deidara I said hai. 83"]

"…hi?"

[Yep. _Simplicity-Shitsuboku_ – "You'll probably get used to the Fourth Wall faster than you think. For now, here is some colored explosive clay. Why? You're tied for first for my favorite character in the Akatsuki! SS"]

"I hope you're right, and thanks for the clay! Who's the other favorite character?"

[I dunno. Just passing on the questions/comments! _SakuraDreamerz_ – "Deidara: the fangirl timer is one of my contraptions that allows any of the akatsuki members to set a limit on the number of days for fangirls to not appear and bother you, Cin, or any other members. the limit on the number of days that they can not appear is 30 days though. P.S: you and Itachi both get to break the fourth wall in my collab with Malicearchangela: 'Our Akatsuki Chronicles'!"]

"Is the time limit in the storyverse, or in Malice-san's world?"

[Idk, you'd have to ask _Sakura_-san.]

"What do I need again, un?"

[1 piece of ubatonium, a few pieces of Konan's paper, some of Sasori's poison, a grandfather clock, some data chips from another world (literally from another world!), and quick-dry red paint]

"I guess I'd better get started."

[That would be a good idea. _Darkpetal16_ – "Questions for Deidara...Has he ever met someone by the name of Ino... if he has, is she his long lost twin or something? What does he think of Cin? :D Finally... :D Could he tell Tobi that his fan girl (me) loves him whenever he sees him again? That would be most wonderful."]

"Ino? Don't think so. Highly doubt it. Why?"

[Just someone in Konoha who resembles you with the long blonde hair in a ponytail with a long thick strand over the eye.]

"Someone stole my look?"

[Guess so.]

"And as for Cin, she's my friend?"

[Is that it?]

"Why are you asking?"

[Cuz the readers sincerely doubt that your relationship is as simple as that.]

"What? Why?"

[Your actions have been hinting things.]

"T-t-that's a lie!"

[And I think we've gotten our answer, thank you very much! Now text Tobi the message!]

"Bossy author," but he did it anyways.

[Good! Next…_ KirvoraxxxItaDei_ – "Tell Dei-Dei-chan he needs to ask Cin out. if he doesn't i will tell all of his fangirls about this fanfic(im going to anyways. but shhhhhh) and have them sendin yaoi things. and tell him that ItaDei Yaoi is better than SasoDei Yaoi"]

"What's with all the comments about me and Cin? And me and Itachi? Sasori?"

[Yep, isn't it interesting?]

"That's one word for it."

[So…are you going to ask her out?]

"Can I at least think about it?"

[Guess we can let you do that.]

"Thanks."

[Don't thank me yet. _Phoenixyfriend_ – "Now, for Deidara: Pass along my regards to Itachi for dealing with my final questions before he go lock out of the loop (by his own choice, mind) in such a polite manner, and for complimenting me. For the sake of my own ego, I'll choose to believe that he did so because I made a cohesive attempt to reply without sounding like a fangirl, and to use sophisticated language to do so."]

"Okay, easy. Next?"

[Nope! There's a lot of good questions, so I'm breaking them up into parts. Part one: Do you find it amusing or irritating when people mistake you for a girl? My own stories involve you generally being indifferent or amused, and in one you even take advantage of it and troll the Akatsuki, but you are MaliceArchangela's here, so I don't really know."]

"Um…I suppose it's pretty funny at times. Especially when you see the faces of the people once they find out my real gender. I haven't taken advantage of it yet, especially since I do my best not to encourage it, but I suppose that if I have to, I'll do it."

[Part two: "Do believe Hidan in the fact that Jashin exists? There is the plane of the dead, the plane of the living, and the plane of the demonic. The plane of the dead is run by the Shinigami, who takes on the visage of an old man in traditional clothing, attempting to scare whomever he can when he visits the Kami's realm. The realm of the living is run by Kami, who is visually a beautiful but strict looking middle-aged woman with blonde hair and classical Grecian clothing, as is usually seen on statues of Aphrodite or other such goddesses. The realm of demons is run by Jashin, who prefers to look like a man in his early twenties, complete with blue hair, an open Hawaiian shirt, khaki cargo shorts, and a surfboard keychain. Surf's up, dudes. Hidan is immortal because he's got a LOT of good favor with this guy. Hidan is quite possibly his favorite mortal ever."]

"That's an interesting view, un. Considering the nature of Hidan's religion, I think it's best for me to have a little belief. Besides it keeps Hidan quiet and NOT trying to kill me."

[Part three: "I'd love to send one of my minions to aid you, but this is Malice-san's story, so it wouldn't really feel right unless she gave permission, which is unlikely. We fanfiction writers tend to be rather protective of our own works. However, I think she may make an exception, since I heard that you need data chips from another world...Which reminds me: you read my story, so does that mean you already knew about Tobi being evil? And not Madara? If you have, I think I've forgotten. Or MA just wiped your memory."]

"Minions? That sounds cool."

[I'll consider it.]

"But yeah, help as far as the fangirl timer would be welcome."

[You'll like the next one: "Please feed Hidan some explosive clay and detonate it. I want to hear both his and Jashin's reaction."]

Deidara grinned.

[So we'll momentarily stop this and go to see what happens, because I think this'll be interesting to see.]

…

_Hidan took a spoon of the odd-looking red substance and ate it. Pein must've been cooking again, and normally he'd avoid it like it was the plague, but he was just TOO hungry this time._

_Therefore, he gulped down the clay-flavored dish in an attempt to persuade his now-finicky tastebuds that it wasn't as disgusting as he thought._

_Of course, it really was._

_And he hadn't even known the worst of it._

_At first, he didn't really think much of the rumbling in his stomach, aside from resting a hand over it and praying to Jashin for the weird feeling to subside._

"_**Hidan."**_

_Hidan looked up at the sky (ceiling) to answer a voice that only he could hear, the voice of the great and powerful Jashin._

"_Yes, my lord?"_

"_**Hidan, beware. Something is…"**_

_And explosion then rocked Hidan back as his stomach was ripped apart. He lay on his back in stunned silence, confused as to how Pein's cooking could've reached such a level of horribleness._

"_**Well, expletive."**_

_Finally, it hit him that even Pein's cooking wasn't so bad, and perhaps there was a reason that the food had tasted clay-like. And there was only one person he could think of that would cause something like that._

"_Deidara!"_

"_**I did try to warn you."**_

"_Jashin, I will sacrifice him in your name!"_

"_**You might want to stitch your body back together unless you plan to hunt him down with your guts spilling out."**_

"_You favorite disciple has his guts falling out and all you can do is make useless suggestions?"_

"_**I think that it is very good advice. What else am I supposed to do?"**_

"_For starters, you could _help_ me."_

"_**Not in the contract. I'm the God of Suffering here."**_

"_And you're also the one that gave me an immortal body that can't heal itself!"_

"_**Not my fault you didn't ask for something that would heal itself at a rapid rate. You just requested immortality."**_

"_Gah! Expletive!"_

"_**Are you swearing at your God?"**_

"_Ah, sorry Jashin!"_

"_**I love my job. Now go ask Kakuzu to stich you back together. You are no use to me falling apart."**_

…

Deidara was snickering as the scene faded back to the question room.

[I'm glad that you enjoyed that.]

"Okay, I might've been wrong. There are some benefits to this Fourth Wall thing."

[Glad you're seeing things my way. Final part: "Did you know that people enjoy pairing the Akatsuki teams up romantically? I, personally, find it a bit disturbing considering the age differences in most teams, and the fact that Pein x Konan means either necrophilia or a really malnourished cripple. The only team pairing that I've managed to make not-creepy other than the Pein x Konan that you read in AK: PCO involved reincarnation and a genderbend, but that hasn't been posted yet."]

"Romantically?"

[Yeah. We wants to see your take on it.]

"So that would mean…me and Sasori? Me and that Art-hater?"

[He likes art.]

"He likes what he _thinks_ is art!"

[Same thing.]

"Wrong!"

[You wish.]

"I know!"

[And once again I'm having a pointless argument with a fictional character. I really need to get a life.]

…

Now, during the Akatsuki and Konoha shinobi trying to figure out the best way to start finding Cin, the girl was NOT sleeping like the last two chapters would imply.

In fact, currently, Cin was running around the lab room, trying to avoid Orochimaru with his latest torture implement.

What was this object you might ask?

Well, I'll be glad to give you an answer.

It was a stuffed clown toy with a creepy smile that encouraged nightmares.

Yeah, any wonder why she was running?

Orochimaru finally stopped running (hey, Cin could be pretty fast when she wanted to) and turned to Kabuto and Sasuke.

"I thought civilians felt more relaxed when they had stuffed toys to squeeze?" Orochimaru sincerely was confused.

"Hn." Guess who. No, seriously, guess.

Kabuto opened the book that Orochimaru had found the information in, and pointed at the sentence, "My lord, it says civilian _children_ prefer that; adults usually don't."

"I know that!" the villain blinked, "Wait, you mean she's not a child?"

"You didn't know that," it was a statement, not a question.

"Of course not!" Orochimaru pointed at the still-running Cin, "Look at her size! Surely she's a child!"

"She's nineteen," Sasuke interjected.

Orochimaru stared.

He promptly dropped the toy.

"Get that out of my sight, Kabuto," he walked off to get back to his work, "It's creeping me out."


	34. Chapter 34:  I Love Turtles

Sorry for the late update, but on the brightside, I've got a job! I work in Animal Care at a vet, so I'm the person who takes care of your animals when they're being boarded. Appreciate us, please. We don't like your dogs biting us, or cleaning up after your pets' messes if they aren't properly potty-trained.

Also, I have a quote that ya'll need to tell me the person who said it. I can't imagine that it'll be as easy as you think, but give it a try. Also, looking it up online is CHEATING!

"It's you and me, Gin Goh! I will make you and everyone in this village recognize me, for one day..._**I**_ will be Hokage!"

Good luck with that! And here's your riddle:

A bus driver was heading down a street in Colorado. He went right past a stop sign without stopping, he turned left where there was a "no left turn" sign and he went the wrong way on a one-way street. Then he went on the left side of the road past a cop car. Still - he didn't break any traffic laws. Why not?

… … … … …

Cin sighed as she wielded her knife, sawing away at the worms on the cutting board.

"Why does a villain even _keep_ turtles?" she wondered aloud.

"Because I like turtles."

She jerked around to see Orochimaru standing there.

Fortunately, he had gotten rid of the creepy doll.

"Then why not use the turtles instead of snakes?"

The snake-villain blinked a moment, giving her a look as though he was asking her if she _really_ was that stupid, "Because everyone likes turtles."

"So?"

"It's against the Code."

"Code?" her voice was skeptical.

"Yes, the Code."

"Villains have a code?"

"Code."

"That's what I said."

"No, you said code. It's Code."

"What's the difference?"

"It's capitalized."

"I'm saying it, what does capitalization count?"

"In the event that someone is scribing this conversation, I want it to be correct."

Cin groaned, "Fine. Villains have a Code?"

The man's eyes rolled, "Duh. You don't wake up one day and just _decide_ to be evil. It's a long and complicated process fraught with danger and with lots of rules."

"I thought villains were supposed to break rules."

"These rules are different."

"In what way?"

"They just are!"

"That's a weak excuse."

Considering how much attitude she was giving him, it should surprise no one that at that moment, Cin could feel her consciousness quickly speeding away with a quick concussive burst of pain at her frontal lobe.

She really needed to do something about that little habit of not knowing when to keep her mouth shut.

…

[Okay, now, before we get back to THE KISS, we have Deidara here to answer questions.]

"Un."

[_SakuraDreamerz_ – "To Deidara:in the story world, silly! anyways, I have a hint to you on how to get the ubatonium, though Malice-chan already knows what it is!"]

"I have no clue what you are talking about…and what is this _hint_ of what you speak?"

[Dei, remember, _we_ ask the questions. Next! _KirvoraxxxItaDei_ – "Dei. ASK CINDRA OUT YOU PRICK! Oh and tell Hidan that Jashin-sama is the ultimate God"]

Deidara was already texting Hidan the statement before he realized the first part, and jerked, the phone falling out of his grasp.

"What?"

[I thought her wording was quite clear.]

"Why is everyone telling me to ask Cin out? We're just friends!"

[You sure about that?]

"Of course, un!"

[Sure –_liar_- whatever you say.]

"I'm the person whose feelings are being talked about here! I think I know what I'm talking about!"

[And I'm the author who is writing about the person who's feelings are being talked about here. I _know_ that I know what I'm talking about.]

'Just move to a new question already!"

[Jeez, alright Mister Touchy. _Simplicity-Shitsuboku_ – "Since you wanted to know Dei, my other favorite is Hidan. Though I am in no way mad that you blew him up. It was hilarious. Since the clay was red I'm guessing you used the colored clay I gave you. Brownie points for you 'cause now I feel like I had a part in it!"]

Deidara grinned, "So long as you understand that art is a bang!"

[And I think we all understand that you are an arsonist.]

"And proud of it!"

[Readers, this is not something to be proud of, especially considering that Deidara is a power-crazy murderer who is much less nice than he currently seems to be in this humble author's story. Please do not attempt to emulate him.]

"Just because you can't understand…"

[I like fireworks when it doesn't put people in danger. So that's enough out of you. We'll be moving on to the next question now. _universal646_ – "Hi!Yes, dei is finally associating with the , since dei has long hair and generally gets mistaken as a girl, i would like for you to give him this:*takes out scissors from behind back*Youll thank me later."]

Deidara looked completely incredulous.

"You want me to cut off my hair!"

[It _would_ be easier to fight, I imagine.]

"That's not the point!"

[Then may we ask what _is_?]

"You may."

[…and the point is…?]

"I never said that I would _tell_ you."

[Great, you're acting like Itachi now.]

"I would never!"

[Yip yip yip, that's all I hear right about now. Just take the gift and deal with it.]

"…fine…"

[Moving on…_ Phoenixyfriend_ – "My,my, I did not expect your reactions. You, and Malice-san, were far more receptive to my review than I had expected. I had assumed that I may have been a little too... pushy, I suppose, but you took it all in good cheer. I thank you for that. My apologies, but at least one embarrassing question per review is necessary, so here's two: 1. Would you ever attempt infiltrating Orochimaru's lair as a female stripper?"]

"Okay, starting with question one…maybe. If I had absolutely no other choice, I suppose I would have to consider the action, and depending on the circumstances, I might follow through. I can't say that I'd be wild about the idea, though."

[Not so bad, is it? "2. One word that you would associate with an Akatsuki member when asked about what 'fun times in bed' would be like with them. I expect a list, Deidara."]

A crimson blush crossed across the blond bomber's face. He opened his mouth as to protest…

[Answer the question.]

"But…"

[You should know better than to appeal to me now, Deidei. Answer.]

"Fine…Pein – sleep. Konan – origami. Kakuzu – money. Sasori – work. Hidan – sacrifices. Zetsu – creepy… Tobi – cloying. Kisame – blue. Itachi – sleep. Happy?"

[Eh, I guess. "My minions do consider themselves 'cool' as well, and several are... giddy at the thought of a cameo. As I said, however, Malice-san has the final say. You shall have to negotiate with her. Until then, those data chips are not within the realm of possibility; I'm limited to only data like this, for now. I also noticed that it appears that MA did wipe your memory after all. More's the pity, but necessary, I suppose. Do me a favor, will you? The next time someone asks why you joined Akatsuki, please tell them that it was because you lost a bet. It's almost true, after all. It appears that TenTen is developing some Fourth Wall abilities of her own. How would you feel if she were to join us? If she doesn't, then at least compliment her for her Genre Savvy locating skills. Ja ne."]

"I don't guess I have much choice in the matter of congratulating Tenten, but I will. Also, could someone talk to Malice-san about getting me those data chips?"

[Good, well, since it's late and I really need to go to sleep, but also want to update, here's your complete chapter. Sorry it took so long and it's so short. Forgive me, please! I will try to do better!]


	35. Chapter 35:  End of it All

I've noticed that I've gotten quite a few new alerters recently. To those, welcome to the story! I'm quite impressed that you read it all and got up to this point.

"It's you and me, Gin Goh! I will make you and everyone in this village recognize me, for one day...**_I_** will be Hokage!"

To be honest, I really wasn't expecting anyone to get this right, so it's probably a little mean of me to try and trick ya'll about that.

The correct answer is that one of my favorite comic book characters, Deadpool, was the one who said it. For those of you who don't know who he is, he is a mutant from the Marvel universe whose powers of regeneration possibly exceed Wolverines. I say possibly because Deadpool has had his head severed from his body, but not died (a lá Hidan), and in fact, was able to heal it once it was placed back onto his neck. As far as I know, Wolverine hasn't managed that yet. However, the main reason why I really like him is for a reason that ya'll probably won't be too surprised about…he is known as the Merc with a Mouth since he never stops talking, even to the point of BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL.

Yeah, he's just that awesome. As a result, he's made quite a few popular culture references, check this one out: media. comicvine uploads/ 9/99420/ 2038591-3eb26bc57dc05eb05d05b31245b5 4e2b. jpeg (remove the spaces).

As a response to ILIKECATS3600 – sorry, but tell your sister that it was a good thought, but not quite the right answer to the riddle.

As for the answer to the riddle…he was walking

Also, I'm pretty sure that I've asked this before, but I don't think I actually got an answer.

I've noticed that people seem to be very open to the CinDei pairing, and I'm just curious why this is so? It's just, she often seems like a Mary Sue to me, so is it just the humor that lets people tolerate it or what? If someone could give me an answer, I'd appreciate it.

**… … … … …**

Deidara was completely stunned, and it was all he could do not to drop the accident-prone civilian on her butt.

Had they just…? A light blush dusted his cheeks, and he felt angry at himself for letting it happen.

At least it wasn't as bad as with Cin, whose face could easily be mistaken for a tomato.

"Hey, lovebirds, snap out of it!" a bun-headed brunette yelled as she flung herself into the fight.

Deidara suddenly found himself responding, "Well, at least you're genre savvy!"

"Wrong time, but thanks, blondie!"

Wow, and he thought that _Cin_ was the only one who had the guts to say something like that to the Akatsuki…

…wait…

He came back to himself in just enough time to see Cin dropping towards the ground a good distance below them. On the bright side, she wasn't screaming. On the other side, it probably had something to do with the fact that she was still in shock from their unplanned…collision.

_Kiss_

"Who asked you?" Deidara grumbled to the author as he shot himself down to sweep her up with a catch that was too close to the ground for the girl's comfort.

"About time," she grumbled, looking away from him as he placed her gently onto her feet.

He grinned at her, covering up his slight discomfort with his usual brashness. There would be plenty of time to ponder this new development after they had all escaped.

Normally, he'd be in the thick of it, setting off bombs recklessly and laughing hysterically…but due to Pein's orders, he was supposed to grab Cin and get out _pronto_.

Yep, Pein's orders. Nothing more, unlike what some of the readers seemed to think for some reason…

…he was starting to see exactly what it was that annoyed Itachi so much.

"_Sasuke!_"

Great, it sounded like the Kyuubi brat had found his quarry. Well, hopefully that would keep mini-Uchiha out of the fray, at least until Cin was safe…

Who was _putting_ these absurd thoughts in his head?

He was slightly shocked to feel something whack the top of his head. He looked down, startled, to see Cin with her hand still raised from where it had struck him.

"I certainly hope that what you're thinking about is how we're supposed to escape this mess!"

The blond looked around to see that he was standing in the midst of the battle, holding the healer in bridal style.

EVERYONE was staring at them, the fight momentarily at a standstill.

Deidara bit his lip.

"STUPID AUTHOR!"

**…**

A steaming blond bomber appeared in the question-answer room (completely against his own free will), his arms still in the position that he would've been in had he still been holding Cin (which he wasn't, so it probably meant that when he returned, he'd find her more than a little angry about getting dropped onto the ground, _again_).

He gritted his teeth, "I _hate_ you."

[Hate's an awfully strong word.]

"I could always take a leaf from Hidan's book…"

[Or I could go ahead and ply you with questions.]

"I prefer…"

[That doesn't matter.]

"I think it does, un."

[Do explain.]

"The readers are here to see _me_. Not hear you blabber."

[Au contraire, I believe a good portion of the readers are here to see me torture you.]

"…"

[…]

"Sadistic fangirls."

[Preaching to the choir here, Dei. Let's move along now. _0Kuro Tenshi0_ – "Question for Deidei-chan: What's your favorite color?"]

"Amber," he shot off before seriously thinking about the mess he had just gotten into.

[Color of Cin's eyes?]

"What? No!"

[Oh, really? I just went back and looked at the first chapter to recall her original description, and I quite plainly put down that she had _amber_ eyes.]

"Coincidence."

[Then please, explain why it is your favorite color.]

"I don't feel like it."

[Quite childish behavior for a member of the Akatsuki.]

"You're acting childish yourself, un."

[I'm the author of a fanfiction devoted to parody and humor. I don't think anyone expects me to be overly mature. And even if they did, after all of the writing they've read of mine, I think they were disillusioned many _many_ chapters ago.]

"…"

[So, are you going to admit the _true_ reason you like the color amber, or are you going to think up some boldfaced lie to save face that we'll all see right through?]

A stubborn look crossed his face, "I like amber because it is the color of my clay mixed with blood."

[And I think we all have our answer! And now for a new reviewer: _Mybfflisazombie_ – "As for Dei-Dei : why won't you ask Cin out already? Psh, it's no secret that you like her, dot deny it! Oh can you tell Sasori I said and hi and that I love him ? Also ask him if he will ever love? Since he's going to be alive for a long time why doesnt he? Also, to make your life easier I'm giving you a 4th-wall breaking coupon that can be used once so that ALL of the Akatsuki (and maybe even the Konoha ninja's) will feel you (and Itachi's) pain and so you won't have to endure this alone. Remember to ask Cindra out or all the CinDei shippers will break the 4th-wall forever and you'll be stuck with Malice-chan's voice in your head!"]

"Why do I need to ask her out?"

[Because it's not in her character to ask you out, or even realize that she likes you, so you must make the first move.]

"That's not what I meant!"

[That's what it sounded like.]

"That doesn't mean anything!"

[Well, that's not very nice at all. Anyways, answer the rest!]

"Yeah, yeah," the blond groaned, slipping out the cellphone to text Sasori mechanically.

It didn't take too long before he had gotten a response.

_{Love is unnecessary since it's not forever. So, no. I don't need love slowing me down. The only thing I will ever think of in a way that people think of as "love" would be my art.}_

[Sorry, _Mybfflisazombie_, Sasori seems to be in a bad mood. Anyways, I'm going to make you save the coupon for a bit, I've got plans for that *evil grin*.]

"Oh, joy."

[_DokuHimeKami_ – "Dei-kun: Good luck with asking Cin out! I ship you two...FIGHTING! And can you give this unlimited free dango coupon and teleporting gum to Itachi? And Here's one ton of poison explosive clay! Tell Sasori I love him plz!  
>(ﾉヮ)ﾉ*:･ﾟ"]<p>

"What's this shipping thing people keep exclaiming about?!"

[Don't break the laws of punctuation.]

"It's your fault anyways…" he notices the gifts, "…ooh! Clay! Okay, I'll tell him! Don't expect him to respond favorably!"

*a few minutes pass*

_{What's with all these love confessions? Stop sending them to me from your imaginary friends, brat.}_

[You're a meanie.]

"Says the sadistic author."

[I'm not sadistic.]

'You're a writer. Doesn't it come with the territory?"

[No…*shifty eyes*…_ Authorchik039_ – ''you should just cut all your hair off, all you look like is a crossdressing Ino Yamanaka and its not pretty, unless you were going for that look?"]

"Who's Ino Yamanka? And why should I chop _my_ hair off? Why can't _she_ cut off _her_ hair!"

[It doesn't work that way. Though you're welcome to give it a try, if you want.]

"Or I can just go ahead and chop it off myself."

[Whatever you want.]

"Will you leave me alone?"

[No.]

"Than what's the point of offering?"

[It's nice.]

"Since when are you nice?"

[…moving on…: _JLWafflezBrony_ – "Hmm... I like it! Also, ask Dei-Dei-chan if he, or any of the Akatsuki are Bronies!"]

"What are bronies?"

[Bronies.]

"What?"

[It's Bronies. Not bronies.]

"What's the difference?"

[Capital B.]

"I don't care."

[I'll take the fact that you don't seem to know what I'm talking about to mean that the answer is no.]

"That would probably be best."

[_Phoenixyfriend_ – "Oh... is that a blush that Malice-san mentioned? Now, now, Deidara, no naughty thoughts about your... coworkers. I did discern that you appear to have forgotten Cin. Is she not, to a certain extent, a member of Akatsuki as well? You did not include her in the list..."]

"Cin's not an official member…fine, Cin – reading. Happy?"

[I suppose. Next part: "The embarrassing question, and this is one that you are likely one of the few that can answer, other than the object of the question himself: Is Sasori a eunuch? And if so, was the castration self-inflicted?"]

"I'll ask him, but don't expect a good mood from him once I ask."

And he did so.

_{Seriously, what's with the weird questions? I suppose you could say…yes to both considering that I'm completely a puppet now. Now leave me be!}_

["Here is what may as well equate to a ticket. It is for Hidan, to replace you once your five-chapter stint has been exhausted. Be a dear and give it to him, will you? You can transfer to the torment to him soon, dear."]

"I'll hand it over to him soon."

[Please remind Orochimaru that Rule 34 (no, not that one) on the Evil Overlord List is "I will not turn into a snake. It never helps." Of course, only do so if such an occasion occurs in which such a comment would be applicable."]

"I'll do that when I get put back!"

[Fine *sighs* I guess I'll put you back then.]

**…**

Deidara was dropped back in, just in time to see Cin fall to the floor.

"Well, well, this isn't very nice," he could hear Orochimaru's oily voice make him strongly wish to bleach his brain of the memory. He turned to see that the snake-wizard's neck had been elongated to the point that it looked like he had turned into a snake.

"Yeah, well you keep breaking the Rules yourself! Rule 34 of the Evil Overlord List is "I will not turn into a snake!"

"What? That'ssss not in the rulessssssss!"

"You wish!"

And the argument just kept escalating, increasing around to include the entire room.

And no one noticed that Cin was fuming on the floor.

Her eyebrow was twitching furiously.

She had a huge headache, her power seemed to be leaking, and all the arguing was NOT helping.

It was getting to be way too much.

"WILL YOU _EXPLETIVING_ STOP IT ALREADY YOU _EXPLETIVES_!"


	36. Chapter 36:  All Together

Hey, sorry for the long delay! And sorry for the short chapter too.

On the bright side, I found the video with one of the hairstyles I see on Cin (you know, besides her long braid with venom-hiding flowers). It's called the crown braid, and I can't do it!

*sad face*

Out of curiosity, I was wondering what music you would associate with Cindra and Deidara. I think that it might help my inspiration to listen to some of it, since that's what I do for my pure fiction (no fan involved) stories.

I've just got so much going on right now, that I think it might help, if any of you can think of any songs.

**… … … … …**

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…"

A loud yelling could be heard, but Cin's head was pounding too much for her to determine who it was.

"…OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOO…"

Could someone shut that racket up?

"…OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOO…"

Seriously, someone make it stop.

"…OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOO…"

Enough…

"…OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOO…"

"SHUT THE _EXPLETIVE_ UP!"

"…OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOO!"

Her eyes flew open as the scream ended, narrowing in on where she felt the sound was coming…and promptly stopped calling it a girly-scream.

Why? Good question. Mainly because the fangirls of the person screaming would kill her if she ever compared his voice to a little girl.

Itachi, composure lost, was standing in the middle of the floor, eyes wide and freaked out, warily looking at the numerous girls surrounding him, staring back at him with eyes just as wide (even if they seemed much more happy than the shinobi).

It was quiet, as all fighting ceased to stare at all the girls staring at the men with hungry eyes.

And then…

They CHARGED!

**…**

[AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAnd we'll take a brief break to answer questions and give comments!]

"You can't just _expletive_ing remove us from battle!"

[_Expletive_.]

"OW! Forgot how much that hurts!"

[Good. Anyways, are you telling me that you _want_ to be dropped back there with the fangirls?]

"NO!"

[Oh, good, everyone agrees.]

"I really wish that I could be as surprised at this, but somehow I am not."

"That makes one of us, Tenten."

"What are you Konoha shinobi even here in the first place?"

[I invited them]

"Why?"

[No reason, Kisame. Anyways, let's get started. Anyone who doesn't know what this is about, just watch and learn, and if you're not asked anything, then be happy or sad, whatever you chose.]

*insert grumbles here*

[Great, let's get started: _phoenixyfriend_ – "Sasori actually took time in the middle of a battle to answer such odd questions? Interesting. And poor Hidan will have been hit by several rather large boulders by now. What a pity. It only just occured to me that, considering the kinds of questions I had you ask him, Sasori may interpret your actions as a come-on."]

Deidara visibly paled at that, and Sasori glared at him. Everyone just watched, unsure of much of anything.

["And now, for the final question! *drumroll, please!* Are you a cat person or a dog person? How anticlimactic."]

"Bird person, un."

[Not an option.]

"I don't care."

[Dog or cat.]

"I gave you my answer."

[It was wrong.]

"That isn't a question that can have a right or wrong answer!"

[It is when I ask it. Now answer the question.]

"Birds! Do I make clay dogs or cats? No, I make clay birds, sometimes insects, but mostly birds! Now move on to the next question!"

[Fine… oops, gotta make everyone leave but Dei. *everyone vanishes, except Deidara* ParanoidDiva: Dei- I FREAKING LOVE U DEI MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHA! But I love Sasori more than u. So tell Sasori that! :D N I demand that u pull a prank on Hidan! Make a clay copy of his scythe(but with colour, mayb food dye?), replace it with his original, and when he's doing a ritual... BOOM!"]

Deidara smirked. It wasn't a very nice smirk, it was much more of a "I just killed your puppy dog and I'll do the same to your kitty" sort of smirk.

"Will you stop it with the puppies and the kitties already, un!"

[It's not my fault you refused to pick.]

"Whatever, I'll do it right now!"

[Great, and we'll move on with the questions while you conveniently take only a second to do this.]

"I'm back, un."

[Awesome. *everyone else reappears* Moving on._ Twinkie216_ – "To Deidara: I would love to see the look on your face when you realized that Cin likes you! Or does she? Would you like her to like you like that? Don't you want her to hug you all the time? I know i want you to hug me all of the time. Hehe, i want to see the look on you face right now."]

Everyone turned to stare at Deidara (except Cin, who is the only person not here since she's frozen back in the middle of the fight like the bad guys). Deidara's face started to resemble a cherry tomato.

"Shut up!" he yelled, looking furiously down at his feet.

"We didn't say anything," Kisame smirked.

[_Simplicity-Shitsuboku_ – " Oh and Dei? If you had to be an animal of some sort, what would you choose? Mythical creatures are included."]

"Phoenix."

He spent no time deliberating, none at all, and Sasori was definitely unsurprised by his partner's choice.

"They're birds and they go boom when their life is done, what a surprise," Sasori rolled his eyes.

"Hey, phoenixes are awesome, un!"

[Okay, moving on. _DokuHimeKami_ – "Dei: I forgot to explain about the gifts so here goes. Poison clay will not poison your hand mouths. Teleporting gum is very complex...the person who owns the gum pack can teleport anywhere they think after blowing the bubble and popping it. Also if you give a piece of the gum 2 some1 else the owner of gun pack can decide where you teleport to. WARNING!: DO NOT I REPEAT DO NOT SWALLOW THE GUM! FYI: shipping means pairing of two people. And here's a new puppet for Sasori :3"]

"Sweet!"

"Why does Deidara get all the gifts?" Kisame growled.

"Because I'm a cruel author and the readers are all giving it to him. Besides, Sasori got something too."

Kisame pouted. It was quite amusing actually. Have you ever seen a shark-man pout? It's quite interesting to watch.

[_SakuraDreamerz_ – "Deidara: I heard you got fourth wall tickets for the other members! Who do you think will be the most shocked about the fourth wall breaking?"]

Deidara looked around furtively, smirking at the expressions on their faces.

"Kakuzu. He's always been the most grounded."

Everyone's eyes turned to notice that Kakuzu was looking around nervously, completely unsure of the new and unfamiliar world he was flung into.

[_Mybfflisazombie_ – "Message to Dei-chan: tell me have you never seen Cin with someone else like say a certain red-headed, apathetic puppet or a girly-looking but not girly enough to be a women weasel and gotten jealous? like ever? If you feel like you want to hit them both and talk to Cin alone then that my friend is a thing called jealousy."]

Deidara didn't want to think about it, so we forcibly push it into his head. His face turned red again, but this time it was more with fury than with embarrassment.

[Perfect. Time to go back then!]

**… … …**

It was quiet for a few moments, once they got back, that is. It was as though everyone was frozen…

5…4…3…2…1…

The screaming began, as intense as though it had never stopped.

And then, Itachi pulled out…_It_.

It's difficult to describe _It_. It wasn't exactly a common-looking weapon, not really something anyone there had ever seen before. The only person there who seemed to know what it was was Itachi, and boy did he look happy to have it.

"Say hello to my little friend," he said, internally cursing the fact that he was forced to say that horribly cliché line.

And then, he used _It_.

A hundred of the fangirls surrounding him promptly collapsed, their knees giving way as they clutched their heads, keening awfully.

"What's that?" Kisame asked, his eyes wide.

Itachi smirked and spun _It_ around in his hands.

"Weapon of Mass Fangirl Destruction. Level: Orochimaru."

No one quite understood what that meant it did, but hearing the level being "Orochimaru" was enough to make them understand that it was horrible, whatever it was.

The fangirls looked at him, eyes wide, except not with the usual feelings of excitement that fangirls usually had in their eyes upon seeing the object of their lust.

Itachi brandished the weapon, and they all ran, ran away to the corners of the room. From there, they used convenient plot holes to pull fresh popcorn and pompoms, ready to watch the battle and cheer for their favorites.

Deidara looked at Cin, "If you were going to drag the fangirls into this, you could've at least done it in a useful way."

"I didn't even know they were going to _come_!"

"We love you, Deidei!"

Deidara winced at that.

"See what I mean!"

"Yes," her voice was bitter, "I see."

Deidara looked at her, confused by her tone.

She didn't offer any explanation, just looked away as she yanked her hair, braiding it around her head like a crown. She flinched as she touched a sore spot on her head, and wished that she had her poisoned spikes and antidotes for herself in case she got sliced. It wasn't much, but it was something, something she could use to help herself.

"Let's get started," her eyes narrowed at their opponents, "I want to go home."


	37. Chapter 37: Fight

After a long period of absence, here's a riddle!

A man starts at his house to run three miles. He runs straight, and doesn't turn around once. But, he finished at his house anyway. How is this possible?

I would also like to take the time to thank everyone who's favorited/alerted/reviewed this story and keep me writing. So long as there are people like you out there, I don't think I could quit this story until it was finished. It might take me a while, but it will happen.

**… … … … …**

The lights come up on a white room with the Akatsuki all sitting down in white chairs in a circle, the seats slightly angled so that they could have a view of the ceiling without overly straining their necks.

[And…welcome back everyone! *dodges rotten fruit and vegetables* I'm sorry that it's been so long! Life's been really busy! So we'll get straight to the questions and I'll work on making this a really good chapter to make up for it all! To start with, I just need one of ya'll (I'm allowed to say "ya'll", I'm from the South), so I'll make everyone else disappear momentarily. Warning to those who haven't read the latest chapters of NARUTO, there be spoilers ahead!]

SPOILER!

All of them disappear except for Tobi (or should I say "Tobi"?) who looks around nervously.

[_Teiara Mogami_ – "Also, I have something to say to Tobi. Tobi: Y U NO BE MADARA?! Y U BE OBITO?! Okay, apologizing now. Dude, you're really awesome, but you've just broken a thousand fangirls hearts. Not necessarily mine." This is me saying this, but as someone who thought at the beginning that you might be Obito and was shot down by some of the people she mentioned this theory to, this amuses me greatly.]

Obito sighed as he removed his mask for a small moment, "Is that all everyone's going to think about for now?"

[Most likely, yes. Kishimoto must've had a lot of fun going "Hey, this is Tobi. No, actually his name is Madara, a guy who should've died a long time ago! Joking! It's actually another guy I told you all was dead, Kakashi's teammate Obito!" Excuse me for saying this, but I had my suspicions when they put all that detail into showing why Kakashi's the way he is and how he got the Sharingan. Why else unless Obito was going to be very important later?]

"I suppose it makes all those fanfics with me as Madara invalid."

[That doesn't change the fact that some of them are pretty awesome! Okay, moving on!]

Everyone reappeared, their memory blank of even leaving as Obito replaced his mask. In order to do my best to avoid spoiling for people who aren't up to date, I will continue to refer to Obito as Tobi unless told otherwise.

SPOILER END!

["To Sasori: Hi, Puppet-Master. Why is it Deidara's got a love interest and you don't?"]

"I suppose because the author didn't feel like adding too many OCs…how am I supposed to understand how her crazed brain works?"

[Hey, I wasn't even intending Deidara to have a love interest, it just sort of…happened.]

"What do you mean, love interest, un?!"

"Shut up, brat."

[Wow, I think Deidei might be the only one who doesn't know, Danna!]

"Don't call me Deidei!"

[Oh, so only Cin can call you that? Moving on! "To Deidara: DEIDARA! Just ignore the psycho fangirls. Granted, they won't go away, but it's easier to pretend they don't exist, yes?"]

Distraction set, distraction succeeds!

"They're kinda difficult to ignore, un."

[We all know, Dei. But you've gotta do your best. We don't want them tearing you apart, not when Cin might _(might)_ be catching on at last!]

"What are you even talking about, un?"

[You'll see…eventually. "Zetsu: How are you man? You've barely ever been spoken too! *pulls out daisy* I'm always here!" Sorry for all Zetsu lovers, I keep neglecting our favorite cannibal(?) plantman. Hey, random thought, maybe he oughta meet up with Poison Ivy of DC Comics. Does anyone think they might have some stuff in common?]

Zetsu's white side smiles while his black side does its best to maintain its scowl, but takes the daisy anyways and holds it gently.

[Aw! So cute! "Itachi: What's "It"?"]

"Hn."

[Translation: "Wouldn't you like to know." C'mon, 'Tachi, you can do better than that.]

"Hn."

[…well, that was rude. No way I'm translating that!]

"Hn."

[I'm gonna wash your mouth out with soap, Uchiha! Anyways, "IT" is a strange weapon that no one (except Itachi) really quite understands that functions with implanting images right into the victim's brain of varying grossness. I shall leave it to your imaginations what level "Orochimaru" is, unless you are a fangirl of Orochimaru, in which case I apologize for insulting yourfavorite character.]

The others all shuddered, from what reason, it is unknown, but many sociologists believe that it came from the mental image they imagined level "Orochimaru" had.

["Kisame, who barely ever gets spoken to: Yo. What's life been like for you with Cin, Mr. Hoshigaki?" I'm so sorry, Kisame, things got difficult, but I still can't imagine that I forgot my favorite shark-man!]

"Life's been pretty good," he responded, showing his sharp teeth, "It's great to be fighting again, but I must admit that the vacation at Cin's place was well welcomed, and that I kind of wish we could do it again," here his grin turned slightly more sinister, "Perhaps we could work on Cin's training so that situations like this don't happen again."

[She wasn't trained from birth like ya'll were, give her a break. Next person, I would like to thank her for the song suggestions she made ("Please Don't Leave Me" – Pink; "The Last Thing On Your Mind" – LIGHTS; "We are Young" – Fun; "Hurry Up and Save Me" – Tiffany Giardina; and "You Belong with Me" – Taylor Swift) for the CinDei pairing: _Mybfflisazombie_ – "I want to ask Kisame a question! Wait, can I? If If I can then here it is: ahem. Dearest Kisame... How exactly are you half-shark? Did your dad screw around with a shark or something?"]

Kisame's face turned slightly purple as the other members snickered. Obviously this had been brought up before, but they were always happy to have it brought up again.

"It's from some of the jutsus to become one of the Seven Swordsmen. They have some side-effects, but none of us really mind since it makes us more intimidating."

["Deidara: aw did you hear the jealousy in Cin's voice? Fangirls are so convenient ! Now you Better kiss after this whole thing is done !"]

Deidara blinked, "Cin's jealous…? Kiss…?"

[Looks like Deidei is thinking it over!]

"Am not, un!"

[Keep telling yourself that, blondie! _Simplicity-Shitsuboku_ – "A phoenix? They are one of my favorite creature too. Now I'll have to think about what to give everyone...First off is Deidara! You get an incredible present that is containing a Creeper. You can do whatever you want with it, but my only advice is to run for the hills when it starts to hiss."]

"Creeper, un?" Deidara looked a little uncertain as he was given the package, "Um, thanks, un?"

[See, Itachi. _Some_ people have manners! "Sasori my man is up next. My gift for you is PineSol, because you can shine your puppets with it and nothing will smell like chemicals!"]

Sasori graciously accepted his gift, "I suppose that this might make it easier to hide traces of poison. My thanks."

["Itachi, you need to have something to look forward to. I'll make an exception in your case and tell you that a dango-flavored cake is being made for you once this fighting is over."]

The Uchiha didn't speak…but it wasn't impossible to miss the small smile that passed over his face at hearing that.

["Kisame! You are forbidden to look sad because it's heartbreaking. Here is a plate full of shrimp and crab, just remember not to eat too fast."]

Everyone's favorite shark-man grinned at that as he accepted his package. To everyone's amusement, his stomach growled loudly as he took a peek in.

"What?" he asked, grabbing a piece of shrimp, "Fighting is hungry work."

["Hidan you sexy beas- *gets slapped across face by a random brunette chibi* Oww.. That was my fault for almost using the forbidden word. Anyways, Hidan! For being sexy I will tell you a secret. I finally convinced Jashin to let me do something ridiculous. For one whole chapter everyone you cut will have a different color of blood. Go forth and cut people to create a raindow! Taste the rainbow!"]

"You talked to Jashin-sama?" Hidan seemed astounded.

[Apparently so.]

Hidan promptly went to the corner of the room and magically pulled a small furry animal out of his cloak and started making a good-will sacrifice to Jashin in favor for _Simplicity_.

["Kakuzu- I would suggest looking at one of my favorite shows sometime soon. It's called Mad Money and you can watch it on CNBC at five PM."]

The shuddering Kakuzu was magically placed in a corner with a large TV playing the show. After a few moments of watching, he was starting to look more like himself. Another few minutes, and he was starting to take notes…and I think it's best if we leave him there for now.

["Zetsu. I would like to tell you something important, but that is for a later time. Right now you can have this guy for a snack. *kicks over an unrecognizable guy* He's been stalking me for a while and I finally had enough. I mean seriously, if I turned him down three times you'd think he'd get that I'm not into him!"]

Zetsu (both sides) grinned as they accepted the corpse, "His loss **is our gain**. Our thanks."

["Tobi, I'm only saying that I've seen under your mask and I flipped out. Here are some pixie stixs. Knock yourself out."]

"Yippee! Tobi loves pixie stix!"

[Just so you know, I blame you if Tobi gets a huge sugar rush and destroys everything. "As for you good guys, I'm too lazy to think of anything. Hmm... You all get free meals at a Chinese buffet. Deal with it."]

"Um…thanks?" Shino responded as he accepted the gift on behalf of the Konoha team.

[Oops, sorry that I forgot about Shino!]

Shino went into a corner and talked to his bugs in a depressed manner.

[_JLWaffleBrony_ – "Hmm... I wonder how everyone's favorite bad guys would react to modern-day weapons? Let's find out! Give Dei-Chan this shotgun, this instruction book on how to use and load it, and this infinite box of shells! Tell him I said to "Go Wild!""]

"SWEET!"

"Shut UP brat!"

"You're just jealous, un!"

"Of _that_?" Sasori scoffed, "I'm wasting my time with you."

[_DokuHimeKami_ (by the bye, thanks for the song suggestion of "Nobody" by the Wonder Girls) – "Itachi: You are so funny XD"]

The Uchiha raised an eyebrow, "Thanks?"

["Kisame: Awww! Poor Kisame! Here's a magic box! Whenever you open it whatever you want will be inside the box! (O.o)"]

Kisame grinned (he seems to be doing a lot of that lately) as he happily accepted the gift, "Thanks!"

["Cin: Here's a button. Push it to suck all your enemeies into a black hole :3" Sorry, but I currently can't let Cin accept this because it'll ruin everyone's fun, so we'll just put this someplace safe for now. _SakuraDreamerz_ – "Yahooo! Cin got out with the Akatsuki (at least she is) Deidara:*realizes something* oh noes! The bracelet expires today! *idea, then a clasp goes around Itachis and Deidaras wrists* there, now we can communicate with you two for ten more chapters!"]

"Hn."

[Yeah, for now, so long as the fourth wall is broken, you don't have to worry about the communications going down. _phoenixyfriend_ – "All of them, Malice? We now have the option to speak to ANY of them?...Excuse me for a moment...Silence...KYAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA! *smirk* What? Did you really think I was quite as mature, sophisticated, and most importantly, as WITHDRAWN as my speech patterns indicated? I've been holding back, darlings. I've been quite gentle with your egos. As for the evil laughter, I've heard that it is actually quite good for the stress."]

The Akatsuki and the Konoha shinobi might have shivered a little there.

["A phoenix, Deidara? Dear, I feel honored... perhaps I shall send along a pill that allows you to turn into one of my magnificent birds at your will for a full hour? Yes... Malice-san, be a dear and give it to him, please. Try not to die, though, sweetie. The regeneration may not finish before you return to being fully human. I also would not suggest using it during a crucial part of the story unless you get permission from Malice-san."]

"Awesome, un!"

"Are you incapable of saying anything else, brat?"

"Shut up, danna!"

[Be careful, Dei. Don't use it recklessly.]

["TenTen, dear, you are wonderful. Here's a nice sword. It's name is Zangetsu. See if you can get him to go Bankai. *Smirk* It may be a little more difficult than you expect."]

Tenten might not have recognized the name of the sword, or what it meant for it to go "Bankai", but she still accepted the weapon graciously.

"My thanks. It is a beautiful weapon." She gently touched the edge of the blade, running her finger down in a practiced motion, assuring herself that the cutting edge was quite honed and sharp before sheathing it carefully.

["Hidan, remind Jashin that I expect him to be at the fight, watching with a camera, popcorn, and mocking insults aplenty. Oh, and here's a nice, serrated knife. It may be helpful with your techniques."]

Hidan accepted the knife, but looked questioningly at the ceiling.

"You mean you haven't seen him yet? He's been here for a while."

[Are you sure?]

"I know when Jashin-sama is near, and I can tell you, he is right here right now."

[Well then, that's good to know. "Kisame, I'm not really sure what you like or what to give you, so here's a coupon for an all-you-can eat buffet. Say hi to Samehada for me."

"I'm definitely enjoying all the food I'm getting. Samehada appreciates getting attention as well."

["Kakuzu, stocks on companies that make medical equipment is going to go up three weeks from now. Do with the information as you will."]  
>Kakuzu nodded sagely at the advice and scribbled it down in his notebook before returning his attention to "Mad Money".<p>

["Zetsu, there's currently three dead bodies behind, which I would liken to a certain businessman named Gato in everything but size. Enjoy."]

Zetsu grinned. It wasn't a very nice grin. But then again, these didn't seem to be very nice people.

["Sasori, here's a certain venom that one of my subordinates enjoys using. Even a single drop causes the target to feel as though they are on fire for three days straight, upon which point their heart stops beating. I hope you like it. I've also included a manual on rather futuristic robots. You may find it interesting..." If Sasori goes world-domination crazy, I blame you.]

Sasori definitely seemed to be thinking of how to murder the next one to anger him.

["Itachi... here's an airhorn. It may or may not help with the fangirls, but at least I can say that I've tried. Am I different than how you imagined me the last time we 'spoke?'"]

"Ah, thank you," Itachi responded, "You are certainly more…exuberant the last time we "spoke". But you seem to have calmed down by now, so that is good."

["I'm afraid I can't really think of anything for Pein and Konan, other than that I can bring back the dead, but MA won't let me do that for Yahiko, most likely. Of course, she could probably do it too, and yet..."]

Pein and Konan exchanged a glance.

"Why _hasn't_ she brought Yahiko back?" Pein asked his childhood friend.

"That is a good question."

They both turned to look at the "ceiling".

[…*groans*…fine. *snaps fingers and Yahiko appears between the other two members of the Ame trio, ignoring how everyone was confused by the sudden appearance of a second Pein.

["Ah, and tell Orochimaru that the Sword is not the end, but it will lead him to the barrel. He may not know what it means, but I've done my part."]

Orochimaru was popped into the space just for this question, but was unable to move as he heard the message. He couldn't even ask what they meant.

**… … …**

It was times like this where Cin _really_ wished that she had possessed a shinobi upbringing. Granted, it would mean that she would've probably been on the opposite side of the Akatsuki, as well as been forced to train every single day of her life, but at least she wouldn't have felt like a total liability in this free-for-all battle.

All she could say was that it was a good thing that a good portion of the Akatsuki seemed to be good at ranged battle. Hey, even the Konoha shinobi usually stuck to ranged battle (with the exception of the Hyuugas and Naruto, but they were still pretty awesome at what they did).

There always seemed to be someone there to pull her out of harm's way, and while she was grateful to still be alive, she resented the fact that she was so useless.

And throughout it all the fangirls cheered for their favorites, or argued amongst each other of which person was the hottest, giving Cin the feeling of her headache returning rapidly on top of the one forming from the wounds the shinobi were receiving.

It was worse than before.

Much worse.

Unbeknownst to those fighting over her (as annoying and upsetting as that was), she found herself falling against one of the cave walls, desperately trying to use it in order to keep her footing. Biting her lip, she did her best to breathe softly so as not to draw anyone's attention. Her eyes momentarily went to her rescuers before she forced herself to look away.

It was difficult to look at the crimson on their skin and not do anything to help them, especially with the power inside of her hissing at her to fix it, to fulfill her "destiny" or something. If she released the power, she wouldn't be able to control it, and it would also help Orochimaru's soldiers.

She had a feeling that everyone on her side would rather keep getting hurt than allow Orochimaru's men to heal like that.

**_You're being selfish. There are people in there who are DYING. YOU could save them._**

_At the cost of my own life…wait, why am I talking to myself?_

If it wasn't for the fact that everyone was in the battle and she didn't want to distract them, she might've screamed at that. There's also the fact that screaming would do nothing for her fiercely pounding head.

Why did her ability have to have evolved a separate consciousness? Maybe Itachi was right. Maybe she WAS being jerked around by a cruel author.

Wasn't that the only way to explain the voice inside her head? That only happened in books, after all.

Either that…or she was going insane.

Wow, the cruel author story was sounding better all the time.

**… … …**

Deidara wished that it had taken longer before he found himself back to back with one of the Konoha shinobi. On the bright side, it was that girl…the one with the buns, probably the only one he could actually stand. Neji was too stiff, Hinata was too shy, Naruto was too bright, too happy, too loud, and too much of a Jinchuriki.

Not to mention, Tenten was quite lethal herself. He was lucky she was currently on his side (also that her aim was so precise – there had been a few close calls at times, he had still been trying to figure out if it was intentional or not).

"Like, OMJ, what do you think about DeiTen?"

"That could totally work! Look how awesome they appear together!"

Deidara felt his explosion high start to fade a little at that as both he and Tenten scowled, pausing in their battle. Suddenly, Tenten pulled out a huge club and slammed it into him, sending him flying.

"Yes! Definitely DeiTen!"

*sweatdrop*

"Is there no way to stop them?" she asked Deidara who was getting to his feet a little ways away where he had landed.

"Not once they get an idea in their heads," he smirked, "Good attempt though. If you hadn't tried it, I probably would've."

**"QUIT IT WITH THE TALKING AND GET BACK TO FIGHTING!**"

The two shinobi were promptly showered with popcorn. They looked up to see a tall man, very tall and very muscular. With the look of malice combined with bloodlust and happiness, it was easy to guess who this might be. Deidara and Tenten promptly exchanged a glance of worry.

_Jashin_.

There was no one else he could be. They were briefly blinded by a camera flash. When the spots cleared from their eyes, they could see the pendant that sealed the deal.

**"IF YOUR BRAIN WAS CHOCOLATE IT WOULDN'T FILL AN M&M!"**

Despite the thunderous roar of his voice, it was quite obvious that Jashin-sama was having fun.

It was even more obvious when Hidan landed a cut and blood spewed out in a bright blue arc.

**"YEAH!**"

His image was slightly ruined by the victory dance he did. The fangirls near him slowly backed away.

One stole a piece of his popcorn…she was quickly taken care of.

**… … …**

Cin let out a muffled gasp of pain as she _felt_ someone's life vanish. She could feel her chakra reach out for the fallen life before she forcibly yanked it back.

No, she couldn't. She wouldn't.

If she started, she wouldn't be able to stop.

He teeth chewed on the inside of her cheek. She knew she should stop, but every time she tried, she'd find herself chewing on it once again.

She could feel a little of her chakra leaking out to heal her skin, but only the sparks that were so tiny that they wouldn't be able to do anything more than this.

If she even tried to do more, she would die. And everything would be for nothing.


	38. Chapter 38: The Downside

A man starts at his house to run three miles. He runs straight, and doesn't turn around once. But, he finished at his house anyway. How is this possible?

I apologize for my poor writing abilities in writing fight scenes.

**… … … … …**

Hinata slammed her gentlefist right into her opponent's nervous system, effectively blocking his chakra and knocking him over. Another assailant snuck up on her from behind, grabbing her around the waist and yanking her up.

He was quickly disabled by Neji, who caught his cousin in the same breath, placing her down quickly, ignoring the squeal of "Hyuugacest" from the crowd. She promptly ducked under his arm, catching another henchman in the chest.

All of the fans sighed with happiness about how beautifully they worked together.

Meanwhile, no one could even get close to Shino or Naruto. Shino had his bugs warding off henchmen, and Naruto did the same with his clones.

And every single bug that went down, every single clone that was exploded into nothingness, was replaced with more, like the heads of a hydra.

Pein, Yahiko, and Konan were working in tandem, even though the Leader had yet to pull out his other paths. Apparently he did not want to dignify Orochimaru by bringing them out. Anyone who dared to get too close to Konan was immediately taken down with a wanton amount of destruction.

If Cin would've let herself, she could've screamed at that as the lives were snuffed out.

Sasori wasn't being much better, slaughtering anyone who dared cross his path in an incredibly sadistic manner. Kisame was laughing as he leached chakra and shredded skin in the same moment. Itachi was given a wide berth as he tortured many in his Mangekyou. Zetsu was popping up randomly from the floor like a land shark, pulling them under as he clamped his Venus Fly Trap-like apparatus around their legs. Tobi…well, who knew what he was doing. But whatever it was, it was extremely effective.

And, of course, somehow Deidara and Tenten were still working together, using their ranged weapons in tandem and guarding the others' backs, despite the constant calls of DeiTen.

All of this, was hurting the person they were fighting to protect.

Something they would know if her pride wasn't keeping her from letting out a noise. The salty, iron taste of blood swelled through her mouth, and as much as she wanted to use her ability to fix it, she knew that opening the gateway on her dam by just a tad would be the equivalent of letting it all go.

She curled her knees in tighter to her body, digging the nails into her legs as an attempt to keep herself conscious. If she blacked out, it will be all over. Her head was pounding, black spots dancing across her vision. She further pulled herself under a ledge, willing no one to notice.

No one must know.

No one!

It was bad enough that they were risking their lives for her, without worrying about her driving herself insane.

**_OH WHAT A EXPLETIVING PANSY. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO TO STOP THIS, TO MAKE ALL OF THE PAIN GO AWAY. YOU KNOW WHAT THE ONLY ANSWER IS._**

It's not the only one. There's always another answer.

She didn't want to die.

She didn't want to die.

She wanted to save others.

She didn't want to die.

**_IT'S YOUR JOB. YOU KNOW THIS._**

Is this what happened to all of the others with this power? She had seen the scrolls Tsunade had sent of her family history. None of the members of her family with her power ever lived past twenty.

Cin was nineteen. Time was running out.

Was it the voice that did it? The extreme feeling of guilt?

The pain?

She couldn't even tell.

**…**

We'll just take a little break to scoop up all the Akatsuki for their little meeting again.

[_phoenixyfriend_ – "To the Akatsuki & company: Oh, did I frighten you? My apologies. I tend to get rather carried away at times. I'm glad you all enjoyed my gifts. I tried for everyone I could remember as being present, except Tobi. Tobi, I must apologize. Of my eleven minions, about half of them want to bodily murder you right now. I'm afraid that if I sent anything along, they would attempt to come along with it and, say, rip out your spine and force you to eat it, in the most extreme cases. ...Not a pretty ending, especially considering all of them can also torture you past the grave. They'd get bored. Eventually...Point is, I'm not sending any packages, as they could be potentially fatal. Sorry."]

Everyone turned to look at Tobi, sitting innocently on his chair. It was hard enough to equate him with the chaos he had brought in the fight. Now someone was _this_ angry with him? Deidara wanted to kill him on a daily basis, but this was different.

Anyways, moving on.

[_Mybfflisazombie_ – "Anyways a message to the Akatsuki: Yeah guys do you remember how you were trying to save Cin? Now do you remember what her special powers are? Yeah killing people is pretty much killing Cin so... Good luck with that."]

All of the Akatsuki gave each other uneasy looks.

"She would've said something if she was in trouble, right, un?"

"Cin's not that stupid," Kisame responded, but didn't seem too sure.

["Anyways, since everybody was too busy with the battle to notice me just popping in to the story , I made a little visit and made a bet with the fangirls who was going to win. Of course if I do win (which I totally will) then I'll give Kakuzu half of the money. If you dare to rip me off I'll have Malice-chan lock you in a room with only fangirls and a window were you can watch all your money burn *insert innocent smile here* . Also if you here some badass rock and roll music playing in the background that would be my doing. But well what can I say? Every battle needs some background music."]

Kakuzu nodded seriously. He liked the plan, though even now he was plotting different ways to swindle more than his share of money out.

["Dei-Dei : I swear if you don't whisk Cin away to safety soon you'll have a shit load of CinDei shippers after you. BTW I think I saw one of the Konoha ninja's checking out Cin (and of course I'm not making this up) . Here's a tip: tap her before someone else does ( to put it bluntly)."]

Deidara scoffed at it all, "We're just friends…" and then the rest sank in, "Checking her out? Which one? And what do you mean, "tap her"?"

[I'm sure that you can figure that out. "Ita-chan: here's a pair of earmuffs to help you against the deadly fangirl screams. I wish you the best of luck. "]

Itachi nodded, smiling softly as he accepted the gift.

["Sasori: I have a new poison for you. This poison stops someone's heart for 2 hours before restarting it again. Do with that whatever you want. Also, do you want to watch Pinnochio with me one day? I promise to not squeal or fangirl if you say yes so... How about it? "]

Sasori received the gift, but raised a painted eyebrow, "Pinnochio? What is that?"

[Just say yes.]

"I am not about to say yes to something that I have no clue about what it is."

[Say yes.]

"Sure I will watch with you."

Sasori's eyes narrowed.

"I hate you, Malice."

[I love you too, Sasori. "Kisame: aw damn here I was hoping for some weird but adorable love story about how your dad met your mom and declared his love for even though she was a shark. Here's a Nemo plushie instead, knock yourself out."]

Kisame looked skeptically at the toy, reluctantly taking it. But once it was in his hands, a huge smile crossed his face as he cuddled the plushie, purple embarrassment tingeing his cheeks.

["Tobi gets nothing because he's a bad boy."]

I think that Tobi pouted, but no one can be sure because of that mask.

["The others seem to be having fun killing and what not so I leave you to doing that. Just remember to be nice to Malice-chan seeing as she can have it so that you die, yes even if you are immortal. Or worst have you end up with a fangirl! And on that disturbing note I bid you goodbye."]

They all sat quietly, waiting to be returned to the field of battle.

**…**

She could feel the blood pulsing through the veins of the fighters, and could sense the exact moment when it burst through the skin.

She could feel bones crush, splintering through muscles.

She could hear yells of pain, and the rattling death scream.

She could hear maiming and death all around her.

And it was all her fault.

None of them would be here right now if it wasn't for her.

Some of them were evil though…

But who was she to judge?

Cin yelped as a long strand of her chakra snaked past her grasp, heading straight for a henchman, so strong that it was easily visible to human eyes. Mentally, she clamped down on it hard, flinching as it burned in her mind.

But whenever she attempted to pull it back, more attempted escape, sneaking their little tendrils past her defenses, only to join together on the outside in order to exert more strength on her already strained psyche.

It felt as though, any moment now, her head would shatter into a million pieces, all over the floor.

She almost wished for it to happen, just for a shred of peace.

**…**

Jun ran through the crowd, dodging fighters to fulfill his mission, namely to find and recapture the prisoner.

Why he had to do this in the midst of a fight, he had no clue, but he certainly wasn't about to ask Lord Orochimaru.

He was the second person ordered to perform this task, after all.

His chakra was slightly blocked, and he was slightly wounded, but that didn't matter when catching a civilian who, despite having massive stores of chakra, couldn't use it so much as to create a soft breeze.

It wasn't as though her hiding spot was even that difficult to find. She was just sitting there in a corner, hugging her knees.

A smile crossed his face as he ventured closer.

He should have run while he had the chance.

Unknown to him, he had multiple lacerations on his skin, large bruises that would certainly have been painful the next day, a few cracks in his bones, and a minor concussion setting on.

To a civilian, this might have been a cause to worry. To a shinobi, this was routine training. The medics always griped about the ninja's carefree attitude about these slight injuries, but he never paid them any mind.

Now might have been a good time for that.

As he strolled smoothly towards the prisoner, his toe briefly kicked a small rock, sending it skidding across the floor with an oddly loud noise.

It was enough to make the girl look up, and for Jun to feel instantly sick.

Her eyes were rapidly changing color, and not in that beautifully gorgeous way that leaves you transfixed where you stand. It stuns you, but only with how disorienting it is, as well as disturbing to watch how sweet light brown become a dark blood red and then go black, and then go back to normal only to start it all over again.

Her pupils had shrunk to pinpricks, and she was staring…right at him.

His hands felt odd, and he looked down at them, only to widen his own eyes at the masses growing beneath his skin, stretching it to the point of agony.

He screamed.

**…**

Things had been going well, her chakra was starting to settle again.

And then someone HAD to stumble across her, freshly wounded, his injuries crying out for healing. In a brief moment of distraction, a large chunk of her chakra was gone, beyond her reach, fixing up the miniscule gashes.

The problem was, there was much more chakra than was needed for the healing, and without anyone there to siphon it off, or any other wounds, it kicked into overdrive, fixing things that didn't need to be fixed, mostly fixating at the sites where the wounds used to be.

This was causing the healing cells to mass up in a continuous increase without any sign of stopping.

This was probably the most horrible scream she had ever heard, as she watched the cancer engulf his throat, bulging out like a frog. She flinched back as a few blood vessels, stopped up by the cancer eventually exploded, spewing blood everywhere. The same happened with his skull.

She pulled herself further back into her corner, not even trying to fight the tears that were now coming even stronger. She touched her face, and flinched away realizing exactly how much blood was on there.

She wanted to go home.

She wasn't cut out for all of this. She was much better suited to be a hermit.

That way no one can get hurt.

**… … … … …**

Okay, just to make this clear, it was the focusing on a person that did the trick. It distracted her just enough to release a chunk of chakra.

What I exhibited here was exactly why it is so extremely important to have exact control over healing. Cin naturally has good focus, so this is the first time she's seen this result.

Yes, I did give the guy cancer, which is the cell reproduction at an uncontrollable rate. I'm mostly trying to show how much of a double edged sword this ability is. I don't know about all of you, but I'm not seeing many benefits for Cin right now.


	39. Chapter 39: Alive!

A man starts at his house to run three miles. He runs straight, and doesn't turn around once. But, he finished at his house anyway. How is this possible?

I apologize for my poor writing abilities in writing fight scenes.

**… … … … …**

"I'm bored," Deidara yawned tossing a piece of clay into the air, letting the bird fly around the room.

"How long have we been here for, anyways?" Sasori asked.

"Hn."

Kisame winced, "A whole month? What has this stupid author been doing in all of this time?"

[I'll have you know that I got busy with exams.]

They all jumped at the unexpected voice.

"She's alive!" Hidan yelled out.

[How rude, of course I'm alive.]

"Hn."

[What's that supposed to mean, 'Could've fooled me'?]

"Exactly what it looks like."

"Ugh, whatever. Let's get this show on the road! _Mybfflisazombie_ – "Sasori ; you don't know what Pinnochio is? Well it's good thing we're watching it then isn't it? *insert evil smirk here*. Don't worry, depending on your views of humans vs puppets, I bet you'd just looooove it! (of course that's not sarcasm psh)."]

The puppet puppetmaster seemed a little unnerved at that, but decided to brush it off as leftover from the battle. How wrong he was.

[_phoenixyfriend_ – "Darlings, I'm sure that if you asked politely, Tobi may take a chance and trust you. Not likely, but nonetheless worth a shot, so to speak. If not, my hint is simply this: Kamui.]

They turned to look at Tobi, and Deidara spoke, "Does Kamui mean anything to you, Tobi?"

"Not in the least!" but what Tobi was really thinking was, _"How in the world does these people know?"_

["Also, where has Jashin been this whole time? Honestly man, you're a god, act like it! At least interfere a little more often, you insufferable nitwit. I may just send Diamond over to annoy you. She may try to kill Tobi as well, but she's liable tBLEEP IT SHIN-CHAN! CAN'T YOU DO ONE BLEEP THING WITHOUT BEING A MORON?! I THOUGHT I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE RECKLESS IDIOT, YOU BLEEPING BLEEP. GET YOUR BLEEP IN GEAR BEFORE I COME OVER AND KICKSTART IT MYSELF! AND I'M NOT A MIDGET!o kill just about anyone, really, just for kicks. Crazy ginger midget."]

Jashin momentarily appeared in the room, and grinned sheepishly before vanishes back to where he had set up a great spot to watch the battle. He pulled out his blueprints of the room and tried to figure out a way to interfere a bit more.

["Also, I'm glad to see Yahiko there. The fact that you and Nagato are so protective of Konan is rather sweet, though I'm sure she can take care of herself quite well."]

"You two are protecting me?" Konan raised an eyebrow at her two friends, who looked at each other before giving her a sheepish grin.

_THWACK!_

"I can take care of myself!" she yelled before lowering her voice and smiling at them, "But I do appreciate it. Thank you."

["Kisame's embarrassment about the plushie is quite cute. Then again, I am of the opinion that you would all seem rather cute if given a plushie…I'm giving you all plushies. Malice chooses. Snuggle them. I order it."]

Plushies appeared in all of the Akatsuki's hands. Kisame still had his Nemo plushie, but Zetsu had one of those stuffed flowers with the wire in the steam twined around his neck. Kakuzu had a stuffed pig reminiscent of the piggy bank from Toy Story. Tobi had a stuffed puppy, and Deidara had a stuffed phoenix. Sasori had a stuffed scorpion that was strangely cute for such an animal, Hidan had a Hello Kitty stuffed animal. Pein, Yahiko, and Konan had matching kitten plushies, and Itachi had a stuffed Sasuke plushie, just for kicks and giggles.

The members were promptly blinded by flashes from cameras of fangirls that had snuck into the chat room who then vanished before the Akatsuki could even move.

["Also, you may be interested in the fact that Cin can give people cancer just as easily as healing them. Malice-chan showed us. It was quite gruesome, really. All those wounds healed, and then suddenly the cells just keep multiplying, swelling the hands, the neck, every visible cut and sore gone, and in its place a macabre globe of flesh coming out of the skin like a disgusting wart gone to seed and just growing, growing, growing... it was really very interesting. "*Glances up* Oh my. Who let Agent Diamond into the control room while I was getting my drink? I suppose I can leave it there. It'll give you all a laugh, I suppose. Ja ne, Phoenix""]

The Akatsuki all exchanged skeptical looks, not believing it in the slightest. Cin giving people cancer? Ridiculous!

[_DalekSuperFan_ – "um...hi!.. so yeah i usually don't review talking to you guys but... tobi needs love! i will not just sit here and watch as everyone gets things and not tobi just because of... that... so tobi i give you a giant cookie! and this secret box! now don't open the box just yet! you must wait for the right moment and then it will give you all you ever wanted! :)"]

Tobi grabbed the cookie before anyone could stop him, and chowed down, all without removing his mask.

Within a few moments, he was bouncing around the room as though he was a rubber ball.

They all sighed.

This was going to be a pain.

**… (possible graphic scene coming up violence-wise, not sure how other people think it will be) …**

Why didn't they stop coming?

Cin had tried to keep alert enough to warn those who kept coming to find her, but they never heeded her warning, and kept stepping into her range.

Mutilated corpses littered the ground around her, and she was coated in blood.

One of them was right in front of her, looking up at her…or he would be if the eyes had not burst in her deluge of power, exploded into a gelatinous mess. She had felt the lens of the eyeball smack her cheek, but couldn't summon the energy to remove it.

Looking around as best as she could without turning her head, the carnage made her flinch back.

Another had his tongue blown up to an enormous size, lolling out of his mouth like a gigantic slug, oozing lesions covering it.

Another's brain had cracked through his skull, but it was an odd…dark red color. Cin was still working on her knowledge of medicine, but was fairly certain that there was no circumstance under which this was a natural condition.

Finger nails were cracked all the way up to the quick, bones were bent at odd and unusual angles, some sticking up through the skin, and some only causing bumps under the skin.

One guy had part of his face melted off, muscles showing through in a gross dark blue color.

An androgynous figure had, in a grim parody of a cartoon, the heart burst from its chest. The glutinous mass was unrecognizable as anything slightly resembling a heart, and still seemed to be moving from where it sat on the floor.

But maybe it was just the angle.

She could see someone's windpipe sticking out of their throat.

She could see many things that she wished she could unsee.

Blood was still squirting out of the aorta of one of her unintentional victims.

And there were so much worse, but she couldn't bring herself to look.

Tears rolled down her cheeks, but she could barely feel them from the sheer amount of blood caked on her cheeks. Every single time someone had come near, they'd ignore her warnings, venture within the circle of her chakra, and explode blood all over her.

She wanted to die.

She just wanted to die.

But she couldn't.

If she died, then she would have no control over what the chakra would do.

It would attack people.

It would kill them.

It would kill the Akatsuki…

It would kill the Konoha shinobi…

It would kill Dei…

The sad part was…killing all of these people…it relieved the pressure inside her skull, it made her feel better.

She hated it. She hated that killing people brought her relief.

She should be dead.

Someone, just help her.

please

**…**

"WooHOO!" Deidara cheered as he high-fived Tenten, "And they are all dead!"

She smiled at him, replacing her knife into her thigh sheath, "Never thought I'd be saying this, but good teamwork, Dei."

He scowled at her, "Don't call me that." Something seemed to be missing in this conversation, but he couldn't put his finger on it. He looked around at the others, his eyes drinking in the carnage. He found the other members of his organization, as well as the Konoha shinobi, all unharmed (though for some reason Jashin had teamed up with Hinata part-way through, seeming to delight at throwing her at opponents, and sometimes walls, as well as sometimes mistaking Neji's long hair for Hinata's and throwing him instead)…

Yet someone was missing, someone was unaccounted for…

Who was it?

Who…?

He sat there in thought for a few moments, trying to remember what it was he was forgetting…he winced as his scratching of his head opened up a wound that hadn't quite healed yet and…

…

CIN!

"Oh no," he whispered, smacking his forehead, and earning himself an odd look from his combat partner, "Where's Cin?"

A worried look crossed her face as well.

"I…don't know," was her whispered response, and they just looked at each other in horror before leaping up and rallying their respective teams to search for the healer.

Hopefully Orochimaru hadn't spirited her away in the midst of the fight.

**…**

At first, Deidara thought that it was just a pile of dead bodies. Upon closer look, he saw someone (or someTHING) moving in the massacre.

First impression, upon seeing that long bone white hair, was that it was one of Orochimaru's supporters that had survived.

So, he moved closer in order to finish the job. He was confused why the figure was surrounded by Orochimaru's men, but waved it off as all of them getting in the way of one of the Akatsuki members.

"Stay BACK!"

The sudden sharp voice startled him to a halt.

He blinked, "Cin?"

The only way to recognize the figure was the voice, even as choked up as it was, and the clothes she was wearing. Her face was covered by her hands, and her hair…it was a bone white, not even close to what her hair should be, a warm brown.

His shinobi training told him it was a trick…his instincts said that it was her…and that it would be safer for him to do as she said.

"Cin, it's me…"

"I know who it is, Dei," her voice was broken, "Just, stay away. Please."

"Cin…" he moved to venture closer.

"NO!" her scream pierced the entire hideout as her face lifted from her hands.

Deidara took a step back as he saw her eyes. They were shifting in a sickening manner, from her usual amber to bright red, to dark red, to black, then lightening again to amber to repeat the cycle. They were dead inside, and as she looked at him, he could see her bite at her already bloody lip, watching her incisors pierce the skin.

Her scream attracted the other members of the rescue party, all of them coming up behind Deidara. A few tried to take a step closer, but she just screamed at them, and they stepped back again.

A tired Itachi Uchiha reactivated the Sharingan that he had temporarily deactivated after the fight to give his body a break. The already pale skin blanched as his eyes widened and he took in the chakra. Neji and Hinata did the same, also starting at the sight.

None of them had ever seen such malevolent chakra. It snapped like a chaotic wild animal within the circle that Cin forced it into. Her usual chakra was a light tranquil bluish-green, normal for healing chakra. This was a dark gruesome red of dried blood.

At least Jinchurriki had something of a control. This…there was no control because it was too strong to be harnessed. It was reaching out for the shinobi, and every single time it yanked towards them, Cin would flinch. It was vicious, even turning on its wielder at times in its attempts to get free.

"What do you see, Itachi?" a blue hand rested on the Uchiha's shoulder.

"Don't step within the circle of bodies," the younger responded, "Her chakra will destroy you, like it did to all of these fighters."

They heard Naruto choke a little behind them. Judging by the greenish tint of his face, he had taken a really close look at the destruction in front of him. It was enough to make a shinobi sick. It looked a gruesome way to die, more gruesome than the deaths many shinobi gave their opponents and victims.

This…this was torture.

And looking at the sobbing figure in the middle of it all, it was torture for her too.

Neji's eyes narrowed as he gripped his cousin's shoulder (once again ignoring the "kyaa!s" of the watching fangirls).

"She can't hold on for much longer," he spoke.

"What do you mean?" Tenten asked her teammate.

"She's on the verge of unconsciousness," Hinata explained, "Her will is all that's keeping her chakra from attempting to 'heal' us. The moment she blacks out, it will set upon and attack anything in its reach…and judging by the bodies around us, we will all die."

"We're not leaving her, un!"

They all turned to look at the blond.

"She's too far gone," Shino gestured at the ragged girl, "If you venture close to her, you will die. If you wait for her, she'll lose control and it won't matter that you are standing outside of this circle."

"There's got to be another way!"

"There's gotta be! Believe it!"

Those two idiots.

**…**

If she hadn't bitten through her tongue already, or if she could've mustered the energy to speak up, she would have angrily reminded them that she was here, and not to talk about her like an object.

She couldn't do anything about it, and it made her feel even worse.

There was no right answer. Staying alive weakened her control. Dying completely destroyed it.

And she couldn't find the energy to tell the others to leave before she completely lost her control.

Deidara and Naruto were arguing with some of the others. She smiled a little at that. Both of them were just so stubborn. Surely even they had to realize that there was nothing that could be done.

Not now.

She took a deep breath, and nearly flinched at the rattling sound she produced. The sound attracted the others' attention as well, and she could see them looking at her…no, can't focus on them. Must focus on her chakra. Or else everyone will die.

"What about Sasori?"

Her ears picked up a little at that. True, Sasori should be immune to her ability, but what about his human heart…? Unless they intended for him to reach something in to her using a puppet. But there was nothing that she could think of that would do the trick..

Their words were fading in and out now…

"Kisame, will Samehada be fine with a puppet carrying her?"

So tired, but can't sleep.

"But what do we do about giving her the chance to sleep? The smaller amount of chakra should be easier on her, but the little we leave will try to escape the moment she sleeps."

Their wounds…they were calling out to her in agony.

**_YOU CAN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. JUST LET GO. DOES IT NOT HURT TO DENY YOURSELF LIKE THIS?_**

The voice was right. Maybe she should just let go. If she let go, maybe she could direct the chakra so that it only healed, didn't overdo it…maybe…

"Heal all wounds, quickly. Hopefully the chakra will calm down without them. Sasori, check to make sure all of the enemy is dead."

Just let it all end.

_Please._

**… … … … …**

Happy Holidays!

Sorry for the extremely late update! Hope this makes up for it somehow!


	40. Chapter 40: Please

Once again, I apologize for possible gore, but am very happy that I've made it strong enough in the past chapters for it to get remarked on. I thought that it was going to be looked at the way people see fake blood in a cheesy B-level horror film, and am (surprisingly) happy that some people are getting grossed out. It says that I'm at least able to get the feeling I'm trying to express across.

I admit one thing, though, part of what made it so difficult was finding the best way to rescue Cin. I can't just snap my fingers and have her be all right, and while I had an idea before, when I first dropped her into this little situation, extra thought made me realize that it wasn't going to work.

A man starts at his house to run three miles. He runs straight, and doesn't turn around once. But, he finished at his house anyway. How is this possible?

He was on a treadmill.

**… … … … …**

[Hey, welcome back everyone, to the room!]

The Akatsuki all grumbled more or less in unison.

[_Twinkie216_ – "Message to Akatsuki: Yo ho ho. merry Christmas. (no comment, Hidan.) Meh. Also, it wasn't gruesome. I wanna see. I like gore. :)" Unfortunately for you guys, though, it's way after Christmas, so due to my flaws as an author, you're getting the message late. "Message to Konoha Shinobi: Your lack of solution really bothers me. You always come through. Ladies, think of something. I know you can do it. The panic of the situation shouldn't cloud your mind. Take some deep breaths, cuz you're all a mess. No to be rude, but still. Boys, you know what to do. It's not your place to do this stuff. You're the strong ones who are there to guide, not take control, just like in the bedroom. ;) Naruto, please get over the sight of blood. Yes, it's gross, but I'm sure it doesn't look too bad. It could possibly be worse...? (I have a comparison, but then that would bother a Uchiha or two on the other side...the dark side, cuz it offers cookies. Hehe, Tobi was that's result.)"]

The Konoha shinobi promptly stood up straighter, a determined set to their faces.

["Message to you all: YOU'RE ALL IDIOTS! YOU FORGOT THE ONE THING YOU CAME HERE FOR! IT'S YOUR FAULT AND YOU BETTER FIX IT! I AM SOOO DISAPPOINTED IN EVERY SINGLE ON OF YOU, IT ISN'T EVEN FUNNY! :( YOU BETTER HELP HER! SHE WANTS TO FREAKING DIE! And I'm pretty sure she's the calmest one here... -_-" The sad part is, it seems as though she's right. Cin's acting fairly calm for someone about to die.]

Everyone flinched back a little at that. They all know well not to mess with angry fans.

Then, everyone except for Itachi phased out.

["Message to Itachi only: Hey, stop using your eyes. You're going to hurt yourself. If you hurt yourself, that only makes things worse. If your eyes start bleeding, then people will notice. I'm not trying to put you on the spot, just trying to be helpful. If you don't want my help, fine. But think of Cin."]  
>Itachi phased out to be replaced with our favorite blond bomber.<br>["Message to Deidara only: Yo, blondie. Did you have fun making art? Seriously, if things are always fleeting, you might want to say goodbye to Cin, cuz she's flying fast to the place where dreams never stop. In others words, she's dying. So, just hang back and listen to your leaders. You shouldn't let your emotions or feeling toward her cloud your mind. Cin is still Cin. But your not yourself. If your going to be so protective, you can't let it be on and off. You have to pick a side. No grey lines."]

To his credit, at least Deidara looked uncomfortable at that, as he mumbled something we can't hear.

Once again, the character we are talking to fades out to be replaced by the next.

["Message to Hidan only: Yo, the-only-freaking-immortal here. Where's your head, dip stick? You wouldn't die of cancer, dumby. And you like pain. You probably are there only hope! Jump in there like the mindless prick you are! Save her! You might be the only one who can do it. So, don't think it through, just do it. :) Good luck."]

Hidan bit his lip at that, "I'll volunteer, okay! Just stop yelling at me!"

Everyone phased back in.

[_Simplicity-Shitsuboku_ – "Also, Itachi-san gets his promised dango flavored cake and this special grey bandanna. This bandanna is a one-use only kind of thing that will allow you to make your choice of people come with you to the awesome Fourth Wall Room. Yeah, since it doesn't have an official name I'm calling it that. Ciao Akatsuki!"]

Itachi, at least, seemed happy as he dug in.

And then the strange voices started up again.

[_Phoenixyfriend_ – "Just one major question: did you, at any point, consider using that month in the room to, oh, I don't know... PLAN FOR THE FIGHT? Honestly, so much time, and what exactly did you do with it? Play poker and let Kakuzu steal all your money like that?"]

They all looked guilty as Kakuzu patted his bulging money sack.

Anyways, back to the story!

**…**

The problem with using Samehaeda would be that her chakra would still be fighting to escape Cin, and if she lost that bit, then it would increase her likelihood of dying, since it would be a shorter time period before she ran out.

So what was Shino's idea? Kill all of the remaining minions and hope that it calmed her chakra down, especially if the rescuers healed their own wounds.

Then, when her chakra calmed down, they could plan the next step.

Sasori stood beside the first figure that he figured to be unconscious, pulled out Hiruko's tail, and slashed the man's throat.

Now, I'm sure you all have an inkling that this wasn't exactly a good thing to do, because why else would I be drawing it out like this.

A bloodcurdling scream rang out before being cut off by a death-rattling gurgle. Everyone spun to the source of the scream (Cin, of course).

The moment the scream rang out, Hinata (eyes wide) had grabbed Naruto and Deidara (from where they were helping her to monitor Cin's situation) and yanked them back, all three flying back nearly thirty feet. A half-second before Naruto's foot landed, she gave him another jerk, sending him back another ten feet.

Cin remained in the center of the circle, on hands and knees as she coughed up some weird substance that looked like a terrible combination of blood and phlegm. It created a disturbingly large puddle beneath her head, some staining her white hair.

Hinata activated the Byakugan again, "It's stable again. And it's retreating, but it's probably best if we keep this distance."

"And not do that again, yeah?" Deidara added on, looking worried.

"Well, what are we supposed to do then?" Naruto furrowed his brow, trying to think of a way around this. Suddenly, a grin brightened his face, "I got it! We heal everyone!"

Everyone gave him a skeptical look.

He pouted at that, "That's what her chakra's trying to do, right? If we accomplish that for it, shouldn't it calm down?"

"Do you have any idea how much chakra that would take?" Neji asked dryly, "Just because youre a freaking powerhouse, doesn't mean the rest of us are. Some of these guys are at the point of death as it is."

"Not to mention," Hinata added in, "Your chakra isn't exactly well adapted to healing, Naruto-kun."

"Hey, Kisame," Sasori spoke up, drawing the fish-man's attention, "Can that sword of yours' transfer chakra."

"If you don't mind getting a little shredded, I guess," the blue man responded, shrugging, "Why?"

Maybe if we bleed of some of Cin's, and then USE it to heal everyone in controlled quantities, we can at least get it to calm down in that manner."

"But, but!" Deidara waved his hands wildly, "Wouldn't that just spread her chakra outside so that it acts unpredictably again?"

"What, do you WANT your little girlfriend to die?" Tenten asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No!" he paused for a moment, the rest of the statement sinking in, "And she's not my girlfriend!"

[Denial, folks. Not just a river in Egypt!]

"The brat's got a point," Sasori regretfully admitted, "We'll need some method of containing the chakra so that it doesn't go wacko with our own systems."

"I'll do it"

Everyone was surprised to see how spoke up.

"What?" he seemed a little uncomfortable with all of the stares focused on him, "I'm immortal, I'll recover. Besides, all I have to do is control the flow, right? So long as I focus on letting it out slowly, it should all be fine, right?" If the damage is too great, then one of you can fix me up later."

It was all quiet.

"Wow…I don't think I've heard you say so much without swearing once," Kisame smirked.

"Shut the _expletiving_ up!" But Kisame was past the topic already, standing up and drawing his sword.

"It's the best idea we have, so let's just roll with it," the large man continued as he walked over to the immortal, "If it doesn't work out, then all we lose is Hidan."

"Hey!"

Kisame continued to ignore the Jashinist's protests as he gently handed over Samehaeda, "Treat her gently, or else she will shred your hands for fun. Once you get in there, rest her lightly on Cin's arm. She'll sink into it and draw out chakra, and then will dig into your hands to transfer it. She'll do that on her own, so just focus on not letting Cin's chakra overwhelm you. Visualize some sort of container to keep it in or something. Samehaeda will draw back when she thinks that she's pulled out as much as you can handle, and then you can go spread the healing power. Don't be too surprised if you have to make multiple trips."

"Also," Zetsu put in, reappearing, "**Don't come close to any of us until we say you can.** We aren't sure if that stuff will transfer from you to attack us.** I bet this is going to make you taste even worse than usual.**"

"Then maybe I should've done this earlier," the immortal retorted, "Jashin knows that I don't want to be tasty to you!"

Loud coughing came from the distance away, drawing everyone's attention. Cin was leaning back on her knees slightly, though still using her arms to brace herself. The white hair hung down over her face, but they could see a sickening-colored eye through it anyways.

"Hey," she said after the coughing subsided, "Don't I get a say?"

Her voice was rough and cracked, as though she hadn't said anything for a thousand years. Or as though she'd been fighting herself and hadn't had any water for the past hour.

Uneasy looks were traded before someone decided to speak up.

"No," Deidara responded sharply, looking her right in those nauseating eyes.

"Good," she responded, tossing back her head to move the hair away from the smirk on her face. Blood was staining her teeth as she parted her cracked lips to grin, but for a moment she looked like herself again.

"Let's do this," she finished before letting out another small cough. She reached out a hand to rub at her cheek, heedless of the dark red stain it left on her face, right over the scars from what seemed so long ago. It was as though the old wounds had opened up anew.

It was quiet before Deidara burst out laughing.

Everyone looked at him as though he was insane as he fell to his knees from the force of his laughter, practically busting a gut from it all..

"After all this time," he said, wiping a slight tear, "You still don't know how to handle hostile situations."

It wasn't as though it was funny, per say, at least not in the conventional sense, it was just something so unbelievably _Cin_-like that there was no other possible response but to laugh.

She managed a weak smile, "Did you really expect anything different? Besides, it's not as though I can lead you guys on a merry chase through boxes right now."

The laughter subsided as quickly as it started, and he rose to his feet with a new determination.

"You heard the girl, let's do this, un."

"C'mon, Dei," her laugh was small, choking, and barely recognizable as a laugh unless you knew what she had been through, "After all of this, don't I qualify as a lady at least?"

"Don't call me Dei," he made to make a move towards her, remembering at the last minute to stop, "Get through this, and then we'll talk."

"Promise."

"S-class shinobi don't promise stuff," he responded, acutely aware of the eyes staring at him. If he kept this up, the Konoha folk would probably think he'd gone soft.

We'll let him keep the delusion that they aren't thinking that already.

"They do if someone's on their death bed."

"You're not on your death bed."

"Then promise." The pout would almost be cute, in a lost waifish appearance, if it wasn't for the gore splattered on her face, matting her hair and eyelashes.

But he was a shinobi, and so able to ignore the dark red covering her face, and therefore able to admit (to himself, at least, if not out loud) that it was cute.

"I promise."

It was amazing that the words didn't choke him like he had thought. Guess there's a first time for everything.

Yes, they would have to have a nice talk after this was done. Too much needed to be said.

She'd make it through this. She had to.

The author wasn't so much of an _expletive_ that she'd kill her off.

Right?

[Normally I'd do the opposite of what you're pleading, just because you called me an _expletive_, but that wouldn't be very self-serving of myself. Besides, I'm afraid of fans too.]

"Just get her out of here," Dei hissed under his breath, "Or else I'll make it out of here and come after you, un. You can't make me care and then just kill her off like that."

"Dei…who are you talking to?" the one person who hadn't participated in those Fourth Wall Rooms asked, flinching at her instinctual move to get to her feet as it caused a stabbing pain in her gut.

From her reaction, a corpse flopped over and vibrated as though the dead _thing_ was having a seizure, pus flowing out of various orifices.

Cin flinched as though she was hearing something that the others couldn't, "Just…hurry. Please?"

Something in the way she said that word made haste seem even more of the essence.

He nodded at Hidan, who walked into the ring of fire.

Please, just let her make it through this.

**…**

**_YOU DO REALIZE THAT THEY'RE ONLY DOING THIS SO THAT YOU CAN HEAL OTHERS, RIGHT?_**

Cin flinched back from the burning words. On any other day, any other time, she would've been able to retort with saying that she knew that she was worth more than that to them.

But now, when she was so tired, it burned. It took a large amount of her energy to respond, "Just…hurry. Please?"

She closed her eyes, lowering her head to cover her face once more.

She had to make it through this.

Please?

She was too young. There was so much that she still wanted, no, NEEDED to accomplish.

If she died now, she wouldn't be able to help the people who needed helping.

**_WHAT, SO THE PEOPLE IN FRONT OF YOU DON'T DESERVE HELPING?_**

It was mocking now.

_Letting you loose on them_, she thought, _will kill them_.

**_WELL, ISN'T THAT YOUR OWN FAULT FOR LETTING THIS GO ON FOR SO LONG? IF YOU HAD LET ME FREE THE FIRST TIME YOU FELT THIS POWER WEIGHING ON YOU, YOU WOULDN'T HAVE THIS PROBLEM, NOW WOULD YOU?_**

Please, let them hurry up. She couldn't endure much more of this.

Please. Please, let someone help her.

Please, let this work.

She wanted to talk to them again.

She wanted to speak to Dei again.

**_OH PLEASE. YOU'RE MAKING ME SICK WITH ALL OF THIS GUSHY NONSENSE. GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK HEAD, ALREADY. YOU'RE JUST A MEANS TO AN END. IT'S JUST LIKE ALL THE OTHERS IN YOUR LINE. WHY YOU ALL HAVE TO GET STUCK ON ONE PERSON LIKE THIS, I'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND._**

_No, you won't understand. Is it even possible for something like this to understand? If it could, then it wouldn't be pushing for her death like this._

_I am special, aren't I? I am important, right?_

**_WISHFUL THINKING, YOU BLIND IDIOT. I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE COMPLAINING ABOUT. YOU INVITED ME IN._**

_I did?_

**_YOU POOR SAP. YOU REALLY HAVE NO CLUE._**

Cin never thought that the prick from Samehaeda would ever feel this good. She smiled softly as she felt some of the chakra leave her body, most transferring harmlessly into the sword to be transferred from there, a bit wreaking havoc on Hidan's body.

_No,_ you _are__ the one that has no clue._

**… … … … …**

Hey, a little depressing isn't this? Sorry, I'll try to hurry up and finish this part so that we can go back to the fun stuff that this fic is classified for.

I mean, this is hardly the stuff you guys signed up to read when you first picked up this fic.

Whatever, hope ya'll continue to enjoy this!

See you next time!


	41. Chapter 41: (Sorry)

Hey, I apologize for not being on, a lot of work. However, I gave up hanging out with my friends tonight to write this, so you're welcome.

Thank you for everyone who's still reading, and all of the people who have started reading this story while I was gone.

Thank the people who submitted song suggestions:

_Mybfflisazombie_ – "Please Don't Leave Me" by P!nk; "The Last Thing On Your Mind" by LIGHTS; "We are Young" by Fun; "Hurry Up and Save Me" by Tiffany Giardina; "You Belong with Me" by Taylor Swift

_DokuHimeKami_ – "Nobody" by the Wonder Girls

_elysenjazz_ – "Hot n' Cold" by Katy Perry; "I Knew You Were Trouble" by Taylor Swift; "Diary of Jane" by Breaking Benjamin, "I'd Come for You" by Nickelback; "Give Your Heart a Break" by Demi Lovato

**… … … … …**

**_YOU'RE AN IDIOT, YOU KNOW THAT?_**

_How is that any different from what you've been insisting this entire time._

**_I'M NOT GOING TO DISAPPEAR. IN FACT…I THINK THAT _**you**_ WILL._**

_What are you talking about?_

Cin was scared to hear the smile in the voice's words.

_What are you doing?_

**_WHAT I SHOULD'VE DONE A LONG TIME AGO._**

Cin felt a stab, and it wasn't from Samehaeda, who quickly recoiled from her skin as though she had been stung. She could vaguely hear Hidan shout out in pain, but Cin couldn't make out the words over the rushing in her head.

Something grabbed control of her body, lifting her to her feet. She wanted to scream from the pain, but she was locked in the back of her mind, watching in horror as the voice took control of her body.

She felt her cracked lips bust open as a wide smile forced itself across her face.

_"Let's have some fun."_

That wasn't her voice. It was too high pitched for that. Cin started praying for her rescuers to run. There was no telling what they were messing with now.

**…**

The first warning they should've had was when Hidan jerked away from Cin, nearly dropping Samehaeda in the process. Hidan practically leapt away, jumping to where the others were.

"This isn't good," Kisame, master of the understatement, said.

But there was nothing they could do as Cin moved to her feet, in a jerky fashion, like a puppet controlled by an inexperienced master. Her head was hanging loose, bone white hair obscuring her face.

That is, until she tilted her head back and they saw her lips spread into a manic grin. Her eyes had changed colors again, but the pale blue was sickening in a whole other way.

That wasn't Cin. Deidara didn't know who it was, or what it was, but he knew that it wasn't Cin.

He couldn't have been more right.

_"Let's have some fun."_

The voice was way too high pitched. Cin's voice was in the lower range, not masculine, but lower than a lot of women's. This voice was strangely childlike…and that's what made it worse.

A whip of power, so strong that everyone could see it, snapped from her hands, rotting the corpses that it touched.

_"You are interfering in my mission. Stand down so that I can heal these people, and I will do the same for you."_

"Where's Cin?" Naruto yelled across the room. Deidara knew that he should be asking that question, but his throat wouldn't let him speak.

It shouldn't have been possible, but that crazy smile grew even wider at his words.

_"I am sorry, but Cin can't answer right now. Please leave a message, and maybe she might hear you before she dies."_

"What?" the choked word tore its way out of his throat.

_"Cin betrayed her mission. I am merely here to fulfill it before taking her to pay the price."_

She gestured with the whip again, creating more lines of rotting flesh on the corpses around her.

_"Now, _move_."_

**…**

It was too much power, that much was obvious. It simmered right under her skin, and she could feel the fragile tissue ripping under the sheer force.

But, trapped in her own mind, there was nothing Cin could do. Nothing but watch. A large piece on her skin cracked open, reaching from the corner of her mouth all the way up to her temple, near her eye. If it was anything like the cracks she could see forming on her hands, there was blood, darker than usual, but still blood, but also a weird substance that glowed a sickening electric blue. It didn't fall from her skin, but just kept glowing brighter as more and more of it was revealed.

Cin didn't know exactly what was happening to her body…at this point, the pain was so much that she couldn't even tell where it was coming from anymore. It was white-hot, to the point of almost numbness. And then…nothing.

If it wasn't for the fact that she was still moving, still watching the world through her eyes, she would think she was dead already.

Since she was not currently playing limbo in Limbo, she knew that wasn't true.

But she didn't know how long she'd have left.

It was a funny feeling, trying to wrestle in her mind. It had always been hard enough actively wrestling, and her mind was a completely different story.

She had never thought that her mind was this weak.

She wasn't even making a dent in it.

**…**

[AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND HERE'S THE REVIEWS!]

"COME ON!" Deidara roared at the ceiling.

[Eh, the readers' have been waiting too long.]

"SO HAVE WE!"

[Yeah, but no one cares about you. You're just characters in a story someone else wrote, and that I'm borrowing for the sake of a few laughs and making your lives horrible by making you care about someone that you normally wouldn't and that usually you'd just squash like a bug.]

Deidara sunk his head down into his shoulders, and glared at the ceiling, "sadist" he muttered under his breath.

[Considering my class load…I'm not sure that term's accurate.]

"SHUT UP!"

[Moving on! _Mybfflisazombie_ - "I have a message for the Akatsuki; "You're all idiots. Yes, we know you haven't had a good fight in a while now, but to let the one person you were even fighting for almost die. Sad really. Well at least you're doing something now just...hurry is all I can say. "]

Grumbles chorused from the group.

["And dammit Dei man up and tell her how you feel. Or at least show her that you really care about her- she's just as self conscious as every other teenage girl. The evil voice in her head doesn't help either. good luck anyways."]

Deidara blinked, "Evil voice? What are you talking about? Self-conscious, Cin? What? Just stop it! I'm going back!"

[No you're not. I need to check out the rest of the messages.]

"I want to go NOW!"

[Stop acting like a child. It's not going to make me send you back any faster. _Simplicity-Shitsuboku_ – "Good job Hidan! Show everyone how it's done the immortal way! I don't have very much to say about this chapter, but I do want to give the Akatsuki four things that no sane people would give you guys. Animals. There is a badger, a Brazilian Boa Constrictor, a Golden Eagle, and a lion cub. These gifts will may be trained for the sake of evil and the rest of that nonsense, but I want to see where this goes. Let's see how you can handle them. *evil laughter*"]

Hidan let out a war cry, slamming his hand up into the air in a violent punch!

And then he tripped over the Brazilian Boa Constrictor.

[Huh, looks like the snake already has some training. _GEMfaerie_ – "No, Cin, don't listen to that voice. It's only going to hurt you in the end. To the Akatsuki and friends, Hurry the expletive up! Cin's being torn up right now and the voice is NOT helping at all. Anywho, this is really good. Please update soon!"]

Itachi cocked an eyebrow, "Voice? What voice?"

[You'll find out soon enough.]

"No, I am tired of you changing the subject. You will tell us right now."

[Um…no I won't. Moving on! _narniaisrealsostoplyin2urselfs_ – "I also have a message for Hidan "To Hidan: I didn't think it was possible for me to love you more than I already did but with this last chapter you have proven me wrong. Had my mom and brother not been in the room with me at the time I was reading this I would've sqeeled out loud at how adorable it is to see that you actually have an affectionate and caring side and then to see you show that side to everyone was just . . . I couldn't stop smiling. You were sexy to begin with but now you're downright adorable and lovable. I would've told you this beforehand when you've previously shown that you care about Cin if I had been able to get the message directly to you and not have had to go through Ita-kun. I can already imagine how awkward it would've been if you had gotten a message like this from Ita-kun when you didn't believe that Malice-san existed . . . But anyway I'm hoping beyond all hope that your plan to save Cin works and I also hope to see more of that affectionate side of yours in the future. I love you, Hi-chan! (and yes, if it wasn't already obvious I am a MAJOR Hidan fangirl)" I have purposefully made this message to Hi-chan as embarrassing and awkward as possible and I would love it if you were to give him this note in front of everyone to have the embarrassment and akwardness take its full effect (and don't forget to put spaces between the words in my name I remember what happened last time the spaces weren't added)"

Needless to say, there was a very awkward pause, as everyone looked at Hidan, judgment in their eyes.

Hidan, just looked down, his pale skin completely red from embarrassment.

The Jashinist spoke up, "Move on, now?"

[Hm…no, I don't think so. I think I'm just going to let y'all stew in your own juices. Have fun!]

Silence…

"She's coming back…right?" Deidara asked, peering up at the ceiling.

"She didn't leave. How else would our stuff be type out," Kisame nodded sagely….gjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjgjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjjgjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj

"Oh look, she's finally back," Konan smiled softly before her eyes narrowed, "LET'S FINISH THIS!"

[Yes, Konan. Right away. _SakuraDreamerz - _Yay! Cins getting back to normal! To Hidan,Itachi, Deidara, and the rest of the Akatsuki: If you find Orochimaru anywhere, could you please knock him unconscious and stick this into his pants? *gives them a jar of dancing ants* Consider this as a little payback to him from us for him kidnapping Cin *makes an evil grin at the thought of it*"]

They all nodded like the evil masterminds they are.

[_phoenixyfriend_ – "I shudder to think of what Hidan will look like after Cin's chakra is done "wreaking havoc on [his] body." It's a curious thought. And your gore scenes are still acceptable. Honestly? That's actually what you all did? You sicken me. And Kakuzu, you should be ashamed of yourself. After all this is over, you may want to get Cin some psychological counseling, seeing as she currently has a voice in her head. Supposedly, it's the embodiment of her powers or some such nonsense. Of course, it may just be Malice-chan, but even that is debatable."]

Kakuzu just rolled his eyes.

["Deidara... just ignore the ones that are trying to get you to admit to liking Cin. Everyone's figured it out by now, so there's no point anyway, and honestly? It's starting to get a little annoying."]

"I don't like her!" he yelled.

[Wow, that's really nice of you. I'll make sure to tell her you said that.]

"B…but…but.."

[Moving on! "Hidan, we're all proud of you for putting aside your general stubborn pride and slight lack of intelligence to help Cin. But I do have one question for you all...Jashin is there. You have a LITERAL god on your side. That make him even more powerful than Nagato and with memories that likely reach back to before the bijuu. He has experience across aeons and the power to back it up. At the very least, he can likely provide information of some sort regarding Cin and her powers, and possibly even offer up a suggestion of some sort. So why, for the love of anything you may or may not worship, are you ignoring what may be the most important force on your side? Only MaliceArchangela has more power in your world, and that's because she's the author. By ignoring him, you're all, to put it bluntly, kind of shooting yourselves in the foot."

They all looked at each other and started wondering….why HADN'T they done that?

And then I made them forget it.

**…**

They appeared back in the room, staring horrified as Cin started to move again, her eyes looking crazier and crazier every second.

_"Welcome back…now go away_," a surge of energy lashed out at the area they had just vacated.

"You go away…meanie!" Tobi yelled.

_"Ooh, scary. I'm quaking in this body."_

"As you should be," Tobi glared, readying to attack.

Too bad he never got the chance.


	42. Chapter 42: Screaming on the Inside

Good boys and girls get another chapter! Yay!

Don't kill me for what happens, though, seriously. And believe it or not, I actually do have a sort-of idea of where I'm going with this (that's part of the reason I was gone so long, actually).

Can't promise another quick update, but I would like to let you all know that I do not plan to abandon this story ever. If it ever comes a point where I seriously have no ideas of how to continue this story to reach the anticipated finish, I will at least finish it off instead of leaving everyone hanging before they realize it's not happening.

Enjoy!

And also, after a long absence, riddle me this!

A man worked at a high security institution. The man tried to log into his computer and the computer denied the password. He then remembered that the passwords to the computers were reset every month for security reasons. He called his boss for his new password.

The man said, "Boss, my old password is out of date."

The boss said, "Yes, it is. The new password is different, but if you listen closely you will be able to figure out the new one. Your new password has the same amount of letters as the old one, and four of the letters are the same."

The man then logged into his computer with no trouble. What was the new password? What was his old?

**…**

An ice blue tendril flew up from under the floor, wrapping around Tobi's ankle, burning past his pants' legs and hooking onto his skin. He jerked as the tendril flashed. Smiling, that…thing, not Cin – let's just call it the Voice for simplicity's sake – approached him, while he was stuck there, unable to do anything.

The other shinobi warily backed up, forsaking loyalty for the purpose of caution and preparation.

Finally, she was standing right next to him. It was almost hilarious to see the height difference, until you took into account the power rolling off of the petite girl. Tobi glared down at her, struggling to move, but it was as though whatever was in that tendril had paralyzed him.

Smiling up at him, a smile that would've seemed gentle if it wasn't for the state of the rest of her face, she lifted a hand up to his face, gently removing the mask, exposing the scarred side of his face.

_"Such a rough life,"_ she said, touching the scars, ignoring how he flinched as she touched his face, _"Wouldn't you want all signs of that to be gone? Don't you want to heal?"_

He looked contemptuously down at her, "As flattering as that sounds, my heart will forever belong to another," he gathered all of his strength to backhand her across the face, sending the body flying across the room, tumbling like a rag doll. It was a move that could easily break someone's neck unless they knew how to recover from it. From the looks of it, the Voice had no more clue than Cin did on how to get out of this tumble. A phantom scream seemed to echo through the room, yet there was no sign of it coming from the rag doll on the floor.

Every bone in her body had to have been broken by this. A choked yell came from Deidara as he started forward, only to be restrained by the others.

Because, you see, Cin's body was getting to her feet, ignoring the fact that some of her bones were jutting out of her skin. It should've been impossible – even the best, the toughest shinobi, can't get to their feet if their bones are displaced far from their original position.

_"Oh well, that's not very nice, now is it?"_ the bones were a dark blood red, contrasting sharply against the electric blue "blood", _"You do realize that I can't fix this, right? Poor Cin'll never be able to walk again. In fact, she's probably paralyzed by this point…" she reached around to her back, and bulled out a chunk of vertebrae, "…yep, she's definitely paralyzed at this point. I don't think she'll want to come back to this body now. And such a pity…she was fighting _SO_ hard…_"

**…**

Cin had felt that. It's impossible to ignore a pain like that, especially when you know that it means you'll never be able to move again. She recoiled from the invading presence in her mind in horror.

This had always been her biggest fear, being stuck in a body where she could do nothing. Just sit there, able to see the world, but not be able to communicate.

It had been bad enough when the Voice had invaded, and she was unable to retaliate.

It was different now, knowing that she would never, not even if she removed this invading presence, never be able to move by herself.

In the deepest, darkest corner of her mind, she curled up, hugging her knees close to her body. She gave in, and let the Voice have what it wanted.

**…**

A slightly puzzled expression flitted across Cin's face, before it was replaced with the widest smile they had seen yet.

_"Oh dear, Cindra. Where have you gone now? Cin?"_ she looked directly at Deidara, _"I guess she couldn't take that last little bit. I can't seem to find her."_

Rage transfigured the blond's face as he jerked himself free of the others, "Release her, un!"

_"Hm…even if I did, at this point, this body would only die," she pouted a little, "Doesn't that just seem like such a waste?"_

A cruel smile crossed her face, and she snapped her arm towards the bomb, looping a tendril around his waist and yanking him closer to her as the others ducked. With a gesture of her other hand, coils grabbed all of the shinobi by the ankles, yanking them under the ground until only their heads were above the floor, in a way that would be comical if it wasn't quite so serious.

They couldn't even more as the paralyzing effect took place, only watch in horror as Deidara was pulled closer and closer to the Voice.

**…**

"Oh come ON un!"

Don't get him wrong, Deidara was perfectly happy to no longer be staring down whatever it was that was currently inhabiting Cin's body, but these comments kept ruining the whole flow of battle!

[Yeah, yeah, I get it. You've only got one this time, though. _phoenixyfriend_ – "Jashin, I demand you show up, right now, and explain yourself. You're even letting Hidan go into further danger than normal, into a point where he can die. Why aren't you at least TRYING to do something about it? Is the rampant bloodshed really worth it?"]

Jashin appeared in an overly dramatic bolt of lighting and crash of thunder…at least, that's what he's supposed to do. However, because the author's low on sleep and has two science-related tests this week, she's been grumpy enough to annoy the special effects guy, and cause him to set off the explosions early.

So, Jashin sheepishly slunk into view a few minutes after the anticlimactic opening. Placing himself in the center of the circle, he lifted his hands in the air, and went with it!

"Greetings, puny mortals!"

He paused, waiting for a reaction, before sighing, "It used to be us gods got respect in our lines of work. Sacrifices weekly, if not daily! Now…all I have is a crazy guy running around, not recruiting much of anyone, and getting himself incapacitated! Oh how the mighty have fallen!"

[Yes, yes, move on. I've got more writing to do, and very little time since I actually want to sleep tonight.]

Jashin scoffed at the puny author's comments, but did as she respectfully requested, "Rampant bloodshed is totally worth it, because the author likes making all of us suffer. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to get back to work. It's a lot tougher to be a god than most people think."

This time, the explosion was perfectly timed, though it did make everyone cough.  
>["Dei? I JUST told you to ignore everyone talking to you about admitting whatever to Cin. DROP IT. Please."]<p>

"You can't just tell me something and then expect me to drop it!" he yelled, "Even the author hates that!"

[Hey, I just hate it when it's done to me. For you, though, I'm good with it.]

"Lack of sleep makes you into a very cranky person."

[Tell that to my professors. Moving on, "Konan? I'm going to send you a metaphorical hug right now. Don't ask questions as to why (it's complicated on so many levels); just accept the hug."]

Konan raised an eyebrow, but accepted it anyways. A soft smile crossed her face as she leaned into it. It was actually quite comfortable. The smile only grew wider as something seemed to be told to her, but she would refuse to say anything when they asked her later.

["Deidara and Itachi: I give you full permission to tell them about other fanfiction that's out there, my own included. Especially the ones that embarrass them (like GC)."]

Itachi: "Hn."

Deidara: *actually considering it for a bit* "I manage to confuse Itachi!"

Silence resounded through the room.

"Okay, I'm done, un! Put us back!"

**…**

_"Don't go anywhere,"_ it said, not even caring enough to give them a second glance, _"Your turn will come. Remember, surrender, and you will be healed and allowed to go free."_

Another tendril appeared from under the ground, wrapping around their faces, holding their mouths shut tight.

_"Now,"_ it smiled, touching the cut on the bomber's face gently, _"Where were we?"_

Deidara peered into the eyes of the creature (not like he had much of a choice, the way she was gripping his face) and tried, desperately, to see some form of Cin in there.

But there was nothing, nothing at all.

"Cin?" he couldn't help but ask softly.

_"Dei? Dei, are you there? I can't see! Oh, I see a bright light! What happens if I go into the light, Dei?"_

He glared at the voice's joke, "Knock it off."

_"What?"_ the Voice shrugged, _"You wanted a reaction. I gave it to you. What's the problem now?"_

"Give her back," he growled.

_"Can't do, hotshot,"_ a mockery of a concerned expression was on her face, _"That would require one little detail that's not going to happen. She has to WANT to come back. And with the way all of you have trashed her body, I doubt that will happen anytime soon."_

"Heal her."

She smirked at him, _"Doesn't work like that honey,"_ she gestured down at where her shins were jutting out of her legs, _"You think I'd be using all of this power to allow me to walk around if I could just FIX this? Can't heal myself, and that includes whatever body I'm inhabiting."_

"Cin's been able to heal herself."

_"Not by her own realization. Once she realized her power, she no longer is allowed to use it on herself. It's only meant to keep her alive until she can heal others."_

"That's a stupid rule."

_"If she uses all of her power on healing herself, how can she heal someone else? Okay, bored now…I wonder what it is that Cin sees in you," _she grabbed Deidara's collar and pulled him down to her level,_ "I wonder…"_

Deidara's eyes went wide as the Voice in Cin's body yanked him forward into a strong kiss.

And everyone's eyes bugged out.

**…**

Meanwhile, Cin just pulled her metaphorical self into a tighter ball, whimpering.

**…**

The Voice finally allowed him to pull his head back, though it still kept a tight grip on his collar.

_"Nope, still don't see it."_

Deidara barely had time to comprehend those words before he was flying backwards.

The last thought he had before he lost consciousness was that it was impossible for Cin to be so strong…wasn't it?

**…**

The voice tilted her head back and laughed, a loud high-pitched sound that sent chills up the backs of everyone who heard it.

It was at that precise moment that they all realized something very important…Cin really wasn't in there anymore.

They shouldn't hold back any longer. The only thing left in that body was a delusional healer intent on destruction, as strange as that sounds.

If they held back, they'd doom more than just themselves.

It was time to get serious. No matter how strong this "Voice" was, it couldn't hope to stand against fully trained shinobi, all of which with the full intent of total annihilation.

**…**

And meanwhile…Cin was still crying, deep in the core of her being, shoving the palms of her hands against her ears in a futile attempt to drown out the thunderous voice of her jailer.


	43. Chapter 43: Despair

**WARNING: DARK THOUGHTS AND DEPRESSING END TO THE CHAPTER. ****HOWEVER, THIS IS NOT THE LAST CHAPTER! **

A man worked at a high security institution. The man tried to log into his computer and the computer denied the password. He then remembered that the passwords to the computers were reset every month for security reasons. He called his boss for his new password.

The man said, "Boss, my old password is out of date."

The boss said, "Yes, it is. The new password is different, but if you listen closely you will be able to figure out the new one. Your new password has the same amount of letters as the old one, and four of the letters are the same."

The man then logged into his computer with no trouble. What was the new password? What was his old?

**…**

Fortunately, Deidara DID know how to recover from the throw he had been given. He skidded a little on the slick floor, but was able to form one of his clay creations to get him up off the ground, away from the tendrils jutting up out of the ground, grasping for him.

The Voice was pouting now, "_Why must you be so un-fun? This is probably the only time I'll ever get out and be able to move around!_"

"Gee, I wonder why?" Tenten muttered, right before she was yanked completely underground.

"TENTEN!" Neji yelled, struggling to get free.

"_SILENCE!_" they were screeched at. The ground beneath her feet began to shift, and Tenten emerged from the Earth feet first and upside down, glaring furiously.

"Look, I don't DO damsel in distress," she muttered, glaring at the Voice.

"_You will if I wish it,_" a cruel smile crossed her face again as the tendrils twisted, making the shinobi flinch as something paralyzed her. The Voice dropped the limp body to the ground near her.

"_Now…where were we?_"

**…**

[_Simplicity-Shitsuboku_ – "Alright Akatsuki, you guys and a girl better pull yourselves together and beat the living crap out of the Voice. That THING is starting to piss me off more and more. I would love to go on a rant- but I am just way too tired for that today. Seeing as you guys have received a lot of things, I have decided to give you guys this chest for storage. It may look like a normal wooden chest, but it contains an entire dimension within. You will be able to store an infinite amount of things inside of it- size does not matter. I hope you find a way to save Cin soon!"]

Cue stares.

"You're kidding me, right?" Deidara growled, "NOW of ALL times?"

[How long have you known me for now, Dei? Are you seriously surprised?]

"Sadly, no, un."

[Good. _phoenixyfriend_ – "My only advice to you guys is this: confuse it. Do the same thing the Agents do when they go out on something other than a mission. Do things that are so nonsensical that it doesn't know what to make of you. And use the fangirls." Of course, this only works if I let it, so I hope y'all got a back-up plan."

"NO!" Deidara roared, "Stop jerking us around! Do you have ANY clue how exasperating it is not to have ANY ability to help the people around you?"

[Nope. None at all. Good luck!]

**…**

"_Oh, what's wrong now, sweetheart_?"

Why was her attention turned inwards? Why was she watching Cin?

"_Thinking about yourself in third person doesn't help, darlin'. With how weak you are, I can't help but wonder how you held me off for so long."_

**Stop talking.**

_"Why? Does this bother you?"_

**You know it does.**

Cin flinched back as pain broke through.

_"Ooh, someone's gaining a spine. Can't have that now, can we?"_ laughter echoed painfully through her head.

**Just leave them alone**. Cin hated pleading. She hated begging. It made her feel weak. Her brother had always told her to never beg from anyone. And she had always kept that rule. Even when she was bent over from the pain that was ripping her up from the inside, she never spoke up to ask for help. It was so much more than not wanting others to worry about her. The truth was…she WANTED them to notice. She wanted them to ask, she wanted them to pry. She WANTED them to find out the truth. She just didn't want to admit that she was the weak one. She knew that she was the weak link, but she never wanted to admit it out loud.

It would be like making it extraordinarily real. And she couldn't let that happen. So she kept silent, bit back the cries of pain that threatened to tear her apart. When the Voice started speaking, she gnawed her lip, trying to ignore the prospect of her going insane. It would be fixed on its own, she figured.

But she was wrong. And now she was doing the thing that she despised more than anything else. More than being short, more than being weak, more even than not being able to do anything to help the people she cared about.

She was begging.

She was crying, and she was begging. It was all she could do to not ask for herself to be set free. It was either her or them…and she wanted to be selfish. She wanted to be selfish so badly. It seemed to be that the one time she really wanted to be selfish, to take it all for herself, her conscience wouldn't let her.

The truth was, the world would be better off with the ninja standing before her. Good or bad, the world would be different without them.

The world wouldn't even notice if she went missing. Everyone would forget about her soon enough. She wasn't important. She was a disappointment. Cin was supposed to be a tool; that was her only purpose since the moment she was born. It was clear to her now. It was why her parents had tried to leave the shinobi life behind. It was why her brother had never told her about her "Gift", and instead had Konoha send people to kidnap her and bring her back by force. This was why Orochimaru had abducted her, with the intention of running tests on her abilities.

Cin was worthless. The healer was a tool. Both could easily be done without. They'd managed without her before. Their lives were easier before she got involved.

Back before she knew about her ability (and long before she realized that the ability was sentient), she had been confident that maybe, just maybe, they liked her for herself. She never told anyone this, never even admitted it to herself, but part of the reason she stunk at making friends was the fear of rejection; the fear that maybe they'd only put up with her to be nice.

She had scared herself when she first met Deidara. She had almost wanted him to kill her, to end her loneliness. That was the real reason behind her fearlessness. She had wanted him to kill her. She was more shocked than he was when he laughed, and became her friend. But she had still thought that he was manipulating her, and that when his friends arrived, they'd murder her without a second thought.

Needless to say, she had been wrong about that. She admitted to pushing the envelope a few times, just in an attempt to force out their true feelings. Eventually, she began to think that perhaps they WERE telling the truth. And for once in a long time, she felt happy. Cin had been quite aware that she had outlived her usefulness, but she was still alive. The Akatsuki didn't seem like a group that would willingly put up with someone they hated unless there was some use to them. She was useless, but it seemed as though they'd be willing to make her part of their crew anyways. How permanent that would be, she hadn't wanted to consider.

And then, it came out. She was the healer that they had come out there looking for, and suddenly she couldn't be sure of anything anymore. She pushed and shoved, but their reactions were never the same as before. Their dynamics had changed with this revelation, and she hated it.

Cin had thought that maybe, by distance, the Akatsuki wouldn't want her anymore. Maybe they'd forget about her. Maybe she could disappear. She didn't know what she'd do, but she wanted to try.

But then they showed up at the beginning of freshman year of college, and made her conflicted. They were overprotective, jumping at every shadow, worried that someone would take their prize away from them.

Even now, the only reason they showed up was to get back the tool they had attempted to polish into a weapon. They didn't want all of their work to go to waste.

But despite knowing all of that, despite knowing how little she meant to all of them, she still wanted to do this. She laughed a little at that. She sounded like one of those characters she had so despised in books, the simpering idiot who wants to die for everyone, sacrifice themselves.

The difference here…was that they didn't like her. None of them did. They didn't know her enough to truly like HER. They didn't know how she'd cry in the shower, because that was the only place no one would catch her. They didn't realize that she'd claw at her arms, her face, when she was nervous. They didn't realize that she'd chew on the inside of her mouth when she was upset, almost to the point that she could taste the iron salty taste of blood. They weren't there when she had failed tests, and hit at her head with a water bottle because she couldn't stand her own stupidity.

No one noticed, because no one cared.

And strangely enough, she was fine with that. She was fine with watching from the outside, and letting them move on with their lives. Maybe it was self-centered of her to think this, but this "Healer" thing had created more conflict than it should ever. She was meant to HEAL, not DESTROY, but that's not the way she was working. She forced herself into a position where she could see through her own eyes, and peered out at the carnage before her. All were once people, people who maybe had families, no choice in this matter.

And it was because of her that they were slaughtered like sheep.

She had always thought that the Voice was some alien thing that came with the power.

The truth? The honest truth? The truth that she wanted to deny so badly? The truth she had discovered after countless hours researching the scrolls Itachi had obtained for her. No one reported a voice of any kind forcing them to heal.

The Voice was her. She was the Voice. The part of herself that she suppressed, just like her healing abilities.

That was why she couldn't stop it, not by forcing it back down. Life didn't work like that. It was impossible to destroy a part of herself without destroying herself in turn.

She could only see one route out of this whole mess, and she didn't care.

Cin was tired. So tired. She wanted to sleep; she wanted to sleep without waking up in fear of what her power had done when she was unconscious. She wanted to sleep without waking up with a mouth full of blood, something that had become almost common due to her constant chewing of her cheek.

And most of all…she didn't want to look at their faces and worry about whether or not there was honesty or deceit in their eyes. Better that she do it now, and end it.

If she found out later, if she ignored it for now and discovered the truth later down the life, it would destroy her. And she had no confidence in her ability to keep this cruel power checked if it broke free a second time.

She wouldn't just destroy herself. She'd destroy everyone she'd grown to care for, even if they hated her. SHE hated herself, for thinking that she was so important that just dying would solve everyone's problems.

But what else could she do?

**Please.**

**…**

It was disturbing to watch, Dei realized, as he saw something that resembled tears roll down the Voice's face. She seemed shocked too, reaching up to touch the tears, and then furious.

_"YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME!"_ she roared; somehow the shinobi all knew that it wasn't directed towards them, but somewhere inside that body, _"I AM YOU!"_

Her body was moving, not under the Voice's control, painfully, but moving all the same as the power cloaking the body flickered. It bent to the floor, and picked up a dagger, one of many weapons that littered the floor.

"I know," a broken, raspy voice choked out from the body, one that could be somehow recognizable as Cin, "I know you're hurting. I am too. And that's why I have to fix this."

Deidara frowned, something in his mind warning him what was about to happen. He prepared to run to her, run to Cin, but she stood up, looked at him.

She tilted her head to the side, and smiled that little smile of hers as she lifted her hand in front of her.

"Don't try to stop me, Dei," she whispered, yet somehow it carried as a shimmering blue barrier formed around her in a large semi-circle, pushing Tenten out of it as it expanded, "Let me just remember this all as it was."

He couldn't obey, running to the barrier and slamming on it. He yelled, didn't know what he was saying, only knew that he was desperate for some reason that he couldn't put his finger on. He could feel the barrier vibrate as he pounded on it; felt it move even more when the others joined his crusade.

Yet they could do nothing.

Cin closed her eyes, grasped the blade with both hands, and plunged it into her stomach. The chakra cloaking her, letting her stand upright, practically vanished in an instant, sending her crumpled to the floor. The barrier expanded briefly and violently, as the remains of the healing chakra fled her body, attempting to escape, only to be constrained by the remnants of the wall. And all too quickly, even that vanished.

The second that occurred, Deidara was sprinting forward, sliding in the blood next to her body, landing hard on his knees. He pushed her roughly to her back, confused at what to do. The wound from the dagger wasn't leaking blood, and her skin was pale, anemic really.

_"You realize she was already dead, right?_"

He looked up with a jerk to see those twisted eyes looking at him calmly.

_"The minute all of her bones were shattered, she died. She only held on because I was holding this body together,"_ a weak grin crossed the face, _"I guess you won then, huh? She won. I'll give you a little reward for that."_

Deidara opened his mouth. He didn't know what for. To yell? To cry? To argue?

It's not like the Voice gave him a choice, speaking before he had a chance to verbalize his thoughts.

_"I can give you her body, healed. That's all I can do, and that's all you can ever expect from me. She fought a good fight, and I hate the idea of her mangled body being the only thing to remember such a strong warrior."_

Deidara wanted to scream at her. He didn't WANT her body. He wanted HER! Cindra, Cin, the girl who infuriated him, and made him want to laugh, all at once.

But once again, he wasn't given the chance. The minute those sickly twisting eyes closed, the wounds healed, and a cold, obviously dead Cin was lying in his arms.

Deidara wanted to throw the body to the ground in rage. He wanted to blow it up, he wanted to destroy it so as to get rid of the feelings that were threatening to overwhelm him.

Then why was he just standing there, holding onto it tightly as though it was the only thing keeping him alive? He didn't know the answer to that question, and it scared him.

All he could do was snarl at his danna, when the red head moved forward, and started pulling at Cin's boot.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" he roared, only to be slapped by Sasori's wooden hand.

"Pull yourself together, brat. I'm trying to save her."

Deidara had to laugh at that.

"Impossible, un! She's dead! You know that! EVERYONE knows it!"

"Maybe…maybe not."

"NO! No maybe about it!"

"Someone knock him out!" Sasori roared, and suddenly the world around him started growing dark. He fell onto his back, and saw the members of his team and the Konoha shinobi crowd around Sasori, who was pulling Cin (no, that thing wasn't her, wasn't Cin), that lifeless THING away.

And then he could see no more.

**…**

Before you start in on me, let me just say that was not easy for me to write. I had to go to a dark place of myself, and I just hope I did a good job on it.

For anyone who has read this and felt terrible, please don't take it to heart. The story is not done yet, and I don't want this to be the cause of a really bad day for someone.

Part of the reason this took so long to write was because I didn't want this to happen. I kept trying to find a way out, but the truth was that I had backed myself into a corner. I had no choice.

But this is not the end of my story. So I hope you will continue reading.

Good night.


	44. Chapter 44: Return to Limbo

Sorry for the short update. Just trying to keep this rolling along, before I loose my train of thought.

I don't want to miss my station!

Also, just wanted to let all of you who enjoy the Hunger Games know, that there is an awesome author out there who does GREAT SYOTs. Name is ATallTale, just finished their first one, and is starting on their second. They are really awesome, and you should definitely read them!

(Also, awesome points from me if you can guess in a private message to me which characters is my submission, and tell me why you think so).

A man worked at a high security institution. The man tried to log into his computer and the computer denied the password. He then remembered that the passwords to the computers were reset every month for security reasons. He called his boss for his new password.

The man said, "Boss, my old password is out of date."

The boss said, "Yes, it is. The new password is different, but if you listen closely you will be able to figure out the new one. Your new password has the same amount of letters as the old one, and four of the letters are the same."

The man then logged into his computer with no trouble. What was the new password? What was his old?

The answer?

The man's old password was "out of date".

His new password is "different".

**…**

Deiara opened his eyes. It was a weird dream. A weird, impossible dream that he was happy to be waking up from. His ceiling was exactly the same as the one in the Akatsuki headquarters, smelling of gunpowder and explosives. He was confused, disoriented. Weren't they just at college? Cin's college?

He took in a deep breath, inhaling the sweet scent of summer, feeling the heat of the air passing through his trachea and into his lungs.

Summer? Didn't Cin's college have a break during the summer? A huge smile lit up his face.

That must mean that they were all here! All at the Akatsuki base!

And that meant…Cin was here too…

He leapt up from his bed, not sparing a minute to understand why he had been sleeping in his clothes…or why he was covered in dried blood.

Of course, he had woken up that way often enough that it wasn't TOO odd. He slammed open his door, rushing out into the hallway.

Where would Cin be staying? He reasoned that it was probably somewhere near Konan. He pouted a little at that; Konan's rooms were all the way across the headquarters.

He suddenly skidded to a stop, upon seeing Sasori's bedroom door open.

Sasori's bedroom door was never open. For one, Sasori always kept the door closed when he was working.

Number two…Sasori never used his bedroom. He never needed to sleep, so whenever he was in his suite, he was always in the workroom.

Always working.

Deidara liked to joke that the puppeteer would "work himself to death".

Sasori never really found it very funny.

But now, Deidara was curious, as he grinned mischievously, sidling up to the door. This might be some good blackmail one day. He'd FINALLY make the old geezer admit that art was fleeting, NOT eternal.

He flipped around the doorframe, ready to laugh at whatever ridiculous activity the puppet-master was doing in the room…and stopped cold.

What was Cin doing in Sasori's bedroom?

At first, anger rushed through his veins; he didn't know why or where it came from, but he was furious. How could she lie there, sleeping, when he was looking for her so desperately? Why was she in Sasori's room?

He stood there, staring. His mind was moving too fast for him to catch up. He was noticing things that shouldn't be significant…but somehow they were.

Cin was missing a shoe. She was unusually pale. But she still seemed like she was sleeping…?

Suddenly, he noticed the redhead appear at Cin's side; he was pacing back and forth in front of his (her?) bed, his nose deep inside a packet of papers. And then Deidara's vision widened.

Why were the others there too?

Deidara slammed his way through the doorway, slamming the door itself hard against the wall.

"What's going on here?" he roared, earning himself everyone's attention except Sasori's and Kisame's. Sasori was focused on his notes. Kisame seemed deep in a meditative state.

In a few short steps, he was at Cin's side, roughly grabbing her shoulder, ignoring how her head lolled about limply.

"What's going on, Cin?" he spoke in a hushed voice, "Stop pretending you're asleep!"

No one spoke.

"It's not funny! STOP IT!"

"Deidara, enough," Konan was suddenly at his side, snatching him away from the sleeping girl, "She's dead."

He didn't believe her. He COULDN'T believe her. Cin wasn't dead. She couldn't be…could she?

"Cin?" he reached out a cautious arm towards the now rumpled girl, her body lying now at a rather uncomfortable angle.

It was useless. There was no one there.

"Cin was right about the huge chakra reserve," Sasori finally spoke up, but he wasn't talking to him. He had pulled Kisame out of his trance, "At least the fool girl had thought of a strategy of her own. Based off of mine, but it should work. At least I don't have to do this from scratch. She should be in Limbo…waiting."

"How do you know that?" Deidara snapped at him.

Sasori smiled a little at that, gesturing two a particular paper, "She placed this in her boot. Clever girl. She knew I'd think to check there. I placed mine in my leg, after all."

"The last time she did this, she nearly died!"

Brown eyes narrowed at him, as his fingers twitched, forming chakra threads that yanked Deidara down onto a nearby seat.

"Lest you forget, **boy**, she's already dead. And I have a much better idea of how to do this than she ever did. So sit down, and shut up, or else I will knock you unconscious and you had BETTER hope that you wake up."

Sasori no danna had never seemed quite so fierce to Deidara, even when they were arguing over the proper viewing of art. Maybe it was that, maybe it was the shock of it all sinking in, as he realized that the strange, horrible, dream that he had…was no dream. But Deidara sat, and stayed.

But he appeared to have completely lost his partner's attention, as he turned around, focusing back on the task at hand. Kisame looked up from where he had been reading the notes, and nodded.

They were ready.

It was time.

"Shouldn't I go too?" Deidara suddenly spoke up again.

"No."

The blond was visibly startled by the outright refusal, especially as it came from Kisame.

"She's more likely to listen to reason if no one blows up at her," the fish-man quirked a humorless smile, "Your temper is a little combustible."

**…**

Sasori didn't know what to expect going in. Maybe something similar to the empty room that he had been trapped in? Certainly not this whirlwind of light and color.

And sound.

Sound.

SOUND!

The song that he could only recognize as the Limbo song from when he had been trapped there with Cin, was playing. Over, and over, and over, and OVER again!

Maybe he took a wrong turn. Maybe this was one step further than Limbo.

And then he saw her.

Cin

**...**

Also, awesome points to everyone who remembered the Limbo chapter from before, and thought I might use it again!


	45. Chapter 45: Limbo Version 2

Longer than the last chapter, but not as long as I'd like. Sorry.

Where there are two, you see just one.  
>But if there are thirty, you will see none.<br>It comes in a month, but not in a year.  
>Horror has several, but it causes no fear.<br>It's in Wisconsin, but not New Hampshire.  
>It's in a response, but not in an answer.<p>

HINT: It is not a letter in the alphabet.

**…**

"Cin?" Sasori called out, and the girl whirled around…and smiled at him.

"Hey, Sasori! You're just in time for tea!"

The puppet paused, "Tea?"

Don't get him wrong, he liked tea (at least, he had when he was alive and therefore capable of actually enjoying the taste, but it seemed a little out of place in Limbo.

"Yes, tea!" she exclaimed, clapping her hands and whirling about in a very un-Cin-like manner.

"We don't have time for that! I need you to come back with me now."

She paused, and it was silent for a few moments. Even the annoying "Limbo" music ceased.

"Go back?" she looked directly at him, eyes cold, "Why?"

A red eyebrow raised, puzzled, "Because we want you there."

A frown deepened, "It'll hurt."

Sasori's eyes went wide, "THAT'S what you're worried about? Cin, don't be so childish."

And now, to his surprise, she pouted, "I can be childish if I want to!" and she clapped her hands, de-ageing right before his eyes. Now, the Cin before him could easily pass for 10 years old, a little petite thing, who laughed at him before sprinting to a table that had just appeared, seating herself at the head. It was practically groaning with the teapots, the food, and all of the delicacies piled on it.

"Order in the court!" the slightly deeper voice of the child laughed, slamming a scepter against the table.

Sasori was confused (as I am sure you are). This couldn't really be Cin, right? It looked like her, but his friend wouldn't act like that.

"Please!" she gestured to the table, "Have a seat!"

Sasori decided to humor her, sitting down, hoping that he'd be able to figure out what was going on.

She smiled at him from across the table as the child grabbed a huge top hat from the table, placing it delicately onto her head, and handed over a set of rabbit ears.

Sasori eyed them with disdain, "I think not."

The child pouted, but the redhead was not moved by the expression. The child (he refused to call it Cin) sighed and changed the offering ears into mouse ones.

"Still no."

The child rolled her eyes and clapped her hands. Sasori's hair nearly burst into flames with anger when he realized that he was dressed in a girlish blue dress with matching ribbons.

He slammed his hands on the table, yelling at her, "STOP PLAYING AROUND!"

The frown deepened, eyebrows lowering dangerously over angry eyes.

"You're not being much fun," she spoke sourly, before suddenly brightening, leaping to her feet as she perched on her chair, "NEW CUP! EVERYONE MOVE DOWN!"

She scurried to the next chair, and glowered at Sasori until he reluctantly did as she said, and then the child brightened again. She lifted a giant ornate teapot, and poured into the cup standing in front of Sasori, before pouring herself one, all with the greatest air of solemnness.

"Cream and sugar?"

"Whatever," Sasori rolled his eyes, making a dismissive gesture.

She smiled gently at him, and poured a liberal amount of both into the cup, stirring each with a silver spoon before placing it daintily in the saucer, and handing one over to Sasori, while cupping her hands around the other.

She took a sip, and smiled, sighing with content.

Sasori looked down, and was immediately puzzled.

"There's nothing in here."

He looked up at her to see a weary smile, one that he had seen many times on Cin's face recently. Too many times, in fact. It was funny that he remembered it in hindsight, but didn't notice it then.

"You want to go back, don't you?"

"…Yes?"

"Then you can't have anything to eat or drink." She waved her hand, and the food all wavered like a mirage, "Limbo functions differently for everyone. It's a reflection of the mind. I've always read a lot of fairy tales, and so my idea of Limbo reflects that. It functions like the fairy realm. And if you partake of food or drink in the fairy realm, you can never return to reality," suddenly she beamed, "Besides! You can't eat anything anyways, Sasori no danna!"

He nodded, even though he didn't quite understand what she was saying about fairy tales.

"Very well, then. Let's get down to business."

"To defeat! The Huns! HUH!" she sang, giggling before gesturing at him to continue.

His eyebrow began to twitch, but he forced himself to continue, "You need to come back."

That stopped her laughter cold.

"I do?"

"Yes. You do."

"And, WHY is that?" she leaned forward over the table, resting her chin delicately on her hands.

It's not the end of your story, yet," was the cold response.

Darkness swirled in the child's amber eyes, "I think it is, Sasori I DIED, remember? That constitutes an end of a story."

"It didn't have to be that way."

"Yes, it did," the grin returned, "NEW CUP! MOVE DOWN!"

He grabbed her wrist across the table before she could move, "You have to listen to me, Cin."

"No, I don't!~" she sang as his hand fell through her as though she was a ghost, "I don't have to do anything if I don't want to."

His eyes narrowed, and he flipped the table onto the flickering figure of the little girl.

"Hey!" the child reappeared atop the table, "What if I WASN'T immaterial, huh?"

Sasori smirked dryly, "You died, remember?"

"Oh, so you DO know! That's good to hear. I'd hate for you to have lost your wits, just to visit me."

"Who says I'm just visiting? I'm bringing you back with me."

"I don't think that's going to happen, Sasori. It doesn't work like that."

"It worked that way before."

"Yeah, it did."

"It will work again."

"No, it won't."

The voice didn't come from the child in front of him. he whirled around to see a second Cin come from behind a random door that was leading to nowhere, this one an adult. She was polishing a bright red apple on her shirt as she looked at him, tired.

"And why is that?" he asked.

"**Hey! Don't ignore me!**" the child cried out behind him, but his focus was completely on the figure that he was certain was the REAL Cin.

"Pay no attention to the person behind the curtain," she spoke wryly to him.

"**What she said!**"

"Why won't it work, Cindra?"

She lifted her chin slightly as she examined the apple, checking over to ensure its perfection.

"Because I don't want to go back."

**…**

Pain groaned as he massaged his forehead. All of this stress and chaos had turned his minor, constant headaches, into major, constant migraines. He just wanted Cin back so that she could FIX this.

He understood the fact that most of his team saw her as a person, as a friend. He understood that it was something easy to do.

But he couldn't afford to think that way. He was the leader, the man behind the curtain. The man pulling the strings.

He needed Cin to be nothing more than a tool to the team. Any other method was a liability. He had tolerated the friendship in the beginning, because it was a way to integrate the team into a foreign area. But he hadn't expected it to grow beyond that.

His whole team was nothing more than a tool to him. And they were nothing more than tools to each other.

That is how S-class criminals work. That is how shinobi are SUPPOSED to work. He was quite aware that some shinobi (sucha s those native to Konoha), were starting to have different ideals, focusing on teamwork instead of simple toleration of divergent personalities and useful skill sets.

But when they became friends with Cin, somehow they became friends with each other as well. Not best buddies, but friendly enough to care when something happened to the others. Even now, they were all waiting in Sasori's room, praying for the best.

All but him.

Going against Konoha for Cin''s return was a calculated risk. He only made it because of the value she brought the Akatsuki, and the disadvantage she would create if she sided with Konoha.

If the team had refused to obey him, had he decided NOT to make that risk, he would have slaughtered them. There were other S-class criminals out there that he could recruit. The only ones that were truly necessary were himself, Konan, Tobi, and Zetsu.

And those were the four that would refuse to risk everything they had worked for in order to save the girl.

But this, this wasn't sanctioned by him. The team was out of control.

That girl had come into their lives like a virus, to which they had no immunity, and had spread like a cancer, even infecting his Uchiha.

He wasn't even leading them, anymore. At this point, he was merely the figurehead, and he HATED it.

It made him feel ignored, made him feel like the ignorant Nagato again.

He felt useless.

And there was nothing he could do to stop it.

They were in there now, conducting a procedure that, if it failed, would cost him not only the healer, but also Akasuna and Hoshigaki. Deidara was so sure that he was in love with this girl (PLEASE, the whole of Akatsuki could tell, even when both the bomber and the healer were unaware), that he'd probably go off the deep end if she didn't return.

He should never have sent Deidara out there in the first place.

She had forced a change in all of his criminals, even the ones firmly loyal to him. if she got too close to him, she'd destroy Pain, and force Nagato out of hiding.

This world NEEDED Pain. That was why he had created him in the first place. Him, Yahiko, and Konan.

The world needed to learn how to fix its problems from the School of Hard Knocks, just like he and his friends had.

If they didn't, then he would end them, and make the world a better place.

And finally, when he was the only corrupted being left on their planet, he'd rid them of him, once and for all.

But this was only possible so long as poor little Nagato didn't come forward.

He wished that he knew how to avoid it, while still keeping a firm hold of his little tool. But as it was, it was becoming more and more of a liability to the stability of his plan.

"What are you thinking?"

He turned to see the figure of Tobi appear behind him.

"Madara," he greeted the shinobi by the name he had been given. Whether or not it was his true name, Pain didn't care. He only needed the power and the plan formulated by the mysterious figure. Everything else, he couldn't care less about.

"We have a slight problem."

"I know."

"And?"

"I'm working on it."

"Good. See that it is done."

If they enacted the moon plan quickly enough, perhaps he could kill off Cin, and yet keep the idea that she is alive in the members' minds? Make them addicted to the idea of the moon plan, make them dedicated to making it perfect.

And then he could get rid of them, those threats to his perfect world.

It wasn't much of a plan.

But it was a start.

So long as Nagato did not appear.

**… … … … …**

Don't you just hate it when you are aimlessly writing, and something else just RANDOMLY appears? This was completely stream of consciousness, so let us just hope it continues to work. Hopefully I haven't bitten off more than I can chew, but trying to unwrite it at this point just doesn't work for me.

Hope everyone is continuing to enjoy reading this story! And we'll get back to Cin and Sasori next time!


	46. Chapter 46: Hanging Out in Limbo

Where there are two, you see just one.  
>But if there are thirty, you will see none.<br>It comes in a month, but not in a year.  
>Horror has several, but it causes no fear.<br>It's in Wisconsin, but not New Hampshire.  
>It's in a response, but not in an answer.<p>

HINT: It is not a letter in the alphabet.

**… … … … …**

"Cin, don't be ridiculous."

Wrong thing to say.

"**YOU'RE STILL NOT LISTENING!**" the child yelled at him. As he whirled to face her, he found himself thrown against the wall by an invisible force.

The child approached him, eyes swirling those sickening colors that were etched into his mind. And Cin just watched.

"What is that _thing_ doing here?" he snarled out.

"**You still don't get it, do you?**" the child stood before him, forcing his chin up to look into her nauseating eyes, "**Too impatient for your own good. Never notice anything that doesn't concern you. Too scared that the world will go on and leave you behind, and so gave yourself unlimited amounts of time. You make me SICK!**" her voice echoed, even in the open space.

"Cin, what is IT doing here?" he roared. The girl's face only grew pale as she clutched her apple close to her heart.

The child was changing shape again, growing older before his eyes until a carbon copy of Cin appeared before him, all but those eyes.

"**I am Cin, and Cin is me. We are one and the same, and yet not.** **And yet none of you noticed. No one noticed at all…do you have any idea when I first appeared? When I first formed? Any idea at all?**"

He gave no response. A wide Cheshire-grin grew on her face as she strutted over to where Cin was, wrapping an arm around the other girl and leaning in.

"**Okay, I'll give you that it's a tough question. I guess I've always been there. But I gained consciousness at a specific point, I think it was around the time when we treed ourselves to avoid a tiny, miniscule, insignificant, inconsequential, petty, puny, little papercut,**" her voice twisted as she talked, mocking him, deriding him, disdaining his very existence.

"What?"

"**You remember that time, don't you Cin? We told Deidara that we were just stressed about exams. It wasn't even a good lie, and yet he swallowed it whole anyways! Then, we went off on our own, and they didn't even notice until much later.**"

Cin bit her lip, eyes sad as she nodded feebly. The other Cin, the Voice (Sasori could recognize her now), grinned.

"**And even when we returned, all they did was yell at us. And when they finally noticed how unstable your chakra felt, what did they do? Nothing! And we got kidnapped instead! I bet they even forgot how your chakra felt like it was going to explode!**"

"I know," Cin spoke softly, sitting down and plucking a bunny plush toy from the table, and snuggling close to it.

The Voice turned back to Sasori, "**So WHAT, exactly, makes you think she's going to go back now?**"

Sasori met her eyes levelly, "A second chance."

"**Oh, so she NEEDS to redo something in her life? Did she do something SO bad that she has to make it right? Come off it, puppet-boy! The world doesn't revolve around you and your little party! You don't HAVE to drag her out of here, where she can finally get some rest, finally get some sleep without worrying what will happen if she relaxes one second! You say that you want to protect her! All of you claim that! But did you ever ONCE consider that by being by her side, interacting with her, YOU were putting her in danger? You're the monsters here, not me!**"

"Nic!" Cin protested, "That's not very nice!"

"_Nic_?" Sasori sputtered. Cin looked sheepish.

"I had to call her something!"

Sasori walked over to the wall and started slamming his head against it in a parody of what had happened the last time he ended up in limbo.

"You – _(slam!)_ – don't – _(slam!)_ – give – _(slam!)_ – your – _(slam!)_ – alter – _(slam!) _– ego – _(slam!)_ – a – _(slam!)_ – name!"

"…why not?"

Sasori's head rotated around his body to give her his patented deadpan stare, "Seriously?"

She nodded, "Seroiously."

The head rotated back around and went back to slamming against the wall.

"Okay, Sasori. I think you should go back now. You're running out of time."

"Not going back without you."

"**Hey, idiot! She said no!**"

The redhead ignored her, turning to look directly at Cin.

"We miss you."

"**Oh puh-lease! Tell us another one!**"

"So?" she curled her knees up under her chin, "I'm not going back."

"You're acting like a spoiled child again."

"I realize that. However, you're being selfish yourselves. You just want me back for the healing ability."

And now it comes out. Cin's eyes grew wide as she realized she actually said it aloud. She slunk down further into her chair, clutching the toy closer to herself, grabbing the piece of fruit again and starting to play with it.

"What did you say?"

Shoot, why was the chakra pulling at him NOW?

"I know you heard me," the girl muttered.

"**You know, this whole scene seems almost romantic**," the Voice sneered at him, "**I think I'm about to be sick. But correct me if I'm wrong, puppet-boy, but I don't think you like her that way at all**."

The two stared at her in confusion.

"Nic!" Cin cried out petulantly, "That was rude and uncalled for!"

The Voice just snorted, crossing over to stand behind Cin's chair, wrapping her arms around the girl and resting her chin on her head.

"**You gotta admit**," she murmured, rubbing her cheek comfortingly against the healer's hair, "**The dialogue sounds like something straight from a bad romance.**"

"No, I don't," Cin murmured, though it wasn't with her usual force and confidence. It was confusing, and though Sasori would never admit it, a little scary, to see Cin act like this.

Where was her usual, confident, foolhardy self? This wasn't her, this just wasn't Cin.

Where was she?

Where was Cin?

"I'm right here," she smiled softly at his confusion, "Thoughts travel easily here."

"Cin wouldn't keep herself here," he attempted to protest, "She wouldn't give up on life!"

"I'm not giving up. I'm just accepting that mine is at its end. I'm DEAD, Sasori. Accept it and move on. I won't burden you anymore."

"Come back with me!"

"It's impossible, Sasori," she shook her head, as she held up the fruit she had been carrying earlier. A bite had been taken out of it, "Even if I had wanted, I'm bound here now. I can't leave."

**…**

Something was greatly wrong, that much was obvious. Kisame was doing his best to pull the puppeteer back, and he was fighting it, pained expressions flickering across his face with every jolt.

Why was it taking so long? It had been twenty-three hours since Sasori had gone under. The redhead's precise control of his chakra, as well as the larger amount and the preparations for this ahead of time, had allowed the scorpion a much greater time under than had been available to Cin.

But even though time inside Limbo was different than out in the real world (according to Sasori), it shouldn't take this long for them to return. The great beast without a tail was waning in power; almost all of Sasori's was gone, causing this venture to rely mostly on Kisame's by this point.

But that wasn't what worried him, not right now. Kisame still was able to hold on. For now at least.

But Pein was starting to raise the possibility of cutting the line.

Why was it happening again? Why was this taking so long?

Leader had given them one more hour.

One more insignificant hour. All-in-all, only 24 hours to save her.

It was as though this was some kind of horrible story, with the clichéd time limit.

24 hours. And then their way out would be cut.

He couldn't rely on the way out Cin had found before to work again. That was a fluke. It wouldn't happen, never again. Cin had possessed enough latent power, healing power, to get them both back home. She hadn't been under nearly as long as Sasori had, and the power left in her reservoirs was only that which she couldn't use with her conscious will.

Sasori would be out of chakra. And even if he wasn't, his chakra was not specifically crafted for healing.

Not like Cin's.

Of course, no one had power like Cin, did they? That's what this whole problem was about.

If her power was common, they wouldn't all be fighting over her. If it was common, Orochimaru wouldn't have abducted her, just for the sole reason of finding out what made her "tick".

They wouldn't have gone looking for her in the first place if that was the case.

She'd be yet unaware…and safe. It was only after she found out that she entered REAL danger.

And it was all his fault.

It was his fault from the very beginning.

He had been in a rush, in a reckless and excited mood that day, and he had fallen from his bird.

To be completely honest, he was lucky that he hadn't broken his neck. Or maybe he had.

It seemed so insignificant, the reason behind his slip. One would expect the reason for him to lose his footing would be something monumental. He had ridden his birds many a time, and had not fallen off since his first year of learning this technique.

But it wasn't. It was a foolish move made by a foolish little boy.

He was unable to stop his fall, he was so shocked at his idiocy. His mind had blanked, his reflexes had shut down.

There was nothing he could do but watch as he plummeted to what he felt sure was his death.

He had wondered, many times since discovering Cin's identity, whether or not he had been knocking on Death's door that day. Perhaps the only reason he had survived was that his plight had pulled some of Cin's healing chakra out by force. Maybe that was the reason she was able to find him.

All pure speculation, of course. But he couldn't see any other real possibility. Not now. Not ever.

Why had she wanted to die? They could've found a way to rid her of the Voice. Why couldn't she have waited a little longer?

He had seen the desperation, the pure fear in her eyes before it all vanished. All she left behind was the Voice, and even that disappeared, after mocking him.

Healing her body, yet taking away everything that had made her the person he…cared for. Yes, he cared for her. He cared greatly for her.

So she had better hurry up and come back already. Deidara was an S-class criminal, after all. He wasn't used to not getting what he wanted. Call him selfish, call him greedy.

Call him whatever you want!

He just wanted Cin to come back. It was too soon for her to leave him.

She had to come back, right?

He heard a thud that came from inside the room, and he rushed over immediately.

Kisame, the great blue beast without a tail, had fallen to the ground, unconscious. They had run out of time, ten minutes short of Pein's deadline.

Sasori's body was stirring as he too came back to himself.

But why wasn't Cin moving?

**…**

Sasori slammed his hand on the table, as he realized that he had failed in his mission.

Why was she being so stubborn? She had thoroughly wasted his only shot of getting her out of there.

Now…now, he had no clue what could be done. Having someone coming back from Limbo was unlikely enough. Now, it wouldn't happen at all.

Why'd she have to be so stubborn? She should've known that he'd come for her. Why make the contingency plan if she hadn't thought that? It'd be too much effort otherwise.

Why had she eaten that fruit? Why did she have to stay?

**…**

"**I'd have been lonely if you had gone.**"

"I'm not going anywhere, Nic. You know that."

"**Not really, no,**" the Voice grabbed Cin by the shoulders and turned her to look her in the eye, "**You didn't eat the fruit, after all.**"

The healer avoided her gaze as best as she could, her eyes shifting to the ground.

"**I had thought you wanted to stay with me.**"

"I do, Nic. I do want to stay with you!" Cin pleaded, "I just…"

"**Do not lie to me**," those sickening eyes glowered at her, "**I am you. Your lies are unpalatable.**"

"I'm sorry…"

"**You're scared of the finality of it all, aren't you? You're scared to stay here forever. Poor little Cin, forever afraid of making the wrong decision, to the point that you can't make any at all!**" she spat at her clone, who shrunk back against her seat.

"**Why are you so scared of me?**" the doppelganger mocked as she came closer, "**Why are you so scared of yourself, hm?**"

"I'm not scared."

"**Then make your choice. You either stay here with me forever, or you try to find a way back to reality. You must choose now, Cindra. I will not permit you to change your mind if you decide to stay with me.**"

From nowhere, she pulled out a new, unblemished apple, and placed it in Cin's hands, wrapping her fingers around it as she kept eye contact.

"**I will give you twenty-four hours to make your decision. I'll even be nice enough and have it be by Limbo time instead of the real world. But you must give me your answer then, or I'll take it by force. And Cindra…you won't like it if it comes to that.**"

**… … … … …**

Stream of consciousness writing is certainly interesting. It's amazing where you'll end up.

Hope you enjoyed!


	47. Chapter 47 - A Thing

Hey, sorry for the long wait and the short chapter. Hopefully the next will be longer and much better, but this is more of a bridging chapter.

**Where there are two, you see just one.  
>But if there are thirty, you will see none.<br>It comes in a month, but not in a year.  
>Horror has several, but it causes no fear.<br>It's in Wisconsin, but not New Hampshire.  
>It's in a response, but not in an answer.<strong>

HINT: It is not a letter in the alphabet.

**The answer is "o", because this letter is not found anywhere in the phrase of "the alphabet".**

Welcome to what I believe is the second to last chapter of this story. Therefore, hopefully I'll get the conclusion out fairly quickly.

Note, I said that this is the PENULTIMATE chapter. No matter what you think of how this chapter ends, this is NOT the end. So please, keep reading.

I'd like to thank everyone for reading so far, and to also apologize for the sudden end.

Happy reading!

**… … … … …**

Deidara had waited by her side for a few days after Sasori had come back from Limbo, hoping that somehow, the chakra trail that the puppetmaster had left behind was enough to guide her back.

That never happened.

He hoped that maybe Sasori had talked to a hallucination (the real Cin would've come back to them after all), and that perhaps, if they had gone back, they'd find the real one.

But Leader refused to allow them. And as much as it irked him to admit it, Leader was stronger than him. Not to mention, the others had all given up.

Deidara would be unable to rescue her himself, that much was clear. He didn't have the strength of chakra to create a lifeline back to this world. He didn't have the knowledge of the in-between world necessary to travel it safely.

He didn't even know if she was still there.

It was seven days after Sasori had gone to Limbo in an attempt to persuade the healer to return to them.

Seven days since Deidara had felt his heart drop into his stomach upon hearing the words that she had no intention of returning.

He kept pushing, kept hoping, that maybe she could still return. They needed to wait for her to come back. She wasn't going to leave them.

She couldn't.

But today, today all of his efforts were shown to be for nothing.

Because today was the day of her funeral.

Leader had said that it was for the bomber's own sake. It was disturbing to see him so obsessed with a dead object, not even a person at this point. Just a mass of elements (mostly Carbon) that had arranged itself into molecules, cells, tissues, organs, organ systems, and finally, a human being.

A human being by the name of Cindra Laeh.

Deidara's insane attitude towards bombs showed that his mind was already over halfway off its rocker. This obsession was just pushing it closer and closer to the edge.

He needed closure, the whole group of the Akatsuki acknowledged this.

They all needed closure.

Therefore, they'd send her off like a proper shinobi, one who had served well in battle and was a valued member of the group.

So, no, Zetsu was NOT allowed to turn her body into fertilizer for his precious flowers, no matter how much he wheedled and plead. Some people would find this extremely disturbing, but the members of the Akatsuki knew otherwise. This was the cannibal's way of showing respect for their fallen friend, for he never allowed anyone or anything to touch his precious roses unless he thoroughly liked and trusted them or it.

No, the body would be burned, burned so that no one could find it and take it apart in order to determine it's secrets.

It would be burned tonight at sunset.

**…**

It was a mockery. A horrible mockery.

Cin's body refused to burn.

The Voice's cruel gift had not only robbed them of a dear friend, but also of a way to end this all. The empty shell just wouldn't catch flame.

Itachi even brought out his Amaterasu and turned it onto the mocking thing.

Nothing. Not even a wisp of smoke.

This was what broke them. This is what brought it all home to the members.

They did not cry. They were hardened shinobi. Shinobi never cry.

But they all turned and walked away. They left the body, left it sitting in the midst of the clearing.

If the body, that horrible THING wouldn't be destroyed by even Itachi's strongest flames, then it could wait for them to figure out another method to deal with it.

It only represented a task to be done. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Even Deidara left the body. He couldn't stand to look at it.

It was a monstrous thing. A nightmare. A grim joke of fate.

That smug smile on its face. The Voice had won. And it kept rubbing their noses in it.

He just wanted to reach over and claw that smile off of Cin's face. It was just unnatural. It didn't belong there. The only thing that belonged on Cin's lips was a genuine grin, filled with happiness and wonder.

Not this. Anything but this.

It made him sick. It made his stomach twist and clench.

He just knew that if he pried open those eyelids, he'd only see those nauseating puke-colored eyes, shot through with red.

And this was the reason he could not allow himself to touch the body. He knew that if he let even a finger touch her hand, then he would not be able to rest until he finally destroyed it. And himself with it.

He'd die before he'd be able to change even the slightest bit of that smirk, and when he found Cin in Limbo (assuming she was still there), she'd hate him for throwing his life away.

He snorted with derisive laughter. He was so sure of this fact, but the fact remains that she had thrown away the chance to continue her own life.

She had trampled on their offering like it was nothing more than trash. And all of this was because that's how she thought of her own life.

She thought her life was trash, garbage. That's what Sasori had said. Well, not in those words, but that was the impression that Deidara had gotten from them.

If she had said those words to his face, then he'd have killed her. Destroyed her for thinking such things.

Of course, it seemed that he had destroyed her anyways, just by crash landing in her golf course.

It was hard to reconcile the thought that the Voice was Cin. It was much easier to think of it as a separate entity, one that he could hate thoroughly while continuing to paint Cin as the victim.

But he had never been good at ignoring the truth, at taking the easy route. If he had wanted the easy route, he wouldn't have chosen the path of an S-class criminal.

**…**

No animals had dared feed upon the false body. Well, maybe they had tried, but likely had broken their teeth on its flesh.

But no animals were there when the Akatsuki had returned the next day, finally with an idea of how to dispose of the monstrous body they had been left with.

To be completely honest, however, it would have been a gift if the body had been destroyed during the night. It wouldn't be haunting them then.

Not like this.

Sasori had constructed a wooden box, a coffin, in which to bury the body.

It was a dark wood, a strong wood. It belied the puppetmaster's ideas for aesthetics.

Beauty and art is immortal.

But in this case, Deidara thought that Sasori no Akasuna might actually secretly agree with the bomber's philosophy, at least in the case of the body.

They'd had plenty of bodies to take care of before, of course. There were many skeletons hiding in their closets.

But these had all began to decay the minute the heart stopped beating. Not like this atrocious thing.

It wasn't even Cin anymore.

They placed her in the coffin, and closed the lid, fastening it with a seal that only Sasori would be able to break. The puppetmaster had the ability to make the strongest seals, and Deidara was more than content to allow him the only key to this sepulcher.

He had no interest in ever seeing this monster ever again.

**…**

They buried the entity in a field far away from the headquarters, but near to a village. Near enough that they'd be able to visit if they ever desired, without arousing too much suspicion as to why strange people were constantly visiting the same piece of dead land.

But none of them ever planned to go.

Not even Deidara.

The intention was to forgot that there had ever existed a girl by the name of Cin. To forget and go back to their old lives.

And they did. They couldn't simply drop out of the world, fall out of existence for a short period of time. If they left at all, it would all go on without them.

And then they'd never be able to catch up.

And everything they had fought for, everything they had sacrificed, everything they had done…it would all be for nothing.

Deidara watched as Zetsu buried the body, burying it with all of the reverence he'd give one of his precious plants. He watched the dirt pound down over the coffin, leaving a tower just barely above the ground.

He had no clue why Sasori had included the bell tower. Cin was dead, no doubt about it. She'd not be waking up in a few days, needing a way out. She would never wake up again. It's only purpose would be to mark the grave of someone no one would remember.

It was over.

This was the end.

This was where they all turned around and never looked back.

Because really, what was the point?

The answer?

None at all.


	48. Chapter 48: Fin

Welcome to the last chapter of "Quiet on the Campus". It's been a long journey to get to this point, and I'm sad to realize that it took me two years to reach the end, and not nearly half the chapters as the original.

I will continue this note at the end of this chapter, because some of what I want to say will spoil the chapter.

Thank you for reading.

**… … … … …**

"**You have to make a choice**," Nic snapped at her, "**You have one minute left. If you fail to make a decision, I'll sentence you to forever in Limbo.**"

"I know," Cin groaned, burying her face in her hands, as though if she hid it, she could hide from the omnipresent voice in her mind.

"**Then decide already!**" the voice was suddenly there, next to her, grabbing her by her collar and shoving her towards the wall that materialized behind her. Nic's voice sounded agonized, "**Either stay with me, or leave now! Stop analyzing the benefits and consequences of each decision and just go with what you want to do for once!**"

"But I don't want to hurt anyone," the girl murmured.

"**Does it not occur to you that you're hurting people even more like this?**"

The sad expression on Cin's face made it clear that it had. But she still couldn't make a move.

Nic turned to look at the clock materializing on the wall. It was different than the typical clock, only counting off the seconds of a minute.

As such, the hand of the clock was moving at a rapid pace, though that might have just been the atmosphere of the place that made it spin like crazy.

"**10…9…8…**"

**…**

_Later…_

Deidara had broken his promise to himself. He had returned to the grave to look upon where they had buried the monster their friend had become. The Akatsuki had long since separated and gone their separate ways.

There was a method that they could use to find each other again, but no one really wanted to.

You might think that this had all come about because of Cin's death. Well, I'm here to tell you that nothing could be further from the truth. In all actuality, their group had lasted for several years after she was gone, continuing with their mission as planned.

But, since their healer was permanently out of commission, they had to make other arrangements. They set up plans so that if they were in a situation where their death seemed imminent, they could fake it.

And that's what had happened.

Everyone who was a member of the Akatsuki was now officially "dead".

They all had to keep a low profile, but somehow, they were managing it. Deidara had no clue what any of them were doing, and frankly, he didn't care.

He had gone into the firework business. Sure, it was a mere shade of his previous life, but it was the closest he could get.

He had survived. Kept living the best way he could.

And now? And now he was back. He told himself that he was just in town to attempt to spread his new business.

Unexpectedly, his feet carried him past the village, and towards the field where they had buried the "body", if it could even be called that. The thing was much more akin to a statue, a wax figurine, a mannequin, than an actual human body. He'd just be fooling himself claiming otherwise.

He saw the tower in the distance, and smiled faintly at the sight.

Someone, he had no clue who, had been there. The tower was covered in ivy and flowers, yellow daffodils and bright daisies. It was ironic, how cheery and full-of-life the tomb appeared.

He wanted to blow it up. His fingers were itching, in a way they hadn't in years. Where were his bombs? Where were his explosions?

He could feel the corner of his mouth twitching, his old manic grin just about DYING to come back.

Just a small explosion couldn't hurt, right? Maybe if he gave it everything he had, maybe he'd be able to destroy the memories. It's not like there was anything in there worth keeping. Just an empty body. Not even a body, really. Just something they inscribed with Cin's name because they couldn't admit that it wasn't her, not there at the end.

Just one small explosion wouldn't destroy his cover, would it? Not a big deal, right? He'd be gone before anyone was alerted.

His hand searched for his pouch, his chakra already starting to prepare for the explosion.

And the, then he heard it. So faint that he couldn't be sure he heard it.

No, he knew he heard it. He just couldn't BELIEVE he heard it. He couldn't. He wouldn't.

But there it was again, a faint ringing that he could only hear from his shinobi training.

The wind?

No, the tower was shielded from the wind by walls around the bell.

They didn't want any false alarms getting their hopes up for no reason.

He started to run.

He skidded to a halt in front of the tower, out of breath. Not from the sudden burst of activity, but from the anticipation of the whole thing.

Deidara listened, earnestly…but he heard nothing.

A cloud of despair crossed his face as he slumped against the tomb.

Of course, there was no way she was alive. Cin was dead, and completely out of her body. He had gotten plenty of proof from Sasori when the puppet had traveled to Limbo.

He was just deluding himself.

Even if she did suddenly come back, what would he even say to her? Things had changed.

And they wouldn't be able to go back. It would be impossible.

Besides, she's dead.

_Ring! Ring!_

Wow, he really was delusional, wasn't he?

_Ring!Ring!Ring!_

Was it getting more insistent?

"HEY!"

He practically jumped off the tower at the sound of the familiar voice.

Deidara placed a hand to his head. It was finally happening. He was finally losing it.

_Ring!Ring!Ring!_

"THIS SERIOUSLY ISN'T FUNNY, GUYS! LET ME OUT!"

_Ring!Ring!Ring!_

This was a really realistic delusion.

"DEIDARA! YOU GET ME OUT OF HERE OR ELSE I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"

_Ring!Ring!Ring!_

Death threats…not really like Cin…unless she was furious…

Yeah…

"HELP!"

Oh shoot…Cin!

"Cin?"

"WELL, IT'S CERTAINLY NOT THE QUEEN OF SHEBA!"

"You're alive?"

"OF COURSE NOT. HOW COULD I **POSSIBLY** BE TALKING TO YOU UNLESS I'M DEAD?"

"Oh shoot…"

**…**

A couple hours later, Deidara had finally unearthed the sepulcher. There was just one problem left.

He couldn't get it open.

"Wow," he said, "The whole thing about having Sasori be the only one able to open this up doesn't seem like such a great idea anymore."

"Ya think?"

"Hey, I'm sorry. Didn't think we'd have any reason to open it back up."

"So…what are we going to do?"

The blond shrugged, "Guess we gotta go find Sasori. Have to track him down."

"Track him down? C'mon Dei, I last saw him 24 hours ago. I doubt he's gone far."

Deidara's eyes widened as he turned to stare at the coffin, "24 hours?"

"Yeah. What, have you gone deaf, Dei?"

"Cin…it's been eight years."

Silence.

"What?"

"Cin," Deidara took a deep breath, "You died eight years ago. I'm twenty-seven now. The Akatsuki isn't even an organization anymore."

Silence.

"_EXPLETIVE!_"

**…**

_Meanwhile…_a gigantic slab of granite fell on Hidan's head. He swore as he rubbed the sore spot, and for a moment he turned to scream at Cin…then remembered that she was long gone.

It was probably a coincidence.

He was building a temple to Jashin in the mountains. Lots of falling rocks, he supposed.

Yeah, just a coincidence.

**…**

"Okay," Deidara finally came back, "Sasori's hiding out in Suna. Several days there and back, even without you in the coffin. With you…it's a lot longer."

"Can't you communicate some other way?"

"Not unless we want it to get intercepted. Besides, it's unlikely that he'd even answer unless I came in person."

"Dei," her voice sounded so small and weak, "I don't want to be left alone…"

He didn't want to leave her alone, to be completely honest, "It'll be faster…"

"Yeah."

They sat in silence.

"Dei?"

"Yeah?"

"Is this a good time to mention that I'm claustrophobic?"

Pause.

"Not really."

"Oh, okay. I'll tell you later then."

"Much appreciated."

Pause.

"Cin?"

"Yeah?"

"Theoretically, if you _were_ claustrophobic…would it be worse being completely by yourself?"

"Theoretically? You mean like a hypothetical situation?"

"Yeah."

"Well, hypothetically speaking…I feel like I'll slowly go insane and start beating my head in against the sides of this coffin, and start ripping my nails off by clawing at the insides…"

"So…it'll be worse?"

"Yeah," there was a smile in her voice, "It'll be worse."

The bomber sighed, "Dangit."

**…**

_Several weeks later…_

"Finally!" Deidara cried out, dropping the coffin into the sand. He heard a cry from inside and promptly apologized.

"It's fine," Cin sighed, "Just go get Sasori before I start worrying about the fact that I haven't had any food or water in over eight years, nor have had a shower."

Deidara winced. This had been a topic of conversation multiple times over the last few weeks. It was uncomfortable every single time.

It's not like it was HIS fault that she had died and been locked in a box that only Sasori could open. Granted, he wasn't entirely blameless for the latter part, but still.

The point was that they had finally arrived. Soon, he wouldn't have to carry Cin around anymore, and she'd be able to walk under her own power.

He slammed open the door, startling the brunet working at the front counter.

"Where's Sasori?" Deidara slammed his hands down on the counter.

"Who?" the counterman tilted his head.

"Don't play dumb with me," the bomber spun the man's head around, "Take me to your master, before I blow you up."

"Unnecessary, brat," the redhead that he knew all too well came out from the back, looking tired as he let his frontman collapse, his chakra strings reaching across the room to put the closed sign on the door and lock it, "What is it?"

"I need you to open Cin's tomb."

Sasori was taken aback. Whatever the answer he had expected, this wasn't it.

"Why?"

"So she can get out."

"Cin's dead."

"Cin _was_ dead."

"That's what I said."

"No, you said that Cin _is_ dead. I'm saying that she _was_ dead."

"Death isn't temporary, you're obviously delusional."

"C'mon, danna, she's getting really mad sitting in there, unable to get out."

"Who?"

"Cin."

"What?"

"She wants to get out already."

"You're crazy."

"You just noticed?" a broad grin was on his face, though. This was what he had been missing. This feeling of being alive, the banter! Ah, he could do it all day!

Oh, but he couldn't, he needed Sasori to free Cin already!

"C'mon, you gotta open it!" he felt eight years younger as he started pushing Sasori to the door. The redhead sighed, deciding to humor the younger man.

"You'll have to let me get my affairs in order first, before we head out there."

"No need, I brought her here."

This was definitely getting a little extreme for a delusion.

"You brought the casket here?"

"Yeah…apparently she was going to go insane if left alone for too long…"

"So…she told you this?"

"Yes! Now c'mon!" He finally got the puppetmaster outside, who was astonished to see that the sepulcher was indeed in front of his shop.

And the bell was ringing non-stop.

And a familiar voice was yelling form inside it.

"Hurry up, Dei! Please!"

"Cin?" he questioned.

"Sasori?"

"You're…you're alive?"

"I've already been through this with Dei, Sasori. JUST GET ME THE _EXPLETIVE_ OUT OF HERE!"

Yeah, that sounded like Cin.

He hurried to open the casket. It seemed too horrible to leave her stuck in there for any longer.

**…**

She hadn't changed a bit. Neither had Sasori.

Wow, Deidara felt SO old.

But he kept watching her, looking for reassurance that she wasn't a ghost.

That she was really there.

She was curled up in the corner of Sasori's shop, watching the fire dance as the puppetmaster polished one of his works, but she was really there.

"I guess I was telling the truth more than I realized," she suddenly spoke up.

"Hm?" was Sasori's mumbled response.

"In the stories about the fae realm, there were always incidents like this. Someone would cross over for a night of revelry, but when they came back, everyone they knew was long gone."

A small tear ran down her cheek.

"When I first woke up, and couldn't hear anyone, I thought of those stories. I was so glad to hear Dei's voice, though, I thought that maybe I had come back at the right time. That maybe the timelines had matched up. I was wrong."

She leaned back and looked up at him, "I'm sorry, Sasori. I should've come back with you when you came to get me."

"I thought you couldn't come back…you ate the apple, remember?"

Her eyes flickered down to the floor, "I lied. I didn't want you to spend time persuading me. I thought that if you believed that I had completely committed to death, then maybe you'd just leave."

"What made you change your mind?"

She crawled closer to the fire, as though seeking out its warmth, raising a hand, almost touching it.

"Truthfully?"

Everyone was silent as she deliberately lowered her hand into the flames, her amber eyes reflecting the fire's dance.

"Selfishness."

Deidara surged forward and yanked her hand from the flames. But her face didn't appear to be in pain. In fact, it seemed almost bored.

"Just a little test," she smiled up at him, "I don't get injured anymore. I wonder why."

There wasn't even a sign of her skin healing over the burns.

"When I was inside the box, I clawed at the walls, the lid, anything I could reach. My fingernails should have been ragged, my fingertips should have been ripped to shreds. Yet when I touched them, they were whole. I hadn't felt any of my chakra be used to repair them. It was simply as though they had never been ruined. I tested the theory a few more times on our way over here. I kept getting bored in there, I had to do something. I kept getting the same results."

She went back to staring at the fire, "Nic did something to me, didn't she?"

Deidara hesitated; Sasori did not.

"Yes."

"Is that the reason I had a body to come back to?"

"Yes."

"No damage?"

"None."

"Then I guess I'm lucky."

"This is past luck, Cindra," he smiled at her, "You crossed the line into sheer chaos and fallacies a long time ago."

"Maybe Itachi is right," Deidara finally spoke up, "Maybe there is an author writing us."

"If there is, then it's definitely an illogical and crazy one."

**… … … … …**

Thank you very much for finishing _Quiet on the Campus_! I hope everyone enjoyed it (though I doubt you'd have gotten this far if you didn't like it at least a _little_ bit.

I hope I surprised everyone with this chapter, while still bringing back the humor to make it a little more easy to digest. As I've mentioned to some of you, this ending is the main reason I've been stuck with this story. I knew she needed to die, but I didn't want to kill her. And I couldn't just magically bring her back to life with no side effects. That just didn't sit right with me either.

I hope everyone's okay with the length of time that's gone by. I wanted a decent amount of time to have passed, without it being a creepy age difference. Hopefully this suffices.

People have asked me if I'm going to make this into a trilogy. To be honest, before them asking, it hadn't crossed my mind.

However, I might do a few small drabbles of what happened after this chapter, one-shots aimed only at humor, and not at plot. Still deciding whether or not to do it, and certainly can't guarantee whether or not it'll be any good.

Anyways, thanks again for reading, and I hope you enjoyed!

TTFN! Ta-ta for now!


End file.
